The Cowboy's City Girl (19 page)

“Is that a problem for you?”

She shook her head. “But I can't leave until Dolly's aunt comes.” She explained Dolly's situation.

Ralph got to his feet and went to look out the window. He clasped his hands behind his back—the picture of a man in deep study. After a moment, he turned to face her. “Can you not leave her in your aunt's care?”

She could but she would not. “I promised her she would stay with me until her aunt—”

“Yes, yes. But time is of prime importance. I don't want to be caught in a winter storm. My wife's illness and death has delayed us enough.”

“Might I suggest you spend the winter here and leave in the spring when travel is safer?”

He let out a weary sigh. “I must get there as soon as possible. If I spend the winter, I'll have to wait for the passes to open. It will be late to start plowing.”

“I see.”

“One more thing. It wouldn't be appropriate for us to travel together unless we're married.”

Married! “But I don't know you. We've just met.” A dozen more protests rushed forward but she closed her mouth. “I'm afraid I'm not interested in such an arrangement.”

“You aunt gave me to think you were open to accepting the position of my children's nanny. A marriage between us would be in name only. I love...loved...my wife and have no need of another.” He looked past her, around her, anywhere but directly at her. Not that she had any desire to meet his gaze, either.

A marriage of convenience might suit him but it did not suit her. She clung to the faint hope that Levi would come calling. “I'm sorry,” she repeated.

“My offer is open for two days.” He hurried from the room, called his children and left.

Beatrice remained in the parlor in a state of shock. Ralph's offer was no better than the arrangement her father planned.

Was that all she could expect? A loveless marriage?

Aunt Opal came to the door. “Did you come to an agreement?”

Beatrice opened her mouth to answer but choked and couldn't speak. She rushed to her bedroom and threw herself on the bed.

A few minutes later Aunt Opal tapped on the door. “May I come in?”

“Yes.” Beatrice's voice was muffled against the pillow, hiding the tears that threatened.

“I take it you didn't care for the man.”

Anger mingled with disappointment and sadness. She turned to face her aunt. “He wants me to marry him.”

At least her aunt looked shocked at the idea, giving Beatrice some comfort.

She explained Ralph's circumstances. “My father wanted me to marry a man who would become the son I never was. Now this man wants to marry me simply to provide a mother for his children. Am I of no value to anyone?” She ended on a wail.

“Come here.” Aunt Opal opened her arms and Beatrice went gladly into her embrace. Her aunt patted Beatrice's back a moment and made comforting noises then she began to speak. “I'm sorry your father has treated you so poorly and my sister, too. How could they fail to see what a treasure you are?”

Beatrice let the words soak into her soul.

Aunt Opal leaned back to look in Beatrice's face. “What is even sadder is that you fail to see it.”

“Me? How can I see otherwise? I am nothing. Of no value.”

“Child, what you are saying is that God made a mistake in making you. Do you think God makes mistakes?”

Beatrice began to shake her head and then stopped. “Maybe this once?” she said with an attempt at humor.

Aunt Opal's smile was tender. “Not even this once. You are fearfully and wonderfully made.”

Beatrice jerked upright. “That's what I told Levi. Where is it in the Bible?”

“It's Psalm 136, verses fourteen and fifteen.” Aunt Opal handed her a Bible. “Look it up and read it. Believe it.” She left the room.

Beatrice found the verses and read them over and over.
Marvelous are thy works. My soul knoweth right well.

Only her soul didn't know it.

But God said it. She must believe it. Her gaze went again to the fourteenth verse.
I will praise thee.
Could she praise God for who she was?

With her heart humbled, she fell to her knees and thanked God for who she was, for who He had made her to be.

A few minutes later, she returned to the kitchen.

Aunt Opal smiled. “You have chosen to believe it. I can tell.”

She hugged her aunt. “Thank you.” She went to the porch to watch Dolly playing. God had made them all and had a wonderful plan. She hugged her arms about her, certain that Levi was part of that plan.

Lord,
she prayed,
help him see he is fearfully and wonderfully made.

If he believed it would he see her as belonging in his life as she ached to do? She had no choice but to trust God to make it so.

Until then she would wait.

She was still watching Dolly and thinking about Levi when the sheriff rode up.

He swung down and joined her on the porch. “I have news.”

