The Darkness Within (4 page)

Gut Feeling

"What did you get on number seven?" Adrianna asked, tapping her pen on her spiral bound notebook. Her dark hair spilled over her shoulders and onto the floor, the pink stripe tucked behind her ear. We were both spread out on our stomachs in her living room, with her math textbook in between us, doing our homework.

I scanned my page, looking for number seven. "I got x equals 88," I answered.

Adrianna made an "aha" sound and erased her answer, scribbling mine down. "You're so good at math."

"I'm not good at math, I'm just better at it than you are," I replied with a laugh.

She laughed along, rolling her eyes. "Same thing."

"You girls sound like you're having fun doing homework," Mr. Rodriguez, Adrianna's dad, said as he strolled into the living room with a plate in his hands. He was still dressed in his police uniform, and had a smile on his face. Adrianna’s dad had been a police officer for our county’s department since before Adrianna and I were born, and he loved his job with a fiery passion. His passion for his job had spread to Adrianna’s brother, Lorenzo, who was away for his first year of college and had decided to pursue a career in criminal justice.

"Oh
yeah
, we're having
so
much fun," Adrianna said. The sarcasm in her tone was so heavy that I could practically see it dripping from her words and all over the textbook. "I wish I could spend the rest of my life doing math problems." She poked her tongue out and pretended to gag herself.

"Well, your wish may be granted considering how many questions we were assigned for homework tonight," I said, eliciting a groan from Adrianna.

Her dad squatted down in front of us and set a plate of apples and peanut butter on the ground near the textbook. "I brought you girls a snack to keep your brains fueled while you work."

"Thanks, Dad," Adrianna said, reaching for an apple and dragging it through the peanut butter.

I did the same, saying, "Thank you, Mr. Rodriguez."

"You're welcome, girls," he said, before leaving the room again.

I leaned to the side, watching as her dad walked down the hall and around the corner. I was waiting for him to be out of hearing range before I brought up what I saw and heard last night. I waited all day long until now to tell Adrianna, out of fear that someone would over hear us. Once I was sure her dad was gone, I sat up, hugging my knees to my chest and leaning my back against the couch.

"Are you finished?" Adrianna asked in shock, furrowing her eyebrows. She even leaned over and took a look at my notebook.

"No, but I have to tell you something. It's important." I chewed on my bottom lip in anticipation.

Adrianna frowned, and following my suit, she sat up. She folded her legs under her body and stared at me expectantly. "Well, what's up?" she asked. She tucked her thick, brown hair behind her ears, making her look even younger than usual from the way her ears poked out at the sides.

I hugged my legs tighter to my chest as I said, "I heard, and saw, something really strange last night, Ade."

She leaned forward, waiting for me to say more.

"I saw David in his backyard dragging his daughter into his house," I explained, still feeling uncomfortable with what I saw. My mom's theory about his daughter and him arguing was seeming more and more like a valid reason for what I witnessed, but it still made me feel unnerved.

Adrianna frowned deeper, producing three small lines on her forehead. "Dragging her back inside?"

I nodded.

She shook her head slowly as she said, "Wow, they must have had some argument."

I shrugged. "That's what my mom said, but I think it was more than that. His daughter really looked like she was trying to get away. She even screamed. That's how I woke up."

"Well, maybe she
was
trying to get away. No family is perfect. Maybe David has a bad temper and he was upset with her so she tried to leave," she offered.

"Maybe," I responded, still slightly skeptical. "My mom said David told her his daughter was troubled. Apparently she struggles with a lot, but she didn't specifically say what." I shivered, thinking about how he had his hand clamped over her mouth and had yanked her back inside of the house.

Offering me a sympathetic look, Adrianna said, "Claire, have you thought that maybe the reason you don't like David so much is because you're
trying
to find reasons not to like him?"

I tilted my head to the side and frowned. "What do you mean?"

Adrianna sighed and glanced down before she met my eyes again. "I'm just saying, maybe you aren't giving David a chance because you don't want him to become your future stepfather. You see the connection between him and your mom and you feel threatened by it. Like you're afraid of what such a huge change could bring."

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. Mrs. Rodriguez is a therapist, so Adrianna grew up learning how to psychoanalyze everyone. Whenever I had a problem, she quickly transitioned from friend mode into her daughter-of-a-shrink mode. "That's not it at all," I said with a groan.

She tilted her head to the side questioningly.

"I'm serious," I countered. "I want my mom to be happy, so that can't be it. I don't even remember my dad at all. I wouldn't care if she got remarried. I just can't help it that I get a weird vibe from David."

Adrianna pursed her lips in thought. "Don't you think since you don't remember your dad it would make this harder on you? You've never seen your mom with a man. For as long as you can remember it’s just been the two of you. Don't you feel like having another man come into the picture would, in some way, be betraying your father? Since you never even had a chance to really know him?" I could imagine her with a pen poised over a notepad ready to diagnose me.

"No, I don't. I know how I'm feeling, Ade. Yes, I wish I had the chance to get to know my dad, but he died protecting this country. He was a hero." I flattened my legs out on the ground and crossed my arms over my chest. "I wouldn't prevent my mom from dating someone because of that. She deserves to find love again."

