The Downfall of a Good Girl (11 page)

Officially, Saints and Sinners only had six days left before the winner was announced and the fundraiser came to an end with the rest of the city’s celebrations. Tomorrow would be their last public event until the winner took his or her place on top of the Bon Argent float on Tuesday morning. While the final five days—Friday to midnight Tuesday—would be the busiest for the city as a whole, they would be amazingly calm for her and Connor. Everyone had other plans—this was one of the busiest weekends of the entire year—so even as the flavor of the moment for the media, thanks to Connor, she was looking at a relatively low-key weekend.

But first she had a quiet evening at Connor’s planned for tonight.

An anticipatory shiver ran through her and put speed in her steps as she gathered her stuff, set the alarm and locked the doors to the gallery behind her. A glance up showed two feet propped on the balcony railing. She couldn’t see Connor from this vantage point, but he could probably see her, so she smiled before she stepped into the street. The feet disappeared, and by the time she’d made it to the nondescript
wooden door, the sound of the buzzer releasing the lock was greeting her.

Connor met her at the top of the stairs with a kiss that had her toes curling in pleasure. “‘Bout time you showed up.”

Vivi dropped her bags and left her shoes by the door before following Connor into the kitchen. She took the glass of wine he offered with a grateful sigh and took a sip. “I spent some time on the phone with a reporter from the
LA Times
. He’s doing a story on post-Katrina reconstruction.”

“And he called
you?
”

“Gee, you don’t have to sound so surprised.”

Connor schooled his features. “Sorry, it’s just that doesn’t seem like your area of expertise.”

“I know. But people think reconstruction is all about houses, and this was more about the effects on people. Loss of community, effects on children and families, the overstretched resources of non-profits…”

Connor nodded in understanding. “And that
is
your area of expertise.”

“Exactly. My new manager has been out full force getting my name in front of people.”

He refilled both of their glasses and leaned against the counter. “Raymond’s awesome at finding those angles.”

“Well, I appreciate the recommendation. I had no idea it would explode like this.”

“And you didn’t even have to release a sex tape.”

She snorted. “Don’t think for a second that I haven’t been offered a hell of a lot of money for exactly that.”

“Good thing you’re a saint.” He lifted his glass to hers in a toast.

She sighed and took a big sip of wine. “You know, you’re suddenly being vindicated just because I
am
such a saint.”

“Don’t think I don’t know it. It’s much appreciated.”

Nodding at his battered blue jeans and well-worn black
and gold jersey, she untucked her blouse from her pants and started removing the heavy necklace and bracelet she’d worn that day. “So, you seem to have spent the day lounging on the balcony? Must be nice.”

“Hey, I was working,” he informed her. “I talked to an interior designer about plans for the warehouse, approved a licensing agreement for some music, went over the final figures from the tour with my accountant—”

“All from the comfort of your balcony?”

Connor grinned. “The job has to come with some perks, you know.”

“I want to be a rock star. Think I’m too old to get my big break?”

He laughed. “Age isn’t the problem, Vivi. The fact you’re tone-deaf, though, is an obstacle.”

She smacked his arm and frowned at him. He responded with a shrug and a grin. “I am
not
tone-deaf,” she insisted.

“You are many wonderful things, Vivi, and you have many great talents, but I’ve heard you sing in the shower. You couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket if I put the tune in the bucket and handed it to you.”

He was right, but…“Wow, I may swoon from the flattery.”

Connor snorted. “Because I’m the one you can always come to for empty flattery?”

“Point taken.”

That
was why this worked. Connor was, oddly enough, the one person she could drop any and all attempts at pretense with. It wasn’t as if he could think worse of her than he had at some point in the past. It was a very strange situation—and an unusual way to find that acceptance of who she really was—but it worked for her. It made it easy.

He took the wineglass from her hand and set it behind her on the counter. Then he lifted her up, sat her on the counter,
and moved between her legs. “You’ve had a long day. Are you hungry? Tired?”

One minute ago she’d have said yes, but Connor asked the questions with his lips against her neck, and the need for food or rest gave way to a much more simple, primal need.

