Authors: Holly Black
Opening the book, I see the familiar illustrations and then the words:
“But I don't want to go among mad people,” Alice remarked.
“Oh, you can't help that,” said the Cat: “we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.”
“How do you know I'm mad?” said Alice.
“You must be,” said the Cat, “or you wouldn't have come here.”
A bubble of scary laughter threatens to rise up my throat, and I have to bite my cheek to keep it from coming.
The human girl is kneeling in front of a huge fireplace, sweeping up ash from the grate. The andirons, shaped like enormous curling serpents, flank her, their glass eyes ready to glow with lit flames.
Although it's ridiculous, I can't bear to put the book back. It isn't one Vivi packed, and I haven't seen it since my mother read it at bedtime. I stuff it down the front of my dress.
Then I go to the wardrobe and open it, seeking some clue, some valuable piece of information. But as soon as I look inside, a wild panic starts in my chest. I am instantly sure whose room I am in. Those are Prince Cardan's extravagant doublets and breeches, Prince Cardan's gaudy, fur-edged capelets and spider-silk shirts.
Done sweeping up ash in the fireplace, the servant girl stacks new wood into a pyramid with aromatic pine for kindling resting on top.
I want to push by her and run from Hollow Hall. I had assumed that Cardan lived in the palace with his father, the High King. It didn't occur to me that he might live with one of his brothers. I remember Dain and Balekin drinking together at the last Court revel. I hope desperately that this wasn't arranged to humiliate me further, to give Cardan another excuseâor worse, opportunityâto punish me more.
I will not believe it. Prince Dain, about to be crowned the High King, does not have time to indulge in the petty sport of pretending to take me into his service just because a callow younger brother wishes it. He would not set a geas on me or bargain with me just for that. I must continue to believe it, because the alternative is too awful.
All this means is that besides Prince Balekin, I must avoid Prince Cardan on my way through the house. Either of them might recognize me if they glimpsed my face. I must make sure they do not glimpse it.
Probably they will not look too closely. No one looks too closely at human servants.
Realizing I am not so different, I force myself to notice the pattern of moles on the human girl's skin and the split ends of her blond hair and the roughness of her knees. I watch how she sways a little as she pushes to her feet; her body's clearly exhausted, even if her brain doesn't know it.
If I see her again, I want to know I would recognize her.
But it does no good, undoes no spell. She continues her tasks, smiling the same awful, contented smile. When she leaves the room, I head in the opposite direction. I must find Balekin's private rooms, find his secrets, and then get out.
I open doors carefully, peering inside. I discover two bedrooms, both under a thick layer of dust, one with a figure lying under a cobwebby shroud on the bed. I pause for a moment, trying to decide if it's a statue or a corpse or even some kind of living thing, then I realize this has nothing to do with my mission and back out quickly. I open another door to find several faeries twined together on a bed, asleep. One of them blinks drowsily at me, and I catch my breath, but he just slumps back down.
The seventh room enters into a hallway with stairs spiraling up and up into what must be the tower. I take them quickly, my heart racing, my leather shoes soft on the stone.
The circular room I come to is paneled in bookshelves, filled with manuscripts, scrolls, golden daggers, thin glass vials with jewel-colored liquids inside, and the skull of some deerlike creature with massive antlers supporting thin taper candles. Two large chairs rest near the only window. There's a huge table dominating the middle of the room, and on it are maps weighed down on the corners by chunks of glass and metal objects. Beneath them is correspondence. I shuffle through the papers until I come to this letter:
I know the provenance of the blusher mushroom
that you ask after, but what you do with it must
not be tied to me. After this, I consider my debt
paid. Let my name be stricken from your lips.
Although the letter is unsigned, the writing is in an elegant, feminine hand. It seems important. Could it be the proof Dain is looking for? Might it be useful enough to please him? And yet I cannot possibly take it. If it were to go missing, then Balekin would know for certain that someone had been here. I find a sheet of blank paper and press it over the note. As quickly as I can, I trace the letter, trying to capture the precise hand in which it was written.
I am almost done when I hear a sound. People are coming up the stairs.
I panic. There's nowhere to hide. There's practically nothing even in the room; it's mostly open space, exempting the shelves. I fold up the note, knowing it's unfinished, knowing the fresh ink will smear.
