The Disappearance of Ember Crow (2 page)

His flawless features showed no emotion, which meant nothing. He was good at hiding what he felt. He’d had to be, because he’d spent years living among Citizens, concealing the air-controlling ability that would’ve got him thrown into detention.

“Five weeks ago,” he said, measuring out each word to be sure I’d understand, “Ember went to Gull City. Do you remember that?”

I did. It was almost the last thing that had happened before everything had gone wrong between us, and I’d run to the wolves. “She went to meet someone?” No, that wasn’t quite right. She’d gone to
find
someone. “The Serpent?”

Georgie clapped her hands together. “That’s right, Ash!”

There were two pictures in my head. A clear one of a huge snake, and a much hazier one of a tall man. My brain was insisting that they were
both
the Serpent. Only how could they be? Then I realised. There really was a giant snake, an ancient spirit who lived in a lake in the forest. But the man … the man, Ember had invented.
She made up a rebel, and we called him the Serpent
.

I dredged up the knowledge I needed. Our imaginary rebel was trying to overthrow the Citizenship Accords, the law that made anyone born with an ability an “Illegal”. Our abilities were supposed to make us a threat to the Balance, the harmony of the world. Most Illegals were locked up in detention centres, except for those few whose abilities were considered “benign” enough to be given an Exemption from the Accords. Or the ones who ran away, like us. We’d started rumours about the “Serpent” to give the government someone else to chase besides the Tribe.

Recently, though, we’d heard stories that some guy claiming to be the Serpent had started appearing at rallies against the Citizenship Accords. So Ember had gone to Gull City to check it out.

“She was supposed to be back ages ago! Why didn’t anyone go after her?”

“I
did
go after her,” Daniel answered patiently. “When she didn’t come back after a couple of weeks, I Ran to the storage unit.” He paused, eyeing me, and added, “Ah – that is, I used my ability, which lets me run very fast–”

“I know what your ability is,” I informed him with wolfish dignity. Although it did take a moment for the words “storage unit” to mean anything to me.
The one that belongs to Daniel’s Grandma Bessie, which we use as a place to hide in Gull City
. “Ember wasn’t there?”

“No. She left a note saying she was fine and not to go searching for her.”

I muddled my way through that. It was dangerous for Ember to go off alone. Only not as dangerous as it used to be. Because … because … oh, yes! Things were better for Illegals now. Belle Willis, a reformer, had recently been elected Prime of Gull City and she’d cut back on all the enforcer patrols and the spot Citizenship checks. Besides which, Ember had an entirely genuine Citizenship tattoo, so even if she got checked, she’d pass. Like Connor, she’d managed to fool an Assessor into thinking she didn’t have an ability.

“She might not really be missing,” I said. “She might be doing, I don’t know, Ember stuff!” I liked that idea. Cheered up, I expanded upon it. “Didn’t she say before she left that she might try to contact some old friends of her dad? People who are involved in the reform movement?”

“We thought that too,” Georgie chimed in. “Until the dog came.”

“The
what
?”

“The dog. I think he’s a labrador.”

I was confused again, only this time it wasn’t in an I-was-a-wolf-and-now-I’m-not kind of way. It was more of a comfortable, familiar kind of way, as if it was usual for Georgie to not make any sense.

She continued, totally unaware that she was confusing me, and that was normal too. “The dog brought the stone.” She nudged Daniel. “Show her!”

Daniel reached into his pocket and held out a small grey rock. “This was in a canister attached to the dog’s collar.”

I darted over to snatch up the stone, before retreating to the tree.

“Do you understand what it is?” Connor asked.

“Yeah. A rock.”

“No, it’s–”

“I’m kidding. I know what it is.”

He gave me a look that was somewhere between exasperation and hurt.
Stupid, Ashala
. Only I didn’t know how to act around him, what to say. It had been easier being a wolf.

I focused on the stone, which was at least something I could deal with. Ember’s ability meant that she could manipulate memories, including sharing them between people by putting a memory into – well, anything. The last time she’d done it, she’d used river stones. Exactly the same as the one I was holding.

I rolled the rock between my fingers. It wasn’t giving me one of her memories or anyone else’s – not yet. She had locked away whatever fragment of a life the stone held with a password, as she had before.

