The Darkness Within Him: The Untwisted series (7 page)

My cry of pain was muffled by the mattress; boy, those were certainly harder than last time. I tensed my burning buttocks, expecting more, but it was just the three strikes before he flipped me back over and straddled me across my stomach.

‘I said no touching, Rebecca,’ Nicholas murmured softly before reaching under the pillow to my left and producing a silk scarf in the most beautiful aquamarine colour. ‘You broke my rule; I’m going to tie your hands now. It won’t hurt as long as you don’t tug. Lift your arms above your head,’ he demanded, his dark, sexy eyes burning into mine as if daring me to object. I didn’t; in fact, I obeyed immediately, keen to avoid more smacks, and raised them above my head where he proceeded to tie my wrists not only together, but to the metal frame of the bed too. I just knew the bedframe would be involved somehow.

An experimental tug showed me I had no room for manoeuvre, but before this thought could bother me, Nicholas had bowed over and begun sucking at one of my nipples so deliciously that I forgot all about my hands. Instead, my body thrummed under him and I mewled against his shoulder as his tongue worked its magic on my nipple.

He really was superbly skilled at the whole sex thing.

My heart accelerated in my chest as Nicholas reached around me and produced something else from underneath his pillow causing my eyes to widen. What the heck? I’d seen these before. Well, I’d seen things similar to these before and I was pretty certain what he was holding was a vibrator. But it wasn’t like the more lifelike ones I’d seen in an Ann Summers catalogue; instead, it was clinical looking, shaped sort of like a long, smooth, white bullet.

‘Open your mouth,’ he instructed me quietly and I was struck with confusion. My mouth? I thought these things went down, well … where his fingers were earlier. ‘I won’t ask again Rebecca,’ Nicholas warned me softly and I was broken from my trance as I opened my mouth obediently.

‘I’m going to put this inside you and make you come,’ he murmured with a devious twinkle in his eyes. Oh my goodness! Whoever thought that just words could get me so frigging excited?

‘It needs to be moistened first, Rebecca, lick it,’ he instructed, so I did, very tentatively, and I saw Nicholas narrow his eyes with what looked like displeasure at my embarrassed actions.

‘Imagine it’s my cock. Suck it and lick it as if you want to pleasure me.’ God, he was so open with his word choices, did he have no shame? Apparently not. To someone as relatively inexperienced as me he seemed to be the living epitome of sexual liberation in all its glory.

This was so embarrassing. Nicholas was watching me intently but I didn’t want another spank so I began to oblige, trying to pretend he wasn’t watching me. First, I ran my lips slowly from the tip to the base and back again, then I took it in my mouth and sucked briefly before twirling my tongue around the rounded tip several times. I was just about to take it all in my mouth again when I felt him shudder next to me, apparently suitably affected by my ministrations.

‘Christ, Rebecca, we’re going to have to do that for real at some point,’ Nicholas muttered thickly and I smiled up at him as sweetly as possible before, suddenly, I was lost as he lowered his hand to my groin and eased the vibrator inside me where it begin to hum softly against my oversensitive flesh.

‘
Ahhh
, Nicholas …’ I began to plead and I saw him raise his head and smile darkly at me as I tried desperately to move my tethered arms.

‘Shh,’ he whispered, pinching my nipple hard between his forefinger and thumb to the point of pain, but somehow it was a delicious sensation and made me buck underneath him, forcing the vibrator deeper inside me and almost causing me to orgasm on the spot.
Shit
, this was like sensory overload.

Increasing the tempo, Nicholas continued to lavish attention on my breasts with his mouth and fingers while still driving me on with the vibrator, sinking it deeper and harder into me and rubbing my clitoris with his thumb until I could take no more and I exploded around it, crying out his name hoarsely and tugging at my wrist restraints. At last, I collapsed back on the bed, completely wrung out.

