The Desert Castle (13 page)

‘
N
ot like that
!
’
Nobody had ever made her feel so aware of their presence in a room before that
she
would have
kn
own they were there if she had been struck both deaf and blind.
‘
Why don
’
t you like me
?
’
The words confused her by their stark brevity. It wasn
’
t the kind of thing one asked, and now she knew why. Whatever he
s
aid could only add to the burden of pain she
had carried since first meeting
him.

‘
Liking is too tame for you, too indifferent. You can
’
t expect many men to like you until you
’
re an old, old woman, my dear.
’

H
er eyes opened wide, her heart hammering against her ribs.
‘
I think that
’
s a compliment,
’
she said. And then, when he didn
’
t contradict her,
‘
I wish I were taller and as sophisticated as a dry Martini
!
’

H
is glance swept over her, raising her colour as she wished the words unsaid.
‘
I might
like
you then,
’
he agreed.
‘
If it
’
s liking you really want
?
’

S
he shrugged her shoulders.
‘
What else?
’

‘
From me
?
’
He considered the matter.
‘
I could think of one or two things, but I don
’
t think you
’
re ready to hear about them.
’
He laughed suddenly.
‘
Some people think a taste for dry Martinis is rather old-fashioned nowadays,
’
he told her.

‘
Do you
?
’
The words were out before she had thought what their impact might be.
‘
I mean—
’

‘
Cocktails were never to my taste,
’
he answered her.
‘
I prefer the desert and the simple life.
’

Y
et he had found her too unsophisticated to bother with again after she had accused him of playing games with her. But then there was more than one meaning to the word “simple”. It could mean that it wasn
’
t capable of being analysed, and that meaning suited Gregory very well. She didn
’
t think she
’
d ever get to the bottom of him if she were to stay in his castle all her life—

S
he took a quick intake of breath.
‘
Oh, look
!
’
she said.
‘
Is
this
where Moses died
?
’

‘
It
’
s where he
’
s alleged to have made his last gesture towards the Promised Land,
’
he confirmed. He parked the Land Cruiser in the lee of a wall and came round to her side, lifting her bodily out into the boisterous wind.
‘
You
’
d better hang on to my hand,
’
he bade her.
‘
We don
’
t want you to blow away
!
’

M
oses
’
spirit had retained a violence that was enough
to flatten most of his visitors to the ground.

‘
Is it always like this
?
’
Marion gasped

‘
I
t always has been every time I
’
ve come here. Come and look over the edge and see if you think it was worth spending forty years in the wilderness to get there.
’

T
he hills fell in folds down the valley below, which was green but which she doubted had ever been the rich pastureland that was implied in the description of a land flowing with milk and honey. Gregory pointed out Jerusalem and Jericho to her, and she was able to see the Dead Sea for herself, dominating the view, the lowest spot on earth, and the beginning of the great rift in the earth
’
s surface that had buried Sodom and Gomorrah and which spread right down through East Africa to Malawi in the south.

‘
I
always felt sorry for Moses,
’
she said,
‘
but I don
’
t any longer. I
’
d be quite content to die in a place like this.
’

‘
Away from England and the people you love best?
’

‘
I
’
d find someone to love out here,
’
she declared, positive that it would be so.

‘
Could you
?’
he insisted.
‘
Wouldn
’
t you pine at all?
’

She shook her head.
‘
It
’
s rather awful, isn
’
t it? There must be all sorts of things I
’
d miss, but I feel quite at home here. It has a familiar feel. I can
’
t explain any better than that
!
’
The wind, tearing at her clothes, blew her words away and she was almost sure he hadn
’
t heard her. It didn
’
t matter. Why should he care whether she felt at home here or not?

‘
What about your mother?
’
he mouthed at her.

I
t was a shock that she hadn
’
t considered her mother at all.
‘
I make a poor substitute for my father. He was her whole life. She
’
s bored as well as lonely without him.
’

‘
That
’
s what I thought,
’
he said.

