The Darkest Dream (The Darkest Trilogy) (9 page)

“I don’t know.”
 
He closed his eyes and rubbed his temples again.
 
After a long moment of silence, he looked up, his eyes unseeing.
 
“Fire.”

“What about fire?”

“We’re going to burn the house down.”
 
I gasped slightly.
 

“But it’s your home—”

“It’s only a house, Lucinda.
 
I haven’t had a home in a very long time.”
 
Darren told me, his eyes holding mine.
 
“Demetrius has likely sent out the hunters already, to track your scent—and I’m sure they’ve caught wind of it.
 
They’ll be here soon—and if I can trap them…”
 
He nodded his head, as if encouraging himself.
 
“It won’t kill them, but if I can get them in the house—it might be enough to give us a chance.”
 
His eyes narrowed, looking as if he was concentrating intensely.
 
“It won’t be long now.”
 

“But—”
  
He rose to his feet and paced briefly before stopping in front of me and taking my hand.
 
“You know you can trust me, right?”
 
I didn’t even hesitate to nod.
 
I trusted this man more than I’d trusted anyone else I’d ever met, I realized.
 
“Good, come with me.”
 

“Where are we—?”
 
He shook his head, leading me toward a door I hadn’t seen earlier.
 
He pulled it open, revealing a garage, his SUV parked inside it.
 
  

“I want you to wait for me here, in the car.”
 
That sounded like a
terrible
idea.
 
I shook my head.
 
“They’ll swarm the house, Lucinda.”

“And I’ll be trapped, with no way to defend myself.”

“They won’t reach you.”

“What if this is where they start?”
 
Darren shook his head.
 

“I won’t let that happen.”
 
This time, I shook my head.
 
“Lucinda, please.
 
Get in the car.
 
If they do find a way in, drive.
 
Drive as fast as you can, as far as you can, and then find another car and keep going.”
 

“I won’t—”

“I’m expendable.”
 
I shook my head adamantly as he guided me through the garage, pulling the door of the SUV open.
 
I opened my mouth to protest, but he stopped me.
 
“I have to go inside now.
 
I won’t be long—I only need to make certain they’re inside the house.”

“Darren—”

But he was already gone.
 
My heart was pounding painfully in my chest and I tried to take several deep breaths to calm myself.
 

After a few minutes had gone by, a panic rose up within me.
 

My jacket.
 

It seemed trivial and stupid, but the thought of leaving the jacket my mother had worn behind—it was impossible for me to accept.
 
I was already opening the door of the vehicle and quietly making my way to the doorway I knew would lead to the backyard.
 
Peeking through the window, I was able to see the ground-level balcony that led to Darren’s bedroom—and it was vacant.

As quickly and quietly as I could, I dashed through the yard and hoisted myself up over the railing.
 
I hesitated a moment—both to see if I’d been noticed and as a vain attempt to calm my pounding heart.
 
The moment I slid the door open, the smell of smoke hit me like a wall.
 
I rushed
inside,
pushing the door back into place, fearing the fresh air would attract the flames.

Again, I hesitated a moment, breathing in slow, silent breaths.
 
Finally, I opened my eyes, blinking several times as I tried to adjust to the smoke.
 

“She’s gone, Demetrius.
 
You’ve wasted your time.”
 
Darren’s voice was muddled through the closed door, but I stepped toward it, straining to listen.

“Oh, come, now, Darren.
 
You don’t honestly expect me to believe that, do you?
 
After all this time.”
 

“It’s done.
 
I’ve ended it.
 
I know you smell the smoke—”

“You forget, dear child.
 
I know you better than you know yourself.
 
You couldn’t destroy the Lux.
 
Not knowing what it means for you.
 
For me.”
 
Demetrius paused.
 
“You three, follow him.
 
Bring the girl to me—
”
 
but
before I had the chance to listen further, the heat emanating from the door became too much to withstand.
 
I pulled away, forcing myself to focus.

It only took a minute, but it felt like forever.
 
Flames were beginning to eat at the door, and the smoke was blinding.
 

