The Destroyer Book 2 (35 page)

I devoted the early mornings to myself. The air was just above freezing and sometimes a fine layer of frost coated the long grass and tops of the oak trees. It wasn't as cold as in the North of course, but my lungs still burned when I did my morning exercise routine of rope climbing, pushups, and squats.

The squats were the most difficult. My injured leg did not have a full range of motion. Gerald thought that I would never be able to walk correctly again and he would be horrified to see me attempting these movements. Whatever Ancient blood I had did seem to help me heal a bit faster, so I hoped that the exercise might strengthen the shredded muscles. Fortunately, the wound was no longer infected and there was no danger of losing the limb.

We had moved our campsite six times in the last three weeks and the strategy kept us safe from Losher patrols. We also managed seven successful raids against farm houses and supply wagons that provided munitions to the camped army.

It was the two failures that still bothered me. The first happened a few days after I took command of Nia's forces. We had completed our first sortie, and I became too confident. We raided a caravan delivering grain to one of the Losher satellite camps between the Teeth Mountains and Nia. The raid went successfully as well, but our escape collided with a scouting brigade. We lost fifty of our one hundred and forty-four men.

The second failure was the last mission. Two dozen highly trained soldiers infiltrated the Losher camp in the dead of night to assassinate one of the tribal leaders and then plant evidence in a competitor's tent. We'd spent almost every waking hour over the past three weeks perfecting the plan, selecting the troops, and training. They departed three nights ago. They should have returned within half a day. I assumed they were dead.

It was my fault, and although I didn't know exactly where the failure took place, I had been overconfident and attempted too bold a move. Now Losher would be sure of our existence and would hunt our army.

"There should be a guard with you," Runir said from below me. I fought back a sudden gasp and almost lost the grip on my rope. My mind had been so occupied with my thoughts that I did not hear him approach.

"I like to spend time alone exercising." I climbed down the rope carefully in between words.

"Yes, I know. As would anyone else that spends more than a few days observing our camp and you. Your time isn't your own any more. If you were to be killed at this point, Nia would be lost forever."

I had started my pushups while he was talking and only managed a grunt. The ground felt cool and soft as my palms pressed into the dark earth by the tree.

"My father has probably reached Brilla by now. How do you think he is faring?"

"This is part of the reason I exercise alone, Runir. I need time to meditate on such things without interruption. If you want to offer me silent support then you may, otherwise I'll see you during our morning meeting." I finished my pushups and began my next set of squats.

"You shouldn't be doing that with your--" he stopped mid-sentence as I shot him a glare. He turned his back on me and climbed the rope. It was a good thing he faced away because I couldn't help but smirk.

Runir had been upset the first week, refusing to talk to me or add any of his thoughts to the tactical meetings I ran. I put him in charge of a few of our successful raids, and he started to speak to me again. It was good to have my friend back, but I broke trust with him and would need time to rebuild our relationship.

"Damn it man, you're on my rope!" I tugged it from the bottom and swung him around a bit. Runir pulled himself up to the branch and smiled at me. I made my way up carefully, slapped the top of the knot, and then worked back to the ground.

"How many more sets?" he shouted from the top.

"Two!" I replied after I began my pushups.

He didn't speak again until my last set of squats. My heart and lungs screamed and I limped around the tree twice to cool my muscles.

"You've changed." His voice floated from the top of the oak.

"Being imprisoned and losing your family will do that." I started my stretching routine, taking care with my injured leg.

"No. I meant before that. For the last couple of years, really."

"What do you mean?" I looked up at him while I stretched my hip flexors.

"You weren't as determined. Whenever I saw you we would run around the castle, have mock fights, and . . . I don't know. You had joy."

"We only saw each other a few times a year. As I recall, I beat the snot out of you in those mock fights." I smiled up at him but he didn't return the grin. "You followed in your father's footsteps and became a soldier. I did my research. We grew into adults. I didn't change."

"Maybe."

I stretched for a few more minutes, letting the silence hang.

"Spit it out then, Runir. Why do you believe I changed?"

"I don't know why. I just think that you did." He glanced down from the branch.

"You must have some sort of suspicion or we wouldn’t be having this conversation. Out with it."

"Okay." He sighed. "But you can't get mad at me. Agreed?" He looked down at me and furrowed his blonde eyebrows. His hair was long enough to tie back now. Along with the beard it made him seem like a warrior from the Northlands. It looked good on him.

"Didn't we just discuss that we aren't children anymore? You know it will make me mad, but you'll say it anyway. Speak."

"He did something to you. It is what I think." He lay on the branch with his face away from the ground.

"Who did something to me?"

"Kaiyer." He practically spat the name.

"What? Are you daft?" Rage built up in my stomach.

"You've been different since you returned with him." His voice grew angry to match mine.

"You just told me that the change has been over the last couple of years! Before Kaiyer was even involved.”

"The last couple of years you spent looking for him. I've seen him do magic. He must have some sort of spell over you to make you act different. This is just my observation. Take it for what you will." He climbed down the rope after he finished speaking.

"How do you think I am different?" I tried to calm myself.

"I just saw the way you looked at him. I've never seen you look at anyone that way." He sighed heavily when he reached the bottom and faced me.

"You shouldn't be jealous of a dead man." I meant to say it in anger, but it choked off at the end of my throat and came out drenched in sadness. My eyes stung a little and I glanced away from my tall friend.

