The Faithful Heart (32 page)

, the question of
forgiveness doesn’t even arise. We both have a lot to be sorry for
so far as the other is concerned, but I've never stopped loving you.

 

 

“Of course I still want to marry you. It's been my only wish ever
since you were old enough to be a bride. I could have married you at
twelve, but I wanted to wait. After all, ten years can be a big
difference in age. I have loved you all these years, ever since Aunt
Agatha was widowed and went to join the convent, and your father was
kind enough to take me in and foster me along with Finn and Patrick.

 

 

“I can’t say I wasn’t angry and disappointed that you lied to me
about wanting to go back to Kilgarven, but I thank you for your
concern for my safety, even if you did put me through inexpressible
torments making me think I had lost you again.” Ruairc smiled
lovingly, as he kissed her feverish brow.

 

 

“I’m sorry, Ruairc, I won’t ever lie to you again,” Morgana
murmured, before sleep finally claimed her.

 

 

Ruairc, exhausted after his many nights tending the sick at
Lisleavan, and now having to look after Morgana, began to doze in
the chair.

 

 

Anna slipped into the room quietly, and said, “Really, sir, you must
get some sleep. She seems to be out of danger. I did send that
message for you, by the way, but there’s been no reply.”

 

 

“It doesn’t matter now. She’s going to get well, I’m sure,” Ruairc
said with a tired smile.

 

 

“Lie down for just a few minutes, then,” Anna coaxed.

 

 

against Ruairc’s better judgment, he stripped down to his shirt, and
lay beside Morgana in the bed. He reasoned fuzzily that he was too
weary to take advantage of her nearness, and in any case, if he
slept with one arm around her waist, he would waken if she did need
something in the middle of the night. So he slipped between the
covers, and curled up against Morgana’s naked form for warmth.

 

 

It seemed to Ruairc that he had only been asleep for a minute when
the door was opened and Aunt Agatha swept into the room.

 

 

“Ruairc MacMahon!” she exclaimed when she saw him in bed with
Morgana. With a freezing glance, she turned on her heel and stalked
out again.

 

 

Morgana also opened her eyes, and groaned when she looked down and
saw her own nakedness, and realised what Aunt Agatha had been so
outraged about.

 

 

“Ruairc, how could you!Now my virtue has been completely
compromised. Or was that what you intended all along? To ruin my
reputation so the convent won't have me back, and no one would want
to marry me but yourself?” Morgana accused, before falling back on
the pillows wearily as her head began to spin.

 

 

“Morgana, please, it was an innocent mistake. I was so tired I
nearly fell out of the chair. Please, forgive me,” Ruairc begged as
he pulled on his clothes with his back to her, and ran out into the
corridor to speak to Agatha.

 

 

“I’m sorry Aunt, I was only sleeping, I never did her any harm.”

 

 

“Posing here as man and wife! It’s despicable, you taking advantage
like this.”

 

 

“I didn’t do it on purpose. And where is the sin? I want to marry
her! I always have!” Ruairc bellowed.

 

 

“Not like this, not by tricking her, ruining her good name!” Agatha
contended.

 

 

“If you and Anna don’t tell, who will?” Ruairc appealed to his aunt.

 

 

“No, you are not going to be permitted an excuse like that. If you
can’t protect the girl, get her to marry you respectably, then stay
away from her,” Agatha hissed.

 

 

“I’ll marry her tomorrow, then!” Ruairc shouted in exasperation.

 

 

“That is impossible, as well you know.No weddings are permitted to
take place during Lent,” Aunt Agatha flashed back.

 

 

“All right then, as soon as I can, if she is willing!”

 

 

“And if she isn’t, you will leave Lisleavan and her alone, do you
hear me?”

 

 

“Yes, yes!” Ruairc gave in, to quell his aunt’s towering anger. His
head throbbed with weariness, and he was tired of continually being
falsely accused of the worst crimes.

