The Dead Series (Book 1): Tell Me When I'm Dead (17 page)

“This is Caramel,” Guthrie said. “Honey, meet the guys.”

Again we exchanged greetings, then sat at the large kitchen table made from unfinished pine. As we talked, I couldn’t take my eyes off Guthrie’s beard. I tried imagining him eating soup.

“I appreciate you helping us out,” Landry said as Caramel set out the tea for us.

“Thanks, darlin’,” Guthrie said, squeezing Caramel’s hand, then slapping her on the butt as she returned to the kitchen. “So, Dave. Irwin tells me you need to find your wife over in Tres Marias.”

“I’m hoping that’s where she is. This tea smells interesting.”

“It’s jasmine,” Caramel said as she joined us at the table.

“These are bad times,” Guthrie said. “Seems like you can’t go for a walk anymore.”

“Can I ask what you folks do out here?” Ben said. It was a question I’d been dying to ask.

“We grow pot,” Guthrie said. Ben almost did a spit take. “Purely for our own consumption, of course. And a few friends.” He and Caramel gazed at each other like teenagers.

“Is that why the house is camouflaged?” Aaron said.

“That and the fact that we’re pretty much done with people. Present company excepted, people are no damn good. Right, honey?”

“What if someone tries to break in and …” As I said this, two nearly identical men who looked as if they’d stepped out of a
Spartacus
episode strode in, both armed with AR-15s.

“These are my sons, Jerry and Frank,” Guthrie said. “Named after the two greatest musicians who ever lived.”

Caramel, who looked like a doll next to the giants, scooted over and hugged them. “Are you boys hungry?”

Landry swallowed the last of his tea and stood. “So let’s have a look at that cache,” he said.

We left our tea and followed Guthrie to the back of the house. We had to step past a pack of maowing cats.

“Jerry and Frank?” I said to Landry.

“After Jerry Garcia and Frank Zappa.”

“Way before my time.”

I looked out a window and found Caramel outside watering a fruit tree and smoking a joint the size of a Cuban cigar. One of her sons patrolled along the perimeter.

Guthrie got out a set of keys and unlocked a steel door that stood in a heavy steel doorframe. “This is it,” he said.

We found ourselves in the middle of a thirty-by-thirty room filled with hydroponic equipment. Hundreds of marijuana plants were suspended all around under bright lights. But that wasn’t the amazing part. All along the walls were
weapons
. There were rifles, shotguns, AK-47s, AR-15s and other powerful hardware.

“Are you kidding me?” I said.

“When it all goes down, we’ll be ready,” Guthrie said.

“Is this stuff legal?” Aaron said, picking up a worn Uzi.

We stared at Aaron. Red-faced, he put the weapon back.

“One thing I
will
warn you about,” Landry said as he examined a shotgun. “And they don’t talk about this in the movies. These weapons are heavy
without
any ammo. So choose wisely.”

“Seriously, Guthrie?” I said, picking up a Rambo-like weapon.

“MGL six-shot grenade launcher. Bought that from an ex-cop I know in Arizona,” he said, handing it to me. “Unfortunately it only came with one crate of grenades. Got to make those last.”

Poring over the weapons, I found a strange-looking long gun.

“Good choice,” Guthrie said. “That’s a Kel-Tec KSG twelve-gauge shotgun.”

“It’s so short.”

“Yep, it’s a bullpup.”

“I like it.”

The twins helped us load the truck and motor home with weapons and ammo. As we got ready to leave, Landry embraced Guthrie and Caramel.

“Can’t thank you both enough.”

“Happy to help,” Guthrie said. “Strange times, my friend.”

I walked over to shake hands. “Do these undead bother you way out here?”

“Nope. Smell of the cannabis, I guess. Who knows.”

“You take care,” Landry said. Then to us, “Back to my place for some target practice.”

“So how do you know them?” I said as we drove back.

“Guthrie and I go way back,” Landry said. “High school, in fact.”

“You guys were high-school friends?”

“When we turned eighteen, I went to college and he went to Viet Nam. When he got back, he was totally changed. Like a lot of guys back then.”

“What about Caramel?”

“I think he met her at a McGovern rally.”

“Who?”

“Never mind.”

We grabbed our weapons and waited near our vehicles. Though I was comfortable with my axe, I felt safer with the Kel-Tec. Landry surprised us by selecting an AK-47, and Aaron chose a handgun. Ben stuck with his Remington shotgun. We didn’t know what Landry had in mind. I was thinking cans and bottles sitting on an old wood fence. He thought otherwise.

As we waited nervously, Landry unlocked the gate to the fenced enclosure. Though I’d already shot a couple of these things, the thought of gunning down what was left of my mother-in-law did not sit well.

“Wait,” Ben said. “I mean, we’re just going to … shoot them?”

“They’re not human, Ben,” Landry said.

“But there are laws, dammit!”

“Ben, I appreciate what you’re saying. But if we’re going to survive, we have to be able to kill these things on sight without hesitation. It’s the way it is. And we need to be quick because the gunfire will attract more of them.”