"I wish you would look at me that way," Runir said with a frown as he stepped toward me. I couldn't tell if he noticed how my voice croaked.

"Your logic makes little sense." I tried to change the subject. "You said I had changed over the last few years. Kaiyer only woke half a year ago. How does that fit into your fantasy?" I crossed my arms and scowled at him.

"I'm a soldier." He shrugged and smiled. "I don't understand magic. He could have been manipulating you from wherever you got him."

"I will not talk about this anymore with you. I know what this is really about."

"What is this about?" I realized that he stood very close to me. I was tall for a woman, but the top of my head only came up to his nose so I had to look up at him.

"The usual male bullshit. We've been friends for a long time, so you think you deserve my affection. A new man comes around, and you blame things on him. Kaiyer is dead. You do not have to protect me from my feelings for him. The way I feel about you has nothing to do with him."

"No Nadea. This isn't about that. Of course I am jealous of him, but there is a more powerful emotion I have always felt for you." He stepped closer and put his hands on my shoulders.

Oh shit. How did I get here?

"We need to go to our meeting." I tried to move away but his grip gently held me in place.

"You have to know how I feel about you. How I've always felt about you?" His blue eyes looked down into mine, questioning.

"I know how you feel." I turned my head away from him.

"You know that I love you?" My heart dropped into my stomach. Maybe I should have skipped the exercise this morning. Of course I knew how he felt. It was impossible not to see it. I had ignored it for years, because I did not feel the same way, but valued his friendship. As long as the words remained unspoken, I did not have to hurt him.

"Yes," I answered flatly. I saw confusion slowly cross his handsome face.

"Why didn't you say anything? Do anything? Tell me?"

"I'm sorry. What did you want me to do, Runir? Fall in love with you just because you love me? It doesn’t work that way. Did you not realize that we are in the middle of a war?" I managed to pry his big hands off of my shoulders.

"You could have told me you knew. You could have shared your feelings with me."

"And you could have developed a backbone and told me yourself, and not used Kaiyer as subterfuge."

"Nadea, you deserve happiness. I can give you happiness if you will let me." I could tell he had practiced this speech. He probably rehearsed it in his head, like a playwright testing dialogue.

"Can we sit? My leg is throbbing." I pointed over to the tree. I knew that I was going to have to put an end to this now and somehow salvage our friendship. Luckily, I had practiced my own rebuttal many times as well.

"Of course, I'll carry you." He reached for me but I shook my head and limped over to the enormous oak. I found a thick root to sit on and admired the view of the camp for a minute while Runir gathered his thoughts.

"I've been putting this conversation off for a long time."

"I don't like where this is going." He sighed.

"You knew we were going to have this talk, or you would have told me about your feelings sooner." I chuckled.

"No! I was just waiting for the right moment."

"And this?" I said pointed to the tents a few hundred yards from the tree. "Is your idea of the right moment?" I looked away from his downcast eyes and back to the camp.

"I don't have a problem with women. I'm the son of Maerc, I am practically royalty, I'm handsome, confident, charming, and one of the best warriors in the kingdom."

"Don't forget humble," I said to him with a smile.

"I was making a point. Women fall all over themselves when I enter a room, and I've received offers of marriage from various noble houses. I've courted scores of women in the past five years, visited their estates, met with their families, I--"

"You are going somewhere with this? I'm getting a little bored hearing about your exploits." I gave him one of my smirks.

"My point is that none of them held a candle to you, Nadea. None of them were as intelligent, tough, beautiful, or even had a scrap of your personality. I thought that one of the available women in the kingdom, any one of them, could take my mind off of you. None of them did. All I want is you; all I've ever wanted is you, Nadea." He looked down at his lap when he finished and let out a sigh. I was about to comment when he spoke again.

"I was mad when you usurped the army from Maerc, because I felt that you betrayed my trust. The event alienated my father from the woman whom I planned to spend the rest of my life with." He glanced over to judge my reaction but I held a straight face. "But then I realized that this was just another quality about you that I loved. I always knew there was something different about you. The crying when my father interrogated you about your heritage and the king's letter, I am guessing that was a ruse?" I nodded and tried not to smile.

"We both fell for it. I should have known you had a trick tucked away. When we were children you would always bend the rules to beat me. That's why Nanos never wanted to play with you. I'd never seen you cry unless you were tricking us to win at some game. I should have suspected that it wasn't real."

His mention of Nanos brought back the memory of the young man standing over his dead father, holding a bloody blade. Anger and resentment mingled with satisfaction on his smug face. When we were children he followed Runir and me around whenever I visited the castle. The prince always whined when he didn't win any of the mock battles or hiding games we played with the other kids, so he became someone that I tried to avoid during my visits.

"But that is just another part of you that I love, Nadea. You create your own situations. You convinced the king not to marry you off and instead support you in this quest to find Kaiyer. You managed to locate the man, resurrect him, and bring him to the kingdom. You were rumored to be crazy; the gossip in the kingdom about you, your father, and the king was not pretty. But you proved them all wrong." He looked down at his lap again and didn't speak for a few minutes.

I leaned back against the tree and gazed up through the branches. The sun had risen and was burning off the thin layer of fog that hid the top most branches. Did oak trees twist and bend because of the years stacked on them? Or did bending and twisting allow them to survive all those years?

"My father told me how he found me when I was ten years old, I think, somewhere around that age. Even then, I knew what I wanted to do with my life. Can you guess?" I asked Runir.