I found it resting on a chair—along with the uniform I’d earlier discarded.
 
I picked them both up, sadness ripping through me as I did so.

I stared at the uniform for just a moment before dropping the stained clothing into the flames, licking their way beneath the heavy wooden door.
 
As the fire grew, I watched—watched as it began to crawl upward, watched as the uniform blazed brightly—and with it, the life I’d lived in it.
 

And as the fire spread, I silently said goodbye to the life I would never again have.
 

Because even if I made it out of this—I knew now that I could never go back.
 
I could never go back there, to that life.

The door crackled as the fire swelled, and I watched as the room darkened with smoke.
 
A stroke of fear flashed into my heart and I turned back to the sliding door that would lead to my escape—but even as my flight instinct began to kick in, I knew I couldn’t go yet.
 

I glanced around the room, realizing how much Darren was leaving behind.
 

Before I was even aware of what I was doing, I was scurrying around the room gathering whatever I could get my hands on, emptying the pillowcase of it’s feathered pillow and filling it now with books and sketches.
 
It was becoming painful to breathe, but I remained dedicated to my task, imagining how pained I would be if I’d lost everything I held dearly.
 

As I collapsed against the wall in a fit of coughs I maniacally tried to silence, I took notice of the paintings and felt a heavy pang in my heart.

But even as I pushed myself to my feet, I
crumpled,
my lungs and eyes burning in protest.
 
I remembered the door leading to the balcony and longed to reach for it, but everything was growing very dark.
 

And then I heard it—the shattering of glass as something crashed through the door.
 

Darren was at my side in an instant and I felt his arms circle around me, lifting me in the air.
 
My grasp began to slip on the pillowcase and, with one last bolt of
energy,
I tightened my hold, gripping on to it as if it were the most important task of my life.
 

Even as I felt the cool damp air on my face, felt it filling my lungs, I knew I was going to pass out.
 

And then everything went dark.

When I came to, I was aware that I was in yet another darkened room, and that I was not alone.
 
I opened my eyes slowly and glanced around, realizing instantly that we were in some kind of motel room.
 
He was sitting at the small table near the door, scattered in front of him the remnants of his home.
 
My heart ached as I thought of his sacrifice.
 

“I wanted to get the paintings too,
”
 
I
said, and my voice was husky with the layers of smoke I’d inhaled.
 
His eyes darted in my direction, appraising my appearance.
 
There was a glass of water sitting on the nightstand and I sat up, taking a long drink from it.
 

“You didn’t have to do this.”
 
He told me.
 
I could hear the anger in his voice—but at the same time, I thought I might sense at least a little appreciation.
 

“Where’s my jacket?”
 
His eyes found mine then, and I almost lost myself, as I sometimes seemed to do when caught off guard.
 
His only response was a sad shake of his head.
 
A terrible ache ripped through my chest and I turned away as tears flooded my eyes.
 

It had been one of the few things I’d asked my dad to keep for me.
 
One of the last remaining connections I had to a woman who’d been gone for over half of my life.
 

“Are you feeling okay?”

“I’ve been worse,
”
 
I
said, though the “worse” I spoke of had only occurred not even a day or so ago.
 
“Did it work?”
 

If it worked, then it was worth it, I told myself.
 

“It did.”
 
I sighed softly, nodding my head.
 
“The fire reached the gas line in time.
 
I barricaded his followers in the basement.
 
Demetrius figured out what was going on, I’m sure, and fled.
 
But several of those who were with him aren’t likely to recover quickly.”
 
My heart dropped just a little.
 
Surely I hadn’t expected it to end so easily—but it would have been nice if, just once, it could have.

“What about my—I mean—will they be able to find us?”
 
I asked, having to consider a future in which I was apparently still in danger.

“The smoke did an excellent job disguising your scent.
 
It should take at least a day, maybe two, for them to track us.”
 
I exhaled softly.
 
“If it hadn’t almost gotten you killed, I’d say locking yourself in that room for as long as you did was a good idea.”
 
His anger was reflected in his tone, now.

“I—I just…it was my mom’s jacket.
 
I…don’t really have anything else of hers.”
 