Holy fuck!
That had to be the most powerful orgasm I’d had yet. The things this man could do to me! He was totally focused on pleasuring me; there seemed to be no selfish intent like with some men, and I moaned contentedly, my insides still convulsing spasmodically from the aftermath of my delicious orgasm.

The rush of adrenalin from my earlier anxiousness had passed, and with the amazing orgasm I’d just experienced, exhaustion washed over me and my eyes began to close sleepily, but as they did I felt Nicholas loosening the scarf at my wrists and rubbing them gently in turn. ‘Eyes open, Rebecca,’ he instructed next to my ear. ‘I’m not done with you yet.’

There was more? Although deep down I realised we hadn’t finished yet because obviously he hadn’t climaxed, I seriously doubted that my body could take any more orgasms like that last one. However, before the thought could properly plant in my brain I heard the rip of a condom packet and felt Nicholas pushing my legs apart with his knee and settling himself over me. Surprisingly, it seemed to awaken me somehow.

‘I can see you are tired, Rebecca, so we’ll stay in this position. I doubt I’ll last long anyway. Watching you come like that was an incredible turn-on,’ he muttered and I smiled despite my tiredness. He was aroused and apparently pleased because of me, and this thought made me happy in return. Knowing Nicholas liked eye contact, I made a real effort to keep my eyes open as he used his hand to manoeuvre himself into position and slide inside me in one smooth motion before setting off at a fast pace from the outset.

With my hands now free, I clutched at his broad back, loving the feel of his strong muscles rippling and twisting under the skin as he ploughed himself into me over and over again. He certainly liked it rough; that was for sure.

My body obviously did too, because even after the amazing orgasm I had just experienced, I felt the pressure building in my abdomen again, and after two more strokes I climaxed violently around Nicholas, my muscles clamping on to his length and causing him to come almost immediately, groaning my name before collapsing on top of me, panting.

Several minutes later, he eased himself out of me, dispensed with the condom, and rolled to the side. He propped his head up on his hand as he looked down at me.

‘That was a bit of an introduction into some of the things I like to do, Rebecca … what did you think?’ There was an edge of concern to his voice, possibly because of the spanking. I hadn’t thought I would like that element of it, but actually, it had been quick and relatively painless and had just seemed like part of the whole act, although I suspected it was mild compared to what he was capable of.

The realisation that I had almost enjoyed being spanked surprised me and I stored it away to consider in greater detail later, when I was alone. What
did
I think about what had just occurred between us? Overall, it had just been great sex with a few toys thrown in, plus Nicholas’ obvious like of leading the way, of course. My body felt like lead; I was utterly exhausted, but instead of saying that I tried for something that might please him a little more. ‘Quite frankly, that was amazing, Nicholas.’

A low chuckle escaped Nicholas’ throat, but as he continued to examine me, I saw a small frown tweak his brows. ‘You should probably leave now,’ he muttered and I sat up hastily, my cheeks flaming at his words.

After several seconds where I tried to work out the least embarrassing way of gathering my scattered clothing, I glanced back at him and saw he was still staring at me. Finally, he spoke again. ‘I never knew it could be like that,’ he murmured in a tone that confused the hell out of me. Never knew it could be like that? But surely that was what he did all the time?

‘What do you mean?’ I asked, sidetracked from the idea of getting dressed, and definitely more awake now. ‘Wasn’t that what you usually do?’ I cringed at my words. Could I sound any more clueless?

Raising an ironic eyebrow, Nicholas looked across at me. ‘For some reason, the two times I’ve been with you I’ve been … different, Becky … Controlling, yes, but what you’ve seen isn’t the real dominant me. It’s just how I seem to be with you.’ He shrugged nonchalantly but sounded just as confused as I was.

Wrapping my arms around my bent knees, I bit my lip before asking the question I had to know the answer to. ‘The orders and toys aren’t the dominant you?’ I squeaked. What else could there be?