 

 

Agatha sniffed haughtily, but said more gently, “I have brought some
cordials and would look at the wound while I am here, and then I
must get back.”

 

 

“Thank you for coming,” Ruairc said quietly as he followed his aunt
into the sickroom.

 

 

“She is worn out, exhausted. You must keep her here a few days until
the wound has knit together well enough to take the long ride home,
but she looks as though she will make a full recovery if she has
food, rest and warmth.”

 

 

“Should we move her to the convent then?” Ruairc asked.

 

 

Agatha shook her head. “No, you would not be permitted to stay with
her, and there are all the preparations and festivities for the nuns
taking their vows, and their families have already started filling
the convent. No, she is better off here with you, and then back at
Lisleavan” She felt her brow once more, then turned to her nephew.

 

 

“Mind her well, son. I must now say goodbye.Remember my warning. Do
not let her come to the convent again. You ignored my advice once,
and look what has happened. You ignore it again at both your
perils.”

 

 

“What ever you say, Aunt,” Ruairc replied meekly.

 

 

But Agatha was already gone, almost as if she had never been there.

 

 

 

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

 

 

Morgana and Ruairc remained at the country inn until the end of the
week, by which time Ruairc was convinced that she was well enough to
return to Lisleavan to resume her duties.

 

 

Though he longed to keep her there all to himself, pampering her as
she deserved to be, perhaps even making love to her one night soon
when her leg was more healed, Ruairc knew it would be unfair to
everyone in the Maguire clan, including Morgana herself. As much as
he longed to protect her and keep her safe, to love her for all
time, she had to face up to her responsibilities. And because he
loved her, he had to support her.

 

 

As for the attack upon her, it was time they started looking for
some answers as to who had initiated it, and how they had known of
Morgana’s plans. And above all, they needed to get organised for a
new round of hostilities, which were bound to come sooner or later.

 

 

Morgana too was sad to leave the little inn, for her week there had
been one of the most tranquil she had spent in years. She had eaten
heartily, slept well, and rested for more hours than she could
remember, and always she had had Ruairc by her side, in bed and out.

 

 

The fire in her loins still burned for him alone, and Morgana knew
once her leg was better, she wanted to become lovers with him in
every way. She only wished she had the nerve to tell him of her
longings, but he was so careful with her, loving, but distant too,
that she knew he would never agree to take advantage of her, as he
would term it.

 

 

She marvelled at the fact that he not only loved her, he respected
her as well. It was a rare thing for a woman in Ireland to be
treated thus, as Anna commented more than once when she was helping
her tend to the room.

 

 

"You're so blessed to have a husband like Ruairc," the girl said
with a dreamy sign as she helped her pack their things.

 

 

"Oh?" Morgana said, trying not to feel jealous.

 

 

"You're the sun, moon and stars to him. He never even looks at
another woman, though all the tavern servers have laid themselves
out like trenchers for him. Plus, he actually talks to you. And he
even listens. It's a rare thing."

 

 

"Is it?" she said in what she hoped was a neutral tone, her face
still flaming over what she had learned about the tavern wenches
making a play for her man.

 

 

Anna nodded. "Aye, my mother and father never spoke two words to one
another, and my man in the village, well, the best I can get out of
him is a grunt before, and maybe a kiss when we're finished. And he
certainly wouldn't take pains to nurse me, or not press his manly
needs on me even if I was injured. Let alone with child. No, you've
got a man in a million there. Just make sure you let him know you
feel the same about him."

 

 

"Oh, er, yes."

 

 

Anna's eyes narrowed. "You do, don't you?"

 

 

"Yes!" Morgana insisted.

 

 

"Because if you don't, you're far better letting him go than him
torturing himself all his life trying to make you happy, and never
succeeding."

 

 

"I know. I do love him. I don’t want to lose him. It's just been so
sudden, is the main trouble. I was supposed to be taking my vows as
a nun, and now Ruairc's come back into my life and—" She shrugged.

