The Ex Trials (Falling for Autumn #3) (8 page)

The producers obviously wanted to entice viewers with Thomas making statements like, “He’s my son. He never knew his father and I made it my mission to be the best dad possible to him. No one can take him out of my heart.” And worse yet, “Was it revenge for Autumn? I can’t say the thought hasn’t crossed my mind. Of all the men in the world, why go after my son?” 

Good lord, Thomas was a monster who had hidden in plain sight. I thought of Autumn and Delia seeing the interview and I felt hot-blooded rage on their behalf. Couldn’t the story ever die? Regrettably, the answer was probably no, since Blake was an NFL star. The media wanted to keep dissecting Blake and Autumn’s relationship for their own twisted curiosity. They were an anomaly and it felt like the world was almost rooting for their relationship to fail. 

I felt for Delia as well. Delia was only nineteen years old—didn’t her father think of how a national interview would affect the normal life she tried to craft for herself? She was thriving in her photography courses and she was madly in love with Levi. Being reminded of what her father had done could set back all the progress she made over the last year. In a way, Delia’s predicament was inescapable. She couldn’t permanently sever her blood ties to a monster.

I stopped the video abruptly as I heard a knock at the door. I shoved the phone under my blanket in a panic. Although the sightseeing trip wasn’t scheduled to end for hours, Autumn may have bowed out early. Her Mother Theresa streak was what was going to help her thrive as a social worker. I would feel guilty if she did come back to check on me since I had no lingering effects of my food poisoning besides exhaustion.

Before peeking out, I opened the door a fraction of an inch. I let out a surprised gasp. Cole was standing in the corridor with his hands shoved into his shorts pockets. I leaned into the doorframe because of how lightheaded his inexplicable appearance made me.

I was always startled by Cole’s physical perfection. He was perfect Rolling Stones cover material: strikingly beautiful with a fitted t-shirt demonstrating the hard muscles of his chest and the half-sleeve tattoos accenting his cut arms. His smile was always what did me in: the devil-may-care smirk that made him seem unattainable. Cole was an enigma to most because he was a chameleon. With his family, he was the wiseass with a sick sense of humor. On stage, he was the hot bassist who oozed sex appeal. My layers weren’t the only ones peeled back while we were dating.

“What are you doing here?” I managed in a breathy whisper.

“I drew the shortest straw so I got stuck with babysitting duty,” he said, keeping the smirk in place. “Are you going to let me in or what?”

I opened the door wider and a second too late thought about my rumpled appearance. Back when we were dating, I'd had a comfort level that left him unfazed when I wore ratty clothes to bed or didn’t brush my teeth first before kissing him good morning. At least I had the foresight to freshen up after my nap, so it could have been much worse.

He glided by me while I shut the cabin door. When I turned to face him, we both said nothing. I was trying to get a read on him and I suspected he was trying to do the same. The game between us was dizzying and frustrating, and I was tired of spinning in circles with him. As soon as we took a step forward, we seemed to take two steps backwards.

He crossed his arms over his chest. He looked down at his t-shirt as he spoke. “Just came by to see how you were feeling.”

“Thanks, but why? You should’ve went on the tour,” I said softly. My voice was barely audible, but my heart started beating erratically. I didn’t for a second buy that Cole was forced to stay behind. He obviously volunteered for the job. I took a step forward, instinctually wanting to be closer to him.

He ignored my question. “Do you need anything? Water? Something to eat?”

My throat ached from thirst, but I chose to disregard the offer. Doubling back into the room, I sat down on the corner of the bed and looked up at him with wide eyes. “What’s going on with us?”

His hazel eyes were swirling with so many colors and emotions. Girls who wanted mysterious guys were fools. I hated this sensation of not knowing where I stood with him. Maybe I wasn’t worthy of him, but I still needed him anyway. If he were willing to offer the tiniest crumbs of friendship, I would grasp at them as if my life depended on them. But I didn’t want to stick around if he would dangle possibilities in front of my face, only to snatch them out of reach at the last second. “This whole hot and cold thing? You tell me you’re planning to hook up with other women on vacation, but then you tell me that you’ve missed me. You act like a jealous boyfriend on the beach, but then stalk off when I don’t give you the answers about our relationship that you want to hear.”