Still scowling, Nicholas looked at me intently. ‘I’m always domineering, in all walks of life, I know that and I can’t avoid it. Yes, the accessories play a part, but I was referring to how I feel and act around you.’ He looked torn, like there was some conflict raging in his mind that I couldn’t see. ‘For example, we’re in my bedroom for a start.’

‘Where else would you go?’ I whispered, praying he didn’t say something like “my torture chamber”. I’d read all about that on the internet too; some dominants had an exclusive room set up with all the paraphernalia they needed for their habit. Some people have a sewing room, or an art studio, others a home cinema, and apparently dominants sometimes have a sex room.
Lovely
.

‘The spare room. I never bring women in here,’ Nicholas stated matter-of-factly.

‘But the scarf and –’ I paused, embarrassed all of a sudden ‘– 
vibrator
 … were under your pillow, so surely you had planned this?’

I saw Nicholas’ frown deepen at my words. ‘I had considered sex as a possible outcome tonight when you decided to continue your lessons and started to relax around me, and yes, earlier I got these things ready … It hadn’t occurred to me that I’d put them in here, though …’ The troubled expression remained, like he had no idea why he’d acted the way he had.

Wanting to get to the bottom of this while he was in the mood to talk, I persevered. ‘So dominant Nicholas is different?’ I wrapped the sheet around me tighter to hide the quivering of my limbs.

‘Yes. You wouldn’t like him,’ Nicholas replied tightly, appearing to tire of this conversation. ‘I’m not sure I like him any more,’ he added quietly.

‘Different how?’ I asked, cursing my own grim curiosity.

‘You’re starting to push your luck with all these questions, Rebecca. If you don’t stop talking and get dressed I may just have to show you what it is I normally do,’ Nicholas snapped, causing me to flinch at his sudden change in mood. Then he rose from the bed lithely and pulled on his shirt with his back to me.

Clearly, our discussion was over and I was now required to leave. I suppose I shouldn’t have expected anything different, really, not after his blunt description of how he liked to “fuck women for an hour or two”. Once dressed, Nicholas left the room without another word or glance, effectively putting an end to our evening and leaving me to get dressed in privacy.

Wow, what a night! I wanted to roll over and allow the exhaustion to sweep over me after the amazing sex I’d just experienced, but somehow I managed to dress myself and head toward the lounge with a straight back, trying to look like I hadn’t just been used for sex and asked to leave. How shameful.

Although I could hardly claim to have been “used for sex”, could I? I had been just as up for it as he had. God, I’d practically initiated it by bringing up my research into his lifestyle. No, what had just occurred between us had been just as much my doing as his. As the saying goes, “it takes two to tango” … or shag rampantly, as we had done.

I was beyond mortified as I made my way down the stairs and bumped into Mr Burrett in the hallway. God, how embarrassing. He was so inconspicuous that I had totally forgotten he was here. My already pink cheeks reddened further as I wondered if he’d heard us and I dipped my head as I hurried past him.

When I appeared in the lounge, Nicholas insisted on driving me home, which was unexpected. After his abrupt mood swing in the bedroom I wasn’t going to attempt to start up another conversation, so the short drive was mostly in silence. Needless to say, the quiet tension simmering between us did nothing to ease my discomfort about what I had just done.

As he pulled up alongside my block of flats, I couldn’t help but feel a pang of shame. The exterior of my building was pretty shabby now, waiting for a paint job from the lousy landlord, and was a far, far cry from the beauty of Nicholas’ home.

‘Same time next week?’ Nicholas asked, appearing not to notice the state of my house. His comment caused me to look at him, startled, and raise my eyebrows at his presumption. I saw him flush and narrow his eyes at me. ‘For your piano lesson,’ he added softly, and I thought I saw a trace of something else in his eyes; humour perhaps, but the moonlight made it impossible to read.

Nodding jerkily, I agreed before getting out of the car and marching to my door without so much as a backwards glance, even though I was secretly dying to see if Nicholas was watching me leave.

