The Elect: Malevolent, a Dystopian Novel (9 page)

I’m not dead.

I’m alive. I’m in hell, but I’m alive.

I hurt. Everywhere. My arms. My knees. My stomach. My chest.

But mostly my face hurts. The bones must be shattered.

When I grit my teeth I feel things moving under my skin, cracking and crunching. The sensation makes my stomach roil.

“Eva?”

Someone is speaking to me?

“Eva?”

I drag heavy eyelids up. Bright white light. Piercing light. It feels like blades are slicing through my skull. I squint.

“How are you feeling?” It’s Mattie. She’s come to visit me. I must be in the infirmary.

“Like hell,” I tell her. My voice is lower than normal. Croaky like I’ve been a corn husk smoker all my life.

She grabs my hand and squeezes it. “I bet. I’m so relieved you’re awake.”

“I’m not relieved,” I admit. And that’s no lie. The pain is almost unbearable. It hurts to talk, to breathe, to think.

“Do you need more pain meds? I can call the nurse.”

“No, no. That’s okay. I hate drugs. I can handle this.” Knowing I’m in for some major punishment, but needing to try anyway, I slowly push myself to a sitting position. My head almost explodes. Muscles everywhere scream in protest. I squeeze my eyelids and breathe slowly, hoping the pain will subside.

“You look like you’re dying,” Mattie informs me.

I’m so
not
grateful to hear that. Yes, I feel like I’m dying, but I’m not so happy to hear I look like hell too. “Gee, thanks.”

She places a hand on my shoulder to help steady me. “No, I didn’t mean it like that. I mean, I think I should get help.” I hear her step away.

Semi-blind, but following the sound, I stab a hand out to try to catch her before she gets too far. By some miracle it works. My fingers latch onto some material and I tug. “No, please. Drugs will only make me worse. Sleepy. Dopey. I need my head clear. I need to get back to training.”

“Are you insane?” she says, her exasperated tone saying,
you are insane
.

“I’m no more insane than Helen.”

“You’re way worse than she was. Your face…I mean…”

I reach up to touch my cheek. My fingertips find skin, but I don’t feel their pressure. The nerves in my face are dead. “It’s that bad?”

“Um…” She looks up. She looks down. She looks everywhere but at the subject of our discussion.

“How bad?” I demand.

“Well…” She cringes, still avoiding eye contact.

I grit my teeth and swing my legs over the side of the bed. I hurt everywhere. And even the slightest movement makes the world tip and swoop. “It doesn’t matter how ugly I look. I have to get back to training. You know what happens if we’re ‘incapacitated for more than twenty-four hours’.” I make air quotes.

“It’s too late,” she says softly. “Jay says you’re out.”

“What?” My haze-filled gaze scans the room, searching for a clock. My heart thumps hard and fast. Panic sends surging waves of adrenaline through my system. “Out? How long was I unconscious?”

“Almost twenty hours. I just ran up here during breakfast to check on you. This morning’s training session starts in a few minutes. There’s no way you’ll make it back in time.”

Twenty hours. I’ve been unconscious for almost a full day? I can’t be thrown out. I can’t let this happen. “
Twenty
hours? Are you sure?”

Looking like she might cry, she nods. “I’m sure.”

“Twenty isn’t twenty-four.” I rip the tape off my arm, securing the needle piercing into my vein.

Mattie pales. “What are you doing?”

“I have to go to training.” Working fast but carefully, I pull the needle out and bend my arm to stop the bleeding.

“You have to stay here. You had a bad concussion. It isn’t safe for you to train today.”

“But I have to. I…have to.” I force muscles to move, aching joints to flex and bend. I look down. The floor seems so fucking far away. And my body hates me.

Shit, I don’t want to do this.

Yes. Yes, I can. Failing isn’t an option.

I can’t just lie in bed and wait for them to throw me out.

“Please, stop.” Mattie tries to push me back down, but I refuse to let her.

“Let me get up,” I snap. I shove her back, hard.

Stumbling backward, Mattie throws her hands up in surrender. “Easy, Eva. I was just trying to protect you. If you go back to training like this, you’ll hurt yourself worse.”

“Well, I have no other choice. I have to go back. Otherwise I’m out. My family needs the money.”

We stare at each other for several seconds. The sound of our fast, heavy breathing fills the silence.

Mattie’s hands drop. One extends out, palm up. “Fine. I can see you’re not giving up. I’d rather help you than get in your way.”

