The Dance of Reality: A Psychomagical Autobiography (53 page)

Mr. Absent Father

Unconscious Street

City of Myself

Universal Consciousness

I wrote the letter and put it in the mail with several stamps on it and no return address. I cried, feeling rage invade me, burning the inside of my chest. But then I was overtaken by a peace that I had never felt before. The following week, to my immense surprise, the mailman deposited the letter I had sent in my mailbox. How did the post office know that I had sent it? Certainly not from the postmark on the stamps, because I did not mail it in my neighborhood; I do not believe in miracles, there must be some mysterious explanation. But I remember that in one of your lectures, you told this story: a student asked the great mystic Ramakrishna, “If I throw a stone into the infinite, where does it land?” The enlightened man replied, “It lands in your hand.” In any case, I sincerely thank you for this act, which has led me to make progress. Especially because something has happened that seems related to that letter: without any inquiry on my part, an association has offered me a job as a teacher in a poor neighborhood. They use very comprehensive methods in which the parents, who are skillfully advised by pediatricians, heal their relationships with their children.

10. THE FALSE INVALID

To see yourself, you must realize how others see you. The essential being is imprisoned in a psychological cage built from others’ gazes.

My first sexual experience was traumatic. I immediately got pregnant and secretly had an abortion. I was ill for several months. From then on, I only met men who did not function well sexually. I was married for twenty years to a premature ejaculator. I asked you what to do. You answered: “You must understand that these men are prisoners of their egotism and none of them have seen you as you feel yourself to be. Because of your sensual appearance, they think you are a passionate woman, when in fact you are living as a sexual invalid. We must do everything possible to make them see you as you really are. I advise you to have someone push you around public places in a wheelchair for six days in a row. The daily ride should last six hours.” The next day I found the specialized store where I could rent the chair, and a friend agreed to come. As soon as she wheeled me out into the street I burst into tears, I felt ashamed, I felt like a living corpse exposed to the eyes of the whole world. Although it was a hot day, my legs went numb, and the fatigue of more than twenty years of hopeless fighting fell down upon me. I saw my reflection in a shop window. That was me, that woman dressed in black, cowering there. I became aware of the self-flagellation that has been my life. I almost went mad with anger, then became grateful for this opportunity to plunge into the reality of my feelings, to come out on the other side of my frustration. The next day I dressed as seductively as possible. We went to have lunch at an Indian restaurant, but I could not get through to the dining rooms. Two young men, with big smiles, carried me in my wheelchair. I made no effort to hide the satisfaction on my face. I have lost the fear of desiring and being desired. After six days, I had expelled twenty years of fears, stagnant desires, and scorned sexuality. I decided to treat the gazes of men as complicit sexuality. When I returned the wheelchair I was filled with joy and also sadness for the woman who, in her denial of existence, had immobilized herself. For the first time, I felt that I was advancing toward life.

Footnotes

*1
The Chilean term for an individual from the poorest class, who was usually illiterate.

*2
Mantra of the Heart Sutra.

*3
A Chinese game related to dominoes, which uses 144 wooden tiles.

*4
[Dictator of Chile from 1973 to 1990 —
Ed.
]

*5
Premises or room where zazen, Zen Buddhist meditation, is practiced.

*6
Sectarian movement founded by the author Lafayette Ronald Hubbard.

*7
Elephant trainer.

*8
Sacred Mapuche festival.

*9
[
Partido Revolu
cionario Institucional,
the Institutional Revolutionary Party, which held power in Mexico prior to Fox’s victory. —
Trans.
]

About Jodorowsky and
The Dance of Reality
Film

Alejandro Jodorowsky
was born in Tocopilla, Chile, in 1929. During his career as tarologist, therapist, author, actor, theatrical director, and director of cult films (
El Topo, The Holy Mountain,
and
Santa Sangre
) he developed psychomagic and psychogenealogy, two new therapeutic techniques that have revolutionized psychotherapy in many countries. Psychogenealogy served as the background for his novel
Donde mejor canta un pájaro
(Where a Bird Sings Better), and psychomagic was used by Jodorowsky in the novel
El niño del jueves negro
(Black Thursday’s Child). Both of these techniques are discussed and explored in his book
Psicomagia
(
Psychomagic
), in his autobiography
La danza de realidad
(
The Dance of Reality
), and in
Métagénéalogie: L’arbre généalogie comme art, thérapie et quète de Soi
(
Metagenealogy:
Self-Discovery through Psychomagic and the Family Tree
), written with Marianne Costa
.
He has also written two books on the therapeutic application of the Tarot:
La vía del Tarot
(
The Way of Tarot
), written with Marianne Costa, and
Yo, el Tarot
(I, the Tarot).