Her heart dipped at the tone of his voice.

“Come inside so we can talk.” She asked Aunt Opal to keep an eye on Dolly and for the second time that day she led a man to the parlor and took a seat while he spoke.

“I'm afraid it's bad news. We received news from the solicitor that the aunt has passed away. As far as we can tell, there are no other relatives.”

Beatrice stared at the man as the news sank in. “What will become of her?”

“She is now a ward of the state. Unless someone adopts her, she will be placed in an orphanage.”

An orphanage? Dolly? “No. I will adopt her.”

The sheriff shook his head. “I don't know if single women are allowed to adopt.”

“Then just leave her with me. I'll give her a home.”

He looked about the room. “Are you planning to live with your aunt and uncle?”

“No. Yes. I don't know.” She had to think this through and come up with a plan that would allow her to keep Dolly. “Can't you leave her with me for a few days? Allow me time to work out something?”

“I don't suppose a few days will make any difference.” He got to his feet. “Now if you were to tell me you were about to be married, that would change everything.”

She couldn't honestly tell him that.

Or could she?

Chapter Seventeen

L
evi had ridden far up the mountains to a favorite spot where he and his brothers had often camped. And where they had talked about their Indian mother. He spent hours sitting by a campfire, lost in thought.

Who was he? Where did he belong? He sifted through his memories, trying to find answers in his past.

Tanner had found connection between the past and the present by going to the cathedral of the trees, where their mother, Seena, had felt close to God. But Levi could barely remember his ma there.

Johnny had found belonging in the affection of a baby boy. Levi couldn't understand that, though little Adam was cute as a button.

What did he remember of Seena? He remembered her singing in words he did not understand. But her voice comforted him nevertheless.

Mostly he remembered how he had gone to bed one night thinking all was right with his world and woke up the next and nothing was right. His ma was gone. Later, he realized she'd been sick many days, but at the time he only thought the night had stolen her away.

Pa must have realized Levi was having trouble sleeping and brought home a pup. Shep became his best friend. He slept on Levi's bed and Levi felt safe.

He smiled. One night Shep had gotten all muddy and Pa wouldn't let him in the house. As soon as everyone was asleep, Levi had slipped outside and found Shep in the barn and had curled up beside him.

He had been a frightened little boy. But he wasn't that any longer.

But who was he?

He ached for the answer.

A deer with two fawns at her side tiptoed from the trees to drink at the little stream nearby. Levi could sit motionless for hours, something his ma had taught him though he barely remembered her. He could track man or beast most anywhere. So much about him had been inherited from his mother's side. But he also knew how to break a horse and take care of a cow, and he had a love of the ranch that came from his father's side.

But he was neither white nor native.

Who was he?

Beatrice filled his thoughts over and over. He heard her voice in song, heard her comments about the world around them, saw her swinging skirts as she carried laundry to the line, and he remembered things she said.

You are fearfully and wonderfully made
.

She'd challenged him to believe it. He'd challenged her right back.

Could he believe it? And if he did, would that give him the right to go after Beatrice and tell her what was in his heart?

Believing it was as simple as choosing to do so.

He let the truth seep deep into his being. Yes, he was a half-breed and there would always be those who saw that as an ugly thing. But he didn't need to let the opinion of others influence how he saw himself.

He jumped to his feet and let out a whoop. “I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” He lifted his face to heaven. “Thank You, God.”

Did believing it give him the right to go after Beatrice?

Maybe the question was, did he have the courage to go after her and confess his feelings, knowing she might reject him?

Did Tanner and Johnny have these same struggles? Had Big Sam found it hard to admit his love to Seena and then to Maisie?

Perhaps part of loving was the risk involved in opening up one's heart.

But without that risk, a person could go through life safe but very lonely.

He wasn't ready to do that.

It took him ten minutes to break camp and head home. He'd take time to bathe and change his clothes and then go to Granite Creek. He'd find Beatrice and confess his love.

He whooped as he rode home.

If he hadn't misunderstood Beatrice's smiles and her kiss—he'd pressed his hand to his cheek—she entertained a degree of fondness toward him. He'd pretended it wasn't so, clinging to his belief that she was a city girl and he a half-breed, and that made love between them impossible.