I set my hand in hers and pull. Leg muscles strain as I set my weight on my feet. I wince. “Thank you.”

She shakes her head. “Don’t thank me. I’m not doing you any favors. You’re not doing yourself any favors either. But it is what it is. We better get going. Don’t want to be late.” She gives me an up-and-down look and mashes her lips into a thin line. “But you might want to fix yourself up a little first.” She points at my head. “You’ll scare someone.”

We laugh at the absurdity of it all.

Despite the pain it feels good to laugh.

* * * * *

A list is posted on the door when we get to the training room. At the top of the page the title reads, PHASE 1 RECRUIT CLASS RANKS.

They’re ranking us already?

Paul’s name sits at the top of the list. No surprise there.

Neither is it surprising to see that he is looking very proud of his current status among the recruits.

Henry is number two, Tom is three, and Alice is four. I’m way down the list but not at the bottom. There are three others below me, including Roy. His low rank makes no sense whatsoever.

It must make no sense to Mattie too. She points at his name and gives me a confused look. I shrug my shoulders.

While I was out for most of yesterday’s training, I’ve seen nothing that would rank him so low. He had his issues with the fighting, but he’s strong, fast, and a decent fighter, better than several of the people above him. At least he wasn’t hauled out of training unconscious like some of us have been.

When we enter the training room, I feel everyone’s eyes on me. It isn’t the most pleasant sensation, having all the other recruits staring at me, gape-mouthed and pointing. A few people snicker. Mattie whispers, “Ignore them. They’re assholes.”

She doesn’t have to tell me that. I know they’re assholes. And I know it’s best to ignore them. “Wow, nice makeover,” Paul says. “Black and blue look good on you. So good, I think you could use a little more.”

“Yeah, well you’d just better watch out. Someone is going to knock you off the top of that list. And it won’t be pretty.” I find a spot to lean against the wall, hoping no one can tell it’s holding me up.

Jay comes in and scans the room. His gaze locks on me for a moment and I feel my face warm with embarrassment. I hate that anyone has to see me like this. But I’m especially horrified that he has to see me like this. The bruises are proof that I don’t belong here.

“Good morning. Glad to see you’ve all made it to training today.” He motions toward the door. “As you see, you’ve been ranked based upon your performance so far. Training is comprised of three phases. What you do not know is that only the top ten of your class will continue to the final phase.” He gives each of us a pointed look. “
If
there are more than ten who pass Phase Two.”

I don’t like the way he emphasizes that
if
word. Neither do the other recruits. There’s an eruption of chatter. Someone murmurs, “That’s not fair.”

Jay’s eyes go cold. “This isn’t about being fair. It’s about what’s best for the agency, for everyone, not just for one person.”

I have to be one of the top ten by the end of the next phase, which means I need to knock at least one person out of the top ten to take their place. I check the list again, seeing who is in those first ten spaces, besides Alice, Tom and Paul. And, assuming Roy doesn’t belong at the bottom, I have to take him into account too. Who can I knock out of the top ten? How?

“Phase Two will begin tomorrow. You will not have training this morning or afternoon. However, tonight we will be going on a little field trip. To give you a taste of what you’ll be facing after you’ve graduated training if you’re one of the bottom recruits. I will remind you, only the top three are given a choice of jobs within the agency, based upon their skills and preferences. Their pay will be higher, too, of course.”

The room goes stone cold and silent. Everyone eyes the others around them, sizing them up. I do the same thing. Oddly, I don’t sense many eyes on me anymore.

My black and blue fight-losing self is no threat to anyone.

Suddenly I wish I had more people staring at me. They’ve all decided I don’t have a chance of making the top ten. I don’t want to believe them but a part of me can’t help it.

Trying to hide my growing sense of defeat, I watch the others file out of the room. Mattie sticks by my side. “Roy was talking about doing some studying during our free time. I know you need help with programming. Do you want to go with us?”

It’s a tough decision, but in the end I decide to pass on the invitation. As much as I need help with programming, right now I need rest more. I shake my head. “No, I’m going to head back to the dorm and get some more sleep. If we have to run tonight, on our ‘field trip’ I’m going to need it.”

“Sure.” After giving me a pained look, Mattie jogs ahead to catch up to Roy. After the last recruit leaves, I push off the wall, using the momentum to propel me toward the door.