As quickly as I can, I scuttle underneath one of the large leather chairs, folding myself into a tight ball. I wish I'd left the stupid book where I'd found it because one sharp corner of the cover is digging into my underarm. I wonder what I was thinking, believing myself clever enough to be a spy in Faerieland.
I squeeze my eyes shut, as though somehow not seeing whoever is coming into the room will keep them from seeing me.
“I hope you've been practicing,” Balekin says.
My eyes open into slits. Cardan is standing beside the bookshelves, a bland-faced male servant holding a court sword with gold engraving along the hilt and metal wings making the shape of the guard. I have to bite my tongue to keep from making some sound.
“Must we?” Cardan asks. He sounds bored.
“Show me what you've learned.” Balekin lifts a single staff from a vessel beside his desk that holds an assortment of staves and canes. “All you have to do is get a single hit in. Just one, little brother.”
Cardan just stands there.
“Pick up the sword.”
Balekin's patience is worn thin already.
With a long-suffering sigh, Cardan lifts the blade. His stance is terrible. I can see why Balekin is annoyed. Surely Cardan must have been given fighting tutors since he was old enough to hold a stick in his hands. I was taught from the time I got to Faerie, so he'd have had years on me, and the first thing I learned was where to put my feet.
Balekin raises his staff. “Now, attack.”
For a long moment, they stand still, regarding each other. Cardan swings his sword in a desultory manner, and Balekin brings down his staff hard, smacking him in the side of the head. I wince at the sound of the wood against his skull. Cardan staggers forward, baring his teeth. His cheek and one of his ears is red, all the way to the point.
“This is ridiculous,” Cardan says, spitting on the floor. “Why must we play this silly game? Or do you like this part? Is this what makes it fun for you?”
“Swordplay isn't a game.” Balekin swings again. Cardan tries to jump back, but the staff catches the edge of his thigh.
Cardan winces, bringing up his sword defensively. “Then why call it sword
play
?”
Balekin's face darkens, and his grip on the staff tightens. This time he jabs Cardan in the stomach, striking suddenly and with enough force for Cardan to sprawl on the stone floor. “I have tried to improve you, but you insist on wasting your talents on revels, on being drunk under the moonlight, on your thoughtless rivalries and your pathetic romancesâ”
Cardan pushes himself to his feet and rushes at his brother, swinging his sword wildly. He wields it like a club. The sheer frenzy of the attack makes Balekin fall back a step.
Cardan's technique finally shows. He becomes more deliberate, attacking from new angles. He's never shown much interest in swordsmanship at school, and, although he knows the basics, I am not sure he practices. Balekin disarms him ruthlessly and efficiently. Cardan's sword flies from his hand, clattering across the floor toward me.
I scuttle back deeper into the shadows of the chair. For a moment, I think that I am going to be caught, but the servant is the one to pick up the blade, and his gaze does not waver.
Balekin cracks his staff against the back of Cardan's legs, sending him to the ground.
I am delighted. There's a part of me that wishes I were the one wielding that staff.
“Don't bother to rise.” Balekin unbuckles his belt and hands it over to the servant. The human man wraps it twice around his palm. “You have failed the test. Again.”
Cardan doesn't speak. His eyes are glittering with a familiar rage, but for once it isn't directed at me. He's on his knees, but he doesn't appear in any way cowed.
“Tell me.” Balekin's voice has gone silky, and he paces around his younger brother. “When will you cease being a disappointment?”
“Maybe when you stop pretending that you don't do this for your own pleasure,” Cardan answers. “If you want to hurt me, it would save us both a lot of time if you got right down toâ”
“Father was old and his seed weak when he sired you. That's why you're weak.” Balekin puts one hand on his brother's neck. It looks affectionate, until I see Cardan's flinch, the shifting of his balance. That's when I realize Balekin is pressing down hard, pinning Cardan in place on the floor. “Now, take off your shirt and receive your punishment.”
Cardan begins to strip off his shirt, showing an expanse of moon-pale skin and a back with a delicate tracery of faded scars.
My stomach lurches. They're going to beat him.
