The Everything Orgasm Book (16 page)

Your skin is an erogenous zone. Awakening the skin all over your body can bring more arousal to the rest of your body, but it can also be an ecstatic experience in and of itself. There are many ways to delight in the communion and sensuousness of touching skin. Sensual massage is just one. This section outlines some other possibilities.

Showering together can be a very sensuous experience. The feel of warm or hot water combined with slippery soap and your lover's skin can create a very playful and erotic encounter for the two of you. Take turns rubbing each other up and down with a nicely scented soap or shower gel. Make sure you give each other a very thorough cleaning, getting into all the cracks and crevices: behind the ears, under the arms, between the butt cheeks, and even between the toes! Lather each other up simultaneously or one at a time, using hands and other body parts to spread suds on your partner's body. Enjoy the slipping and sliding of your skin against your lover's.

Taking a bath together can be a very romantic and sensual experience, and it can greatly increase your feelings of intimacy with your lover. Before you get in, add some essential oils to the water for aromatherapy or add bubble bath for fun. Light some candles and put some relaxing music on to create your preferred ambiance. This is a great time to connect and nurture each other. Spend some time facing each other and giving each other foot rubs.

If one of you wants to feel the other's support, then spend some time, facing the same direction, with one of you sitting between the other's legs and resting against your lover's chest. This is a great position for the person behind to wash and caress the upper torso of the person in front. Don't forget to wash each other's backs, necks, and faces. Also, let yourselves be playful, like kids in a bathtub. You might even want to have a rubber ducky or other floating bath toys in there with you.

This sensual play involves covering your body and your lover's body in copious amounts of oil, and then sliding and gliding your bodies across each other in slow and sensual ways that feel good to you. It feels like simultaneously giving and receiving a full body massage. You can use any vegetable oil, but olive oil and coconut oil, slightly warmed, are particularly nice and actually good for the skin. You can also use a massage oil that is lightly scented with essential oils to add a delightful treat for your olfactory system.

To prevent getting oil all over the place, lay down a large sheet of plastic and cover it with an old sheet. Doing this outside in your backyard works well if you have privacy. You can also cover your bed with a vinyl waterproof sheet. Make sure you have a plan for how you will wash off afterward.

Have fun exploring with each other. See how many ways you can slide across your lover's body. Surrender to the sensations, letting every part of your body get some attention. Include even your face and scalp. Let your hair get oily. This is a chance to dive into the sensual pleasure of your flesh. You use your whole body to do this, front and back. Slip and slide your way to bliss with your lover!

Kissing is truly a sensual art. It is a very popular way of building the heat between lovers. The lips and mouth are highly erogenous for many people. Some women have even claimed to orgasm from kissing alone. Some lovers find they enjoy the act of kissing so much that they could just do this for hours, usually combined with caressing and fondling.

Kissing is a very personal and intimate act. It can make you feel vulnerable, so it is something for which you want to feel prepared. There are several things you can do to prepare for kissing that will make your kissing encounter more enjoyable. The first is to keep your lips soft and supple. The second is to make sure your breath is not offensive. And the third is to know when the time and circumstances are right.

Caring For Your Lips

Keeping your lips soft and supple will ensure that they feel good to you and your lover. Chapped, dry lips are painful and are not likely to be pleasant for your partner to kiss. To keep your lips soft and supple, drink lots of water. Keeping your body hydrated will help significantly with the quality of your skin in general, including your lips. Also, avoid licking and biting your lips. To keep your lips from becoming chapped and dry, make sure to use an SPF lip protector when out in the sun for long periods of time, and use lip balm to protect your lips when you will be exposed to wind. For extra treatment, you can apply lip balm at night before you go to bed or try exfoliating your lips with a salt or sugar scrub, a loofa sponge or exfoliating glove, or even your toothbrush.

Attend to Your Breath

Being worried about your breath can hinder your enjoyment and experience of kissing your lover. While your lover would hopefully feel comfortable enough telling you your breath was off, you can't necessarily count on that. It is also considerate and practical to take matters into your own hands when it comes to your own breath. Anything you can do to assure that your breath is not offensive will help keep both you and your lover worry-free and happy. Poor digestion, illness, tooth or gum decay, certain foods and beverages, and smoking can all contribute to bad breath. Some of these are obviously more easily remedied than others. You owe it to yourself and your partner to do all that you can to make sure your breath is not going to get in the way of your enjoyment of kissing one another.

Prevention strategies and remedies for bad breath depend upon what is causing the problem. Good practices include the following: Pay attention to the food you eat and your subsequent digestion, consulting a nutritionist if needed. Floss and brush your teeth regularly to keep your mouth free of decay and infection. And finally, scrape your tongue with a tongue scraper. This can be very effective, as it will remove bacteria from the tongue, which is often responsible for bad breath. The use of mouthwash can help too, but not everybody likes the smell of mouthwash.

If you drink coffee, beer, or other alcohol; smoke; or eat a lot of garlic, you should check it out with your lover to see how his olfactory system responds to these smells, as they do tend to linger on the breath and some people find them unpleasant. You may find that if both you and your lover are drinking beer or eating garlic together, you are not as likely to get offended by those smells. Eating a sprig of parsley after a garlicky meal is said to freshen the breath.

Is the Time Right?

You need to be able to read the cues from your lover or lover-to-be to know when the time is right for kissing. For some, kissing is a very private thing and only to be done when the two of you are alone. For others, kissing in public is fun and sexy. Comfort levels can vary depending on the type of kiss and the specific people who may be observing. If you find that you are not sure whether kissing someone is okay in a particular context, it doesn't hurt to ask.

In general, people tend to feel most ready to kiss when they are alone on an intimate date. Establishing a connection by talking and cultivating an emotional closeness can set the stage. You are more likely to be ready to kiss when your bodies are already touching. This could be a casual touch, not necessarily a passionate embrace. You are clearly ready to kiss when you both feel the heat between the two of you.

There is certainly no right or wrong way to kiss. But there are many variations to kissing. While you probably have found a way to kiss that works for you and your lover, you may be open to try some new techniques. Expanding your repertoire gives you more options to draw upon and can help make you a more exciting and versatile lover.

Think about kissing in several different stages. First, there is the approach. Then there is the meeting and discovering of your lips and mouths. Following this is the passionate build-up. And finally, there is the ending of the kiss.

The Approach

When you approach your lover to begin kissing, it is good to be relaxed. Move slowly. You don't want to accidentally bump heads or clash teeth. It can be helpful to just bring your faces close to each other initially and listen and feel each other's breath. Take time to smell and breathe in your lover's hair, skin, and breath. Notice how you are feeling, being this close. Allow your cheeks to brush up against each other if that feels good to you. Allow your lips to softly graze against each other's. Gently explore each other's faces with your lips and nose. Wander off to the sides, exploring each other's ears and necks.