The Do Over (30 page)

"I'm not dying," Candace said, giving Macy a surprised look, "but thank you for your concern."

Macy sat back as Candace fidgeted in her seat. I sat immobile. She wasn't dying, but something was definitely going on.

"What's it going to take for the two of you to make up?"

"Fine," Macy started, "I shouldn't have said anything to Chris. I don't know what the big deal is. I won't tell him any more of your shit." Macy rolled her eyes.

I didn't know what hurt more—the fact that she didn't respect my boundaries or that she didn't care that she hurt me.

"You want to know what the big deal is? I'll tell you." I straightened up in my seat as I put my sunglasses on the top of my head. "You're supposed to be
my
best friend. I'm supposed to be able to tell you anything and know that you'll keep your freaking mouth shut. You're supposed to have
my
back. Instead, you went and told the flavor of the month, who happens to be my boyfriend's best friend, about
my condition
."

"Flavor of the fucking month?" Macy huffed, shaking her head. "I'm sorry that I was excited that after a lifetime, you were actually getting laid. That asshole Rick fucked with your head and broke your heart. You're finally living again. So what? I told Chris because he was there. I wasn't trying to hurt you."

"Both of you stop this already!" Candace shouted.

"No, I'm tired of stopping every time things get uncomfortable," I said, my voice cracking.

Macy and Candace looked shocked. I had not fallen under the command of our calm, assertive pack leader.

I looked to the side to control my intensity. "Macy violated the code of sisterhood. I'm always being cool. You guys stage a damn intervention in front of everyone, and I listen and look for the positive. I don't hold it against you. But when I stage a confrontation, I'm told to stop it. I don't think so. Macy let me ask
you
something. What personal information has Chris leaked to you about Liam? I'm curious because he tells Liam the tidbits you share with him. So, what aren't
you
telling me?"

Macy just stared at me with tears pooling in her eyes. Candace shook her head. Françoise brought our food and quickly dashed out of sight.

I continued, my voice shaking, "Did Chris tell you that Liam loves me? Or how about Liam's past with Natalie? You know, his dead fiancée?"

Their mouths dropped.

"Did Chris tell you that Liam gave me a key to his apartment? I'm wondering how much Chris is telling you since you feel the need to feed him information. For the record, Chris has Liam's back. Maybe the next time you're on your back, looking up at him, you might take notes on what it's like to be a real friend. Right now, I
need
someone to talk to, someone I can trust, and, Macy…that's
not
you."

Sitting there, Macy batted her eyes, trying to keep her tears from escaping. "I cannot believe you said that. You're my best friend. I would do anything for you. You're right. I should've kept my mouth shut. I messed up. I used bad judgment. I'm sorry. I was excited, and sometimes when I get excited, I start to babble. I can't control it, but I would never say anything that would be a true violation.
Geez
, I didn't let Liam tell me anything about his past, not that I thought he would, but I stopped him, just because it would've been
wrong
. See, even when I ramble and get nervous, I do exercise correct judgment. I made a mistake. I didn't think you'd be
this
pissed off. My god, Dani, come on. I'll stop seeing Chris. That way you won't have to worry about me telling him anything else."

"I'm not asking you to stop seeing Chris. You like him. I don't want to hurt you. I just don't know if I can trust you with the heavy stuff." I closed my eyes before I looked away.

"I know you're not asking me to do that, but I will. Yeah, I like him…a lot. Maybe I talk about you because it's easier to talk about you than it is to talk about me. Sometimes, I think I like him more than he likes me. Then, other times, I don't know. Maybe I do need to cut him loose, but the sex is
so
good. I swear the orgasms are out of this world. Just thinking about the things he can do with his tongue is making me horny right now. Is it horrible that I want to finish this conversation and go have sex? I don't care where he's at. I'll meet him on the corner. I'm addicted to his dick. I want the
whole
package though. His junk and his heart. But, Dani, I'll pick you over Chris. I will. Penises are a dime a dozen, even if Chris is special."

"Macy, keep your dick. You're just going to have to earn your way back into the circle of trust. But I don't want us to fight anymore." I didn't. I realized that I'd overreacted a little. I had reached my boiling point, and as was typical for me, I pushed too far and came out swinging.

"I miss my friend, Dani. I swear that I'll find a way to make this up to you. I really am sorry."

We all got up and had a group hug. I really loved my girlfriends.

Macy looked at me with hopeful expectation. "I know that this is probably off-limits, but please tell me that you're addicted to Liam's dick."

Turning a bright shade of red, I threw my arms in the air. Publically, I admitted, "Yes, I'm totally, completely, and madly in love with Liam and his dick."

Right there on Lincoln Road, three grown women proceeded to scream like schoolgirls in giddy delight.

"Are we all better now?" Candace asked.

Macy and I nodded in agreement. I forgave her, but I wasn't going to blindly share all my deep concerns with her for quite a while.

As we sat back down, Candace said, "Now that that's settled, I have some news to share with you."

"You're pregnant?" Macy asked as she started eating her breakfast.

I almost dropped the syrup on the table.

"No, I'm not pregnant." Candace laughed nervously.

She wasn't opposed to the idea of pregnancy and family. She and Jeremy had been dating for years. Her career though was her number-one priority, and it worked for them.

Candace said, "While that would be exciting news in two to three years, I have sensational news now. I've been asked to sit in on a very high-profile case. It's an incredible career opportunity for me. The only downside is that it's being tried in Jacksonville. So, while I'm away, I need to know that my besties are going to be okay."

Candace had been a part of my entire adult life. Selfishly, I wanted her to stay. I had to tell myself that it was just for one case. Maybe it wouldn't last long. Considering all the things I needed to process, the timing of this career opportunity was awful. I should've been happy for her. Instead, it felt like a punch in the stomach. I lost my appetite. I put my fork down and pushed my plate away.