Jay stops me just as I reach it. “I’m surprised to see you this morning.”

I wish the floor could swallow me up right now. I look like death. Mattie told me so. The bruises scream,
she’s a failure
. Now Jay, the one I need to impress, is seeing me like this. “You know the rules.”

“Sure.” His gaze wanders up and down my body, and my skin warms.

Now. Even as I’m half-expecting him to tell me to pack my bags and get out. What is wrong with me?

I hate how he affects me. And I don’t hate it. A part of me is thrilled by the respect I see in his eyes as he looks at me. The other part screams warnings that this is not the time or place for silly crushes on beautiful trainers.

He says, “You’re tougher than I expected.”

“Let’s hope some of the recruits are underestimating me too. And your boss.”

“They are.” His smile nearly stops my heart. “See you later.”

As I watch him walk away, I remind myself why I shouldn’t be feeling like I’ve just met my favorite book hero.

Book heroes aren’t real, like Sam. They are perfect.

They can’t smash your heart into a million pieces.

And they can’t toss you out of the training program you have to finish for the sake of your family, your friends, everyone you love.

Jay is no book hero. No. Not even close.

I know this. My head does, at least.

Now I wish my stupid pitter-pattery heart would get the message.

Someone is tapping my shoulder.

The images of my dream fade, and I’m grateful. I was dreaming about George. He was beating me until I confessed to being in love with Jay. My cheeks are wet. Shit. I was crying.

Hiding under the blanket, I drag my hand across my face. Someone is going to find out about my stupid crush. Somehow. I just know it. And then they will tease me unmercifully.

Who knows, maybe I’ll even get thrown out of training.

“Hurry up,” Mattie says. “We have to be at the door in ten minutes.”

I push upright. My body hates me. A low moan slips from my lips. All I want to do is curl up in a ball, close my eyes, and go back to sleep. Sleep is so much better than this, even with the horrible nightmares. I’m not made for this. It’s too hard.

“No way. I’m not going to let you give up now.” Mattie grabs my hands and pulls me to my feet. My head spins a little and I have to blink a few times to make the spinning stop. Never, not in a million years, did I expect standing to be so fucking hard.

“I hate you right now,” I grumble as I accept the t-shirt she hands me. I pull off the oversized sweatshirt I sleep in and ease the clean shirt over my head, being careful not to bump my face. Then I step into a pair of shorts.

Mattie drops my shoes at my feet. “Yeah, yeah. I love you too.”

I barely get my feet crammed into my shoes and she’s dragging me out of the room. I tie the laces when we find the other recruits.

“How ya feeling, hick?” Henry taunts. His expression is sympathetic, but the tone of his voice is most definitely
not
. He doesn’t care how I’m feeling. “We’re all so humbled you decided to join us.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Mattie says.

Alice guffaws. “Ooh, the princess’s little entourage is sooo scary. They even know how to use naughty words.”

“You should be scared,” Jay says, standing at the door, looking bored. “Josiah Bush, the former President of what was once the United States of America, underestimated the enemy. Look what happened to him. And the country. It no longer exists. Now it’s been reorganized into ten districts, all governed by the Amiga.”

Alice rolls her eyes. “As if that’s such a bad thing?”

One of Jay’s hands is resting on the nob. His gaze is locked on the clock hanging on the wall behind me. For a fraction of a second he glances at me. My face gets hot again. Why can’t I make it stop?

“All right. It’s midnight. Let’s go.” He pulls open the door and we swarm outside like bees from a hive. He leads the way, running at a steady pace. I keep up with him, despite my injuries. I secretly thank him for not running as fast as Claire did during our first days of training.

As we run mile after mile, our surroundings become more and more untamed. The forest grows dense, the canopy overhead blocking out the silvery light of the moon and stars. The inky black of the sky swallows the world ahead of us. It looks like we’ve reached the end of the world, like there is nothing beyond but space. Empty, cold space.

Every now and then my gaze shifts to Jay. I don’t do it intentionally. It just finds its way to him and rests there. And then I start to feel funny inside and have to look at something else.

After running for over an hour Jay stops abruptly. Up ahead I see a shape in the darkness. It’s barely discernable. A line cutting across the horizon.

I think I know where we are. I’ve read about it but never seen it.

It’s the wall. We’ve come to the wall.

“What do you think is out there?” Mattie whispers as we slowly approach the dark shadow towering up ahead.

