The Empress Chronicles (27 page)

I was born with a tooth—a rare and lucky thing, that. My family had always trusted my good star, calling me “fortune’s darling” from when I was a babe in arms. There was never a time that I needed more deeply to believe in my fortune as well.

As I dressed for the emperor’s birthday party, I looked in the mirror. Who I was at that moment was who I would be forever; it was also someone I would never be again. A girl becoming a woman. Someone who had just died. Someone about to be born.

In that very moment, alone, in front of the looking glass, I felt her hand at my throat. Her gravelly voice at my ear:
You foolish girl
. I could not see her, but I smelled her desire—as strong as fire-cooked meat.
What have you done with it?

I knew better than to struggle in her grasp. She was trying to choke the life from me, but she could not strangle me before getting what she came for. The knowledge of this was so plain. Why had it evaded me thus far?

“Lola,” I whispered hoarsely. “The girl you seek is no longer here.”

Her invisible gnarled hand squeezed my throat tighter yet.
You do not know who you are trying to outwit, you silly child. You bad, lazy, selfish girl.

So it was true. The locket I’d given to the baroness not an hour earlier was what Lola had been after all along. The power to see inside a man’s heart. Still, why would Lola insist that I marry the emperor? How would she benefit? There was more to uncover. “Do you know the whereabouts of the third locket?”

You idiot
, seethed the voice.
The locket of truth is right under your nose, and you’re too stupid to see it. You will find it, and you, too, will meet with the fate of your mad cousin. I would have saved you from that. If you would have traded places with me, I would have made a brilliant empress, and you could have scurried off with your count.

Lola, that puzzling shape-shifter, her grip tightened on my throat. But I had a weapon. I rubbed Wilhelmine’s locket, and as I did so, the strangling ceased. The voice diminished. As though hit by the very same bolt of lightning that destroyed poor Nené’s portrait, all grew clear. The warnings in my diary. They must have come from the loving presence Baroness Wilhelmine spoke of.

I walked over to the window and sat down. I would have no choice but to agree to marry the emperor. One did not refuse a man of his station, and if the world would once again march toward a place of love, I would be part of it. As Empress Elisabeth of Austria, I could wield virtue instead of a sword.

I continued to run my fingers over the protective keepsake, and as I did so, pondered my future. And my past. Would agreeing to marry a man I did not love be a betrayal to my dear Count Sebastian? Opening my governess Wilhelmine’s locket slowly, I brought the image of the girl I used to be to my lips, intending a farewell kiss to my past, but as I brought the winged treasure toward me, I recoiled in horror. The photo inset was not of me at all. It was not of anyone I knew. Where my own face had just a few moments earlier looked out from the keepsake, there was now a picture of girl, a peasant, ruddy of cheek, and freckled. And where her peasant’s bonnet should have been was a head of tufted, fuzzy hair.

I would be nowhere without my workshop: Lidia, Chelsea, Monica, Chuck, Mary, Erin, Cheryl. And Diana. Thank you to my hydra sisters: Amy, Averil, Shanna and Teri—beach to desert, maybe next a Bavarian castle?

Huge gratitude to Melissa Sarver White, who believed in this book years ago. Kisses to Mary Cummings and the whole Diversion team—thank you for making my dreams come true! Thanks to Rhonda Helms, whose smart, careful notes took this book to the next level. And to Lauri, maker of beautiful Victorian jewelry—your kindness is rare and lovely. Tom Spanbauer, you keep my pen and heart moving, still.

To Kirk and Carson: you rock. Thanks for weathering the storms and preoccupation that living with a writer entails. Building this book with the sound of your voices in our house grounded me more than you know.

Shout out to Helmut, Erna, Mom and Dad! And sister, Patti! My spirited upbringing in so many lands honed my desire to capture and hoard the wondrous oddities of found objects and people. Love to my grown-up kids: Sam, Maggie, Brendan, Lindsay, Thamires & Katie.

