The English Tutor (33 page)

Mark smiled but did not reply, and Clancy said:

“
I think I shall go and stay with Conn and Clodagh soon. They
’
ve asked me.
”

“
Do, dear,
”
said her aunt, nodding her head approvingly.
“
It would do you good.
”

Mark said nothing He wondered if this idea was bo
rn
of her desire to avoid
him,
but the fact that she contemplated such a thing at all must mean that she could meet Conn again without pain.

Aunt Bea put her knitting away and collected her trailing shawls.

“
Well, I think I
’
m going in. You had better come too, Clancy. The dew is falling.
”

“
Not just yet, Aunt Bea,
”
Clancy replied.
“
The
li
ght is so lovely.
”

“
Well, fetch a coat, then. You have to be a little careful of chills once you
’
ve had pneumonia.
”

Mark went into the house and fetched a coat from the hall cupboard. It was the same one he had snatched up on the night of her birthday, and, as on that occasion, he put it over her shoulders and felt her shiver.

“
You
’
re not really cold, are you?
”
he asked, feeling her hands.

“
No,
”
she said, without turning to look at him,
“
a goose walked over my grave.
”

He sat down beside her on the chair her aunt had occupied, and lit a cigarette.

“
Do you really want to go and stay with Conn and Clodagh?
”
he asked.

“
I think so. I might stay on for Horse Show week. It
’
s ages since I
’
ve been.
”

August ... At the end of August he would be gone
...
“
Let
’
s go off on our own tomorrow afternoon,
”
he said suddenly,
“
to Kinross Sands, or Gra
ni
a
’
s Cave—anywhere you like. I
’
ll have to quote your own words and say I never see you now.
”

It was, perhaps, an unfortunate reminder of their last visit to Gra
ni
a
’
s Cave. She said sedately:

“
I couldn
’
t do that. I promised Brian to go with him to the home farm and learn butter-making.
”

“
Oh, blast Brian!
”
Mark exclaimed with unprofessional fervour.
“
Let him learn butter-making without you for once.
”
She said nothing, and he caught her by the shoulder.
“
What
’
s the matter with you these days, Clancy? I can
’
t get anywhere near you. If anything I
’
ve said at any time has upset you, for heaven
’
s sake tell me and I
’
ll try to put it right.
”

“
You haven
’
t said anything to upset me,
”
she replied, but a faint colour stained her cheeks.

“
Then why have you been avoiding me all this time?
”

“
I haven
’
t.
”

“
Oh yes, you have, and you know it, young woman. Well, let
’
s have it.
”

“
I wish you
’
d go away and leave me alone,
”
she said, with a nearer approach to her old truculence than he had seen in her for weeks.

“
I
’
ll leave you alone when I find out what
’
s the matter with you, and not before.
”

“
Nothing
’
s the matter,
”
she said.
“
I haven
’
t anything to tell you. I
’
m going in now.
”

His
hand restrained her.

“
Have I hurt you in some way?
”
he asked more gently.
“
Was it anything I said, or didn
’
t say, that day in Grania
’
s Cave?
”

She did not answer but watched a fish rise in the loch leaving an ever-widening circle of ripples.

“
I
’
ve been clumsy,
”
he said,
“
but you
’
re so young, Clancy, you make things very difficult for me at times.
”

All at once she rounded on him.

“
Why do you always want to spoil everything?
”
she demanded passionately.

He looked taken aback.

“
I didn
’
t know I did,
”
he said mildly.

“
Well, you do. I only want to be let alone and you have to come barging in, poking and prying. Wha
t
have my own thoughts and opinions got to do with you? You said yourself I
’
m just a pupil. Out of working hours my private life is my own affair.
”

She had sprung to her feet and he rose now and took her gently by the arms.

“
What a wild outburst!
”
he said ha
l
f-teasingly.
“
What have I done to deserve all this, you foolish child?
”

“
I
’
m not a child!
”
she cried, trying to wriggle free.
“
You used to treat me like an adult person, Mark, when everyone else thought I was just a little girl, and you gave me great confidence. But now—you think I
’
m a child like all the rest.
”

He looked down at her with tender amusem
en
t.