Chapter Five

Flicking through the diary that I kept in my desk drawer I found the first Friday that I had marked with the word “piano”. It was in red ink and underlined once. That was when my lessons with Nicholas had started. As I turned the pages, I saw each consecutive week was marked in a similar way, but on the fifth Friday where I’d written “piano”, a smiley face had been added next to it and this was underlined three times, serving as a reminder to myself about when I had started sleeping with him. What can I say? I’m a very visual person.

The Friday diary pages from then on each had smiley faces on them, and so it had continued; our weird piano-sex-relationship that really wasn’t a relationship at all.

Nicholas had been insistent that we continue my piano tutorials, but each week, once the lesson was finished, he would introduce me to some new sexual joy or act. After overcoming my initial concerns about “being used” for sex, I had realised this was exactly what I’d asked him for in the first place. Nicholas had told me from the start he didn’t do relationships, and what was it I’d said in reply? Oh yes, I remember. “Can’t we just have sex?”

Classy girl. I still couldn’t believe I’d suggested it, but now, looking back, it was clear to me that my experience with Nicholas had taught me one thing – stable, normal relationships were the way to go. Even if the physical side might be a bit watered down compared to what I’d had with him, at least my body and heart would be safe.

Every Friday night we’d met, and it had been blissful and nowhere near as scary as I had initially thought – just a bit more imaginative, if you like. As well as normal – admittedly fairly vigorous – sex, we had used scarves, vibrators, and some soft handcuffs but that was it, really. None of the chains or dungeons or dressing up in leather that I’d seen on the internet.

My vague attempt at learning the piano continued for several weeks, but Nicholas had started to get more and more impatient until we barely made it 30 minutes through my hour-long piano lessons before he ordered me into the bedroom and began the sexual assault on my senses. In fact, I had begun to wonder why we didn’t just skip the pretence of piano lessons and head straight to the bedroom.

In hindsight, I know I should have headed straight for the door.

Another warning sign I should have heeded was the fact that Nicholas never asked me to stay over. Not once. I was a sex toy to him, nothing more. Although he would sometimes hold me afterwards for what seemed like an eternity, eventually he would always peel himself from my side and begin dressing, which I quickly learnt was his discreet way of asking me to leave. Then he’d drive me home without another word, and we’d repeat it all the following week, like Groundhog Day.

One night stuck in my mind as being slightly different, though. It was the night that had given me a tiny glimmer of hope that maybe he was starting to see me as more than just a bed buddy – but in the stark light of retrospection was probably nothing more than his ego needing a boost.

I’d had a tough week at work, and to top it off, my sister, Joanne, had called twice already. Odd, really, seeing as routine was vital to her and she usually only called on a Wednesday night.

As I saw her name again on my phone’s display on Friday afternoon, I frowned. ‘Hi, Jo-Jo, how’s it going?’ I asked in the soft, considerate tone reserved just for my sister.

‘Good. Great.’ There was a pause where I could hear her chewing on a fingernail, her teeth clicking together noisily. ‘Actually no, not good. Not good at all. I think the pills the nurses are giving me are the wrong ones. I know it. I do. I know it. Wrong pills.’

I grimaced at her obvious agitation.

‘It’s OK, sweetie, would you like me to come down and see you? I could check with the nurses if it’ll make you feel better?’ I said soothingly.

‘Yes please! Oh yes!’ Her relief over the phone line was practically palpable. ‘But no … you’re so busy. Always busy. Busy, busy, busy. Don’t want to disturb you, Becs … Mustn’t disturb you …’ God, she was rambling; it must be a really bad attack this time.

‘It’s not a problem, sweetheart, I’m not busy. I’ll be with you straight after work.’ When I hung up I knew Nicholas wouldn’t be happy with me cancelling my lesson, but my sister came first so I called him and then hurried through the remainder of my work so I could get to Joanne as quickly as possible.