How could he have been so blind and stubborn?

What if she'd given up on him? Maybe even gone back to Chicago to do as her father demanded? He urged Scout to a faster pace.

He must get to town as soon as possible.

* * *

Beatrice stood before her uncle, who had reluctantly agreed to perform the marriage ceremony between herself and Ralph Simpson. She'd agreed to his offer of marriage on the condition they adopt Dolly.

At first he had objected. “I already have three children.”

Beatrice had persisted. “I won't leave her.”

“Will you favor her above my children?”

The question forced her to examine her heart. She'd met his children three more times and had found it difficult to warm up to them. And truthfully, the way they shunned Dolly made her want to scold them. But she knew she must treat them all the same. “I will not favor her in any way, though I will protect her.”

He had studied her face then turned to study his children where they chased each other around the yard while Dolly clutched Smokey to her chest and watched.

Deep lines in Ralph's face indicated how difficult life had been for him.

She should touch his arm, assure him they could make this work, but she couldn't bring herself to reach out to him. Her heart tightened. She simply didn't feel anything toward the man, apart from determination to do what she must to keep Dolly.

If only Levi had shown some interest in pursuing their friendship. But she must accept the truth. He didn't care. But she could face a loveless future. She was strong enough and sure enough of herself. She would enter a marriage of convenience for the sake of the child she loved.

She faced Uncle Elwood. She was about to be married. As soon as they said their vows, Ralph insisted they should begin the journey to Oregon.

Beatrice would not think of all that entailed. She'd only just learned to cook over a stove and would now have to cook over a campfire. There would be four children to tend, plus a milk cow. Ralph had given her to understand the cow would be Beatrice's responsibility. All she could say was she would do her best and learn as quickly as possible.

Ralph had said he couldn't expect more.

Both her bags and Dolly's stood packed and ready to add to the contents of the very crowded wagon.

Ralph had said he and the boys would sleep under the wagon. Beatrice and the girls could sleep in the wagon.

Explaining her decision to Dolly had been the hardest thing about the whole situation. She'd taken the child for the promised visit to her parents' graves. After letting the reality of their passing settle in, she'd told Dolly that she meant to keep her, but the only way she could was to get married so she would marry Mr. Simpson and he would become Dolly's new father.

Tears had trickled down the little girl's cheeks. “Why don't you marry Levi?” she'd whispered. “I want him to be my papa.”

Beatrice had held the child close, her tears mingling with Dolly's. If only Levi hadn't ridden out of their lives.

She'd spent the last few days praying he would come to town and pay her a visit. If he expressed the slightest interest in continuing their friendship she would not marry Ralph. She'd persuade the sheriff to give her more time.

But he hadn't come.

She'd waited a week hoping and praying.

Finally, she'd accepted the inevitable and sent a message to the Sundown Ranch informing them she was marrying Ralph Simpson and extending an invitation for any who wanted to attend to please do so.

There had been no reply, a fact that hurt more than she expected.

She'd also sent a letter to Father and Mother, informing them of her upcoming marriage. She knew Father would be angry, but she'd be on her way over the mountains before he could do anything about it.

Uncle Elwood cleared his throat. “Beatrice, are you sure of this?”

Her heart hammered a harsh tattoo. She looked at Dolly, who was wearing a new pink dress she'd purchased at the local store. Ralph's children stood by his side.

Dolly slipped her hand into Beatrice's.

“I'm sure,” Beatrice said, her voice strong and clear. Perhaps in time she would grow to love Ralph, though Levi would always own a large portion of her heart and mind.

“Very well. Then shall we proceed?” Uncle Elwood opened a black book and began to read. “Marriage is an honorable estate and not to be entered into lightly or unadvisedly.” He paused and studied each of them.

Beatrice caught her breath. Would Ralph change his mind? After all, he was not getting a bargain—a woman who would probably fail at any number of things and a child who wasn't his own.

But he stared straight ahead and Uncle Elwood continued.

“I therefore charge both of you that if you know any reason why you should not be joined in marriage you make it known at this time.” He waited, again studying them as if he hoped one of them would offer a reason.

Behind Beatrice, Aunt Opal sniffled.