He pulled out the desk chair and spun it around to face the bed. Sinking down into the chair, he watched me carefully for an endless moment. “You’re right.”

“Come again?”

He pinched his full lips together before he spoke. “You’re right. I guess my head, heart and body are telling me different things.”

My swallow was painful. “Like what?”

“My head told me to come on this vacation to prove to you and myself that I’m done. I’d hook up with someone else and maybe get you back in the process for hurting me.” He had the decency to look contrite. Maybe I deserved to be burned by him, but I had hoped Cole wouldn’t have the payback mindset once he saw me again. “But my heart isn’t over you. I miss seeing you, hearing your voice, talking to you. We were friends first and I hated the feeling like I lost my best friend.”

He leaned forward and dropped his voice to a harsh whisper. My heart pounded against my ribs as I felt his breath drift over my skin. “And my body wants to pull down your pants and bury my cock inside your tight pussy until we both come.”

Holy shit
. I had forgotten how fucking hot Cole could make me. His words went straight to my core and created a pleasurable burn inside me. I couldn’t answer. I couldn’t breathe. I could only focus on how close Cole was to the bed and how many seconds it would take him to be in top of me and deliver on his promise.

My answer to what I wanted must have been clear on my face because Cole lifted out of his chair and flattened his palms against the mattress. He put one knee up onto the mattress, followed by the other. I felt like one of the helpless gazelles grazing while the ravenous lion stalked her. Cole licked his lips and I prepared to be devoured.

I sucked in a fortifying breath as his mouth found mine. I whimpered in ecstasy as I tasted him again for the first time in ages. His kiss was hot and fierce. Nothing was subtle about it. Cole wanted me and he would have me on his terms. On instinct, I tumbled back onto the bed as he pressed his long and muscled frame against my chest. His hands tangled in my hair as he brought me in closer to him. His tongue danced with mine as I kissed him back just as greedily.

“Fuck, I missed you,” he growled as his mouth moved away from mine and he started to kiss my neck. I pushed back my hair and leaned my head back to give him easier access. His tongue carved out an erotic path starting at the base of my neck before moving down further between my breasts. My breasts felt fuller as they strained against the fabric of my t-shirt, anxious to be let free and land in Cole’s capable hands. Cole pushed down the neckline and kept one hand firmly on each of my breasts. He used his thumb to push down the lacy trim of my bra before taking my nipple into his warm mouth. I almost wished for a pause button in order to keep him in place for as long as I wished.

I arched my back as I felt the pleasant sensation of his gentle sucking. My body writhed under him as I battled to breathe properly. I moaned to show him how much I loved what he was doing and to persuade him never to stop. Pausing for the briefest of seconds, he then caught my nipple carefully between his teeth. His bites were quick with just enough pressure to drive me wild with desire. My panties wanted to drop so bad, I was sure I’d give him whiplash.

“Fuck, I forgot how good your tits taste,” he said gruffly.

My panties were soaked and for good reason. Cole was a spectacular lover. His words were always filthy and he delivered the goods to back up his claims. I squirmed out from under him and lifted my tee above my head. After tossing off my shirt, I unhooked my bra and flung it across the room. I could act with abandon with him because he was safe. I trusted him implicitly and all my dormant lust was flooding my body all at once.

His smile was wolfish as he moved back over me. He kissed me first, making sure he pressed down onto me so I could feel how hard he was beneath his shorts. He knew I would get excited to feel his desire for me. I snuck my hand around to his erection and began to stroke him through the cargo fabric of his shorts. He made an undecipherable sound of pleasure and stumbled to unbutton his shorts. He didn’t bother to get fully undressed, but slid down his pants and boxer briefs just enough to give me full view of just how much he missed me.