I told him, explaining why I’d gone back inside.
 
I wanted him to understand how important it had been to me—that last connection I had with a woman I’d barely known.
 
But I didn’t know how to explain it, so I didn’t bother.
 

“By the time I realized I’d been inside for too long, it was too late.”
 
He nodded, though I could tell he was still angry.
 
“If I
had
died, it wouldn’t have been your fault, Darren.”
 
I added, and his eyes flashed, darkening briefly.
 

“Why are you so set on killing yourself?”
 

“Why are you so set on keeping me alive?”
 
I answered his challenge with one of my own.
 
“Anyway, just because I’m not afraid to die doesn’t mean that I actually
want
to.”
 
I explained, averting my eyes now.
 
I had a feeling he wasn’t going to answer my question regardless.
 

“Never sacrifice yourself for me, Lucinda.
 
Please.
 
Can you promise me that?”
 
The sudden urgency in his tone brought my gaze back to his.
 
“Promise me, Lucinda.”

But I couldn’t.
 
I didn’t know what it was—why I felt so drawn to this man who was not a man at all—this man who was, in all realities, a total stranger.
 
I could not understand why I trusted him more in the short time I’d known him than anyone else I’d ever encountered.
 

And mostly, I couldn’t understand why I was so willing to put my life on the line for him.
 
But I was, and in a way, it frightened me.

I could tell my silence was angering him even more, and I longed to placate him.
 

“Only if you promise to do the same.”
 
The words had escaped my mouth without thought, and I watched his response, taking it in.
 
His eyes flashed again, and I sat up further, placing my feet on the floor as I prepared to stand.
 

“Our lives are worth very different amounts.”

“We’ll have to agree to disagree, then,
”
 
I
said, raising an eyebrow, challenging him to say more.
 
I wondered if he was as inexplicably drawn to me as I was to him as I rose to my feet.
 

And suddenly, there was a loud growling noise and my back was pressed to the wall.
 
Darren was holding me in place, his face so close to mine I could smell the smoke that still lingered in his hair.
 
“
Promise
, Lucinda.”
 
His eyes, so intense—such an alluring shade of purple—were pleading with me.
 
“Please.”

“I won’t make a promise I might not be able to keep.”
 
I could see the pain etched into his expression reflected in his eyes, and I couldn’t restrain myself any longer.
 
I lifted my hand and gently ran my thumb along his chiseled jaw, which was now clenched in response to my words.
 
I felt him breathe in sharply, as if my touch shocked him, and his eyes drifted closed.
 

For a moment, I could tell he had lost himself in my touch the way I sometimes lost myself in his eyes.
 

“This isn’t right, Lucinda,
”
 
his
voice startled me, but I kept my hand on him.
 
I liked the way he felt.
 

“Don’t care for me.”
 
He spoke again.
 
And his eyes were open now, pleading with me much the same as they had been when he’d first pressed me against the wall.
 
“I don’t deserve it.”
 

“I think I can be the judge of that.”
  

“No, I don’t think you can.”
 
He backed away from me suddenly, and I felt his cool breath as he exhaled deeply.
 
“You don’t have any idea.”
 
He turned his back to me and I watched him as he struggled with himself.
 
“How many times do I have to tell you that I’m a monster?”

“You don’t look like a monster to me.”
 
I found that I had positioned myself in front of him now, finding his eyes again.
 
It was hard to imagine Darren, so beautiful and stoic, as some vicious killer.
 
He laughed coldly.

“No, of course I don’t.
 
That’s part of my charm, Lucinda.
 
Part of my arsenal.”
 
His eyes dazzled me as they always did.
 
“It’s much easier to lure your prey in for the kill if you look appealing to them while doing it.”
 
I felt my breath catch in my throat as his eyes grew impossibly darker.
 
His voice was very low as he neared me again, taking his time.
 
I was mesmerized by his every move.
 

“It makes it so much easier to play the game.
 
As a predator, you need to be able to hide from your prey.”
 
He was directly in front of me now, closer than he had been just moments ago even.
 