"I think you subconsciously hate David for moving in and taking your mom's attention. It's only normal for someone to feel this way toward the new man in her mother's life," Adrianna concluded.

I shook my head, frowning. "That's not true. Didn't you just hear what I said?"

She nodded, causing the hair, which had been tucked behind her ears, to fall into her face again. "I heard it, I just didn't believe it. It's a subconscious hatred, therefore you aren't even aware of it." She scratched her chin and squinted her eyes. "Maybe last night you heard a noise and dreamt you saw David dragging his daughter backwards. That could be a metaphorical dream where David was dragging you away from your relationship with your mother."

"Yeah, right," I scoffed. "I know what I saw."

Adrianna's gaze met mine. She stared into my eyes as she asked, "So you aren't threatened by David at all?"

"No," I lied through gritted teeth.

She shrugged. "If you say so."

“I do say so," I replied, seething. I could feel anger bubbling up inside of me. I tried to bite my tongue, but I couldn’t. “And what’s your reason for not liking Ben, huh? Is it because you’re afraid to start dating? Do you feel like he’s threatening your innocence or something stupid like that?”

Adrianna looked down. Somehow she kept her voice steady as she said, “Can we
not
talk about Ben right now? My parents are in the other room. Besides, this is about you. Don’t turn this around on me because
you’re
threatened by David moving in on your mom.”

I groaned.
Not this again.
"I am
not
threatened by him. I just think there's something wrong with him. That’s all!"

"Why?" she questioned. "There can only be two reasons. Either it’s because he's insanely hot for an old man or because he's interested in your mom." A goofy smirk slipped onto her lips. She was convinced my feelings of unease towards David had to do with his blooming relationship with my mom, and she wasn’t going to let it go.

I feigned a gag in response to her comment about David being hot. I no longer thought he was attractive. The darkness in his eyes seemed to take over, causing his level of attractiveness to deplete quickly. "Neither. Maybe it's the fact I heard chains rattling in his basement when Mom and I helped him move in or the fact that the only time I've seen his daughter was late at night when he was dragging her into the house. Either way, I think something's wrong with him."

Adrianna sighed. "Well, then there's only way for you to find out what's going on with him."

"How?" I asked, curious as to what she was thinking.

"You have to try to become friends with his daughter. Then maybe you can find out stuff about him through her."

I nodded, agreeing that it was a good idea. If only his daughter was around more often than just in the dead of night. "I can try to do that."

"Good," Adrianna said with a satisfied smirk on her face. She loved helping solve problems. "Don't get too close to her though. You can't replace me.”

Troubled

Gripping one strap of my backpack tightly, I used my free hand to unlock the front door. I slipped the key in the lock and twisted the doorknob, thankful when the door opened with a click and the light from inside the foyer lit up the porch. I hurried inside of my warm home, dropping my bag on the ground near the door. Adrianna and I finished all of our homework together, which was a relief. Now I was still cold from the chilly autumn weather outside and extremely hungry. The apples and peanut butter snack at Adrianna's house had not been enough to fill me up.

"Hey, Mom!" I called out as I pushed the door shut and locked it. I heard the sound of pots banging and the water running. The smell of hamburger meat floated in from the kitchen, making my mouth water. I followed the smell, my stomach gurgling as I walked toward the kitchen. "It smells so good in here. What are you making?" I asked as I rounded the corner, coming to a stop when I saw David standing near the stove, mixing the meat with a spatula.

David turned and looked at me, his lips curving upwards into a slow smile. "Hi, Claire. We're making tacos," he answered me.

"Oh, hey David," I responded, dragging out the syllables in each word. Then I forced a smile back at him. My mom was nowhere in sight.
Why was he cooking?
"Where is my mom?" I asked, voicing my thoughts. I walked toward our granite island and pulled out a stool for myself to sit on.

"She should be back down in a second. She ran upstairs to change out of her work clothes." He chuckled to himself, while I just stared at him, not understanding the joke. "I caught her just as she was coming in from work."

"Oh," I mumbled, not knowing what else to say. I climbed up onto the stool and rested my elbows on the counter.

David turned back to the stove and broke up the meat with the spatula, mixing it around again. I watched his every movement, thinking about my earlier conversation with Adrianna.
Was she right? Am I threatened that David and my mom will start dating and it will ruin my relationship with her?
I chewed my bottom lip in thought, just staring at his back. Maybe I
was
feeling threatened, and my emotions were playing a part in the reason why I was uncomfortable around him, but it wasn't the only reason. As the image of him dragging Gwen back into their house hit me again, I knew for a fact that there was more to my discomfort. Maybe his eyes were so cold because he had a dark side he had yet to show.

The sound of footsteps alerted me to my mom as she entered the kitchen. Her hair was pulled back into a short ponytail and she was wearing a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. She looked simple, yet stunning.

"I thought I heard you come in," she said to me as she walked in. She came over and kissed my temple before taking over for David. "Thank you," she said to him with a smile.