M
arion went a little nearer to the edge, meeting the
full force of the wind as she stepped out of Gregory
’
s wake. She felt quite dizzy for a moment and when she felt his strong hands on her shoulders, anchoring her down, she was conscious only of relief that he was still there.

She turned her head and smiled at him. He looked as secure as the Rock of Gibraltar standing there and she found herself wishing that she had some right to his continued care. She could not recollect that she had ever wanted to lean on anyone else
’
s strength before, not even her father who had had strong ideas about women being as independent as their brothers nowadays and who would have told her sternly that she had two quite adequate feet of her own to stand on. And so she had. She had received an education that had been every bit as good as it would have been if she had been the much desired son both her parents had wanted; and that, coupled with her own ability, meant that she was earning as much if not more
than
most of her contemporaries. But Gregory Randall could outdistance her in every field, and that was a novelty in itself.

‘
What is your Promised Land
?
’
she asked
him.

His answer was as unexpected as she had half known it would be.
‘
O my America
!
my new-found-land
.
’
He
looked amused.
‘
I
’
ll settle for that.
’

S
he had placed the quotation at once as co
ming
from John Donne, but it seemed to her to be quite out of context.
‘
But he was talking about a woman,
’
she objected. And more intimately than most clerics would have done, she could have added.

‘
So was I,
’
Gregory told her.

‘
Oh
!
’
she said, shocked, and then
again,
‘
Oh
!
’

‘
You shouldn
’
t jump to conclusions,
’
he rebuked her.
‘
You did say my
promised
land, not one I already had in my possession.
’

H
e was being flippant, she knew, but she couldn
’
t laugh it off as she would have done with anyone else.
What wom
an
?
Did he mean Denise? Or had he changed his mind about Judith? Or was it someone she had never heard of? Whoever it was, she hated her with a viciousness that was quite foreign to her usual sunny nature.

‘
I hope she
’
s worth it,
’
she
said out loud. She wriggled her shoulders under his hands.
‘
How do you know
she
won
’
t bore you after a while
?
’

H
is fingers bit into her flesh.
‘
Never! I may wring her neck out of sheer exasperation, but I don
’
t expect to be bored—
’

S
he shook herself free and walked away from him, back to the safety of the wall of the terrace where Moses was supposed to have stood.
‘
I hope you won
’
t be
!
’
Her voice
s
aid she hoped he would be bored stiff, but she couldn
’
t help that.
‘
She
’
ll probably expect you to join the jet-set and won
’
t be in the least bit interested in your boo
k
s!
’

H
e put his
hands
on his hips and he laughed at her, his face creasing into lines of amusement that made her crosser than ever.

‘
Well, if you don
’
t like my Promised Land, what is yours?
’
he challenged her.

S
he had no answer ready for him. How could she have? It came
i
nto her mind that she had no ambitions for conquest
i
n her own right. She wanted someone to take the trouble to conquer her, if conquest there had to be. She wanted to be
his
land, and to give up the riches
within
her to
him
in the mock battle of love. She stared at him with puzzled eyes.

‘
I
’
ll never reach my Promised Land,
’
she said.
‘
I
’
m more like Moses than I knew. Did you know he stammered
?
’
she added on a forlorn note.
‘
He was afraid people would laugh at him when he spoke to them, so God told him to take Aaron to speak for him.
’
She could have done with an Aaron now, someone with a golden voice, who could speak for her, hiding the discovery
she
had just made about herself from Gregory
’
s observant eyes. She simply could not bear it if he were ever to feel sorry for her!

‘
You should have more faith,
’
he told her.
‘
Do you want to see the old church over there, or shall we go on to the Dead Sea
?
’

S
he chose to go on. She was no longer in the mood for sightseeing. More than anything she wanted to go home and have time to bury her discovery so deeply within herself that it would never be found again. And going home meant going back to Gregory
’
s castle. It never even crossed her mind that it could mean anywhere else. If she had, she would have despaired that she could be so irrational as to suppose that the best place to hide from Gregory was in his own private stronghold in the middle of the desert, the one place where she couldn
’
t get away from
him.