The Emoticon Generation (19 page)

Read The Emoticon Generation Online

Authors: Guy Hasson

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BOOK: The Emoticon Generation
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Joan looked at Roger. He motioned at the screen.

“And you show us how in your upcoming book, do you?”

“I do more than that. I will show right
now
how we can educate our kids.”

The straight-haired anchor looked to the right and left, suddenly seeming afraid and caught off guard.

Dr. Stone continued, oblivious, “The fact we’ve forgotten is that learning can be fun and that knowing something new and interesting can
open
the imagination, not close it.”

“Right,” said Roger. Joan made a face.

Dr. Stone continued, “A bad education system led to close-minded adults, which then taught
their
children how to be close-minded adults, and so on and so forth. Our entire education is standing on chicken’s legs, as the saying goes. To create something new, we need to overhaul it in its entirety, and we can do that by simply
removing
the behaviors we had that
blocked
the release of the freedom hormone.”

“And you show us how to do that in your book, do you, Dr. Stone? Perhaps our viewers at home should read it and see what you’re talking about?”

“Perhaps.
Or
I could explain it in a minute or so, and everyone will know now. The education system I propose in my book – and the President has already asked me to attend a series of emergency meetings with the Secretary of Education – my education system has four clear protocols and I’ll just touch upon the basics.

“We all remember Dr. Burrows’ list of things that block us, the first YouTube video that ever reached 2 billion hits. What were they? Count them with me:” One finger: “‘A feeling of time constraints, deadlines.’”

Roger nodded.

Dr. Stone raised his second finger: “‘Living up to someone else’s standards of what is right and what is wrong.’”

Roger nodded again, his eyes glued to the screen.

Dr. Stone raised his third finger, “‘Attempting to appease others’.”

“Hmmm...” groaned Roger.

Dr. Stone raised his fourth finger, “And finally forcibly performing a task at a certain time.”

Roger pursed his lips. Joan leaned forward.

“I have created a simple system that completely incorporates Dr. Burrows’ principles. As you can tell by the fact I have a book coming out I’ve been working on this for quite a few years. Only recently, with Dr. Burrows’ discoveries, have I been able to get the ear of the president of the United States.

“Here is what I propose.”

Joan took a deep breath. Roger scratched his chin.

“Step one: The student chooses what to learn and creates his or her own goals. When learning history, for example, the student can pick a subject out of a stock of subject prepared by the Department of Education – he can pick one of three subjects to learn. Then the student sets a realistic goal which he must achieve within a year. The teachers are there to help him choose his goal, but not to push one on the student. A year is a long time, which partially eliminates time constraints.

“And we’re going to further make sure that there
won’t
be any time constraints. I mean, we know our kids: they’re going to delay everything to the last month or week or even to the last day, and then they’re going to have imagination-imprisoning pressure. We’re going to avoid that by setting weekly goalposts. The goalposts are not set in stone ahead of time – a goalpost can be anything, as long as it shows proven progress from last week. The goalposts are also chosen in advance – and changed during the year – by the student himself with the aid and guidance of the teachers.

“This way, the student strives to do better, not to learn a certain fact on a certain day.

“Step two: The students judge and grade themselves.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” the straight-haired anchor jumped in. “If you let kids grade themselves, everyone’s going to get A’s.”

“Of course,” Joan said.

“Not if we use the protocol I propose,” said Dr. Stone. “The students must grade themselves honestly. The teachers must put their stamp of approval on that grade. They will not grade the students at all, but they will judge whether the student has honestly graded himself. If a student gave himself a grade he himself does not think he deserves, the teachers will know through conversations and discussions and knowledge of the student’s behavior, and they will not accept the grade the student has given. A student must be honest with himself about how well he did in achieving the goals he himself had set in subjects he liked and chose. Students will work according to their own standards, not their teachers’, thus eliminating two more imagination-blocking behaviors.

“I believe that children will in fact learn more, not less, with this new system. In fact, I believe they will also learn faster. Honesty will force them to strive harder. Our kids will retain their freedom, their individuality, and they will grow up to be grownups whose brains are not caged. At the same time, they will be educated and know that education and learning frees our imagination.