His mouth found hers, and she sighed into him with a release she’d never felt with anyone before. It should be scary, but it wasn’t.

It felt pretty close to perfect.

“I
T’S
six o’clock in the morning,” Lorelei grumped as she pushed past Vivi to the coffeepot. “Could you stop the humming? Your constant good mood is making me ill.”

“Aren’t you a ray of sunshine this morning?”

Lorelei held the cup of coffee like a lifeline. “Do you not need sleep like normal humans?”

“I’m just in a good mood this morning.”

“As usual.”

“What?”

“I feel like I’m living in a Disney movie. I’m expecting you to burst into song while woodland creatures clean the house and make you a dress for the ball.”

“Well, that would be interesting, wouldn’t it? I’m rather tone-deaf, and I’m not sure that gators and nutria have the same dexterity and sewing skills as bunnies and chipmunks.” Vivi winked at her sister, but refrained from more humming as she left the kitchen.

Lorelei followed. “See—I can’t even get a rise out of you by making fun of you. Where’s the sanctimonious Vivi I know and love?”

“Poor Lorelei. You’re living a nightmare.”

Lorelei made a face as she took her usual spot in the corner of the couch. “I’m glad you’re happy, but do you
have
to be so chipper about it?”

“Boy, you’re grumpy. Drink your coffee. I like you better when you’re fully caffeinated.” She patted Lorelei on the arm. “I’ve got to go. I’m going straight to Connor’s after we’re done today, so I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Surprise, surprise,” Lorelei muttered.

“Something wrong?”

“No.” Lorelei took another sip of coffee. “Actually, yes. Something is wrong.”

“Okay, what?”

“You.” Lorelei’s stare was unsettling. “You’re not quite right these days.”

“Excuse me?”

“This is really not like you.”

“I know. It’s crazy. But it’s fun. And you wanted me to have fun, right?”

“Of course. But how deep are you into this thing with Connor?”

That brought her up short. “What do you mean?”

“You have never, not once in your life, had a fling, an affair, or a one-night stand. You are a serial monogamist at best. Now you’re sleeping—very publicly, I might add—with Connor. You spend all of your free time—and even time that’s not free—with him. From where I stand, it looks like you’re getting serious about this.”

“Then why do you sound like the Oracle of Doom?”

“Because Connor isn’t really a smart long-term investment. I don’t want you to get hurt.” Lorelei put her coffee cup on the table and leveled a hard stare at her. “Are you in love with Connor?”

The concept had been floating around in her mind, but it wasn’t something she was willing to explore too deeply. “What?”

“It’s a very simple question. Are you in love with Connor?”

She tried to be nonchalant. “You’re jumping ahead a bit, aren’t you? This is still very new.”

“Well, are you and Connor on the same page at least?”

“Are you asking me if we’ve had a ‘Where is this going?’ conversation?” The mere idea of such a thing seemed totally out of the question. “No. We haven’t.”

Lorelei looked at her like she’d lost her mind. “And that doesn’t bother you? Have aliens taken over your body?”

It did bother her a little. But Connor wasn’t the kind of man she’d be comfortable having that kind of conversation with. “No. It just seems a bit premature to be talking about it.”

Vivi could almost hear Lorelei’s eyeballs rolling. “You’ve never walked blindly into anything in your life. You always have a plan. A purpose. You have to have some kind of plan cooking in there.”

Why did Vivi feel like the younger sister? “My plan is to see how it goes. There’s definitely something. I don’t think it’s love. It could be hormones or infatuation or any number of things. It’s a very strong
like
, though, and I’m willing to explore that and enjoy it now, for what it is. There’s no need for me to rush into this.” She met Lorelei’s eyes. “I’m an adult. I can handle this—whatever it is, whatever it becomes. Or doesn’t become.”

“Vivi—”

“Look, I’ve got to get ready to go. But I promise you that it’s all good. I’m fine.”

Lorelei didn’t look convinced, but other than some deep sighs, she dropped the subject.

But Vivi was having a hard time doing the same. She couldn’t keep skittering around the edges of this. At some point she was going to have to really decide. But not yet. She wanted to enjoy this as long as she could.