The Dance of Reality,
his first film since the 1990 release of
The Rainbow Thief,
was written, produced, and directed by Jodorowsky. An autobiographical film, it was shot in Chile in his childhood village of Tocopilla as well as Santiago and other southern Chile locations, with cameo appearances by the author throughout the film.

The film was shown at the 2013 Cannes Film Festival and received rave reviews.
The Dance of Reality
will have its U.S. preview in 2014 at the South by Southwest Film Festival, its premiere in New York City, and will be shown in select cities throughout the United States.

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Inner Traditions
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Copyright © 2001 by Alejandro Jodorowsky

English translation copyright © 2014 by Inner Traditions International

Originally published in Spanish under the title
La danza de la realidad: Psicomagia y psicochamanismo
by Ediciones Siruela

First U.S. edition published in 2014 by Park Street Press

Color insert images copyright © “Le Soleil Films” Chile • “Camera One” France 2013 • Pathe • Courtesy of ABKCO La Danza, LLC

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Jodorowsky, Alejandro, author.

    [Danza de la realidad. Spanish]

   A psychomagical autobiography / Alejandro Jodorowsky; translated by Ariel Godwin.

        pages cm

    Includes index.

    print ISBN 978-1-62055-281-0

    ebook ISBN: 978-1-62055-282-7

  1. Jodorowsky, Alejandro. 2. Authors, Chilean—20th century—Biography.     3. Motion picture producers and directors—Chile—Biography. 4. Theatrical producers and directors—Chile—Biography. 5. Actors—Chile—Biography.

I. Godwin, Ariel, translator. II. Title.

    PQ7298.2.O3Z46 2014

    868'.6409—dc23

    [B]

2014004218

Index

All page number are refer to the print edition of this title.

Page numbers in
italics
indicate photos.

Aldunate, Lora (magic mirror owner), 238
Almagro, Diego de, 33–34
anti-Semitism, 46–47, 52
Arrabal, Fernando,
164
, 189

Bachelard, Gaston (philosopher), 243
Benoit, Jean (sculptor), 243
Bernardo (cousin), 89–90
Breton, André, 172–73, 200, 243–44

Canseliet, Eugène, 214
Carrot Clown, 146, 147, 149, 150
Castaneda, Carlos, 262–65
Cereceda, Carmen, 90
Cereceda, Veronica, 90–93
charlatans, 293–302, 316
Chevalier, Maurice, 177–78
childhood in Tocopilla, 1–31
    booger elephant created, 22–23
    charity discovered, 7–8
    consciousness imagined in all things, 12
    death wondered about, 23–27
    disappearance by magic, 31–32
    holes in his socks, 28
    learning to read early, 2
    lion cub, 3, 4, 146
    loneliness suffered, 19–21
    long hair cut off, 27–28, plate 2
    love of theater fostered, 130–36
    mocked by classmates, 2–3
    move to Santiago, 30–31, 32
    Pinocchio nickname, 2
    Rebbe as advisor, 11–12, 20–21, plate 11
    red shoes and Carlitos’s death, 9–11
    sardines and seagulls, 4, 7–8, plate 4
    scratching Gadfly’s back, 8
    shame about penis, 20
    suicide attempt, 16, 18
    tooth fixed, no anesthesia, 17–18,
        plate 5
    visit to maternal grandmother, 21–23
    words sweetened by Moishe, 14
   
See also
Jodorowsky, Jaime
Claude, Jean (doctor), 303
Confucius, dream encounter with,
    212–13
Consuelo (de-virginized woman),
    144–45
Costa, Marianne,
209
, 385
Cristina (maid in Tocopilla), 214,
    236–37
Cuauhtémoc, Brother.
See
Pachita