“I’m guessing mostly forest. Animals.”

“Monsters,” Mattie says, making a silly face.

“Seriously. Is this wall necessary? The terrorists have already breached the border. So what’s the point?” Up, up, up my gaze travels. As we come closer the wall looms more and more massive. “Look at it. It’s at least fifty feet tall.”

Mattie shrugs.

So does Roy. “My dad told me the agency started patrolling the perimeter a few years ago. So whatever the threat is, if it isn’t terrorists, it’s gotten worse recently.”

“Have any of you been outside?” Mattie asks.

I shake my head. So do Roy and Tom.

“I heard there’s just nothing but dry desert,” says Roy.

“If that’s the case,” I say, “what’s the use of a huge wall? There isn’t anything out there to protect us from anymore. The terrorists are in here already.”

“The wall was built to keep the desert people out,” Tom says.

“What desert people?” I ask. I’d never heard or read about any desert people. Who are they? Where did they come from?

“Yeah, they’re the people who tried to escape the war and ran into the polluted desert,” Tom tells us. “I heard they’re really ugly, with skin that looks like molten wax. They’re bald, with big heads and bulging eyes.” Tom opens his eyes really wide and makes a scary face.

Mattie laughs. “You’re so funny. There are no deformed desert people.”

“No, really,” Tom insists. “That’s what I heard. Something about people being exposed to toxic chemicals.”

“Chemicals from what?” I ask as we slowly creep closer to the wall.

Tom shrugs. “The war, I guess.”

“This way,” Jay motions for us to follow.

Flanked by Tom and Mattie, I follow the rest of our group. It’s reassuring having them at my side. I realize, suddenly, that I’ve become more reliant on them, closer to them, in just the few days we’ve been together than I have any friend in my life.

Maybe even Sam.

Shared pain. Shared struggle. Both have a way of bringing people together. Or pulling them apart.

My gaze locks on Henry’s back. He and Alice and another girl named Isabel are whispering, pointing, and snickering at the other recruits like a group of little children on the playground.

What the hell is their problem? We’re not kids anymore. We’ve graduated from school, old enough to go to war. But you wouldn’t know it if you saw those three.

Jay stops in front of a massive gate. Three guards, armed with guns, stand inside, facing us. “If you aren’t in the top three of your class, this is most likely where you will end up. There are some opportunities for advancement, but not many. As a wall guard, you’ll be patrolling outside the wall--”

“Patrolling for what? What dangers are out there?” Roy asks, winking at me and Mattie.

Yes, I would like to know that too. I would like to know if there are hordes of scarred, deformed desert people, just waiting for the chance to invade, or groups of terrorists who have been trying, and failing, to break through our defenses. Being ranked so low, I will be lucky to be a gate guard. I might totally fail training. I’m pretty close to failing already. And we haven’t gotten to the hardest part yet, the computer stuff.

Jay slides a glance at the guards. “Because I’ve never patrolled the wall, you’d have to ask one of them.”

The guards turn, as if on cue. One of them pulls on a massive lever and the other two operate the gigantic gate. As the huge gate swings open, a wide vee of inky blackness is revealed. Brilliant white orbs glow from just beyond the opening. It doesn’t take long to tell the orbs are coming closer. A low rumble cuts through the silent stillness.

Within seconds the sound is louder, coming closer, and then I am staring at the first motorized vehicle I have ever seen. It rattles and bumps up to the border, producing a squealing noise when it stops at the edge of the gate. Two people climb out of the vehicle. The guards approach one. The other, silhouetted by the brilliant lights behind him, moves toward us. I take a step back.

“Eva? Eva Pearson?” the person from the vehicle says. The person from outside knows my name? How?

I shade my eyes, trying to make out his features but the light blazing behind him is too bright.

“Eva, it’s me. Sam.” He comes closer and then I see. It is Sam.

Sam! The boy I used to chase in the corn fields, who I used to catch frogs with in the creek…who I had planned on marrying after graduation. Without any warning, he wraps his arms around me, giving me a hug. He whispers in my ear, “I thought I’d never see you again.”

To my surprise, I stiffen in his embrace, feeling awkward and unsure. I’m glad to see Sam. Right? Really happy to see him. To have this chance to…say goodbye. But those arms don’t feel the same. They don’t comfort me like they once did. They feel like the arms of a stranger.

Already?

Confused, I shuffle my feet.