Ben looked at his son. “Are you good with this?”

“Dad, I don’t … It’s like he said. We need to protect ourselves. What else can we do?”

“No, this is bullshit,” Ben said, and fell back.

Landry looked at Aaron and me. “You have to try for the head. I know. I must’ve killed around twenty-five or thirty so far. It’s the only thing that stops them.”

“This isn’t right,” Ben said, standing defiantly under a tree.

Landry ignored him and continued. I can still hear him saying these words. They became my playbook for survival.

“Each of us has to be capable of doing this, either to save ourselves or another in the group. This is not a movie or a video game. It’s real life. There won’t be time to think. You must respond quickly, which means you need to be observant. We don’t want innocent people being shot. Remember. Observe, assess and act. No hesitation. No remorse.”

Aaron looked at his dad, who refused to meet his eyes.

“There are eight plus that one dying on the ground in there,” Landry said. “It shouldn’t be too hard for the three of us to finish the job.”

“What if we get bitten?” Aaron said.

“Rule number one, don’t get bitten.”

Landry swung the gate wide open. Sensing freedom, the undead headed for the opening as he fell back and raised his weapon.

“Pick your target and fire when they come out.”

“I can’t do Irene,” I said to Aaron.

“I’ll take her. You take that ugly son of a bitch next to her.”

We fired, trying to hit them in the head before they got too close. We found ourselves backing away as they picked up speed.

Aaron took careful aim and shot Irene through her open, toothless mouth. A sharp pain tore through my heart as she collapsed to her knees and fell on her face, truly dead.

After a few seconds, seven of the eight were down. Aaron aimed for what looked like a truck driver. He winged it in the shoulder, then shot it through the neck. Still the thing kept coming. Then Aaron realized he was out.

“Oh shit! Oh shit!” Aaron said, his hands flailing at the weapon.

A blast tore through the side of the truck driver’s head, and it went down like a load of cement. We turned to find Ben lowering his weapon.

“Rule number two,” Landry said, “always have another weapon.”

“And somebody watching your back,” Ben said.

“Right. I think we’re ready.” Landry went into the enclosure and delivered a headshot to the creature lying motionless on the ground.

We loaded the motor home and my truck with supplies, planning to head out before noon. The cat ran up to Landry as he was getting into my truck. I didn’t want that thing anywhere near me.

“What about the cat?” I said.

“She was a stray when I found her. She knows how to take care of herself. Probably better than all of us.”

Relieved, I fired up the engine, and we hit the road.

“I notice you still have the axe,” Landry said, glancing at the backseat.

“Guns jam. That’s my backup weapon.”

“Good choice.”

I wasn’t sure if I’d ever see Holly again. We were in Hell, and all I cared about was finding her alive. I put out of my mind the thought that she might very well be among the undead, and I kept in front of me her face and her smile.

That image was all I had to keep me going.

I shouldn’t have taken
the freeway. As we got closer to Tres Marias, the traffic hardened to the point we could no longer move.

“Looks like they’ve started,” Landry said.

I put the truck in park, got out and climbed into the bed. Ben’s motor home was behind me. I tried peering over the lines of vehicles, which looked to span over a mile. Then I jumped down and ran back towards Ben and Aaron.

“What’s the deal?” Ben said.

“They’re diverting traffic off the freeway. All I can see are flashing lights and police cars everywhere.”

“We should’ve taken that last exit.”

I looked back. The traffic had closed in, so now we were stuck. As I got back into the truck, Landry looked grim.

“Chances are they’ve quarantined the whole town. Not sure how we get back in.”

“We’re getting in,” I said.

We sat for thirty minutes or so. Then we began to inch forward. The left lanes had been coned off, and we were being gradually forced to the right, down to a single lane. As we made our way over, we heard a deafening noise overhead. I looked up and saw a helicopter with the Black Dragon logo swoop past, flying incredibly low. From what I could make out, all the soldiers aboard it were armed.

“This just got serious. Why didn’t they call in the National Guard?”

“I don’t know,” Landry said. “But they might have set up an evac center. Your wife could be there.”

As we reached the bottom of the off-ramp, soldiers directed everyone under the overpass towards the freeway entrance taking them north again. The first chance I got, I shot out from behind a minivan and headed towards what looked like a military checkpoint.

Several Humvees were parked there, surrounded by Black Dragon troops with AR-15s. These guys must have been on high alert, because when Landry and I got out, we were greeted by nervous men with guns. We approached them, our hands raised.

“Whoa!” I said. “We’re trying to get some information.”

The soldier in charge nodded towards the others, and they lowered their weapons. “You need to keep moving, sir,” he said. He didn’t look like he was in the mood for chitchat.

“I understand,” I said as I lowered my hands, “but I’m looking for my wife. Is there an evacuation center? Please, I need to find her.”

He looked at Landry and me for a time, then at Ben’s motor home, which had parked alongside the truck.

“They’re with us,” I said.

“Let me see your IDs.” Landry and I handed over our driver’s licenses. “What’s your wife’s name?”