"When's all of this happening?" I asked. As I ran my finger over the condensation on the glass, my eyes fixed on the melting designs.

"I leave a week from Monday. I'll be back Christmas week. In fact, let's make a date." She pulled out her phone and checked her calendar app. "On Friday, December 28, let's have a girls' night out." She was trying to be upbeat.

I nodded as Macy shrugged her shoulders.

We quietly sat there. Macy played with her food, moving it to one side of her dish and then back to the other side. Candace twirled her hair while her food got cold. Françoise came by once again to take away our plates.

After we paid for food we didn't eat, we strolled down Lincoln Road. As we were approaching the parking lot, I asked Candace if we could talk.

Macy gave little protest. "I'll let you have this today. I have plans anyhow. Don't think I'm going to take a backseat. I'm riding shotgun. I'll prove to you that you can trust me, so deal with it." Macy leaned in for a quick hug before heading off to her car and god knows what with Chris.

Candace and I continued walking. I had taken her for granted. Macy and I had spent countless nights, rolling our eyes at the way Candace had bossed us around. We let her do it, but like spoiled girls, we resented it. Because of Candace, I had been pushed out of my comfort zone the night Liam and I'd reconnected at the nightclub. She'd always had my back, and she'd never steered me wrong. I could always count on her.

"Penny for your thoughts," Candace said.

We stopped at a boutique and began browsing through the clothes. Pulling out blouses, we held them in front of us.

"I'm thinking that I'm a shitty friend, and I need to update my wardrobe." I put the blouse back and continued looking around the shop.

"You're a great friend, and I think we just need to find you some nice accent pieces. Like this." Of course, Candace pulled out the perfect blouse. "Tell me about the fiancée and the key."

"No, I'm a selfish brat, but thank you for knowing me so well and still loving me." I pulled out a couple more blouses before I went to try them on. "The fiancée died. It was a very tragic story. It's weird. On some level, I'm totally okay with it emotionally, but on another level, I'm jealous." Sighing, I looked over at her with stars in my eyes. "I'm so in love with him. I don't want to screw this up."

"That blouse goes back, this one stays, and I like this one over here for you. We need to find a dress or two to show off your legs." She handed me the clothes she was picking off of the racks as if she was a personal shopper. "You've been in love with him since the beginning. It's obvious. I've never seen you this way, and I'm so excited for you. Of course you don't want to think of him loving anyone else. I don't know if that's selfishness or jealousy. It's just natural. The positive is that he knows how to love. He loved someone and was ready to commit. Focus on that. Now, the only thing you're going to screw up is this outfit with that belt."

I went into the fitting room. I started trying on the clothes that Candace had selected for me. They were perfect. "Candace…" I said through the door. I needed to tell her about my run-ins with Rick. I could count on her to give me some insight. I just had to figure out a way to tell her. "I told Liam about my breakup with Rick." I came out and modeled the outfit.

She nodded with approval. "And what did Liam say?" Candace sat back in the chair outside the fitting rooms.

"He wants to beat him up."

"I like how he's protective of you. That's a good thing, but you really need to let go of this Rick thing. You've exhausted the acceptable amount of time to mourn a relationship, Dani. Liam shouldn't have to pay for Rick's crimes."

I headed back into the fitting room. "You're right. It's not fair." From behind the curtain, I said, "You know, I'm not hating Rick as much anymore." I closed my eyes tightly, bracing myself for Candace's response, but there was silence.

I quickly changed into the last outfit and came out, parading in front of the mirror. Candace studied my expression. I just smiled and shrugged my shoulders.

"What do you think about this look?"

"It's a good look. And I think it's a good thing that you hate Rick less. In fact, I think you shouldn't hate him at all. He doesn't deserve your passionate emotions. More importantly, tell me you're growing indifferent and not soft."

I shrugged my shoulders again and returned behind the curtain to get dressed. "I don't know. I haven't really thought about it. I suppose it just feels good to not hate him." And that was the truth, at least as much of it as I could share.

I'd spent close to two years with an open wound. Because of him, I was scared to love again. I didn't want to be held prisoner to that fear. I wanted to love Liam with reckless abandon. Maybe if I was at peace with Rick, I would be able to do that.

I took the Candace approved clothes up to the register and revitalized my wardrobe. With bags in my hands and a new perspective, I felt empowered and more confident. My mind went to thoughts of Liam, and my eyes danced with anticipation, knowing I would see him soon. My heart fluttered as a smile broke across my face. I was in love with him.

"Oh, and she thinks of him." Candace nudged me, giggling. "Yes, Dani, that's the look you've been getting on your face since you met Liam. It suits you perfectly." She laced her arm through mine as we walked. "Now, tell me about this key."

"You're amazing. I'm going to miss you so damn much. You've let me make this entire time about me. I love you for it. I really do. I can't talk to Macy about this stuff yet. I love her, but that mouth has gotten her into more trouble than she likes to admit."

We both laughed.

"Focus, Dani, the key. Was there a grand gesture? Is he expecting a key from you? I mean, come on, details. I need to analyze the evidence before I render a verdict."

"No, there was no grand gesture. After we made love, well that time, we just fucked, he got out of bed. When he came back, he gave me the key and told me to put it on my key ring. That was about it."

She simply concluded, "It's a key, Dani. Talk to the man, and tell him what you're feeling. You might be surprised by what you learn."

I got in my car and felt like I had fucking scored the winning touchdown. Daniela was putty in my hands. I was confident that by Christmas, maybe New Year's, she would be back where she belonged—by my side and in my bed. There was no way that she'd be able to resist. She could deny her feelings all she wanted, but I saw the look in her eye. They were still there, and I was going to take what was mine.