“Has anyone activated it?”

Georgie shook her head. “We didn’t understand the note.”

“What note?”

Daniel reached into his pocket again, pulling out a folded piece of paper. “We figured it was meant for you, Ash.”

I unfolded it eagerly, only to find it was covered in strange scratchings that I couldn’t understand. Words. They were words. I’d forgotten how to read. I glared at the note until the scratchings finally made sense.
Do you remember the story of the girl who wanted to die?

“Do you know what she means?” Georgie asked.

“I think so. Give me a minute, okay?”

I edged back, leaning against the tree and staring at the note. Ember loved her stories. She’d told me, once, about a girl who wanted to die, until someone spoke six words to her that made her want to live instead. I was such an idiot; it had taken me an embarrassingly long time to realise Ember was talking about herself.

When Georgie and I had arrived in the Firstwood four and a half years ago, Ember was already here. A runaway, the same as the rest of us. Only she’d run with her dad, and he’d died on the way to the forest. I thought back to that first conversation, trying to remember exactly what I’d said that had made such a difference to Ember. She’d been heartbroken over losing her dad. And I’d known what it was like to be knocked out by grief, because my little sister had died right before I left Gull City. The difference was that I’d had someone who needed me to get back up again. I’d had Georgie.

And, suddenly, I knew the six words that had made Ember want to live.

I needed space to breathe for this. I glanced at the others, my gaze skittering past Connor to rest somewhere between Georgie and Daniel. “Can you all move away a bit?”

Everyone stepped back and then, when I kept staring, stepped back further still. I slid to the ground, the rock in my hands. The earth was damp, but there was no point in trying to stay on my feet. The memory would be overwhelming; they always were.

Pack Leader padded over and lay down beside me.
I am here
. I wanted to reach out and ruffle his fur. I didn’t. He wasn’t a pet. Instead I nodded at him, and he gave me a toothsome grin in return.

I held the rock up to my mouth, cupping it between my hands.

“You’re not alone,” I whispered. “You’ve got us.”

Energy emanated from the stone, buzzing into my hands, up my arms and spreading through my head.

And I was yanked into a moment in Ember’s life.

I placed the mirror on the ground and sat cross-legged in front of it. The solar lamp to the right of the glass cast enough light through the gloomy interior of the storage unit for me to see my reflection – short red curls, mismatched eyes and a worried expression. This was how Ash would see me when she accessed this memory. I attempted a smile, only rather than making me look less anxious, it made me seem slightly crazed.

Giving up on the smile, I spoke instead. “Hi, Ash. This memory is a message. From me to you. I’m going to give it to Nicky – that’s the dog – to take to you, and it’s to show you … I mean, to tell you …”

My words were tangled, like my emotions and thoughts. I took a moment to unravel some of the knottiness that was twisting my stomach and tried again. “I know you’ve experienced someone else’s memories before, but that was different. The last time you saw small snapshots of Connor’s life. This is … more. You’ll understand every second of what I’m thinking and feeling.”

There, that was better. An explanation. I was good at explanations. I went on in a more confident tone, “It’s like this, Ash. You and I both know that there is no rebel Illegal who calls himself the Serpent, except someone claiming to be that person is appearing at rallies against the Citizenship Accords. And from the descriptions we’ve heard of him, I might know who he is.”

Had I said too much? I didn’t think so, but I was walking a very fine line. If I ran into – I jerked my thoughts away from names. If I ran into certain people, I wanted to be able to say that I hadn’t told Ashala anything about them. Because it was difficult to lie to them. Not impossible, but not easy, and I didn’t want to take any chances.

“Ash, if the Serpent is who I think he is, then there could be these other people around him, and some of them are … they’re bad people. If he’s alone, I’ll, um, sort some things out with him, and be back before you know it. If he’s not …” I stopped speaking, because I had to. My voice had begun to waver in anticipation of how the sentence ended. I completed it silently instead.
If he’s not, I don’t know when I’m coming home
. That was why I was saying goodbye.

