The Fake Boyfriend Experiment (7 page)

“So, you go to St. Mary’s?” he asked.

I nodded for a third time.
Think of something interesting to say.
But nothing popped into my head except that I’d just realized that muddy guys were hot. Yeah, not going to say that.

His smile slipped a little. “Do you talk?”

“Of course.” Oh, God. My voice was totally hoarse. I cleared my throat. “Yeah. Sorry. So, um, you play football, huh?”

He swung his helmet from his fingertips. “Yeah.”

Oy. Dumb question! Duh, Lily! So, yeah, talk about football. “Do you score lots of runs?”

He slanted a look at me. “You mean touchdowns? You score runs in baseball.”

Did I mean touchdowns? It sounded like I did. Crud! Why was I such a dork? “Um, yeah, do you score a lot of touchdowns?”

His forehead puckered in a little scowl that would have been adorable if I wasn’t completely freaking out right now. “I’m a lineman.”

So? Did that answer my question about the goals? I had no idea. “Oh, right. Got it.”

Silence.

Delilah and Erin were up ahead, laughing and flirting with Jeff and Keith.

Les and I were silent.

Flirt. I should flirt. I tucked my hair behind my ear and tried to give him a scintillating smile. Was that right? How exactly did one flirt? Ah...

“So, um, you play a sport?” he asked.

“I play the piano.” I immediately relaxed. Piano was something I could talk about for hours. Talking about it with a cute guy suddenly made me forget that I hated it. Anything was good with a hottie walking next to me.

He frowned. “Really? Like classical music?”

“Yep. I spent the summer on tour. I played nursing homes and a couple museum luncheons and at a fundraiser for clean lakes in southern Maine. And...” I trailed off at the glazed look on his face. “And stuff like that.”

“Sorry, but I’m not really into the piano thing.” He looked pained. “What else do you do?”

Um... I chewed my lip and tried to think of something. Homework and maintaining personal hygiene didn’t seem like the best answer.

“Like, have you seen any movies lately?” He was starting to sound desperate.

“No. I’ve been pretty busy with the piano. I have this big audition coming up...” I trailed off at the grimace on his face. Okay, so he didn’t want to hear about the audition. “But I
wanted
to see a movie.”

He brightened. “Which one?”

“The one with Matt Damon.” Surely, Matt Damon was in a movie right now, wasn’t he? Maybe.

Les frowned. “He has a movie out right now?”

Or not. Crud. I was
so
bad at this.

He swung his helmet a little more restlessly and glanced ahead at his friends, like he was wishing he was with them instead of with me. “What about television? What’s your favorite show?”

I grimaced as my heart began to pound. “I don’t really get to watch much TV.”

His mouth hardened into a bored line. “Because you’re playing the piano.”

“Yeah.” But I wasn’t a loser! There had to be something interesting about me, didn’t there? Like...um...

He grunted. “You watch sports?”

“Not a lot, but, um, I’d really like to learn about football.”

Interest flickered on his face. “Really? You want to come watch my game on Friday night?”

I grimaced again. “I’d really like to, but I can’t.”

“Piano?

God, the look of pity and disgust on his face was totally embarrassing. “No, I’m going to rob a convenience store. Want to come?”

He stared at me.

“I’m kidding.” I gave a weak laugh. “Joke.” In my head, it had sounded better than admitting I’d played the piano, but it hadn’t come out so well. Obviously, Inverness guys didn’t think jokes about robbing convenience stores were funny. Rafe would probably think it was hilarious. Too bad Rafe had a girlfriend who was terrible at the keyboard.

“Yeah, well, I gotta go change. It was good to meet you.” Les took off in a sprint, ditching me in the middle of the field.

He was running away. From me. Both my fake boyfriends had ditched me before anything had even started. That had to be a record of some kind.

I saw Erin glance back at me as Les ran past her, and she raised her eyebrows and gave me a thumbs up.

I managed to grin and nod.

What were the chances Les was going to go to the semi-formal with me?

Zero.

I was so hosed.

“But he thought you were a little weird and possibly lacking in personality.”

Oh…that wasn’t so good. I clutched the phone in dismay. “Really? Are you sure?” Like that was a surprise, though. I mean, seriously. Was there any chance of him thinking I was charming and interesting based on our conversation? Not so much.

“I don’t know what you said to him,” Erin said, “but if you don’t come to the party and redeem yourself, I doubt he’ll go to the semi-formal with you.”

Anxiety rippled over me. “Redeem myself? How?” Was there a chance? Really?

“Be funny. Talk about something besides the piano. Flirt.”

I bit my lip and fought against the rising panic. I didn’t have a personality, not like my friends did. I was who I was. How was I supposed to fake a life I didn’t have? “Maybe it’s not a good idea. Rafe called tonight and said he wasn’t that high on me going with Les.” Fake boyfriend to the rescue. Sigh.

Erin snorted in disgust. “So what? If Rafe won’t go with you, it’s too bad for him. You have to go. It’s
the
event of the year! Don’t you know that this is the dance where we establish the group of guys we’re going to hang out with for our entire high school career? If we don’t get in with these guys, we’re going to spend the next four years doing our homework on Friday nights instead of having a social life.” She sighed. “You
have
to be part of the group, Lily. It would be horrible without you. Please?”

