The Cowboys Heart: 3 (4 page)

“W
hat do you mean you’re not going to be around
today?” Phillip asked as if he were offended I wouldn’t be around to spend the
day with him, or rather, play host to him and Jamie.

“I mean, I’ve made other plans for the day,” I said as I put
my sunglasses in my purse. “It’ll be fine. Besides, it will give you and Jamie
some time to spend together. Without me.” I didn’t wait for a response before I
was out the door and meeting Hudson in the driveway. The sight of him brought a
smile to my face.

He was leaning against his truck, arms crossed. When he saw
me, he pushed off and came toward me, his eyes hidden behind his sunglasses,
but I knew they were probably dark, just as eager for today as I was.
Wordlessly, he greeted me with a kiss. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and
never let go, but I could feel Phillip watching me from the front window. His
gaze was like a laser to my back, and I cut the kiss short, smiling.

“So, did you figure out what we’re doing today?” I asked as
he led me to the passenger’s side of the truck.

“Yup.” He helped me inside and slammed the door.

I shook my head, laughing softly. He wasn’t going to tell me
anything. He rarely did when it came to our dates, and that was okay because I
really liked Hudson’s surprises.

It was a short ride, less than five minutes, and he was
pulling over and parking the truck alongside of the road. I gave him a
questioning look, but he only responded with a smile. A moment later, we were
out of the truck and walking down a secluded path that led us to the lake. It
was quiet and beautiful. Perfect. Just like being with Hudson always felt. I
squeezed his hand and rested my head on his arm as we walked.

“This is so nice,” I said, sighing with content.

Hudson kissed my head. “I’m glad you were able to get away
today.”

“Me too. I really needed this.” I hesitated to say more. I
knew he didn’t want to hear about my time spent with Phillip, and I wasn’t
about to rub it in. Today was supposed to be about me and Hudson anyway. It was
my day to really figure out my feelings for him, to determine if they were as
strong and true as I hoped they were.

We walked in silence a bit more then stopped at a massive,
fallen log. He sat and brought me down next to him. I could tell something was
on his mind, but didn’t want to ruin the day by prying, so I simply waited for
him to speak.

“I miss you, Heather,” he finally said after several
moments.

I looked up at him, shocked by the sadness I saw in his
eyes. “I know this has been tough on you, but I promise he won’t be here much
longer.”

“I know.” He smiled then grasped the back of my head gently,
bringing me to him for a kiss. I really did love kissing him. He was always so
soft and needy. “I have to be honest, though. I have an ulterior motive for
bringing you out here today.”

My heart stopped. “Uh, okay,” I said slowly.

“Oh, it’s nothing bad,” he said, smiling.

I sighed with relief. “Okay, then what is it?”

He licked his lips and kneeled in front of me. “This isn’t
how I wanted this to go at all, but the surprise of this kinda got ruined.”
Hudson laughed nervously.

Oh God! I knew what he was going to do. My eyes widened, and
I tried to think of something to say, but my mind was blank, and I was
paralyzed. All I could do was watch as he pulled a black, velvet box from his
pocket and opened it. Inside was the most beautiful diamond ring I’d ever seen.
Not too big, but a princess cut with smaller diamonds along the gold band. I
cupped my hands over my mouth.

“I love you more than anything, Heather, and I don’t want to
ever be without you. Will you marry me?”

“Hudson…” I whispered, shaking my head. Not in answer, but
in awe.

He took my hand and caressed it, but he didn’t take out the
ring or try to put it on me. I knew he was waiting for my answer. I swallowed
hard and looked deep into his eyes. A week ago I would’ve jumped at his proposal;
I would’ve flung my arms around him, kissed him, shouted yes so everyone in the
county could hear me. But so much had changed this past week, and I was so
confused. I didn’t know what to say to him. All I could think about was how
Jamie would react. When he’d heard Hudson was going to propose, Jamie ran away.
What would he do if he knew Hudson asked and I said yes? And what about
Phillip? Things with him and I were getting better by the day, we were
rekindling the love we once shared.

“Heather?” Hudson’s voice cracked and he looked like he was
ready to cry.

“Hudson, I…” I clamped my mouth shut and fought back tears.
I couldn’t break his heart. I did want to marry him, but I had to think of my
son and what this might do to him.