And lastly, to Erin Reel, whose willingness to read this story many, many times and offer guidance and support kept me ever faithful that it would one day find this form.

Everyone double checks things sometimes. For example, you might double check to make sure the stove or iron is turned off before leaving the house. But people with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) feel the need to check things repeatedly, or have certain thoughts or perform routines and rituals over and over. The thoughts and rituals associated with OCD cause distress and get in the way of daily life.

The frequent upsetting thoughts are called obsessions. To try to control them, a person will feel an overwhelming urge to repeat certain rituals or behaviors called compulsions. People with OCD can’t control these obsessions and compulsions. Most of the time, the rituals end up controlling them.

For example, if people are obsessed with germs or dirt, they may develop a compulsion to wash their hands over and over again.

Other common rituals are a need to repeatedly check things, touch things (especially in a particular sequence), or count things.

Healthy people also have rituals, such as checking to see if the stove is off several times before leaving the house. The difference is that people with OCD perform their rituals even though doing so interferes with daily life and they find the repetition distressing. Although most adults with OCD recognize that what they are doing is senseless, some adults and most children may not realize that their behavior is out of the ordinary.

Causes:
OCD sometimes runs in families, but no one knows for sure why some people have it while others don’t. Researchers have found that several parts of the brain are involved in fear and anxiety. By learning more about fear and anxiety in the brain, scientists may be able to create better treatments. Researchers are also looking for ways in which stress and environmental factors may play a role.

People with OCD generally:
Have repeated thoughts or images about many different things, such as fear of germs, dirt, or intruders; acts of violence; hurting loved ones; sexual acts; conflicts with religious beliefs; or being overly tidy.

Do the same rituals over and over such as washing hands, locking and unlocking doors, counting, keeping unneeded items, or repeating the same steps again and again.

Can’t control the unwanted thoughts and behaviors.

Don’t get pleasure when performing the behaviors or rituals, but get brief relief from the anxiety the thoughts cause.

Spend at least one hour a day on the thoughts and rituals, which cause distress and get in the way of daily life.

Who Is At Risk?
For many people, OCD starts during childhood or the teen years. Most people are diagnosed by about age 19. Symptoms of OCD may come and go and be better or worse at different times.

OCD affects about 2.2 million American adults. It strikes men and women in roughly equal numbers and usually appears in childhood, adolescence, or early adulthood. One-third of adults with OCD develop symptoms as children, and research indicates that OCD might run in families.

Diagnosis:
The course of the disease is quite varied. Symptoms may come and go, ease over time, or get worse. If OCD becomes severe, it can keep a person from working or carrying out normal responsibilities at home. People with OCD may try to help themselves by avoiding situations that trigger their obsessions, or they may use alcohol or drugs to calm themselves.

OCD can be accompanied by eating disorders, other anxiety disorders, or depression.

First, talk to your doctor about your symptoms. Your doctor should do an exam to make sure that another physical problem isn’t causing the symptoms. The doctor may refer you to a mental health specialist.

Treatments:
OCD is generally treated with psychotherapy, medication, or both.

Psychotherapy. A type of psychotherapy called cognitive behavior therapy is especially useful for treating OCD. It teaches a person different ways of thinking, behaving, and reacting to situations that help him or her feel less anxious or fearful without having obsessive thoughts or acting compulsively. One type of therapy called exposure and response prevention is especially helpful in reducing compulsive behaviors in OCD.

Medication. Doctors also may prescribe medication to help treat OCD. The most commonly prescribed medications for OCD are anti-anxiety medications and antidepressants. Anti-anxiety medications are powerful and there are different types. Many types begin working right away, but they generally should not be taken for long periods.

Antidepressants are used to treat depression, but they are also particularly helpful for OCD, probably more so than anti-anxiety medications. They may take several weeks—10 to 12 weeks for some—to start working. Some of these medications may cause side effects such as headache, nausea, or difficulty sleeping. These side effects are usually not a problem for most people, especially if the dose starts off low and is increased slowly over time.

