The Evil Twin? (25 page)

“Having cold feet love?”

“No...there is no cold…I mean…I am not a forever kinda person. All good things have to come to an end, and I know that.”
              “They don’t have to,’ he said, his warm breath fanning against the nape of my neck.

“Grow up Reyan, and I would have never said any of those things.”

“I know what I heard and I knew that day that no matter what, I wasn’t going to let you go.”

“You have to let me go now so I can get out of this outfit.”

“Vinnie, listen to me,” he said as I tried to get away from him.

“I am not letting you go until you tell me you will be mine forever.”

“I don’t know what forever means.”

“I am sure you do because you told me what that means to you that night.”

“That’s just bullshit!!”

“I love you baby, and I know I will love you forever.”

His tone was soft yet it hit me deep inside. I turned around slowly to look at him and placed my palms on his cheeks.

“I am yours Reyan. I’ve had too many things happen in my life to believe in happily ever after’s,” I managed to say before I lost control over my voice.

“I got you baby, I got you.” He rocked me to sleep with his heart banging away against my cheek.

I want this forever. Is it possible?

*****

I sat on the bed in the hotel room staring at the waves hitting the sand. The cool morning air blew gently bringing in the fresh smell of flowers and sunshine.

Three days of fun at Reyan’s brother’s wedding on the beachfront had come to an end, and I didn’t want to leave. I remembered the morning after my outburst when I woke up in Reyan’s arms as a new person. It was as if I was reborn, and I had nothing to worry about in my life. I would never forget the fun I had the past three days. The happiness I saw on my mother’s face when I told her she could call me with the name she picked for me was just unbelievable. She had hugged me with tears of joy running down her cheeks.

“What are you thinking about babe?” Reyan asked stepping out of the shower interrupting my thoughts.

I smiled at him and shook my head. I was all packed and ready to go to brunch with everyone, but I wanted the time to be stuck at that moment--where everyone was under one roof in the hotel which was fully rented for the wedding and Reyan just a few feet away looking at me with his deep eyes.

Is this what forever meant?

He walked over to where I was sitting and sat next to me. I could feel the heat from his body soothe my body. I rested my head on his shoulder as he wrapped his arm around me.

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t want to go.”

“We can skip brunch if you don’t want to go. We can just stay here until we get booted out.” He nuzzled my neck sending thrills down my spine.

“No...I...don’t want to go back. I don’t want to leave this place.”

Reyan laughed and said, “I can get our rooms extended for another week, and we can have an extended vacation.”

“Aargh…that’s not what I meant.”

“I know I am messing with you. Have you talked to your mother?”

I shook my head realizing how, in a span of one week, I had gone from not wanting to do anything with her to being referenced as her daughter.

“I don’t know what to tell her. I feel something for her now, but that doesn’t mean I am going to change in a snap and not want what I have had all my life.”

“I don’t think that’s what she is asking you to do.” Reyan ran his fingers through my hair.

“Why is she going back to India then?” I whined.

“Why wouldn’t she go back to India? That’s where home is for her, and she has a lot of things she has taken over after your father passed away.”

“But…but…”

“You want her to stay here and not go to India?” He looked at me as I stared back at him in silence.

“You should talk to her about it.”

“Noooo…I can’t…I…” I stuttered feeling overwhelmed with the range of emotions I felt just thinking about asking a person who would probably do anything for me. I knew I couldn’t ask her to stay back. She had a family back in India that she needs to go back to.

My family.

“I can’t do that, she needs to go back,” I said softly.

“We can go visit her in India,” he winked.

“Maybe…”

“It’s not a maybe sweetheart. You will need to make a trip soon to India. There is an entire town waiting for you.”

“A town?”

“Yes, more like a county now. Thousands of families are employed by the many industries your family owns and they have done that for generations.”

“What the crap? Are you serious?”

“Yup…why would I kid about that?”

“Okay, I am never going to India. I can’t deal with that stuff. I barely survived the wedding with all my relatives showing up uninvited. It’s too much.”

“There is no hurry, Vinnie. I don’t think your mother wants you to take over the family company just yet. She is just glad she found you,” Reyan said walking back into the bathroom.

“Wait!! What do you mean take over?” I followed him to the bathroom and stood staring at him.

“Sweetheart, your mother is the president of the Singhal Group of Companies, and you are expected to take over the job when you are ready.”

My heart took a nosedive into my stomach, and I felt sick to the stomach.

“I…I don’t want any of that…I just can’t deal with such stuff.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me baby. You have all the raw materials you need to run a company. I have seen the business plan you created to scale your aunt’s business,” he said firmly and added smiling, “You do need some polishing, and I can help you with that. There’s nothing Nandini Singhal can’t do.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Why is it that your mother can use that name.”

“Because she is my mother!!” My voice was way more elevated than I expected it to be, and I caught the surprise in Reyan’s face before he started laughing.

“You are just freaking out about the responsibilities you will have in the future,” he teased.

“No, I want to do what I like to do. I want to write not deal with corporate crap.”