I closed my eyes, feeling his cool breath on my neck.
 
“Because if I looked like this,
”
 
and
my eyes fluttered open, suddenly aware of how close he was—barely centimeters away.
 
“It would be a totally different game.”

His face had only very slightly
changed,
his cheekbones sharper.
 
His canine teeth were elongated, his eyes startlingly black.
 
Had I seen him on the street like this, I certainly would have kept my distance—but I wasn’t terrified.
 

I reached forward and traced my thumb once again along his jaw, his face instantly changing back to its original shape.
 
“I’m not afraid of you, Darren.”
 

“You should be!”
 
He roared, pinning me on the bed that had been just behind me.
 
I cried out in shock as he tumbled with me, holding me in place as his face shifted once more.
 
“Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve tasted fresh human blood?”
 
he
asked, inhaling deeply.
 

I did feel a trickle of fear beginning to spread throughout my body, then, my heart hammering in my chest as my fight-or-flight response began to rouse within me.
 
“And you…you smell so sweet.
 
I can almost imagine the taste, just from the sound of your heart.”

“You wouldn’t hurt me,
”
 
I
whispered, partially as a reminder to myself.

“How can you be sure?”
 
He inhaled again, closing his eyes as if taking in the scent of a gourmet meal after years of living on mud.
 

“I trust you.”
 
My heart was thumping loudly in my chest in spite of myself.
 
“I trust that you wouldn’t hurt me.”
 
I took a deep breath, trying to calm my pounding heart.
 
“If you’d wanted me dead, you wouldn’t have gone through all of this.”
 

“What if I just wanted you for myself?”
 
My breath caught in my throat once more.
 
I knew he was just trying to prove a point.
 
I knew that he would never hurt me.
 
I wasn’t sure how I knew, but I was certain of it.
 

“You won’t kill me.”
 

“You’re a fool.”
 
And I was free just as suddenly as I’d been pinned.

“I’m a fool because
I’m trusting
you?
 
Like you assured me I could.”
 
I was angry now as I clambered off the bed.
 
“You
told
me you wouldn’t hurt me.
 
You
told
me I could trust you.”

“Trusting and caring are two very different things.”
 
He was very quiet, his back to me.
 
My mouth dropped as I shook my head.
 

“I never—you—that is just—”
 

“I can see it in your eyes.
 
I can hear it in the way your body reacts when I’m near you.
 
You’re attracted to me.
 
You trust me.
 
In a normal situation, it would make sense to come to care about me.”
 
He shook his head, now.
 
“This is not a normal situation, Lucinda.
 
I cannot be your friend.
 
I cannot be your lover.
 
I shouldn’t even be a memory.”
 

I was shocked by the sudden sting in my
heart,
by the way his words seemed to really hurt me.
 
I hadn’t even been aware that I was tripping, let alone falling I realized, relating it back to my friend.
 

“I’m going to take a shower,
”
 
I
said finally, and my voice was barely even a harsh whisper.
 
I didn’t turn to look at him.
 

I emerged from the bathroom after nearly an hour, my composure totally regained.
 
I planned to act as if nothing had happened, as if the conversation had never occurred.
 
There were far more important things to be thinking about, and as I showered, I attempted to do just that.

But with what little knowledge I had of this world, I found it a very difficult task.

He was sitting at the table, motionless, almost appearing to be a statue.
 
I kept my eyes guarded as I settled on the bed, wearing the same clothes I’d gone in with.
 
After the shower, I was capable of smelling the foul odor of smoke that still lingered on them.
 
Instead of preparing a plan against Demetrius, which I would be useless at anyway, while showering, I had switched gears and decided I would ask questions.
 

“What time is it?”
 
I asked first, unaware of where the clock was and unwilling to risk a look around.
 
I was doing my best to avoid his eyes.
 

“It’s still early.
 
Probably a few hours left of sunlight.”
 
I nodded and pulled my knees up to my chest, another wave of smoke filling my nose.
 

“Do you think it would be possible for me to…to leave, then?”
 
My words came out in a rush as I felt his eyes dart in my direction.
 
“I would come right back—”