I should be glorying in seeing Cardan like this. I should be glad that his life sucks, maybe worse than mine, even though he's a prince of Faerie and a horrible jerk and probably going to live forever. If someone had told me that I'd get an opportunity to see this, I would have thought the only thing I'd have to stifle was applause.
But watching, I cannot help observing that beneath his defiance is fear. I know what it is to say the clever thing because you don't want anyone to know how scared you are. It doesn't make me like him any better, but for the first time he seems real. Not good, but real.
Balekin nods. The servant strikes twice, the slap of the leather echoing loudly in the still air of the room.
“I don't order this because I am angry with you, brother,” Balekin tells Cardan, causing me to shudder. “I do it because I love you. I do it because I love our family.”
When the servant lifts his arm to strike a third time, Cardan lunges for his blade, resting on Balekin's desk where the servant put it. For a moment, I think Cardan is going to run the human man straight through.
The servant does not cry out or lift his hands to protect himself. Maybe he is too ensorcelled for that. Maybe Cardan could stab him right through the heart and he wouldn't do a single thing to defend himself. I am weak with horror.
“Go ahead,” Balekin says, bored. He makes a vague gesture toward the servant. “Kill him. Show me you don't mind making a mess. Show me that at least you know how to land a killing blow on such a pathetic target as this.”
“I am no murderer,” says Cardan, surprising me. I would not have thought that was something to be proud of.
In two strides, Balekin is in front of his brother. They look so alike, standing close. Same inky hair, matching sneers, devouring eyes. But Balekin shows his decades of experience, wrenching the sword from Cardan's hands and knocking him to the ground with the crossbar.
“Then take your punishment like the pathetic creature that you are.” Balekin nods to the servant, who rouses from somnolence.
I watch every blow, every flinch. I have little choice. I can shut my eyes, but the sounds are just as terrible. And worst of all is Cardan's empty face, his eyes as dull as lead.
Truly, he has come by his cruelty honestly in Balekin's care. He has been raised up in it, instructed in its nuances, honed through its application. However horrible Cardan might be, I now see what he might become and am truly afraid.
D
isturbingly, it is even easier to gain entrance to the Palace of Elfhame in my servant's gown than it was to enter Balekin's household. Everyone, from goblin to the Gentry to the High King's mortal Court Poet and Seneschal, barely gives me a passing look as I find my clumsy way through the labyrinthine halls. I am nothing, no one, a messenger no more worthy of attention than an animated twig woman or an owl. My pleasant, placid expression, combined with forward momentum, gets me to Prince Dain's chambers without so much as a second look, even though I lose my way twice and have to retrace my steps.
I rap on his door and am relieved when the prince himself opens it.
He raises both brows, taking in the sight of me in the homespun dress. I make a formal curtsy, as any servant might. I do not alter my expression, for fear of his not being alone. “Yes?” he asks.
“I am here with a message for you, Your Highness,” I say, hoping that sounds right. “I beg for a moment of your time.”
“You're a natural,” he tells me, grinning. “Come inside.”
It's a relief to relax my face. I drop the inane smile as I follow him into his parlor.
Furnished in elaborate velvets, silks, and brocades, it's a riot of scarlet and deep blues and greens, everything rich and dark, like overripe fruit. The patterns on the material are the sorts of things I have become accustomed toâintricate braids of briars, leaves that might also be spiders when you looked at them from another angle, and a depiction of a hunt where it is unclear which of the creatures is hunting the other.
I sigh and sit down in the chair he is pointing me toward, fumbling in my pocket.
“Here,” I say, drawing out the folded-up note and smoothing it against the top of a cunning little table with carved bird feet for legs. “He came in while I was copying it, so it's kind of a mess.” I had left the stolen book with the toad; the last thing I want Prince Dain to know is that I took something for myself.
Dain squints to see the shapes of the letters past my smudges. “And he didn't see you?”
“He was distracted,” I say truthfully. “I hid.”
He nods and rings a small bell, probably to summon a servant. I will be glad of anyone not ensorcelled. “Good. And did you enjoy it?”