Reaching out, I pressed my fingers to the cold glass and called up memories, letting them play out in my head. One memory after another, of things I’d experienced since the day I first met Ashala Wolf. Discovering my connection to the huge black crows that stared beadily down from the trees of the Firstwood. The good times Ash and Georgie and I shared, first with the three of us, and then with others when more Illegals came to the Firstwood. Our triumph over Neville Rose, Chief Administrator of Detention Centre 3. We’d snatched sixteen detainees out from under his nose and exposed his plan to take over the government of Gull City. That had been six months ago now. After that, it seemed as though the Tribe could do anything. I hoped they could. I hoped they’d be all right, if I was really gone forever.

I smiled, a genuine smile this time, for all that happiness. A smile for the forest. For my crows. For my friends. For Ash.

“Look after Nicky, won’t you? And please don’t try to find me. If I stay away, it’s because I’ve chosen to.” She would try, I knew that, but she wouldn’t succeed. At least, not in locating me, although it was inevitable that she’d discover some of the knowledge I’d hoped never to have to share.

The glass in front of me was growing misty. I blinked back the tears. “However this ends, you’re probably going to find out some things about me, and they’re not nice things. But, Ash, even after you know, do you think you could remember the good? And whatever you end up discovering – try to think of me kindly. If you can.”

Blackness. Then light. Dirt. Trees.

I am Ashala, and I am in the Firstwood
.

That much was clear. Nothing else was.

What did she mean, “not nice things”? And how could she have hidden her suspicions about the man claiming to be the Serpent?

“Ash?”

Georgie’s voice. I stared past Pack Leader to where Connor and Daniel and Georgie stood. Their faces were better than a mirror for showing me a reflection; I could measure exactly how bad I looked by the flare of concern in their eyes, the way Connor took a single step before stumbling to a halt, uncharacteristically graceless. I’d pushed him away, and now he wasn’t sure how I’d react if he came any closer. I was sorry he’d stopped. I stomped on that feeling.

He deserved better than me.

“Ash!” Georgie again. “Has something happened to Ember?”

She was afraid. I couldn’t let Georgie be afraid. “She’s okay. Or she was when the memory happened. Only …” I let one hand fall to the ground, crept my fingers across the earth until I was touching Pack Leader’s fur. “I don’t think she’s coming back. Not anytime soon.”

“Why not?” Georgie sounded as bewildered as I’d felt a moment ago.

“I don’t know!”

Even I could hear the edge of desperation in my voice. Pack Leader turned his head in my direction and huffed reprovingly.
Get a hold of yourself
. I drew back, a little hurt – and realised that expecting him to coddle me at this moment was a human reaction. Wolves didn’t fall to pieces when one of their own was gone. If a Pack member died, that was to be mourned and accepted. But if one was missing …

I reached back, gripping the tree, and hauled myself up. My legs were trembling, made shaky by too many shocks, but I made it all the way upright. Then I stepped away from the tuart and staggered.

Daniel started forwards to help.

Connor caught his arm, spoke in a sharp voice. “No. Leave her.”

To anyone else that might have sounded cruel. Not to me. I regained my balance and met Connor’s eyes in a bittersweet moment of understanding.

In my head, a wolf yipped, flinging out a challenge to the world. I understood what I was hearing now. The wolf-voice was Connor’s emotions. He and I were linked, and had been ever since Ember helped us share memories. Sometimes I felt what he was feeling and sometimes he felt what I was.
Maybe that means Em and I are linked now too?
Except she’d said once that her ability worked differently when it was one of her own memories, and if I could feel what she was feeling, I wasn’t conscious of it. All I was aware of right now was Connor’s emotions and mine.

We both knew that it was time for me to lead my Pack.

“Ember …” My voice was hoarse, weak. I frowned and began again. “Ember said in the memory that if she didn’t come back, it would be because she’d chosen to stay away. I think she’s trying to protect us.”

“Protect us from what?” Georgie asked.

“I’m not exactly sure.” I gathered pieces of information together. “People connected with the fake Serpent. And she also said …” My voice trailed off. It was hard to tell them the rest. I fought the ridiculous urge to protect Em from criticism and shoved words out of my mouth. “She said she thought she might know who the guy pretending to be the Serpent is.”