I feel eyes on me. Everyone is watching. Including Mattie and Tom and Roy…and…and Jay. “What are you doing out there?” I ask as I try to step out of his embrace.

“I answered an ad for work. We hunt out here,” he explains. His eyes roam over me. He’s smiling. He’s happy to see me. Really happy.

But me…I’m not as happy as I thought I would be. As happy as I should be.

I can’t believe it’s Sam. My Sam. Out here. And yet…I’m not weeping with joy. “Hunt what?” I ask, trying to fill the awkward silence.

“Deer mostly. Elk. Bear, too.”

“Bear?” I repeat. I try to appear to be over-the-moon excited to see Sam, while not letting Mattie, Roy and the others see. “There are bears out there?”

“Yes. I’ve seen a few myself. There aren’t a lot of them. You know my parents lost their cattle this winter, and their farm was foreclosed right after you left. They couldn’t pay their taxes. I had to do something.”

I can’t believe what I’m hearing. Or what I’m feeling. So much has changed. In such a short time. Sam isn’t the center of my life anymore. Our futures aren’t bound together like they once were. No. I see a different future now. Especially knowing the same thing could happen to my family if I don’t make it into the NDA. “Then you aren’t living in Riverview anymore?”

“No. We’re living on a hunters’ compound. It’s a little crowded, but it’s not too bad.”

I hadn’t heard about any hunters’ compounds before now. It seems there is a lot I didn’t know about the world
inside
the wall, too, not just outside.

Alice saunters up, laughing. “Oh, look! What’s this? A reunion? Isn’t that sweet?” She circles Sam. “Who is this, Eva? Your boyfriend?” she shouts, very loudly.

“Get lost,” I snap.

Alice grins. It isn’t a friendly smile. It’s a devious one that makes my teeth grit. “Young love. Isn’t it precious?”

Sam says, watching her, “She isn’t very nice. Are the others like her?”

“Some of them,” I admit. In truth, I don’t want him to know how great some of the people are. Like Jay.

Sam’s lips thin. He’s looking behind me. I wonder if he sees Jay. “You know, you don’t have to do this, Eva. There are other options.”

“Not for me, there aren’t. I was selected. It’s an honor being selected for the Elite. Besides, my family needs the money.”

“I’m sure they’re grateful for the money, but is this what you want, Eva?” He points at the group of recruits behind me. “Is this what’s best for you?”

What kind of question was that?

Who is this boy? I’m absolutely certain now that I’m not talking to the Sam I once knew and loved, the one who understood me. Who knew I would do
anything
for my family.

I am talking to a stranger.

Is he trying to suggest that forcing my family to leave everything they love to chase bears in the dangerous forest outside the wall is better than my working a great job, being well-paid, and sending money home to my family so they can stay in Riverview? “Of course it’s best for me. I love my family. They mean everything to me. And I’ll be doing important work. Very important. I’ll be defending our land against the terrorists who want to destroy everything we’ve worked so hard to achieve. I would
never
quit the agency. Quitting is weak.”

Sam shakes his head. “Weak, eh? Let me ask you this then: What’s more important, Eva, being strong or being happy?”

Another stupid question.

“I don’t think I could be happy if I wasn’t strong,” I tell him. “You’ve known me long enough. I shouldn’t have to explain that to you. Besides, there’s more to life than being happy.”

“Is there?” he challenges. Then he raises his hands, as if to concede. “I don’t want to argue. It was good to see you again. Maybe some time you can visit me. My parents would love to see you too. We’re living just a few miles that way,” he points down the road. “You can’t miss the compound.”

“Sure. I’ll visit,” I lie. “Soon.”

He glances over his shoulder. “Looks like we’ve been cleared to pass through. I’d better be going.”

“Yeah.” I toss him a wave and watch him return to his vehicle. It rumbles and bumps and squeaks down the road, heading toward the hunter’s compound.

Jay steps up to me. “Do you know him?”

“Kind of. He’s an old friend.”

“I can see you’re the kind who doesn’t make the wisest choices,” he says.

I’m puzzled. “What do you mean?”

“Did you forget the contract you signed? You aren’t permitted to contact anyone outside the agency while you are in training. You are not allowed speak with anyone. Or write to write to anyone. Not at any time.” He leans closer and whispers, “Be careful, Eva. Very careful.” Then, stepping back, he motions to the gate and continues his lecture about gate guards.