The street was quiet as Vivi locked the door behind her.
She started down the stone steps, only to stop short when she saw Connor leaning against his rented red sportscar parked at the curb. He opened the passenger-side door as she approached.

“This is a surprise,” she said.

“I’m full of surprises,” he said as he helped her in. Once he was in his seat, he handed her a small bag. “Here.”

“What’s this?”

“Just something I happened to find yesterday at the French Market. Open it.”

She did, allowing the contents to slide into her palm. It was a bracelet, and when she held it up she saw the charm: a halo hanging off a set of devil horns.

Connor winked at her. “I thought it might be appropriate.”

“It’s perfect.” She leaned over the console and gave him a kiss. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Connor started the engine.

Vivi dangled the bracelet from her fingers, admiring the charm. It wasn’t an expensive gift; she could tell by looking at it that it wasn’t the highest quality and might possibly turn her wrist green. But that was part of its charm. It wasn’t a gift meant to impress—not beyond the thought behind it, at least. And that thought caused her chest to feel a bit tight.

She had to face it: she
was
in love with Connor. While it felt good to put a name to it, to admit to it, the happy feeling was short-lived due to reality. She’d fallen in love with a man who hadn’t given her even the slightest of hints about his own feelings or what might lie ahead.

The enormous folly of that slammed into her like a bag of bricks, and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t quite shake that feeling off to focus on the day’s project.

The last day of the competition part of Saints and Sinners had them at a community center in one of the poorest areas of town. The teams were painting walls, washing windows
and mulching the playground as part of a larger rehabilitation project. They were halfway through the day when Vivi realized she’d forgotten they were in competition at all. For the first time in, well…
ever
, her competitive streak had remained underground. She’d been too lost in the mess inside her own head even to compete properly.

It took a real effort of will—and garnered her some strange looks from both sides—to pull Team Saint back together so they’d take the points. Only once they were safely in her column did she go back to help Connor paint the hallway.

“Hate to say it, but you lose. Again.”

He winked at her. “I wondered when you’d remember.”

“I can’t believe you took advantage of me like that.”

Connor shook his head. “I don’t look gift horses in the mouth and I don’t question my luck. I need you in order to get through this without looking like a loser in front of the press.”

Something about the words—or maybe the tone—put her hackles up. “Is that all you want from me?”

“Given a choice, I’d rather not be here at all. We’d be at Gabe’s on a rug in front of the fireplace drinking mimosas. Trust me, Vivi. What I want from you right now doesn’t involve painting a wall. And it certainly doesn’t include two dozen bystanders.”

Well, gee, if she’d been looking for a declaration of some sort, that certainly wasn’t it.

“All I ask from you is honesty. If you want something, just ask. Don’t try to charm it out of me.”

That got her an odd look from Connor. “What are you talking about?”

Her spurt of bravado fled the scene. She was not going to be the one to broach that topic, and she certainly wasn’t going to do it
here
, of all places. She had her pride. “Nothing.”

She forced a smile. “You may be able to addle my mind with orgasms, but you will not be able to woo me to the dark side with your charms. I’m made of sterner stuff than that.”

She waited for Connor to wink or shrug or crack off a smart comeback, but none of those things happened. Instead, Connor’s paintbrush hit the bucket with a splat, and she found herself being led—almost dragged, actually—into an empty activity room, where he closed the door behind him.

Déjà vu
. “That door better not lock from the outside. After our recent publicity, no one will believe we
weren’t
up to something in here.” It was a lame attempt at a joke and it fell flat.

Connor crossed his arms over his chest. “Explain.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“I’ve known you a hell of a long time, Vivi, and that was a loaded statement. I’d like to know what you meant by it.”

Damn
. “I think you’re reading a bit much into a few words.”

“Again, I know you better than that.”

The calm assurance caused her temper to flare. “Actually, Connor, I don’t think you know me at all. Which isn’t entirely surprising, since I’m beginning to think that I don’t know myself very well either. My whole life has flipped upside down.”

Connor had the gall to look surprised. “So has mine, you know.”

“Really? I figured this was par for the course for you.”

“No.” He shook his head. “
This
is definitely new territory.”