"You're welcome," he replied with a flirtatious wink.

I nearly gagged.

"Finish all of your homework?" Mom asked me as she added water and taco seasoning to the meat.

"Yes. We even went over our new vocabulary words for English."

She gave me a big smile, widening her eyes. "That's great." She turned back to the stove and mixed the meat more. "I invited David to stay for dinner," she added.

"Okay," I responded. Did she expect me to be happy about the invitation? I folded my hands together and sat quietly as my mom and David made small talk. I felt awkward just sitting there, staring at them, so after a while I averted my eyes downward and stared at my hands instead.

I wasn't sitting there for long before my mom announced that dinner was ready. I watched as she dug out bowls from the cabinets and pulled different ingredients from the refrigerator. She poured lettuce, salsa, cheese, and chopped tomatoes into separate bowls, and placed the sour cream on the counter.

"Need any help?" I offered, sliding off of the stool.

Mom nodded. "Sure. Can you carry something over to the table?"

"Of course." I grabbed the bowl of lettuce and the bowl of cheese and took them over to the dining room table. David followed me in, carrying two bowls of his own, and my mom came in with plates and the sour cream.

Mom and I took our usual spots at the table, and David slid into the chair across from me. It was the seat Adrianna normally sat in when she stayed for dinner. Mom passed David and I our plates, and placed the final plate, which was filled with tortillas, in the center of the table. David watched us with his hands folded in prayer as we said our grace, and then began eating.

The conversation started off normal with Mom asking about my day. I told her about how my classes went but was curter than usual. When it was just the two of us, I went into detail on everything. I told her about the smallest things that happened and my story sometimes went on for the entire duration for dinner. Then she would tell me about her day—her stories never lasted as long as mine did. Today was different though, because we had a guest to incorporate into the conversation. As I talked briefly about my day, I knew my mom noticed how I was being more reserved with my answers than usual.

When I was finished speaking, Mom gave me a knowing look, and then turned her attention to David who was munching on his taco slowly. "David?"

He looked up from his food, focusing his attention on her.

Mom folded her hands on top of the table. "I have a question for you. It's about last night."

David raised an eyebrow in curiosity. "What is it?"

"Last night Claire was woken up by screaming," she began, giving me a small, encouraging smile. David narrowed his eyes for just a second before smoothing his features back into a relaxed position. It happened so quickly I was barely able to register it. "She saw you pulling your daughter back into the house and it frightened her."

I bit my lip and looked down, not wanting to meet either of their gazes. The way she said it made it sound like I was a child who needed reassurance. She'd also watered down what I saw by saying ‘pulling’ rather than ‘dragging’. I don't think she even realized she did.

David let out a forced laugh, causing me to look up at him. He waved his hand in the air, like he was waving off the situation. “It's nothing to worry about. I'm sorry we were so loud.” He looked down at his plate uncomfortably.

Mom dabbed at the corners of her mouth with a napkin before folding her hands on the table. “What happened?”

I gnawed on my bottom lip, trying to gauge his expression as he stared down at his plate. He looked nervous, embarrassed even.

David shook his head slowly before looking up and making eye contact with Mom. “Gwen can be very inconsiderate at times,” he answered with a heavy sigh. “We had an argument last night and she tried to run out. She used to do that all of the time back in Ohio, but here she doesn't know her way around. She can’t just take off at any hour of the night and expect me to be okay with it. It’s different here. I don't know her friends or feel comfortable having her gone at such hours." He shook his head, and ran a hand through his hair. For the first time since I met him, he actually looked genuinely concerned. I was shocked to see a real emotion on his face. "She has a habit of running off when she doesn't get her way, and I just snapped. She doesn't understand that I’m just trying to do what's best for her."

My mom and I nodded simultaneously.

“I’m sorry for asking,” Mom said, offering him a sympathetic look.

David waved off her apology, and shook his head. “It’s fine. I wouldn’t expect anything less. It’s just hard, you know? I don’t know how you do it.”

Mom tilted her head down and shrugged her shoulders. “Claire’s a great girl. She makes it easy for me.” She looked up and met David’s gaze again. “You and Gwen just have to find common ground. I’m sure she feels like her world is ending, being here all alone without her friends back in Ohio. Right now, you’re the enemy. She just has to see that you’re on her side. It may take her a while to realize that you’re the good guy, but when she does everything will start to get better.” Mom flickered her eyes to me and gave me a small smile. I returned it before taking a bite of my dinner. I chewed slowly as I watched her and David.

Mom brought up something about how she was a bit rebellious when she was a teenager, but I had already stopped listening. Instead, I was deep in thought about what I saw last night. I was trying to see if it fit into the context of the reason David had just given, but I wasn’t sure whether it did or not. What I saw wasn't a teenager throwing a fit; it was someone desperately trying to get away. David and Gwen had to have had a pretty bad argument for her to want to leave that badly, but it didn't seem like her and her father got along well in the first place. I felt bad for her, and looking across the table at David, who was showing the first sign of real emotion since I met him, I felt bad for him too.