It’s important to know that although antidepressants can be safe and effective for many people, they may be risky for some, especially children, teens, and young adults. A “black box"—the most serious type of warning that a prescription drug can have—has been added to the labels of antidepressant medications. These labels warn people that antidepressants may cause some people to have suicidal thoughts or make suicide attempts. Anyone taking antidepressants should be monitored closely, especially when they first start treatment with medications.

Some people with OCD do better with cognitive behavior therapy, especially exposure and response prevention. Others do better with medication. Still others do best with a combination of the two.

Crinoline:
A nineteenth century version of a petticoat – stiff and typically made from horsehair. The word crinoline comes from the French for ‘crin’ and ‘lin,’ meaning horsehair and flax, respectively. Not to be confused with a
corset
, which is the predecessor to the ever-popular girdle.

Hofburg:
The Imperial Palace and main winter residence of the Habsburgs in Vienna. Now, a museum that includes a special area devoted to Sisi.

Mangle
:
a hand-cranked wringer used to press clothes during laundering.

Residenz
:
The Residenz in Munich is the former royal palace of Bavarian monarchs of the House of Wittelsbach. Today, it’s the largest city palace in Germany and is open to visitors as a museum that includes many displays from the former royal collections.

Revolution of 1848:
This widespread European uprising was also known as “Springtime of the Peoples,” and came about as a result of harvest failures, soaring food prices and technological advancement that caused a surge in unemployment. The Habsburg monarchy was the most powerful governing body in the affected area, and uprisings were directed toward the rulers in Vienna. But the revolutions failed, in part because the various revolutionaries of several ethnic backgrounds had conflicting goals.

Schönheitengalerie:
The famous “Gallery of Beauties” is a collection of 36 portraits of the most beautiful women from the nobility and middle classes in
Munich
, painted between 1827 and 1850. The collection was spearheaded by King Ludwig I, and includes his infamous mistress, Lola Montez. You can see them today at the Nymphenburg Palace in Munich.

Map of the Habsburg monarchy circa 1848
Source:
K. Czekaj

Were Franz Joseph and Sisi really cousins?

Yes. Until the late nineteenth century it was very common for arranged social elite and/or political marriages between first cousins.

Was Lola Montez a real person?

Yes, she was. Lola was famous for her seduction of world leaders. She had a well-documented tryst with Ludwig I of Bavaria. Though there is no evidence of her “mystic” powers, she seduced her way through Germany, Spain, France, Australia and the United States. She even penned a self-improvement book called, “The Arts of Beauty, Or, Secrets of a Lady’s Toilet: With Hints to Gentlemen …”

Was there really a mysterious count in Sisi’s life?

There was indeed! As a fifteen-year-old, Sisi had fallen in love with a “totally unsuitable man” referred to only as Count Richard S—. He was in the duke’s service, and once the “idyll” was discovered, the count was sent away under some pretext. He became ill and died, and Sisi was broken-hearted. The fateful trip to Bad Ischl was supposed to serve as a way to cheer her up while igniting a potential romance with the emperor’s younger brother, Archduke Karl Ludwig.

I’ve seen Sisi’s name spelled most commonly as “Sissi.” Which is correct?

I labored over and researched this one to death! You’ll find the Empress Elisabeth referred to as
Sissi
in many popular books, films and online references, however, my source material (“The Reluctant Empress” by Brigitte Hamann, her most well-known biographer) confirms that her nickname was spelled without the double “s.”

What happened to Sisi in real life?

The Empress Elisabeth remains a fascinating cult figure, particularly in Europe. Like Princess Diana, she is legendary for her beauty and shyness. She also had an eating disorder and compulsions that led her to exercise fanatically. Though much has been written about her quirks after she married Franz Joseph (at age sixteen), her somewhat carefree, bohemian childhood is less documented—and therefore more ripe for a magical realism-inspired fiction. You can find out more about Sisi at
empresschronicles.wordpress.com
.