 

 

Anna's clouded expression became clear. "I understand now. That nun
who came here the other day. She was upset. You eloped and someone
tried to stop you. Oh, how romantic. Star crossed lovers."

 

 

"Er, yes, something like that."

 

 

"And you feel guilty for being happy. You think it's a sin."

 

 

Morgana sighed. "Well, yes."

 

 

Anna patted her on the shoulder. "There's no sin in working for
others to make them happy, only in being selfish and thinking only
of yourself. You clearly make Ruairc happy, and he wants the same
fore you. Where's the sin?"

 

 

Morgana nodded. "I know. He is a good man. There were some, er,
family objections, but you're right. He loves and respects me, and
no, he is not the kind of man who would smile in my face and do
something behind my back. I know other people who would, but he
isn't one of them."

 

 

"Good, I'm glad. Your leg will be better soon, and then you can
start working on a whole houseful of children."

 

 

Morgana paled. "Houseful?" she squeaked.

 

 

"A lusty man like that, why would you ever want to say no?" Anna
giggled, and gathering the last of the linens into a bundle, she
left.

 

 

A short time later, as she was dressing herself in the gown Anna had
loaned her to replace her ruined tunic and trunk hose, Morgana
sighed.

 

 

Ruairc, who had come in from getting the wagon ready for her to ride
comfortably stretched out in the back, immediately moved over to her
side.

 

 

“Why so pensive,
a stor
?” he asked, kissing her brow. "Does
your leg hurt? Because we can leave tomorrow—"

 

 

“It’s not the leg, but you're right, I don’t want to leave. Out
there are nothing but cares and woes,” Morgana admitted in a small
voice. "In here, we've had a blissful time, despite the leg wound."

 

 

“The cares and woes are not so burdensome if you ask for help, allow
others to shoulder some of your burdens, allow me to share with you,
instead of mistrusting me, or trying to be so independent,” Ruairc
pointed out gently. "Man is not an island, you know. Woman even less
so."

 

 

She bit her lip and nodded. “I will rely upon you from now on,
Ruairc. But you must promise me that you’ll be careful. Many in the
clan might still mistrust you after what Aofa said,” Morgana warned.

 

 

“Yes, but now that she and Mary are gone, perhaps we have removed
the traitor from our midst.”

 

 

She fitted her body more fully to his, revelling in his warmth and
strength. “There is still Fergus to deal with, but I think he is
fairly safe in his little dungeon for the moment, until I decide
what to do with him. I would try to get rid of him by cloistering
him in a monastery, only I’m afraid he’d rob the sacred vessels in
no time,” Morgana joked.

 

 

He released her from his embrace with a kiss on her brow. “Wait and
see. Let him stew for a while until he is willing to tell you what
he knows.”

 

 

Morgana sat quietly looking around the room for a few more minutes
until Ruairc said, “I’m ready. What about you?”

 

 

Morgana nodded, and took the hand he held out for her.

 

 

"We can always come back, you know. It's quite romantic here in the
glen," he said quietly.

 

 

She remained silent, fearful that she might blurt out just how much
she wanted him. But Anne's reminder of the consequences of
lovemaking had been a timely one. She had enough to contend with
regarding her bad leg and her clan's turmoil, without risking her
own health and interfering with her skills as a worker or warrior
with a pregnancy.

 

 

So they walked out of the inn and into the bright April sunshine
together silently. Ruairc lifted Morgana into the cart tenderly. She
thanked him with a warm kiss which delighted him, judging from the
surprised and pleased look on his face.

 

 

Mayhap Anna was right. They didn't have to become lovers all at
once, but nor did she have to hold herself back from him all the
time. He had always been a naturally affectionate man. She had
forced him to curb his need to love and be loved for so long, she
had hurt him even when she had not intended to.

 

 

Anna took up the reins, while the two lovers sat side by side curled
up under Ruairc’s cloak for warmth, enjoying the first of the good
spring weather, and frequently sharing tender kisses which set both
their hearts afire.