“Your mother managed to do both for the past couple of years. I am sure you can do that too.”

“I can’t, and I don’t want to.”

“You don’t need to decide right now baby, think about it.”

“Reyan…I can’t even think about leaving you to go to India. I don’t want to leave you.”

His face glowed with sheer joy as he cupped his palms on my cheeks and said, “I love you baby. I want you all to myself, but I am willing to share.”

Chapter 25

“Great!!!” I cursed under my breath when my tote toppled over on the floor from the bar counter. It was my second day at work after a week long vacation that was more than a vacation. I learned so many things in one week my brain was almost toast.
              My mother was leaving for India, and I told her I didn’t want to go to the airport to send her off. I knew I would be an emotional wreck and decided to avoid the situation all together. I couldn’t believe how life changing the one week was for Annie, Neel, and me.

I picked up the small makeup pouch Annie had got for me and dusted it off. I smiled wondering how serious Annie was with the guy she met at the wedding. The guy was my cousin who flew in to meet me, and Annie liked him the moment she set her eyes on him. He was charming and sweet, and I knew he would be great for Annie. She was torn when he had to fly back to India the day after the wedding and sulked with a bucket of Tiramisu ice cream.

Neel, on the other hand, finally told his parents who were at the wedding that I wasn’t his girlfriend and that he was gay. It was devastating to watch his mom when he broke the news to her, but watching Reyan talk to Neel’s parents was eye opening for me. He took the time to explain everything to them and eventually his mother didn’t care about her son’s sexual orientation.

I reached for the last piece that had fallen from my tote and tried to remember when I put it in my tote. I turned around to find the name Nandini on the face of the envelope. It was the envelope my mother had given me when I met her at the hotel, and I had put it away not wanting to read it. I stared at the envelope debating if I should put it through the shredder or if I should read it and then decide what I wanted to do with it.

I took a deep breath and looked at the ceiling hoping the tears would not surface. The deep pain of rejection, the pain I felt when I wondered everyday for months if my parents left because they didn’t want me, resurfaced and gripped my heart.

The man who chose to give away a newborn baby for his superstitious beliefs did not mean anything to me, and I did not need to read the letter. I stopped before taking the step towards the back office where the shredder was and remembered how I had misunderstood my mother. I didn’t know until a week ago that she didn’t come looking for me only because she lost my twin.

I sat at the bar stool and slowly opened the envelope. A picture of a young girl holding a trophy and a handwritten letter popped out of the envelope. I looked at the smiling face of my twin for the very first time and felt the instant connection. I looked at the smiling face for a moment and opened the letter and my heart started to beat rapidly as I started reading the letter.

Dear Nandini,

If you are reading this letter, you have made me very a very happy father. The happiness is because if you were anything like your mother, you would have torn the letter to pieces before reading it. I am glad that you have some of my traits unlike your sister who was just like your mother.

It is very unfortunate your sister did not get to know you. I am sure you are very kindhearted and fun loving just like your sister.

The day of the accident was Nandana’s 21
st
birthday. We never celebrated her birthday because it was a harsh reminder that we lost you the same day, but I had taken her out for her first official drink. I told her that night that you were not a stillborn and asked her to find you. You sister did not believe me at first and thought she was hallucinating with just one drink. When I told her that you were somewhere in the United States of America, she looked me in the eyes and said, “Papa, I will find my sister.”

I knew deep in my heart that your sister would find you and your mother would forgive me, but things turned out to be very different.

I told your mother about you, and I have not seen her in two days and everyone tells me she is running around trying to find you. She is angry with me for not telling her about you, but she knows I want to see you and meet you before I go.

Your mother was the best thing that ever happened to me and yet, I have been lying to her for the past twenty-one years. I know she will never forgive me for giving you away, and I don’t expect her to either.

I want you to know that I gave you to Raj and Beena to protect you and your sister. Raj and I went to the same college, and he was the only one I could trust with you. Just like your mother and me, they were childless for a very long time and when they had a beautiful baby like you that could be theirs, they did what their heart asked them to do. They left because they wanted you forever and probably did not want to go through the pain of losing you when you turned sixteen.

You were probably ten years old when I got information about Raj and Beena living in San Francisco, but before I could react, they had covered their tracks. I knew I was alone in your search but did not have the courage to ask anyone else for help. I didn’t know if I could withstand your mother’s anger.

I want you to live life to the fullest and not let anything stop you. I want you to fight for what you want and the people you love just like your sister fought her way through every obstacle that her disability threw her way. Nothing stopped her and nothing should ever stop you. You are a Singhal woman and are a born winner.

I hope you can forgive me for not knowing you and not letting you know your wonderful sister. Please take care of your mother for your sister and me.

As a father, my last wish is for you to take on the family responsibility and lead the families that are dependent on us to prosper. It will make me very proud if the president of Singhal Group of Companies is my daughter. I know you have it in you to take it to the next level.