“This is my system, which abides 100 percent by Dr. Burrows’ rules of what not to do to our children. If everything goes well, the Department of Education will have adapted by the next school. In the meantime, I recommend all teachers and parents use these simple methods to teach their children today, because tomorrow is too late. Take this leap with us into the future. Help us take care of your kids while educating them.

“I have more details at my website. Look me up, and download a document that shows how
you
can educate your children without imprisoning their minds.

“Thank you, Dr. Stone. It’s been a pleasure.”

“History in the making, Dave.”

“I didn’t understand half of that, but it certainly seems like you’re out to make history. We’ll be back after this with news of the latest Hollywood scandal.”

Commercials came on. Roger muted the TV.

“Hmm...” he said.

Joan thought in silence.

Roger, after a moment, stood up. “Time to put Rose to bed.”

Joan moved aside, allowing him to lift their daughter while asleep.

“You think it’s any good?” she asked him as he carried Rose to the kids’ bedroom.

Roger shrugged. He went in, and after a minute, came back out. Joan was leaning against the wall, thinking.

Roger turned off the TV.

“Do you think he’ll change the system?” Joan put a hand on his back.

Roger shrugged.

“Come on,” he said. “Time to go to sleep.”

~

Four months later, Roger looked out the window just as the news was about to come on.

“The streets are empty.”

“Hmm?” Joan looked back. She was already sitting on the sofa, ready for the nightly news.

“The streets are completely empty.” Roger left the window. He sat beside her, “No cars, nothing.”

“What do you expect?” Joan said. “They’ve been promoting it like crazy.”

The promos have been running all day yesterday and all day today. Dr. Burrows, who had kept media silence ever since his famous interview, will be interviewed in regard to the Stone Education Plan.

“Last time I heard the streets were empty because of TV was back in the fifties, I think.” He pulled the curtain back and sat near Joan. “Every time Jackie Gleason came on, or Burns & Allen, or one of those.”

“Yup. Here we go.”

Rose ran into the room, “Mom, I want to go outside and play.”

The news logo began to play.

“Not now, sweetie.”

“Russell!” Roger roared.

“Mommie, mommie, mommie, I’m bored!” Rose’s voice drowned the blond anchor as he began to talk.

“Louder,” Joan said. “I can’t hear what he’s saying.”

“Russell!” Roger roared again, at the end of which, Russell’s head peeked from behind the door to his and Rose’s room.

“What?”

“We gave you a simple assignment. Take care of your sister for half an hour!”

“Shh! Shh!” Joan said. “He’s coming on.”

“Do it!” Roger roared in a whispered. “Now!”

Russell took Rose’s hand. “Come on. Let’s play anything you want.”

“Anything?” Rose jumped.

On TV, Dr. Burrows was already saying something.

“Anything. Come on,” he led her by the hand to their room.

“Dr. Burrows,” Joan turned up the volume even higher, “you haven’t given many interviews in the last few months.”

“And close the door!” Roger shouted after him.

“Shh!” Joan said.

“To tell the truth,” Dr. Burrows said, “I gave four interviews and it seemed to me that the world exploded. I thought I should remain in my lab and do what I do best, which is research.”

The door to the kids’ room slowly shut itself from the inside.

“But now you’ve agreed to our interview,” the anchor was saying.

“Yes.”

“We want to talk to you about Dr. Stone’s Stone Education Plan, which is about to be voted into law two days from now.”

“Yes.”

“It is based on your famous interviews. It is based on your research.”

“Yes.”

Joan’s back tensed, and she sat up straight.

“And yet,” the anchor was saying, “we haven’t heard a thing from you on the subject. Does the new education program actually release people’s imagination?”

“What I think you
meant
to ask me was whether the new program does not block children’s imagination. And yes, as far as I could tell, it does pretty well.”

“So you, Dr. Burrows, are saying that the bill, the Stone Education Plan, will release kids’ imagination and make them free?”

“No, no one is saying any such thing. Listen. The Stone Education Program isn’t meant to
release
people’s imagination. It is meant to
stop blocking
children’s imagination. Which, in turn, helps imagination keep roaming freely. Which, in turn, makes for very healthy people.”