Oh, man. I wanted to go so badly. “Erin—”

She groaned. “My mom’s yelling at me to clean my room. I have to go. I’ll talk to you at school tomorrow. Party’s at two on Saturday. Please find a way to be there, okay? Gotta go. Bye.”

She hung up, and I threw the phone at the couch. It bounced off and then hit the floor with a crash. The battery cover flew off and ricocheted under the coffee table and the phone beeped, then died. This was so unfair!

My mom opened the door and stuck her head inside. “Time’s up. Practice.”

I jumped up and hurried over to the piano bench. “Mom, I really need to do some studying with Erin on Saturday for this project we have. Can I go over to her house for a few hours in the afternoon?”

My mom’s eyebrows went up. “You have a recital.”

I clenched my fists and hooked my feet around the legs of the bench. “I want to skip it.”

Her brows went even higher. “You can’t skip a recital. What’s wrong with you?”

“Mom, please!” I couldn’t keep the desperation out of my voice. “One day off. That’s all I want. Why is that so much to ask?”

“Because your audition is two weeks from Saturday. Miss Jespersen said you need practice.”

Argh! The audition again! It was like this demonic nightmare stalking me, pecking at my brain until it imploded. “But what if I don’t want to do it?”

My mom frowned. “Do what? The audition?”

“No.” I folded my arms over my chest. “Piano. What if I don’t want to play the piano anymore?”

A dark silence fell over the room. The silence was so thick I could feel it pressing down on me. I couldn’t believe I’d just said that. I’d hated the piano for so long. I’d complained about it. But it had never even occurred to me to actually walk away from it. I hadn’t meant to say it. I hadn’t even thought it, not really.

But now that the words were out there, hovering, I didn’t want to take them back. I felt hope for the first time in a long time, hope that maybe there was a way out of this. No piano. The words made me shudder with excitement. Yeah, sure, there was guilt too, and some shock, but beneath it all was a sense of empowerment. Go me.

“Is Erin trying to talk you out of playing the piano?” my mom finally asked. “Because if she is, I don’t want you spending time with her.”

“No, it’s not Erin. It’s me. Why can’t I—”

The doorbell rang, and a relieved look washed over my mom’s face. “I’ll get that.”

She bolted from the room, no doubt planning to call Miss Jespersen to find out how to deal with me as soon as she got rid of whoever was at the door. I didn’t know who was pushing me harder, my mom or Miss Jespersen. Together, they were too much.

I groaned and flopped back on the piano bench, my head hitting the wood with a thud as I lay down. “Ow.” I propped my feet up on the piano in a show of total disrespect for the instrument and stared at the ceiling, thinking about the party, trying to figure out how in the world I could get there. Party or recital? There was no comparison. I wanted to be free to live my life. I really did.

“Lily.”

I didn’t even look at my mom. “Who was at the door?”

“Miss Jespersen.”

I made a face. “Did she drop off a list of ways to torture me?”

“No, I didn’t,” my piano teacher said.

Yikes
. I yanked my feet off the piano and scrambled up, wishing that for
once
I could manage to keep from making a total idiot of myself. Crusty was standing next to my mom in the doorway, and my dad was standing behind them. Miss Jespersen was in pair of pleated black pants and sensible heels, and my dad was still in his suit from work. All of them looked way serious, and I felt a shimmer of panic crawl up my spine.

Even thinking of Crusty as Rafe’s aunt didn’t keep me from wanting to jump through the window and run away screaming. What was she doing in my home? This was my world, the one place I was safe from her, and she’d tracked me down like an assassin on a mission.

I swallowed hard and lifted my chin. “What’s up?”

My parents and Miss Jespersen filed into the family room and lined up on the couch.

I sat on the piano bench, twitching while I waited for them to attack.

“Where were you after school today?” my dad asked.

I felt the blood drain from my face. How did they know I’d bailed on practicing?

“I came by at three thirty to drop off the backpack you left behind yesterday,” Miss Jespersen said. “You weren’t here. I was so worried that I had to come back tonight and make sure everything was all right.”

Oh, no.
I was so busted! But at the same moment, anger began to roll through me. What right did Crusty have to check up on me and report me to my parents? We all knew she hadn’t come tonight to make sure I was okay. If that had been her only concern, the phone would have worked perfectly well. She came to report me to my parents and get me in trouble.

My mom eyed me. “Not only are we concerned that you obviously lied to us about where you were, but the bigger concern is this audition. You can’t afford to take a day off from practice right now.”

Wow. They were more upset because I’d squandered three hours of my life instead of the fact I’d lied to them and run around town without permission? But they clearly were, because no one had even thought to ask me where I’d gone. It was sort of shocking, actually. What if I told them I had a fake ID and had gone drinking with my friends? Would they even care? I kind of thought not. To them, I was nothing more than a set of fingers that played the piano. That was it. Nothing else.

Crusty nodded, her eyes all beady and demanding as usual, but when I saw the look of annoyance on my dad’s face, it was too much. My dad was always mellow about my piano. He was the one who was my respite, who would ask me about school and homework at the dinner table. He didn’t really care if I went to recitals, and he was always happy to take me for ice cream instead of having me practice when my mom was gone. And yet now they’d gotten to him so much that he was looking at me like I’d let him down?