The Destroyer Book 3 (24 page)

What I had really meant was that I wished she could have been my mother.

"Me as well." He began walking up the street and I quickly followed.

"I can almost hear her voice now; she would be trying to help me see the best side of things. 'Bell, you may have lost your kingdom, your brother, your daughter, but at least you are spending some quality time with your niece.'" He chuckled to himself and we walked for the next five minutes in silence.

The break in our conversation gave me time to think about my uncle, Nadea, and my own family. I had always been somewhat jealous of my cousin and the feeling crept into my chest again, like a pain from sleeping the wrong way. It was a foolish comparison. I'm sure Nadea would rather have a mother that was alive, than one that only her father could tell her about. Yet I was also jealous of Nadea for other reasons. I knew that my father loved me, and he treated me the same as I believed Beltor treated his daughter. But when my father had been alive, most of his day was taken by various matters of the kingdom. I spent time with him every week or so. But Beltor took a personal interest in his daughter and the two were so much closer than my father and I.

"We are here." Beltor's voice pulled me away from my thoughts and the tiring climb up the stairs that seemed to be mistakenly considered a street. I looked up at the nondescript building and read the sign over the door.

Mariettia

Midwife, Herbalist, and Healer

"You made this whole walk seem like it was an option." I turned to him and smiled.

"I figured that if you had the choice of staying with your mother or coming with me, you would choose the latter."

Do we have an appointment?"

"No. But we have coin. It will bypass any appointment." I nodded and followed him to the whitewashed door. It was painted with a stylized impression of a pregnant woman in peach. Beltor held the door for me and I walked inside. The entryway was guarded by thick bushes of peppermint, rosemary, and sage that crowded up my nose in a friendly fashion. The inside of the shop was lit by oil lamps and a few fat bunches of sage set like torches into the wall and burning with a fragrant smoke. Rows of bookshelves lined almost every open space, but only a few ledges in the corner actually held books. The rest of the shelves were filled with neatly organized terracotta pots, cloth bags, and amber glass jars holding various powders and oils. Paper labels indicated in neatly scribed handwriting what type of medicine each stowed.

A series of gentle chimes struck the door and announced to the proprietor that we had entered. The sound made me relax. I took a deep breath of the herb-infused air and released it before my uncle closed the door behind us and made the bells ring again.

"Be out in a second," a woman's voice called from a back room. Beltor sniffed the contents of a tiny clay jar and then snorted in disgust, quickly putting it away before the sounds of small footsteps grew louder.

"How can I help you?" a woman, maybe only six or eight years older than me, asked from behind a wood table supported by a stone shelf. She was a little shorter than me and had curly brown hair that fell past her sunburnt face to her shoulders.

Beltor opened his mouth to speak but then looked at me with an eyebrow raised.

"I believe I am with child," I whispered, telling my secret to anyone besides my uncle seemed like it should have made me more afraid. But I didn't know this woman, she didn't know me, and I needed her expertise.

"I've been told it happens to us. Would this be your first child?" I nodded and couldn't help but bite my lip. "When was the last time you had your moon flow?"

"Yaha was empty. Alta was three quarters full." I had answered the same question from my uncle half a dozen times. The woman hummed to herself and then walked around her table.

"Come walk with me into the back room." She looked to Beltor. "Are you the father?"

"No. I am her uncle." The question shocked me a little but Beltor seemed unfazed, as if he anticipated the assumption. To me the idea was ludicrous and the suggestion almost angered me. My uncle was obviously so much older than me, and the idea was repulsive as we were related. But I reasoned that this woman knew nothing of our relationship, and it was not uncommon for much older men to impregnate younger women, joined or not. It would be better if the father of my child was the one bringing me here, I thought bitterly.

"Well then, Uncle. There is a sign by the door that says: 'Closed,' please hang it on the handle, lock the door, and take a seat over there in the corner. There is a small burner and a pot of water if you wish to make yourself some tea." She pointed to a corner where a few worn but comfortable looking chairs sat next to a kettle and some earthen mugs. Beltor nodded and looked a little relieved that he need not involve himself further in these female matters.

The room she led me to was as neatly organized as the front of the store. It had a tidy cot, water pump, washing basin, and every wall was packed with medicinal agents in their various containers. Another door led to the rear garden. A single, wide window illuminated the room through lightly frosted glass tinted in pale blue.

"Sit on the bed, please. What is your name, dear?" She reached up on a shelf and grabbed a jar without even looking at her hand.

"Jess." I returned the woman's smile. I couldn't help but like her because of the comfortable way she grinned. She wasn't that much older than Nadea, but her smile was so supportive and caring. I felt at ease letting her take charge as she gave the impression that she was both very capable and very caring.

"I am Mariettia, it is nice to meet you, Jess. Have you experienced any pain?" She grabbed a glass from another shelf and poured a careful amount of greenish powder into it from the other jar.

"No."

"You sure? Nothing in the lower back, breasts, or your stomach?" Mariettia took a long silver spoon and carefully stirred some water from the pump into the glass with the green stuff.

"We've been riding for the last few days to get here. I am sore from that." I sighed.

"Any nausea or vomiting?"

"No." I frowned as she handed the glass to me. It looked like swamp water and didn't smell much better.

"Drink all of that for me, please." she prompted me with a smile that showed she knew how awful it would taste.

I choked down the foul liquid. It was a mixture of a grass flavor, a sandy texture, and a stifling smell. My stomach almost instantly tried to reject it but I swallowed an air bubble and gasped in displeasure. She grabbed the glass from my hand and rinsed it off with a pump.

"Do you feel more tired than usual?" She asked as she wetted her hands at the pump and then washed them with a bar of soap she took from a dish.