It had been a long, sleepless night with Joanne, but the following morning, as I made my way home, I made an on-the-spot decision to turn up at Nicholas’ house to apologise for cancelling. It was breaking from our usual Friday-night routine, which he might not like, but having spent the entire night with my sister, talking to her and her lovely nurses, I needed a bit of “me time”, and at this moment in my life that involved Nicholas as well.

When he answered the door, he looked shocked to see me then stood back without a word and ushered me toward the kitchen before disappearing in the direction of his study. What a welcome that was! Perhaps it was a bad time, I thought nervously, but surely he’d have asked me to leave if that was the case, so I decided to stick around for a few minutes and see if he reappeared.

I placed my handbag on the kitchen counter. The delicious scent of freshly brewed coffee hit me, and my mouth started to water instantly. It was just what I needed after my exhausting night. Pouring myself the largest mug I could find, I turned to see Nicholas leaning on the counter behind me. The look on his face told me everything I needed to know – he was majorly pissed that I had cancelled on him last night. And possibly annoyed that I was making myself so at home and stealing his coffee, I thought with a flush.

Just as I was considering telling him about Joanne he took me completely by surprise; stalking forward, pouring himself an equally large mug of coffee, and then casually asking, ‘How’s your sister?’

‘She’s … Hang on, how did you know about Joanne?’ I asked in a shocked whisper.

Relief flooded his usually controlled features. ‘So it’s true, then? You do have a sister at the Oaks Residential Centre?’

‘Yes, but how did you know?’ I repeated, trying to remember if I had ever mentioned her in passing and almost certain that I hadn’t. Not that I was ashamed of her or anything, that wasn’t the case at all. In truth, I tended to avoid talking about Jo because of the guilt it evoked in me.

‘You sounded distracted when you cancelled on me yesterday, and I thought perhaps you were seeing another man,’ he explained simply, without actually answering my question at all.

‘So you followed me?’ I guessed, my tone rising with disapproval.

‘No, of course not!’ Nicholas flushed. ‘I got Mr Burrett to follow you. He called me when you got to the centre and told me where you were going.’

Mutinous thoughts were circling my mind, firstly toward Nicholas for his ridiculously controlling and possessive nature, and secondly about the staff at the Oaks. There was no way they should be breaching patient confidentiality by giving out Joanne’s details over the phone, which was presumably how Nicholas had found out who I was visiting.

As if reading my mind once again, he shook his head. ‘The centre didn’t give anything away; I just got lucky. Mr Burrett saw you through a window meeting with a young woman around your age, so I guessed at sister. Apparently I was right.’

Shit, I had fallen straight into his trap.

‘Why’s she in there?’ he asked softly.

Clutching my coffee, I made my way to the sofa and dropped onto it, keeping my eyes averted from his in case the guilt I felt about my sister’s condition showed in my features. It wasn’t my fault, I reminded myself sharply.
It wasn’t my fault.

‘Jo is two years older than me. Seven years ago, she …’ I paused, floundering for what to say about that horrible day and the month that had followed. ‘There was an …
accident
.’ A chill ran through me, making me shudder, and I gulped at my coffee in an attempt to warm up, even though my shivers had nothing to do with temperature. ‘She suffered a lack of oxygen to the brain that has left her with some issues,’ I finished.

‘Brain damage?’ Nicholas asked gently, and despite the topic, I found myself surprised by just how lovely he was being, completely at odds to his usual domineering persona.

‘Yes.’ My eyes were still trained on the sofa and actually starting to ache from staring so hard. ‘It’s affected the part of her brain that deals with rational thoughts and sensibilities. She has to stick to a routine or she panics, and she gets easily obsessed by things. She freaks out around strangers, and security is a big thing to her, so we decided she’d be better off living in the Oaks.’

‘Wow, I’m sorry, Rebecca. What happened, the accident?’