“Is this because of your ex?” Hudson finally asked, getting
off his knees and sitting beside me again. He snapped the ring box closed, and
I flinched at the sound of my future being stolen from me. “I know you two have
been getting close again. I can see it.”

I buried my face in my hands and shook my head. “I don’t
know.” Taking a deep breath, I forced myself to look at him. I immediately wish
I hadn’t. He looked so hurt and rejected. I couldn’t image how he must feel
right now. He loved me. I loved him. Yet, we were growing distant, both of us
unsure of the other. How did we get here? I thought for sure we were headed
exactly for this moment – for marriage and maybe kids.

“It’s okay,” Hudson said, his voice full of defeat. “I’m not
going to go anywhere unless you tell me to.” He smiled tightly and nudged me
with his shoulder, but he wouldn’t meet my gaze. I guess I couldn’t blame him.
I’d be feeling the same way if I’d asked him such a monumental question and he
shot me down.

I turned on the log to face him and took his hands into
mine, squeezing them reassuringly. “This doesn’t change how I feel about you,
Hudson. I love you. I just need some time to figure a few things out. Please
understand.”

“I do,” he said. “Any idea how long it’ll take you to figure
things out?”

I laughed, and he smiled. “Not long. I promise. In fact,
Jamie’s birthday party is on Friday. Phillip will be leaving on Monday. Then
you and I can focus on us again.”

Hudson caressed my cheek, and I closed my eyes, leaning into
his touch. God, I’d missed him so much. I was always so relaxed with him; it
was so easy to be myself. Unlike with Phillip where I was constantly on edge.
What the heck was I doing? Why didn’t I just say yes to Hudson right now?

Jamie.

I sighed. It was time I had a long talk with my dear son. He
knows all I’ve ever wanted was for him to be happy, but he couldn’t dictate my
life in order for that to happen, and it was past time for me to make that
clear. As soon as his birthday was over and his dad left, I’d tell him. Then
I’d tell Hudson yes.

“Well, like I said, I’m not going anywhere. Neither is my
proposal.” He winked. “If you decide you want…him, and to have your family back
intact, I’ll understand. I won’t like it, but I won’t bother you either.”

That’s when I felt the first tear slip down my cheek. I
hated that Hudson was thrown into the middle of all my family drama. He was too
good of a man to have to deal with crap like this. But, here he was, sticking
it out, never once leaving my side.

“Hey, why don’t you come to Jamie’s party?” I said, trying
to change the subject and lighten the mood. “I think it would do all of us some
good to spend time together like that.” I smiled.

“You sure he isn’t going to mind?”

“No, of course not! My parents will be there, too, so…
Please? I’d really like you to be there.” I looked up at him hopefully. Not
only did I want him there, I needed him to be there. I needed the constant
physical reminder that Hudson was my future and Phillip was my past. If Phillip
and I had this party together, it would be too much like old times. And I
didn’t want to give Phillip anymore ideas than he already had. I’d barely
avoided having that conversation with him the other day.

“Of course I’ll be there.” Hudson smiled. “Promise.” Then he
kissed me, and I forgot all about Phillip and my conflicting feelings. Right
now, the only thing that mattered was Hudson and how amazing he was. Soon
enough, I’d make this up to him. I’d show him how sorry I was that I couldn’t
give him the enthusiastic answer he wanted today.

***

I’d been running around like a mad
woman all day. But the house was clean and decorated for Jamie’s birthday
party. In addition to my parents and Hudson, I’d invited some of Jamie’s
friends. Hopefully they’d all show up, but the party was set to officially
start in ten minutes and so far, the only people here were Jamie and Hudson.
They’d barely spoken to each other, but at least Jamie wasn’t being mean. I’d
take what I could get.

“Hello?” my dad called from the dining room.

“Hey, come on in!” I shouted as I adjusted the cake on the table
again. I wanted everything to look perfect, but I knew now I was just focusing
on things too much to keep busy. I stepped back and greeted my parents in the
kitchen.

“The place looks great,” Mom said, looking around and
smiling.

“Thanks.” I took Jamie’s gift from her and set it on the
gift table I’d set up in the corner.