Dance of Reality, The
(film), plates 1–12
death
    childhood curiosity about, 23–27
    as a disease, 354
    fear of dying, 170–71
    “Intellectual, learn to die!,” 198, 215
    lucid dreaming of the dead, 205–11
    patients’ desire for, 285–87, 349
    of son Teo, 172, 208
Decroux, Ettienne, 173–75
Díaz, Stella (poet), 96–109
Donoso, José (novelist), 168
dreams.
See
lucid dreaming

ego, proper attitude toward, 243
El Topo
(film), 194,
195
Emilfork, Daniel (actor), 161–63,
164
Enrique (folk magic healer), 277, 278,
        285, 291–93.
See also
Pachita
ephemeral panics,
184–85, 188, 190
–
       
92, 209
    with Arrabal and Topor, 189–94
    early spectacles in Mexico, 182–83, 186
    on Mexican TV,
184–85
, 186–89
    theory of, 193–94
Ernesto, Don (healer), 296–97

family tree, healing.
See
psychomagic
Farcet, Gilles (interviewer), 333
Faz, Carlos (poet), 240
Fierro, Francisco (painter), 266
First Company of Firemen, 130–33,
132
Flores, Alejandro (actor), 153–60,
155
Frégoli, Leopoldo (actor), 129
Fromm, Erich, and disciples, 244–47
Fu-Manchu (Mexican magician),
        31–32, 129
Furious, the (painter), 176

Gloria (healer), 295–96
Griffy, Tinny (performer), 129
Groddeck, Georg (writer), 336
Gross, Saúl (sister’s husband), 55–56, 59
Gurdjieff (teacher), 243

Hervey de Saint-Denys, 200–201
holiness, civil, 142–45
Holy Mountain, The
, 215–18, 251–52, 266
Ichazo, Óscar (teacher), 252–62,
255
initiatory massage
    beginnings of, 224, 229
    death of son’s mother and, 361
    experimental techniques, 367
    on feet, 366–67
    man trapped by train and, 360
    massager/client dynamic and, 367–68
    massaging a rock, 227–29
    massaging the bones, 361–62
    opening the body, 362
    phantom body and, 368–70
    scraping away the past, 359–60, 361
    stretching the skin, 361

Jashe (grandmother), 21–23, 27, 37, 88, 89
Jesus Christ, 212–13, 225
Jodorowsky, Adan (son),
209
, 303
Jodorowsky, Alejandro,
6, 115, 132,
        148, 164, 179, 181, 184–85, 188,
        190–92, 195, 209, 245, 310, 377,
        383
    bird man met, 223–24
    birth of, 1
    Breton and, 172–73, 200, 243–44
    Castaneda met by, 262–65
    Chevalier helped, 177–78
    conception of, 53
    death of son Teo, 172
    with Decroux, 173–75
    ephemeral panics, 182–94
    films by, 194,
195
, 215–18, 251–52,
        266, plates 1–12
    first months in Paris, 173
    with Fromm and disciples, 244–47
    hair cut by Julien, 176–77
    haunted by fear of dying, 170–71
    with Ichazo, 252–62
    initiatory massage, 224, 227–29
    LSD experience of, 256–61, 268
    with Marceau, 175–76, 178, 180
    in Mexico, 178, 180–89
    mushroom experience of, 266–68
    with Pachita, 269, 270–91
    painting the Furious’s house, 176
    seven-day Zen meditation, 196–98
    Tarot reading sessions, 303–5
    as theatrical advisor, 194–95
    touching sacred symbols, 225–27
    as unwanted child, 50–52
    See also
childhood in Tocopilla; lucid
        dreaming; youth in Santiago
Jodorowsky, Alejandro (grandfather),
        11, 23–24, 50–51
Jodorowsky, Axel Cristóbal (son),
179,
        209
, 222–23, 328–29
Jodorowsky, Benjamin (uncle), 37, 51
Jodorowsky, Brontis (son),
179
, 207,
       