I am not sure what to make of that question. I was frightened pretty much the whole timeâhow is that enjoyable? But the longer I think about it, the more I realize that I
did
sort of enjoy it. Most of my life is dreadful anticipation, a waiting for the other shoe to dropâat home, in classes, with the Court. Being afraid I would be caught spying was an entirely new sensation, one where I felt, at least, as though I knew exactly what to be scared of. I knew what it would take to win. Sneaking through Balekin's house had been less frightening than some revels.
At least until I'd watched Cardan get beaten. Then I'd felt something I don't want to examine too closely.
“I liked doing a good job,” I say, finally finding an honest answer.
That makes Dain nod. He's about to tell me something else when another faerie enters the room. A male goblin, scarred, his skin the green of ponds. His nose is long and twists fully around, before bending back toward his face like a scythe. His hair is a black tuft at the very crown of his head. His eyes are unreadable. He blinks several times, as though trying to focus on me.
“They call me the Roach,” he says, his voice melodious, completely at odds with his face. He bows and then cocks the side of his head toward Dain. “At his service. I guess we both are. You're the new girl, right?”
I nod. “Am I supposed to tell you my name, or am I supposed to come up with something clever?”
The Roach grins, which twists his whole face up even more hideously. “I am supposed to take you to meet the troupe. And don't worry about what we're going to call you. We decide that for ourselves. You think anyone in their right mind would want to be called the Roach?”
“Great,” I say, and sigh.
He gives me a long look. “Yeah, I can see how that's a real talent. Not having to say what you mean.”
He's dressed in an imitation of a court doublet, except his doublet is made from scraps of leather. I wonder what Madoc would say if he knew where I was and with whom. I do not think he would be pleased.
I don't think he'd be pleased by anything I did today. Soldiers have a peculiar kind of honor, even those who dip their caps in the blood of their enemies. Sneaking around houses and stealing papers is not at all in line with it. Even though Madoc has spies of his own, I don't think he'd like my being one.
“So he's been blackmailing Queen Orlagh,” Dain says, and the Roach and I look over at him.
Prince Dain is frowning over the letter, and suddenly I understandâ
he recognizes my copy of the handwriting. Nicasia's mother, Queen Orlagh, must be the woman who obtained poison for Balekin. She wrote that she was repaying a debt, although knowing Nicasia, I would guess a little nastiness wouldn't give her mother much pause. But the Queen of the Undersea's kingdom is vast and mighty. It is hard to imagine what Balekin could have over her.
Dain hands my letter to the Roach. “So do you still believe he will use it before the coronation?”
The goblin's nose quivers. “That's the smart move. Once the crown is on your head, nothing's going to get it off.”
Until that moment, I hadn't been sure whom the poison was for. I open my mouth and then bite the side of my cheek to stop myself from saying something foolish. Of course it must be for Prince Dain. Whom else would Balekin need some special poison to kill? If he were going to put regular people to death, he'd probably use some kind of cheap, regular-person poison.
Dain seems to notice my surprise. “We have never gotten along, my brother and I. He has always been too ambitious for that. And yet I had hoped⦔ He waves his hand around, dismissing whatever he was about to say. “Poison may be a coward's weapon, but it is an effective one.”
“What about Princess Elowyn?” I ask, and then wish I could take back the question. Poison for her, too, probably. Queen Orlagh must have a cartload of it.
This time, Dain doesn't answer me.
“Maybe Balekin plans on marrying her,” the Roach says, surprising us both. At our expressions, he shrugs. “What? If he makes things too obvious, he's going to be the next one to get a knife in the back. And he wouldn't be the first member of the Gentry to wed a sister.”
“If he marries her,” Dain says, laughing for the first time in this conversation, “he'll get a knife in the front.”
I had always thought of Elowyn as the gentle sister. Again, I am aware of how little I really know about the world I am trying to navigate.
“Come,” says the Roach, waving me to my feet. “It's time you met the others.”
I cast a plaintive look in Dain's direction. I don't want to go with the Roach, whom I have just met and whom I am not at all sure I trust. Even I, who have grown up in the house of a redcap, fear goblins.
“Before you go.” Dain walks over until he's standing directly in front of me. “I promised that none might compel you, save for me. I am afraid I am going to have to use that power. Jude Duarte, I forbid you from speaking aloud about your service to me. I forbid you from putting it into writing or into song. You will never tell anyone of the Roach. You will never tell anyone of any of my spies. You will never reveal their secrets, their meeting places, their safe houses. So long as I live, you will obey this.”