Uncle Elwood cleared his throat. “I hoped...never mind. Do you, Ralph Simpson, take Beatrice Doyle to be your—”

The church door banged open, interrupting Uncle Elwood's question as they all turned to see what caused the commotion.

Levi stood in the opening, backlit by the morning sunshine so she couldn't make out his expression.

“Levi Harding,” Uncle Elwood said in his most sonorous voice. “May I ask the cause of this intrusion?”

Levi strode up the aisle. As he neared, his gaze bored into hers. He looked neither to the right nor the left. Nor did he give any attention to Uncle Elwood. He stopped six feet from Beatrice. “You cannot marry this man.”

Her hackles rose. “I don't see why not. You've certainly never given me any reason to do otherwise.”

He closed the distance until only a few inches separated them.

She could see the bottomlessness of his eyes, the tiny fan lines about them, the handsome color of his skin and so much more. She drank in every detail, searing it permanently on her brain.

“Why have you come?”

“To save you from the biggest mistake of your life.” He caught her hands. “You can't marry a man you don't love.”

“This marriage is not about love.”

“Beatrice Doyle, stop being so blind and stubborn. You can't marry him because I love you and I want to marry you.”

“You do?”

“Yahoo!” The loud sound of approval came from Dolly and they both stared at her.

Together they leaned over the child, hugging and kissing her.

Levi cupped his hand about Beatrice's neck. “Will you call off this wedding and marry me?”

Her eyes stung with happy tears.

“I love you,” he said.

“Yes, I'll marry you. I love you.” She swallowed back tears. “I thought you decided I wasn't a suitable woman for your way of life.”

“You are most suitable.” He leaned closer and kissed her quickly.

“Come on, children.” Ralph shepherded his children down the aisle.

“I'm sorry,” Beatrice called. “I hope you find someone else.”

Aunt Opal continued to sniffle.

Uncle Elwood closed the black book with a thud.

Ralph and the children jostled past another man in the doorway.

“Now what?” Uncle Elwood murmured.

Beatrice stared. “Father, what are you doing here?” It hadn't been that long since she sent the letter. He must have decided earlier that she needed to fulfill his plans for her.

Father strode up the aisle without answering, without greeting Aunt Opal and Uncle Elwood. He grabbed her elbow and jerked her away from Levi. “You are coming home with me.”

She pulled from his grasp. “No, I'm not.”

“You have your duty.”

She swallowed hard. All her life it had been about duty and disappointment. Disappointment in being a girl, duty to make up for it. But she was more than that. She'd learned her own worth while working on the ranch. She stuck out her chin and faced her father.

“If you want a son, adopt one. I won't marry to give you one.” She quivered a bit at the look on his face, but Levi put his arm around her, giving her the courage to go on. “I have found people who value me for who I am.”

Levi's arm tightened about her.

“I belong here.”

Father's face darkened with anger. “You will never get another penny from me. I disown you as my daughter.” He marched from the church without so much as a backward look and without even saying hello to his sister-in-law and her husband.

He hadn't even acknowledged Levi.

Beatrice began to shake. Tears flowed unchecked down her cheeks. Levi pulled her to his chest and rubbed her back. Dolly pressed close. Aunt Opal and Uncle Elwood put their arms about her.

“You will always have a home with us,” her aunt said. “Though I expect you'll soon have your own home.” Her aunt and uncle took Dolly and slipped away, closing the door behind them.

Her tears spent, Beatrice turned her face up to Levi. “Thank you for coming.”

He chuckled though his eyes remained serious. “I would have been here days ago but I ran into trouble.” He told her about tracking the men who were responsible for the vandalism at the ranch. “Then I had to spend a few days talking to myself until I could believe I am fearfully and wonderfully made. As soon as I believed it, I rode home intending to come to town and tell you. And I find a note saying you are about to marry someone by the name of Ralph Simpson. I rode here hoping and praying to arrive before you hitched yourself to that man. Why would you do that?” The hurt blared from his eyes.

“To keep Dolly.” She then provided the explanation.

“Dolly will always have a home with us.” He let out a long breath. “I have never been so scared in all my life as when I saw you standing here with that man. I didn't know if I was too late or not.”

“All the time as I prepared for this day and as I stood before my uncle, I prayed you would come. When you didn't, I believed I wasn't a suitable woman. Just a city girl who didn't fit in.”