209
, 361
Jodorowsky, Denisse (first wife), 207–8
Jodorowsky, Eugenia (daughter),
        291–93
Jodorowsky, Jaime (father),
29
    adultery by, 166
    Alejandro not wanted by, 50–52
    anger after house burned, 165–66
    arts despised by, 41–42
    business competition by, 14–16
    childhood of, 37
    circus career, 3, 146
    cleaning banknotes, 42–43
    cowardice hated by, 44, 51, 81
    Cristina criticized by, 236–37
    disappointment in his father, 50–51, 54
    dream therapy with, 221–22
    on giving away the red shoes, 10
    God denied by, 26–27
    at in-laws’ golden anniversary, 88, 89
    name taken by, 158
    Rebbe pushed on Alejandro by, 11
    Santiago shop of, 38, 39–40
    scabs peeled by, 18–19
    on scratching Gadfly’s back, 8
    small penis of, 44–46
    Stalin mimicked by, 14
    stamp collecting by, 18
    teaching author to conquer pain,
        16–18
    toys denied by, 12
    worms emptied on bed of, 81–82
Jodorowsky, Raquel (sister), 50, 53–60,
    '
57
, 80, 208
Jodorowsky, Sara (mother),
29
    Alejandro’s long hair loved by, 27
    author’s letter to, 210–11
    childhood of, 37
    corset set free, 166–68
    Jaime’s discipline supported by, 28, 81
    not a virgin at marriage, 52
    at parents’ golden anniversary, 88
    red shoes bought by, 9
    seen dying in dream, 208
    sleeping with hand on Jaime’s penis, 45
    socks mended by, 28
    violin obtained by, 40–41
    worms emptied on bed of, 81–82
Jodorowsky, Teo (son), 172, 208
Jodorowsky, Teresa (grandmother), 207
Joos, Kurt (choreographer), 137
Jung, Carl, 212

Kath
center, 259–60, 267

Landru, Bernadette (wife), 206–7, 361
Lefevre, Marie, 239–40
Lemaire, Catherine, 368
Lettuce Clown, 147
Lihn, Enrique (poet friend),
115
    author’s first meeting with, 114, 116
    carnival inspired by, 168
    dance recital suggested by, 140
    poetic acts with, 117–26
    seen in dream, 208
lions, 3, 4, 146, 201–2, 267
lucid dreaming
    accepting and receiving in, 229–30
    author’s method, 201
    author’s study of dreams, 200–201
    becoming his own therapist, 221–23
    bird man parallels with, 223–25
    caring for others, 223
    decision to change the dreamer, 220
    first experience, 199–200
    initiatory phase, 202–5
    lucid witnessing learned, 220–21, 231
    Parra met in a dream, 242
    power dreams, 230–31
    power of touch in, 223, 224–25
    in the realm of myths, 211–14
    in the realm of the dead, 205–11
    results match the dreamer, 219
    seeing his inner god, 214–15, 218–20
    shared therapeutic dreams, 235
    timing and order of, 205
    treating reality as a dream, 231–35
Lucsic, Yerca (dance instructor),
        139–40
Luz (angel girlfriend), 110–12

machis, 282, 355, 356–58
magic
    charlatans, 293–302
    Cristina’s air sculpture, 237
    Fu-Manchu makes him disappear,
        31–32
    Lefevre’s Tarot readings, 240
    Molina and the magic mirror, 238–39
    witchcraft objects of F. S., 269–70
   
See also
psychomagic; shamanism
Maimonides (Talmud master), 284
Maitreya, dream encounter with,
        212–13
Marceau, Marcel, 173–76, 178, 180
Martinez, Don Arnulfo (healer),
        294–95
Mattei, Eduardo or Frater Maurus, 142
Moctezuma, Juan López (TV host),
        186, 189
Moebius (comic artist), 364–66
Moishe (grandfather), 14, 21, 22, 23,
        88, 89
Molina, Chico (polyglot and liar),
        238–39
Morgan, the gringo, 24–26
Moses, 212–13, 230

names, significance of
    Avenida Providencia, 116
    changing one’s name, 158
    Diego de Almagro plaza, 33–34
    exalting one’s own name, 157–59
    father-daughter incest and, 349
    Jaime, 158
    psychomagic for, 332, 335, 392
    Tocopilla, 1–2, 219–20
Neruda, Pablo (poet), 87, 95, 124–25, 238

