The Darkest Dream (The Darkest Trilogy) (8 page)

Unwillingly, an image of the sad, broken girl flittered across my mind but I cast it away.
 
That girl was gone, I told myself.
 
I was an adult now.
 
I’d buried my mother, my father, and now my best friend was gone, too.
 
I
knew
death.
 
I could handle that.

“But it’s not just death, now.
 
It’s a completely different world coming to life right in front of your eyes.”
 

“A world full of death.”
 
It took me a long moment to realize how near to me he was—so near I could smell faint traces of his soap, mingled with that comforting scent of rain once more.
 
Strange, I thought, because there hadn’t been a cloud in sight.
 
“I’m not afraid of death anymore.”
  

My voice was calm as I avoided his eyes—not because I was lying, but because I was telling the truth, and the realization hit me like a wave.
 

There was nothing frightening about the concept now whatsoever.
 

“Maybe you should be.”
 
Our faces were barely inches apart when I finally shifted my gaze upward.
 

“Maybe there’s a reason I’m not.”
 
I wasn’t entirely sure what I was getting at—though, deep down, I had an idea.
 
The idea that perhaps it was fate—
my
fate—to be here, now, in this moment, with this man.
 

Perhaps I was meant to be here for a reason.
 

Wasn’t that how I felt?
 
Wasn’t that what every fiber of my being was telling me?
 
I was here for a reason—maybe I wasn’t sure what that reason was just yet, but I
felt
it.

I belonged here, in this world of darkness.
 
It had always been there, reaching out for me.

For a moment, I finally lost myself in his eyes.
 
The world around me faded away and I was aware of only myself and Darren—the proximity of his lips, the intensity of his gaze.
 
I forgot about everything that had happened and instead found myself wondering what it would feel like to touch my lips to his—to know his embrace.
 

Briefly, I even wondered what it might be like to live out an eternity at his side.
 

And, as if caught in the same trance, his lips seemed to be lowering to meet mine.
 

My eyes fluttered closed ever-so-softly as they grew nearer—and then, abruptly, I was aware of him backing away, the air suddenly changing.
 
I opened my eyes to see his back as he turned from me, his eyes trained on the floor.
 

“You should eat.”
 
His voice brought me back to reality and I was suddenly very ashamed of myself.
 
How, at a time like this, could I be thinking such things?
 
My cheeks reddened and I looked away, down toward the kitchen.
 
“I’ll make something for you.”
 

And he was gone almost instantly.
 
I heard cupboards opening in the kitchen and took a few moments to take a deep breath and calm myself before I followed in the direction he’d gone.

I sat down at the table, careful to avoid looking in his direction as he stood near the counter.
 
“So, what
do
you eat?”
 
I asked before I could stop myself.
 
As soon as the words left my mouth, I wished I could take them back—but as I couldn’t, I instead stared at my folded hands, purposely avoiding any possibility of eye contact.
 

“You mean
,
do I still eat people?”
 
I tried not to flinch at his voice.
 
“There are other ways of getting blood.
 
It doesn’t have to be from the source.”
 
I nodded, though I knew he wasn’t looking at me, feeling stupid for even asking.
 

“Look,
”
 
he
sighed and I noticed out of the corner of my eye that he had turned to face me.
 
“I’m sorry I’m being so relentless about all of this, but I want to make sure you understand what’s going on:
 
This is not a fairytale, Lucinda.
 
This is
very
real, and it’s even more dangerous.”
 
He paused for a moment, taking a breath.
 
“
I
am a vampire.
 
I drink blood.
 
Even the faintest glimmer of sunlight burns my flesh, and I can’t go near silver.
 
This is
real
.”
 

“I get that.”
 
I told him, turning now to look at him.
 
“It’s just…”
 
But I didn’t finish my sentence, because I wasn’t sure how to say it aloud.
 
How could I explain to him that none of this felt shocking to me?
 
Or that, for some reason unbeknownst to me, I felt like I was
exactly
where I was supposed to be?
 

“I imagine it takes a lot of getting used to.”
 
Darren said, though when his eyes met mine, I found they were unreadable.
 
He turned at the sound of a toaster popping and began to prepare something that I couldn’t see.
 
“Why don’t you tell me a little about yourself?”
 
he
asked.

“There isn’t much to tell.”
 
I told him.

“I find that hard to believe.”
 
I shrugged, my mind going blank.
 
“You go to school, don’t you?
 
You said you were seventeen.”
 
I nodded.

“It’s my last year.
 
Phe
and I—
”
 
I
broke off then, a sudden pain in my chest.
 
I cleared my throat and swallowed deeply.
 
“We were supposed to be going to L.A. after graduation.
 
Getting an apartment, going to college.”
 
I eyed the table attentively.
 
“I…I don’t know what I’ll do now.”
 
He placed a plate in front of me.
 
“That’s if I ever get out of here.”

“I’ll figure something out, Lucinda.
 
I promise.
 
Demetrius isn’t going to get away with what he’s done.”
 
The look in his eye told me that Demetrius’ crimes were more than the most recent, and I didn’t doubt him for a minute.
 
Sighing, I glanced down at the meal that had just been placed in front of me.
 
“It’s peanut butter and jelly on toast.
 