“I don’t think we’re talking about the same thing.”

There was that odd look again. “What are
you
talking about, Vivi?”

“I asked you first.”

“Vivi…”

“Fine.” This was neither the time nor the place, but she’d led the way here and there wasn’t a graceful way to turn back now. “We have five days left of Saints and Sinners. What happens
six
days from now?”

“I don’t know about you, but I’ll be sleeping in.”

His attempt to dodge her question only highlighted the necessity of asking it. She
needed
those answers she’d blithely dismissed this morning. “Okay, ten days from now? Two weeks? A month?”

Connor looked like he’d swallowed something vile.
Well, there’s my answer
. Better to get it now. “That’s what I thought.”

He shoved his hands into his jeans pockets. “Are you looking for some kind of declaration of intent? I hadn’t really thought that far in advance.”

“I have to, sadly. It feels like the whole country is watching me, so I need to prepare for the aftermath. This whole thing with you has been a departure from the norm, and I need to be ready to deal with the fallout.”

“You’re jumping way ahead—”

“Actually, I’m trying to fall back. I jumped ahead of myself getting involved with you so quickly. Now I’m just regrouping and preparing for what comes next.”

“And what do you think that is?”

“I really don’t know. So much is happening so quickly—”

He stepped closer to her and reached for her arms. “So why not wait until things calm down before we have this conversation? Can’t we just continue on as we are and see where it goes?”

“If you were anyone other than Connor Mansfield I’d say yes.” She pulled her arms out of his hands gently. This hurt more than she’d expected, which only strengthened her resolve that it was the right thing to do. Now, before she got any more attached and Connor did serious damage to her
heart. “I stand to lose a lot more than you do if this ends badly. Maybe we should quit while we’re ahead.”

Connor couldn’t quite believe his ears. How had they gotten here? Talk about things coming from left field…“What are you saying, Vivi?”

“I’m saying that I can’t invest in something that doesn’t have a future. I thought I could. I thought I could just seize the day and not worry. But I’m not a fling kind of girl, and you’re not a long-haul kind of guy.”

She might as well have slapped him. He felt unfairly vilified. “So you dipped your toes in the pool, decided it was too hot and are now pulling out?”

“No. I jumped completely in. But now I think the pool is too dangerous for me to swim in. You know me well enough, Connor, to know that I’m a good girl. I’m not cut out to be flavor of the month.”

Vivi seemed genuinely distressed at the idea. Distressed enough to make him want to play Lancelot and soothe her. “I had no intention of getting involved with anyone when I came home. After the disaster of the last few months the last thing I wanted was to have my love life back in the papers at all. Much less with you. No offense intended.”

Vivi actually cracked a smile. “None taken.”

He hooked a finger through her belt loop and pulled her an inch closer to him. She didn’t resist. He used a finger to lift her chin, making her look him straight in the eye. “I didn’t expect this, didn’t plan on it and if anyone had tried to tell me it was going to happen I’d have laughed in their face. At the same time, though, I’m not unhappy it did.”

“Oh, me neither. It’s been fun.”

“It
is
fun. And it can continue to be fun. I know it’s tough for you to deal with the carnival sideshow that is my life, but believe me when I say it gets easier. You can’t live worrying
about how your life is being interpreted or judged by the wider world. That way lies only madness.” He saw Vivi’s eyebrows draw together. “And remember you have a manager now. Damage control is his job, because his paycheck rather depends on you. Is he telling you to dump me?” She shook her head. “I think you’re missing my point.” Oh, he hadn’t missed it; he’d just hoped he could sidestep it. No such luck. He wasn’t going to get off that easily. He took a deep breath, rather wishing he’d let that statement in the hallway slide. “When it comes to women, I’m not used to thinking too far ahead. The only thing I can say is that I’m not ready for this to be over yet. Are you? Really?” “Honestly?” She seemed to think about it. “No.” He let out the breath he’d been holding. “I don’t have a lot of experience with women like you, but I’m not willing to give it up just yet.” This was an odd place and time for him to be having this kind of revelatory discussion, but the weight in his chest wouldn’t allow him to just let Vivi walk out.