I am wearing my necklace of rowan berries, but they are no protection against the magic of the geas. This is no regular glamour, no simple sorcery.
The weight of the geas slams down on me, and I know that if I tried to speak, my mouth wouldn't be able to form those forbidden words. I hate it. It's an awful, out-of-control feeling. It makes me scramble around in my head, trying to imagine my way around his commandment, but I cannot.
I think of my first ride to Faerie and the sound of Taryn and Vivi wailing. I think of Madoc's grim expression, jaw locked, doubtlessly unused to children, no less human ones. His ears must have been ringing. He must have wanted us to shut up. It's hard to think anything good about Madoc in that moment, with our parents' heartsblood on his hands. But I will say this for himâhe never enchanted away our grief or took our voices. He never did any of the things that might have made the trip easier for him.
I try to convince myself that Prince Dain is only doing the smart thing, the necessary thing, in binding me. But it makes my skin crawl.
For a moment, I am unsure of my decision to serve him.
“Oh,” Dain says as I am about to leave. “One more thing. Do you know what mithridatism is?”
I shake my head, not sure I am interested in anything he has to say right now.
“Look into it.” He smiles. “That's not a command, only a sug- gestion.”
I follow the Roach through the palace, keeping back from him a few steps so it doesn't seem like we're together. We pass a general Madoc knows, and I make sure to keep my head bowed. I don't think he would look closely enough to recognize me, but I cannot be sure.
“Where are we going?” I whisper after several minutes of walking through the halls.
“Just a little farther,” he says gruffly, opening a cupboard and climbing inside. His eyes reflect orange, like a bear's. “Well, come on, get in and close the door.”
“I can't see in the dark,” I remind him, because that is one of the many things the Folk never remember about us.
He grunts.
I get in, folding myself up tightly so that no part of me touches him, and then I close the cabinet door behind me. I hear the slide of wood and feel the rush of cold, damp air. The scent of wet stone fills the space.
His hand on my arm is careful, but I can feel his claws. I let him pull me forward, allow him to press my head so I know when to duck. When I straighten out, I am on a narrow platform above what appears to be the palace's wine cellars.
My eyes are still adjusting, but from what I can see, there is a network of passageways worming below the palace. I wonder how many people know about them. I smile at the thought of having a secret about this place. Me, of all people.
I wonder if Madoc knows.
I bet Cardan doesn't.
I grin, wider than before.
“Enough gawping?” the Roach asks. “I can wait.”
“Are you ready to tell me anything?” I ask him. “Like, where we're going or what's going to happen when we get there?”
“Figure it out,” he says, the growl in his voice. “Go on.”
“You said we were going to meet the others,” I tell him, starting with what I know, trying to keep up and avoid stumbling on the uneven ground. “And Prince Dain made me promise not to reveal any hidden locations, so obviously we're going to your lair. But that doesn't tell me what we're going to do when we get there.”
“Maybe we're going to show you secret handshakes,” the Roach says. He's doing something I can't quite see, but a moment later, I hear a clickâas though a lock was tripped or a trap disarmed. A gentle shove against the small of my back and I am heading down a new, even more dimly lit tunnel.
I know when we come to a door because I walk straight into it, much to the Roach's amusement. “You really can't see,” he says.
I rub my forehead. “I told you I couldn't!”
“Yes, but you're the liar,” he reminds me. “I'm not supposed to believe anything you say.”
“Why would I lie about something like that?” I demand, still annoyed.
He lets my question hang in the air. The answer is obviousâso I could retrace my steps. So he might accidentally show me something he wouldn't show someone else. So that he would be incautious.
I really need to stop asking stupid questions.
And maybe he really needs to be less paranoid, since Dain put a geas on me so I can't tell anyone no matter what.
The Roach opens the door, and light floods the hallway, causing me to throw my arm up in front of my face. Blinking, I look into the secret lair of Prince Dain's spies. It's packed earth on all four sides, with walls that curve inward and a rounded ceiling. A large table dominates the room, and sitting at it are two faeries I've never metâboth of them gazing at me unhappily.