I felt my entire body tense. I couldn’t tell him that,
wouldn’t
. He’d think I was despicable; I certainly did when I allowed myself to think back to that night, that entire horrible month.

‘I … that’s not something I want to talk about, Nicholas. You have your secrets, and I have mine,’ I added, knowing I sounded bitter but not caring in my exhausted state.

Although he hadn’t seemed happy with my refusal to share my story with him, Nicholas was surprisingly gentle and considerate with me for the following few hours, insisting that I have a snooze on his sofa and stay for the rest of the day.

His gentleness even lasted through an exhausting sex session that he had claimed would make me feel better. Afterwards, instead of dressing and leaving as he usually did, he sat up and gazed down at me with a peculiar expression on his handsome face.

‘Why are you here, Rebecca?’ he asked suddenly, causing me to worry that I’d outstayed my welcome. After all, I’d been here the entire day and it was getting late now. Once again, it crossed my mind that I really should consider getting myself a normal relationship where I didn’t constantly need to be on tenterhooks, but somehow I just couldn’t bring myself to walk away from Nicholas.

‘I don’t mean now specifically,’ he said quickly, seeing the slight panic on my face as I tried to sit up. ‘I mean each week, why do you come here? You don’t strike me as a fuck-buddy kind of girl.’

Oh God, was I that obvious? Nicholas was right, of course, I had always been the relationship type and since starting this …
thing
 … with him, I intrinsically knew that deep down I wanted more. Why else would I have run here today after my heart-wrenching night with Joanne? Not that I was going to admit that to him; it would well and truly scare him off and I was enjoying myself too much for it to end just yet. Maybe I could get away with some light remarks and half-truths to placate him.

‘I come for an amazing piano lesson,’ I said with a shrug and a small smile that I hoped appeared light and humorous.

One of his eyebrows arched high over his browbone as he continued to study me in silence. Apparently, he wanted more detail and was simply going to wait until I provided it.

‘OK, OK, an amazing piano lesson followed by some average sex,’ I remarked casually, but my heartbeat was racing in my chest. You had to be brave to toy with Nicholas Jackson; it was an adrenalin-raising experience.

Watching him carefully, I saw his eyes darken and narrow as something very like annoyance crossed his features. God, he could be so touchy, but perhaps I shouldn’t push him too far. He was an incredibly proud man and joking about his sexual prowess appeared to be pushing him toward the edge. Time for a bit of truth.

Raising my hands in a gesture of surrender, I grinned. ‘Calm down, Nicholas, I was only joking!’
Jeez
, he needed to find his sense of humour.

‘You’re right, I wouldn’t have thought myself a “fuck-buddy” type of girl either,’ I acknowledged, dropping my gaze at my crude phrasing, Nicholas might curse easily, but I very rarely swore out loud, only in my head. Remembering his virtual obsession with eye contact, I raised my eyes as I continued. ‘But I’ll be honest with you, Nicholas. I’m 25 years old and until now the only sex I’ve experienced has been fumbled and pretty lame.’

Pulling the sheet tighter around my waist to give me something to distract myself with, I finally spoke again. ‘Until I met you, I never realised sex could be this good,’ I admitted, watching as his eyes widened marginally at my undisguised compliment, showing a brief lapse in his usually controlled façade. I shrugged and bit my lip. ‘You don’t do relationships and I want to experience some great sex while I can, so that’s why I come here each week,’ I finished in a whisper, pushing aside the tingling sensation of shame that came with my sordid admission, I’d basically just admitted that I was a slut; how shameful. Except for some reason, I didn’t feel shamed. In fact, I sort of felt liberated, especially as I saw Nicholas relax after my statement.

In response, he nodded and a marginally arrogant expression settled on his brows as he climbed from the bed. That was much more normal behaviour for Nicholas. Phew, it appeared I had convinced him of my reasons, for now anyway.