Opéra Panique cast,
209
Oth
center, 260–61, 267

Pachita (folk magic healer), 270–91,
271
    author healed by, 282–84
    baldness cure of, 287–88
    Brother respected more than, 275–76
    charitable purpose of, 279–80
    concerns about meeting, 269, 270–71
    daughter Eugenia and Enrique,
        291–93
    death without obedience to, 280–81
    dream visit from, 291
    eye within triangle from, 273–74
    first meeting with, 272–74
    gift passed to Enrique, 291
    money problems cured by, 288–89
    operations by, 274–82
    patients who want to die and, 285–87
    psychomagic ideas from, 281, 289–91
    touch of, 273, 287
    unbelievable statements by, 278
Pacifier Clown, 147, 148, 149, 152
Parra, Nicanor, 95, 96, 100–101,
10
2,
        240–42
paternal great grand-parents,
13
Path center, 261, 267
phantom limbs, 368–70
Piripipí Clown, 147, 150–53
poetic acts, 117–27
    carnival inspired, 168–69
    clown shoes, 146
    corrections to errors, 123–24
    criminal acts and, 140
    defined, 117, 122–23
    errors in, 121–22
    haiku illustrating, 123
    before leaving Santiago, 125–27
    with Lihn, 117–26
    for Neruda, 124–25
    Sara’s corset set free, 166–68
    Stella as the impetus for, 97
    at studio parties, 113–14
poetry
    author’s, 42, 46–47, 91, 107, 384
    Chile permeated by, 86–88
    discovery of, 41–42
    Ejo Takata’s, 304–5
    haiku illustrating poetic acts, 123
    Parra’s anti-poems, 95
    read for Pachita, 274
    Stella’s, 99
    unity attained with Chilean, 73–74
Prince (Chinese singer), 135–36
Prullansky, Alejandro (grandfather),
        27, 65
psychogenealogy, 310–11
psychomagic
    basis in the subconscious, 333
    beginnings of, 180, 182
    changing Mexico, 346–47
    charlatan’s methods vs., 316,
        319–20
    clients unable participate in, 350–54
    courses taught in, 333
    decision to induce acts, 312
    defensive mechanisms and, 351–54
    for depression, 344–45, 386
    for divorced women, 332
    dramatizations to heal a family,
        311–13
    examples of acts, 385–92
    for fears and anxieties, 334, 336
    for female frigidity, 334
    for finding a lover, 330–31
    ideas from Pachita, 281, 289–91
    imitating desired qualities, 344
    individuality of treatments, 319–20
    for invasive mother, 329–30
    Mystical Cabaret, 327
    for names, 332, 335, 392
    need for parental love and, 349–50
    for parental abuse/neglect, 331–34,
        389–91
    for perfectionism, 342–44
    for physical illnesses, 324–26
    for “possessed” persons, 334–35
    psychogenealogy, 310–11
    relieving guilt, 331, 341–42
    requirements for, 312–14, 348–49
    responsibility of, 320
    role playing before parents, 327–28
    roots in family tree, 305–10, 335–36
    rules for advised acts, 327
    for self-worth, 330, 340–41, 385–87,
        391
    sexual acts in, 322–24, 336–37
    shifting images, 340–42
    small acts prescribed for safety,
        320–22
    for social neuroses, 345–46
    with son Axel Cristóbal, 328–29
    for suppressed feelings, 332
    time saved by, 348
    touching a woman’s chest, 314–16
    undoing predictions, 337–40
    unexpected synchronicities in,
        316–19
  
 See also
psychoshamanism
psychomagical correspondence, 393–402
    chewing on hair, 397–98
    getting past prostitution, 399–400
    giving partial fulfillment, 397
    lesbian attraction to mother, 398–99
    letter to absent parent, 400–401
    the lost color red, 395–96
    milk bath for the eyes, 396
    sexual invalid, 401–2
    stealing to heal the heart, 393–94
    symbolic conversation, 394–95
psychoshamanism,
377
    for boy in coma, 362–64
    bypassing defenses and fears, 380–81
    defenses and the need for, 351–54
    examples of, 372–80
    healer’s state during, 380
    imagination in, 382, 384
    magical setting for, 371
    for Moebius, 364–66
    operating in another’s name, 370–71
    operating on the phantom body, 371–72
    power of the “now” in, 380, 381–82
    superstition eliminated from, 370
    for woman abused by priest, 358–59
  
 See also
initiatory massage;
        psychomagic
puppets
    changes due to, 93–95
    of family members, 93, 94
    learning to make, 92–93
    making after Stella, 110
    of Nicanor Parra, 96
    of Racz, 111–12
    Roncal’s dance, 138–39
    show of Lorca play, 125
    TEUCH puppet theater, 140–42
    TEUC puppet theater, 153