"It is hard to tell. I haven't been able to sleep because of the riding." She nodded and set down the glass on a shelf. “How about your sense of smell? Noticing that it is growing stronger? More sensitive?”

I shook my head. I was starting to fear my lack of symptoms. Beltor had tried to reassure me that not being nauseated did not mean anything, but he could not disguise his anxious looks when I told him that I felt fine. And it seemed there were no other indications I was pregnant either. But I had to be. We had made love so many times, and my moon flow was gone. And I wanted this so badly. I refused to let the thoughts of what Jiure had done enter my mind.

"Lie down on the bed please, Jess." She pointed at the cot and I leaned back onto the fabric of the cover. The cloth was cool against my head and smelled of mint. I was suddenly overcome with exhaustion and my body relaxed. After what I thought was a minute she began lightly rubbing around the front of my neck with her fingertips.

"Where is the father?" Mariettia lifted my left hand and felt my pulse at the wrist.

"He is in the capital," I whispered.

"I see." Her hands moved down to my stomach and gently continued to push there against the thin fabric of my dress. "Have you been under more stress than you are used to?"

I thought carefully before I answered.

"Yes. I haven't had a very difficult life. I am not used to worrying so much."

"Since he went to Nia?" She raised an eyebrow.

"I've been worried since he left, yes. I am more worried now with this gift coming. I know he is okay, but I miss him as much as I miss my father."

"Your father went to Nia also?" She rubbed on the sides of my hips where the bones were. It made my body relax even more. I recalled how Kaiyer would sometimes touch me after our lovemaking but then I forced the image out of my head. I didn't want to become aroused while this woman touched me and spoke about my father.

"No. He died."

"Recently?"

"A few weeks before my mate left to go to Nia. We heard that my father may have died. He set off to see if it was true or if any other family members had escaped the city."

The woman hummed in acknowledgement and then moved her hands down to my thin leather boots. She took them off and examined my ankles and the ball of my foot.

“I need to do an internal examination. I will leave the room, please remove your dress and any undergarments and put on this gown.” She handed me a thin cotton shift with a loose neckline.

I nodded and stood up from the cot nervously. She exited the room and I stood there alone breathing deeply for a moment before shakily undressing. My handmaidens and Kaiyer had been the only people to ever see me naked. All feelings of sleep fled my body as I quickly pulled the dress over my head, unwrapped the tightly-bound cloth I kept over my breasts, and pulled down my undergarments. I neatly folded them and placed them on the floor next to the cot. I slipped on the robe she had left for me, it smelled of the same cool mint as the sheets on the cot. I sat back down, unsure what to do next, but soon she knocked softly on the door.

“Come in,” I said, feeling strange inviting her into her own room. She smiled warmly again as she entered and I felt myself relax. She had a gift for putting others at ease. Perhaps this was why she chose this profession. I imagined it was an extremely valuable trait to women in childbirth. She went to the basin again, washed her hands thoroughly and approached the cot.

"Don't worry Jess. I've done this many times before and had it done to me. I know it is uncomfortable, so it will just take a few seconds. Lie down please?" I nodded and went back into my earlier position. I knew she must do this for my baby but having someone unknown touch me made me uncomfortable.

Her hands pushed gently against each one of my breasts for a few moments. They were warm against my skin so the sensation wasn't completely unpleasant, but I still would have rather them been Kaiyer's hands.

"Spread your legs a little Jess. I'm sorry but this will be a bit uncomfortable." I did as I was told and gritted my teeth when Mariettia's fingers opened my entrance slightly.

My nails dug onto the cloth of the cot and I tried not to scream. It didn't really hurt, but the feeling of her fingers was so invasive, I couldn't stand the sensation. I imagined Kaiyer's face smiling down at me and how beautiful our baby would be. I told myself that I needed to do this to ensure his gift would be healthy. She reached deeper and I tried to concentrate on her face instead of the awkward sensation of her probing me. It was hard to read her face. She did not look alarmed, but not relieved either.

"That is it Jess. Sorry again," she said apologetically. "I just need you to do one last task but you can put your clothes back on." I nodded. "Take this bottle outside." She handed me a wide mouthed glass jar with a handle on its side. The container reminded me of something Greykin would drink from. "There is toilet in my garden. The mixture I gave you is a slight diuretic and will make you pee. Please try to fill the whole jar."

"Okay."

She exited the room and I let out a deep breath. I removed the shift she had given me and stared down at my belly. The bruises from Jiure had faded to an odd yellow-green color that almost blended into my skin, but I would never forget the pain and fear he had left me with.

“You okay in there?” I said softly. I ran my hands over my belly wishing I could caress the little baby, reassure it and hold it now. My eyes burned and I fought to hold back tears. I did not know that anything was wrong, but I had a terrible feeling. Mariettia had been so kind, but she had done nothing to reassure me. I put my clothes back on and inhaled deeply. I refused to cry yet. I refused to admit that it was possible something was wrong with our baby.

I clutched the glass to my chest and walked out the other door.

The garden was as organized as the inside of the shop, with neat rows of bushes, plants, vines, and ceiling trellises that supported hanging fruits and roots. A tall fence surrounded the small plot of land and gave a sense of calm serenity. In one corner of the fence was a clay toilet that had a hanging curtain of oil cloth above it for even more privacy. I stepped into the corner, lowered the curtain, and then went about the task of filling up the jar.

"Thank you," Mariettia said when I returned. "I let your uncle know that you are still okay. He is waiting quite patiently." I nodded and watched her take the jar and pour my urine into six smaller glass dishes. Each one was a quarter full with herbs that were slightly different shades of ivory.