“So, where’s the birthday boy?” Dad asked.

“Upstairs.” I turned toward the staircase and hollered up,
“Jamie! Grandma and Grandpa are here!” Seconds later, I heart his footsteps on
the stairs. He greeted his grandparents with hugs and kissed. I smiled. Despite
everything, I knew keeping Jamie close to his grandparents was a good idea. He
needed them in his life, and I’m pretty sure they needed him, too. Of course,
my mother would never admit that.

“Hey, where’s Dad?” Jamie asked.

I shrugged. “I’m sure he’s on his way.” Phillip had left a
couple of hours ago saying he wanted to get Jamie an extra special gift. The
nearest shopping mall was a good forty five minutes away. I was sure he’d
probably gotten sidetracked looking for a present or he got lost. He was the
typical man – get lost and too proud to stop and ask for directions.

“Oh, okay.” Jamie looked like he might not believe me, but
he didn’t push the issue. Instead, he wandered into the living room with my dad
and the two of them quickly became engaged in a conversation.

“So, he really on his way back?” Mom asked.

I rolled my eyes. My mother was always so suspicious of
Phillip. Not that I could blame her. This is how his affair started – him
ducking out to buy something for me or Jamie, getting “lost” or some other
fantastical thing would happen. But this time was different – It wasn’t me
Phillip would be cheating on and so I just didn’t care. But so help me, if he
ruined Jamie’s birthday…

“Anything else I can do to help?” Hudson asked as he came
back inside. I’d sent him out to tie balloons to the mailbox.

“No, thank you. Dad and Jamie are in the living room if you
want to join them,” I said with a smile.

Hudson came up behind me, put his hand on the small of my
back, and then kissed me softly on the lips. “Love you,” he whispered so
quietly no one but me could hear him.

I sighed as he walked away, staring after him.

“Now that’s a man your father and I can approve of.”

“Mom, please. Don’t start this now. I know how you feel
about Phillip, but this is not the time or place to rehash all of that, okay?”
I made sure my voice was firm and even a little on the stern side. She might be
my mother, but I wouldn’t let her ruin tonight for my son.

“Okay, okay.” She put her hands up in a show of surrender.
“Fine. But mark my words, Heather, that man in there,” she pointed toward
Hudson, “is a keeper, and if you don’t snatch him up, someone else will.”

I swallowed hard. She was right. Deep down I knew that, but
I refused to let that fear consume me. Hudson wasn’t going anywhere. He told me
so. And he loved me. A man like him wouldn’t suddenly change his mind and go
find someone new. He wasn’t Phillip. Speaking of my ex… I grabbed my cell phone
and texted him.
Party is starting. Where are you?

Turning back to my mom, I said, “I appreciate your concern,
but Hudson and I are just fine and we’ll continue to be fine. Now please, drop
it.” The last thing I needed was for Jamie to overhear me and mom fighting
about Hudson. It would only give Jamie more ammo in his quest to get me back
together with his father. I checked my phone. No response. I frowned. In the
pit of my stomach, I knew something was wrong. Not necessarily that Phillip was
in trouble, but wrong in that he wasn’t where he said he was and he’d probably
show up late or not at all.

The party commenced and Jamie’s friends began to show up. He
was happy each time a new friend arrived, but I could also see the hope on his
face that each new car that pulled in would be his father. And each time it
wasn’t, Jamie’s face fell even more. I texted Phillip three more times over the
next hour, an each time I was met with complete silence. He’d better have a
good explanation for why he was missing Jamie’s birthday party, or Phillip was
going to see a side of me he’d never seen before – the take control, take no
crap side of me.

I went to the kitchen to grab a knife and spatula so we
could cut the cake. Hudson followed me and trapped me between him and the
counter. “You okay?” he asked.

I rested my forehead to his chest and shook my head. “If I
have to see that disappointed look on Jamie’s face one more time…”

Hudson wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my
head. “I’m sure Phillip has a logical explanation.”

I grunted. “He’s completely ignoring my texts and phone
calls.”

“Do you think something bad happened to him?” I was
impressed with the genuine concern I heard in Hudson’s voice.

“No.” I sighed and looked up at him. “No, I think he just
found something better to occupy his time. He used to do this kind of stuff all
the time.”