“Please, Dr. Burrows, stick to short sentences. Are you saying the Stone Education Program follows your rules for imagination?”

“Again, I think you’re confusing things,” Dr. Burrows insisted. “There are no ‘rules’ for imagination, certainly none of mine. There are certain behaviors that block imagination, which I happened to have named on the air.”

Roger scratched his cheek and looked at Joan. Her eyes were riveted to the screen.

“Dr. Burrows, no one at home followed what you said,” the blond anchor said. “We need a yes-or-no answer. Does the Stone Education Program meet your standards for free imagination? Will this program free our kids’ imagination?”

“The Stone Education Program seems quite remarkable in that it bypasses each of the behaviors that stunt our imagination. So: yes, it does.”

“It is a revolution, isn’t it?”

“It certainly seems like it. It is quite admirable that in such a short while, a new education system was invented, a program that goes completely against the grain of everything we’ve done for the last thousands of years. Kudos to Mr. Stone’s ingenuity.”

“Dr. Burrows,
I
understood what you were saying, but no one else did. Revolutionary: yes or no?”

“Yes.”

“Huh,” Joan released air from her mouth without noticing, as her lips parted.

“It will lead to a whole new era of mankind? The Era of Freedom is beginning? Yes or no?”

“I am not a clairvoyant,” Dr. Burrows said.

“But you think a new era is coming? Yes or no?”

“I think it might be.”

“So that’s a yes?”

Dr. Burrows crinkled his forehead. “A yes to what?”

“Revolutionary: yes or no?”

“Yes.”

“It follows your rules: yes or no?”

“Yes.”

“History in the making: yes or no?”

“Probably. I’m no expert in the field of—”

“Was that a yes?”

“It wasn’t a no.”

“A yes, then. Excellent. Dr. Burrows, trying to interview you is like trying to pull teeth, but thank you nonetheless.”

“Thank
you
.”

The anchor turned to face the camera, which gave him and his hair a close-up. “And thank you, Dr. Burrows, for bringing about a new revolution. There you have it, folks. Dr. Burrows’ complete and wholehearted stamp of approval on the Stone Education Plan. History in the making, indeed. The Era of Freedom begins... now. Next: Are your pets killing you? We’ll be back after these messages with the surprising answer.”

Roger raised the remote. “I’m turning it off.”

“All right,” Joan said.

Roger turned off the TV and looked at his wife.

“So,” he said. “I think the choice to give Russell a personal tutor was a good one.”

Joan was biting her lips, the tension showing. “Yeah. It was. And I think Mr. Duncan is good. He goes straight by Stone’s plan.” Private tutors had adapted the Stone Education Plan as soon as Dr. Stone’s book was on the shelves.

“Yup.”

Joan, still biting her lips, kept nodding to herself. “Yup. Yup. Good. I’m calm now. Good. Good.”

“Yeah,” Roger leaned back and restive. “By next year, the schools will be working according to the new plan.”

“Yup.”

“We’ll put Russell back in school.”

“Yup.”

“And Rose will start the first grade. We’ll just put her in normal school.”

“Yup.”

“She’ll only know the new kind of education. She won’t know what we went through.”

“Good. Good. I’m calmer now. I’m calmer now.” And with that, Joan suddenly exhaled relief that deflated her back and brought visible exhaustion to her eyes. “Everything’s going to be all right.”

“Yup,” Roger said and put a hand on his wife’s back.

~

“Today the Stone Education Plan was passed into law,” the fifty-year-old evening news anchor with the perfect black hair continued. The Grant family, meanwhile, was finishing its dinner. “Which is the perfect opportunity to go back to the People of the Fountains and check to see where they are today and what they think of the new law.”

“Russell, go wash your hands,” Joan ordered.

Roger’s attention was drawn to the TV.

Russell leapt off the chair, and immediately Joan said, “And take your sister with you.”

Russell gave Rose a hand, and began helping her down the chair.

“None of my interviewees,” a Barbie-like reporter was speaking. Behind her, the original interview from last year was playing. “Was more memorable than the man known as ‘John’, the man who was there during Woodstock, the man who said the Sixties paled in comparison to what is going on today. I interviewed him earlier today.”

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