You should eat it while it’s warm.
 
I hear it’s delicious.”

“I know,
”
 
I
paused.
 
“I haven’t had this in ages.
 
My mom used to make it for me.
 
It was my favorite.”
 
It only took moments for me to devour the sandwich, realizing at once how hungry I was.
 
“Thank you,
”
 
I
said, staring at the plate.
 

“I can make another—”

“No, no—that’s all right.
 
One is enough for right now.”
 
I glanced toward the man leaning against the kitchen counter, his arms crossed casually over his chest.
 
“I noticed you paint.”

“Something to pass the time.”
 
I nodded.
 
“I read a lot, too.”

“Me too,
”
 
I
smiled at the common pastime, feeling myself relax slightly.
 
“I used to read all the time—but lately…”
 
I let the sentence trail.
 
I hadn’t had much time for reading lately.
 
“I really like your paintings.”

“Thank you,
”
 
his
voice was very soft in that moment and I nodded, glancing over him.
 
He cleared his throat and reached forward to take the plate from me.
 
“I’ve been thinking…”
 
The water turned on and I watched his back as he washed the plate.
 
“We probably shouldn’t stay here.
 
I’m surprised Demetrius hasn’t already come.”
 
My eyes widened.

“He knows where to find you?”

“He won’t have much difficulty at all finding out.”
 
I swallowed, biting my lip softly.
 
He turned to face me, plate still in hand.
 
“I won’t let him hurt you, Lucinda.
 
You have to believe that.”

“I do.”
 
My voice was timid, barely audible—but when I saw his eyes brighten ever-so-softly, I knew he’d heard me.
 
“Where will we go?”

“I’m not sure yet.
 
But wherever it is, we should probably go soon.
 
They’ll be coming any time now, with the sun fully set.”
 
He dried the plate and opened a cupboard.
 
“We just need a place to go until daybreak, really.
 
Once the sun comes up, he and I are both trapped.”

“We could go to my apartment.”
 
He shook his head almost immediately.
 

“I’m certain he’s already been there.
 
He’ll likely have someone standing by to watch for us.”
 
At this, a shiver did work its way up my spine.
 
He took a seat at the chair to my right, facing me.
 
“And it won’t be long until he does the same thing here.”
 

“So then…what?”
 
I asked quietly, feeling as if we were out of options.
 
“Do we run?”
 

“He’ll only follow.”
 
He gave a shake of his head and I began to bite my lip nervously, thinking of the people who had treated me like one of their own for as long as I could remember.
 
I longed once more to comfort Ellie and Ryan.

“Is there any…any way to—
”
 
I
almost couldn’t bring myself to say it, and so I took a moment to take a deep breath.
 
“Can he die?”

“It will be incredibly difficult to do, especially on my own.”
 
He shook his head, rubbing his temples.
 
I wondered briefly if vampires could get headaches.
 

“I could help.”
 
My voice was very weak sounding, and I cursed myself.
 

“Out of the question.”
 
He didn’t even look in my direction as he said it, his eyes still concentrating on the table.
 

“I’m not going to let him take the few people I have left, Darren.”
 
As I said his name, his eyes darted upward, catching hold of mine.
 
Something unreadable raged within them and I bit my lip once more.
 
“I lost my mom, I just lost my dad, and now I’ve lost the only person who’s ever come close to understanding me.”
 
I felt tears welling up in my eyes and I shook my head, willing them away.
 
“He’s already taken too much; I can’t let him have anymore.”
 

“He’ll kill you.”
 
He told me.

“Small price to pay,”
 

I meant it to be a joke, but it came out as barely a whisper, revealing one of the secrets I’d wanted to keep from him.
 
His eyes hardened and he shook his head.

“He’s taken from you—yes, but he’s taken just as much from me.
 
And I, too, am unwilling to let him take anymore.”
 
The way his eyes held mine, I was suddenly reminded of the confrontation that had occurred just yesterday.
 
I remembered Demetrius’ words, so cruel and twisted,
“Do we have an attachment to this one, little Darren?”
 
I remembered Darren’s firm shake of his head.
 
“I think you’re lying.”
 

“I’m willing to make that sacrifice,
”
 
I
said in a very quiet, determined voice.
 
Now that I’d already revealed myself, I might as well be honest.
 
His eyes stormed with rage in front of me.
 

“I’m not.”
 
He shook his head firmly and I swallowed, wondering if there was truth to Demetrius’ words after all.
 
“I will never be responsible for the taking of another human life for as long as I exist, Lucinda.”
 
Of course, I realized.
 
It had nothing to do with me, specifically.
 
What on earth would he see in me anyway?

“You wouldn’t—”

“Just because I’m not the one who forces your last breath doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t be responsible.”
 
He shook his head once more.
 
“Out of the question.”

“Then what else is there to do?”
 
I asked, growing angry now.
 
I hadn’t even been aware that a plan was forming in my mind in which I was the sacrificial pawn until he had decisively shot it down—and for some reason that angered me.
  

“The first thing we’re going to do is get out of here.”
 

“And go where?”
 
I asked, returning to my earlier question.
 
Hadn’t he said Demetrius would find us wherever we went?
 
“You said he’ll follow—wherever we go, he’s going to come after us, so what are we going to do?”