His cock stood fully erected and the sight of him aroused made my mouth water. Tentatively, I reached out and closed my fist gently around the base. I took my time stroking him, enjoying the smooth skin beneath the palm of my hand. I repeated the simple strokes, each time feeling him get more excited by my touch.

I paused and he murmured, “Don’t stop. That feels so good.”

Smiling wickedly, I moved to kneel in front of him. I darted my tongue out and started to lick him from the head to the base of his shaft. I then put my hand back on him and used the moisture from my mouth as a lubricant to work him harder. His eyes sparkled as he met mine from above. Our eyes remained locked as my palm moved in a steady, building rhythm.

His breathing became ragged and I saw the tension on his face as he grappled with letting go completely. “Casey, I don’t want to come yet. You have to stop.”

I pretended not to hear him and kept working him with my palm. There was nothing hotter for me than to watch him get off on the way I touched him. I felt powerful and sexy—sensations I hadn’t experienced since the last time we slept together. I was the one in control and there were no words to describe how fucking good that felt. I was back with the man who I belonged with forever and who had the rare ability to control my body like a puppeteer.

My thoughts made me freeze. Squeezing my eyes shut, I tried to tell my brain to shut the fuck up. I didn’t want the past to barge in on this moment. I wanted Cole back. Hell, I would do anything to win him back. But I couldn’t let it happen like this. I couldn’t have sex with him and not worry about the recriminations. My heart couldn’t survive if he only wanted a vacation fuck friend.

I stopped and Cole presumably thought I was listening to his plea not to finish in my hands. He hooked his fingers around the sides of my shorts and gave a playful tug. He gave me a cute, playful grin as I set my hand on top of his own.

“Too soon, babe? Because you have plenty more tasty bits I could sample before the main course.” I was soaking wet, shivering from need. I craved him and it felt foolish to deny myself of something that could disappear without notice.

In spite of my fears, I found myself smiling back at him. When Cole was himself, I couldn’t help but having a ridiculous grin on my face. He’d never been cold or distant. He was funny and sweet and made me feel like the most precious thing in the world to him. He had a cocky side, but he had changed because of me. He didn’t need to put on a front to impress me. I understood Cole probably better than he understood himself. His arrogance was his way to protect himself. He’d been hurt before and didn’t want to make himself vulnerable again. He had idolized his dad and his father’s suicide felt like the ultimate betrayal.

“We have barely talked this trip. Don’t you think we need to have a heart to heart first before sex?” I said evenly. My body was wound up with so much tension I found it a struggle to carry on a conversation. He smelled crisp and clean and I was finding him hard to resist despite my pronouncement.

Cole flopped back on the bed and groaned. “What happened? Things were going so well. I’ve got some R & B tracks on my phone if you need help getting back in the mood.”

After some mental coaxing, I put back on my t-shirt. My sexual desires had seemed to burn off any lingering sickness. I no longer felt woozy and instead of feeling spent, I was keyed up. Although, we were so caught up in each other I doubted he would have noticed if I were still unwell.

Cole didn’t rush to get dressed. He grabbed himself to give a few careless strokes. Long minutes stretched ahead of us as I feel the need for him build all over again. His body remained tense as my eyes refused to turn away from him. My core shivered and my fingers itched to sneak inside my underwear to find my own pleasurable spot. Watching each other get off had been one of our favorite foreplay games. Although it killed me, I don’t make a move. Finally, he swore under his breath and buttoned his pants.

Crossing my arms over my chest, I looked down at him. Chewing on the side of my cheek, I tried to think of what to say. My heart ached, as I knew talking about the past would potentially send him running again. I wanted to eventually come clean, but maybe bombarding him with admissions about my past sins wasn’t the way to win his heart.

“I want you,” I said softly. “But I don’t just want you in bed. I think that was one of our issues. The sex is always amazing….”

“That’s an understatement,” he said softly. “You drive me wild, Casey. I can’t forget how amazing you feel.”