                                                                                                  With love,

                                                                                                     Papa             

                                                                                    (Jaideep Singhal)             

P.S. There is a thirty-five year old whiskey hidden behind my Shakespeare collection in my study. I want you to give it to the man you love.

Tears trickled down my cheeks as I laughed reading the postscript. I read the letter, and my heart glowed with the love that oozed from one letter of a father who wanted to pass on a simple message to a daughter he lost.

On my third time reading the letter, I stopped at the part when he mentioned something about Nandana’s disabilities. I had no idea what he was talking about, and I knew she was on her way here for her higher education.

I folded the letter carefully and put it back in the envelope unable to figure out what he meant by her disabilities.

I dialed Reyan’s phone number with my sweaty fingers.

“Miss me already?” he chuckled.

“Reyan, what was wrong with Nandana?”

“What do you mean?”

“The letter…the letter my father wrote to me, he talks about her disability.”

“Hmm...”

“What is it Reyan?” My heart was thudding hard in my chest.

“I don’t remember anything odd about her when we met,” he said softly.

I looked at the picture of my twin closely, and I knew what my father was talking about. I saw the bright red nail polish on her right hand and a very natural looking prosthetic palm that she used to support the base of the trophy.

              “Reyan, Nandi had a prosthetic arm, and it explains everything!! Everything about my father and my mother and why my family wanted to look at my left arm. They are good people. I misunderstood them.” I sobbed on the phone.

“Vinnie, you are freaking me out now. Why does it matter that Nandi had a prosthetic arm?”

“It does Reyan. If the family had a history of the twins killing each other or one of the two, Nandana would stand no chance with me growing up in the same house. My father gave me away to protect her.”

“You are upset, baby. Stay put, I am on my way.”

“Reyan, I am livid. I am pissed off at myself because I misunderstood my mother and my father. My father gave up a healthy baby and kept the baby with a malformed hand. That can be the only reason why he gave me up instead of Nandi.”

“Sweetheart, I am so sorry.”

“If my father had not mentioned this in the letter he wrote or if I had chosen to shred the letter, I would have spent the rest of my life hating him for choosing Nandana over me.”

“Baby, please calm down.”

“Oh shit…Reyan what time does my mother’s flight leave to India?”

“She is at the airport now. I can take you there.”

“No time, I am taking a cab.”

“Baby, wait…” I didn’t let him complete.

“Bill, I got to go. I will call you later. It’s an emergency,” I called out to my assistant manager as I dashed out of the door.

              I sat impatiently in the cab and gripped the envelope tightly. I pulled up the flight information my mother had sent to me on my phone and gave the cab driver the terminal and waited to get to the airport. I knew it would have been faster on Reyan’s motorcycle, but I could not wait.

Twenty minutes later, I hopped out of the cab and dashed into the departures terminal. I looked around frantically for the airline counter and ran towards the one where I hoped to see my mother.

I stopped gasping for air when I saw her at the airline counter checking into her flight. I stood looking at the woman who had lost a husband and child and was strong enough to leave behind a child to keep her promise to the families that depended on the businesses running smoothly.

Tears flooded to my eyes when she turned to look straight at me and said, “Nandi?”

I ran into her open arms crying uncontrollably and held on to her not wanting her to go.

“I am sorry I am not going with you.”

“Nandi, stop being a baby. What happened and why are you here?” she asked, her voice starting to comfort me.

“I read Papa’s letter.”

“Papa?” my mother grumbled.

“Yes, the letter that you gave me.”

“That man needs to write one letter for you to refer to him as ‘papa’, and I can’t get you to call me ‘mamma’?”

I laughed wiping off my tears and said, “I just didn’t know what you wanted me to call you, Mamma.”

“Thank you baby, thank you for coming.”

“Your daughter is one bullhead,” Reyan’s voice cut through my sniffles.

I turned around and put my arms around him and said, “I am sorry. I couldn’t wait.”

“Do not freak out like that ever again,” he warned, wrapping his arms around me.

“What happened?” my mother asked curiously.

“Vinnie didn’t know about Nandi’s hand, and she found out that her dad gave her away because she was hale and health.”

“My love for your father grew when I found out why he gave you away instead of Nandana, and he made the right decision. A couple that are taking care of someone’s child will not be able to take care of a child with special needs like her own parents.” She ran her palm down my left arm.

“I am so glad I read the letter before you left, Mamma.”

“I am glad you came to the airport. I wanted to see you before I left.”

“Reyan, Mamma…” I said and paused when the two of them looked at me, “Papa wants me to take over the family-owned companies, and I want you to know that I intend to take over the responsibilities.”

“Wow, that’s great Nandi,” my mother hugged me.

“I am not ready yet, and I need some time to figure out things but I will go to India soon.”

“That’s awesome love,” Reyan put his arm around me.

“Oh Mamma, do not touch anything in Papa’s study until I am in India.”

My mother laughed rolling her eyes and asked, “What did he hide in the study?”

I rested my head on Reyan’s shoulder and said, “Something that Papa said I should give to the man I love.”