“
But, Clancy dear, part of you will always be a child for me,
”
he told her,
“
a naughty, stubborn child who will make me want to laugh. If you lost the child in you, you wouldn
’
t be you. Can
’
t you understand?
”

“
I don
’
t understand anything, least of all you,
”
she said, the black hair flung back from her forehead in wild confusion,
“
I only know that I wish you
’
d never come here. I wish you
’
d never come, with your English ideas, upsetting everything and making me miserable. I wish you were dead
...”

She broke away from
him
then and fled towards the house.

“
Come back, you little idiot, I want to talk to you!
”
he called after her, but she would not stop, but ran on into the house, and he followed her in time only to hear her flying footsteps on the stairs and the slam of her bedroom door.

He had no opportunity of speaking to her alone the next morning and, immediately after lunch, Kevin asked him to drive with
him
to Duneen to fetch back some fertilizer which the carrier had failed to deliver.

Brian and Clancy spent the afternoon at the home farm. There was so much to fill their idle hours that the time slipped away quickly. After the butter-making, there was a new litter of pigs to inspect, and a large tea to be eaten in Mrs. Doyle
’
s cool kitchen; there was the milking, and the sound of the rich streams of milk pouring rhythmically into a pail always fascinated Clancy. She felt better after her outburst of the night before, but the hard, hurt feeling round her heart still persisted, and she leant against the half-door, shutting her eyes, and listening to the sounds of milking, the steady munching of the cows, and sniffed the rich, sweet smell of hay and byre.

It was nearly eight o
’
clock when they walked through the south pasture on their way home, and saw Micky-the-post
’
s auto-cycle chuffing up the drive.

“
It must be a telegram,
”
said Clancy, and, waving violently, started to run. Telegrams were always a source of interest at Kilmallin, and Micky would impart their contents before they were opened.

But it was no telegram this time. The little man
’
s pink face was puckered with distress, and he propped his machine against the railings and seized both brother and sister by the hand.

“
Ah, me poor children!
”
he cried, and could do nothing else but repeat himself for some time.

“
What
is
it, Micky?
”
said Clancy impatiently.
“
What
’
s happened?
”

“
Ah, sure, it
’
s the cyar,
”
he said at last,
“
an
’
Kilmallin the drink taken, and it market day an
’
all. Och, how shall I tell Miss Bea, and her tellin
’
the schoolmaster to drive home if himself had the drink taken.
”

Clancy
’
s hands were suddenly icy.

“
Has there been an accident?
”
she said,
“
—a car accident?
”

“
Sure, I said it was the cyar, didn
’
t I? Away out on the moor road it was and himself to take no notice of the schoolmaster, and he such a fine young felly. Wirra, wirra! They
’
re bringing him back, Miss Clancy, me poor darlin
’
. Do you be going up to the house and alarm your anty and I
’
ll pop back to help with the cyar.
”

He jumped on his auto-cycle and was away down the drive, thankful to have avoided Aunt Bea, before Clancy could question him further.

She stood in the middle of the drive, watching him out of sight and a terrible stillness kept her motionless and frozen. It was Brian
’
s frightened voice asking if something had happened to their father which sent the blood coursing normally again and she answered with bitterness;

“
Kilmallin!
Kilmallin
never comes to any
h
arm when he
’
s drunk! It
’
s Mark he
’
s killed with his wild driving—Mark! And last night I told him I wished he was dead.
”

“
Micky didn
’
t say he was dead,
”
said Brian.
“
He won
’
t be dead, Clancy, he couldn
’
t be dead. Micky only said they were bringing him home. He
’
ll just have broken a leg—Clancy, he
’
ll
just have broken a leg. What
’
ll we do?
”

“
Go up to the house and stay with Aunt Bea. Tell Agnes
to have things ready, in case—in case
—”
She began to
run on swift, panic-stricken feet down the drive.

She was nearly at the crossroads when she saw a tradesman
’
s van stop, and deposit a passenger and turn back the way it had come, but she scarcely noticed, and ran on, her hair streaming back from a face blind with, tears, and straight into Mark
’
s arms.