The Fake Boyfriend Experiment (9 page)

“A test. To see if I really am the failure they think I am.” I closed my eyes and sank onto my bed, the light pink comforter puffing up around me. The band had been fun that one day because I’d done it for myself. Joining the band because Rafe’s aunt was trying to save my career would be no different from piano lessons. This was simply more pressure, one more way to fail. I pressed my hand to my forehead. Only this was even worse, because now I’d actually made an enemy of a guy that used to make me smile. “Forget it, Rafe. I’m not going to do it.” I felt sick again. “Tell Paige she’s in.”

Rafe was quiet for a moment. “You’re serious?”

I looked at myself in my mirror again, and this time I saw the face I was used to seeing. Pinched cheeks, tight mouth, my blue eyes looking worried and sad. I didn’t want to be like that, and Crusty turned me into that girl. Forget it. I was done.
Done.
“Yeah.” Oh, yeah, I was serious. I’d had enough. I couldn’t do this anymore. I wanted out. Rafe had been the one bright light in my life, and that band had been a single good moment, and I wasn’t going to ruin both of them.

He sighed. “Lily, you can’t quit now.”

“No, I’m going to.” I hopped off the bed and stalked across the room to the door. “I’m just going to tell them piano is over for me, all the way. No band or anything. They can’t force me.”

“Forget it, Lily. It’s too late for that.”

I opened the door and yanked it open. “No, it’s not.” I raised my voice. “Mom? Dad? Where are you?”

“Downstairs,” my mom yelled back, and I started to run down the stairs, my heart thudding with the enormity of what I was going to do. This was the final step. No more piano. Ever. Did I really want to do this? I had to. I knew I did. I couldn’t deal with another minute. I didn’t want to look at that girl in the mirror ever, ever again

“Lily! Wait!” Rafe said.

I jumped over the bottom three steps, my bare free slapping on the polished hardwood floor. “What do you want, Rafe? I have to go.” I walked down the hall toward the living room, where my parents were huddled on the couch in deep conversation. My dad’s arm was around my mom, and she looked like she might have been crying. Guilt coursed through me as they both looked up.

Rafe grunted with annoyance. “My aunt will be all over me if you refuse to do it. She’ll blame me and make my life miserable.” A noise that sounded like a crash came from his end.

I hesitated. Oh, man. I could completely believe that Miss Jespersen would make Rafe suffer if she thought he’d made me quit piano forever. If I played in the band, he’d hate me for messing up Mass Attack and his relationship with Paige for a month; but if I didn’t, I’d screw up the band forever because Crusty would ban Rafe from it.

I groaned and leaned back against the doorframe, resting my head against the wood, not quite walking into the living room. Not yet.

Like I wanted to deal with his attitude for a month, but how could I shove him into his aunt’s ruthless path of destruction and torment? I couldn’t abandon a fellow victim, especially since this was my fault anyway. But I didn’t want to play just to make Crusty happy. I didn’t want the pressure anymore. I couldn’t take the stress. I didn’t know what to do. I’d been so psyched to play with Mass Attack for fun, but now it all seemed so tangled up and such a mess.

What did I want? Like really and truly? I knew immediately. I wanted another day like the one I’d had playing with Rafe’s band. Singing, laughing, dancing, and letting the music fill me up and burst out of me. I wanted to play for fun, just because I felt like it. Excitement rushed through me at the idea of having the chance to do that again.

The only place I could do that was in Rafe’s band, but if Crusty was hovering, all that freedom would be gone. “Is your aunt planning to attend rehearsals?”

Rafe made a snort of protest. “God, I hope not.”

“Hang on.” Still leaning against the door frame, I took the phone away from my mouth and turned my head toward my parents. “Is Miss Jespersen going to come to rehearsals?”

My mom glanced at my dad. “I think she’s planning to stop by, hon. Not to coach you, just to check in.”

Rafe overheard her comment. “No way,” he protested. “That’s so wrong!”

“Forget it, Mom.” I folded my arms over my chest. “I’m not playing in the band if she’s going to be there.”

“Lily!” Rafe said. “Don’t do this to me.”

I ignored him. “Either I do this band thing on my own with no interference from you guys, or I’m quitting piano entirely.” It was the only solution I could think of that ended up with Rafe not hating me forever and me not losing my mind. The truth was that I wanted to play in the band. For fun. For me. Without Rafe hating me. The other day when I’d played with them had been the most fun I’d had in a long time, and I wasn’t ready to let it go. I focused my gaze on my dad, because he was the only one who might go against Miss Jespersen. “Dad? Can you make her stay away?”

Dad nodded. “Fine.” He put his hand on my mom’s arm before she could refuse. “Lily needs this. Let her do it.”

My mom gave me a hard look. “You better be on the keyboard. Sitting in the same room playing computer games doesn’t count.”

I grinned, relief spreading through me. I’d done it. I had it the way I wanted. I had another chance to feel like I had that day I’d played with Rafe and his band. “Of course I’ll play when I’m there,” I told her. “Thanks.”

My dad gave me a thumbs up, and my mom managed a worried smile.

I turned and walked out, putting the phone next to my mouth again. “Happy, Rafe?” I was happy. Relieved. I wanted to play, and Rafe wanted me to play as well, even if it was simply to avoid further torture from Crusty. It might not be perfect, but I was so excited to try it.

“You almost blew it,” Rafe said, still sounding cranky. “Are you insane? Didn’t you hear me tell you that if you dropped out my aunt would never let me forget it?”

I grinned, too relieved to take offense at how grumpy he sounded. “I’ll play on one condition.”

He groaned. “What condition?”

“You won’t be a jerk to me the whole time.”

He snorted. “Fine. I’ll be a jerk only some of the time.”

“Rafe!”

He coughed to cover his laughter. Jerk. “Six o’clock tomorrow at Mueller-Fordham. Plan to stay late. We have a gig a week from Saturday and you have a lot of music to learn.”

I tripped on the stairs. “A what
?
”

“Gig. We’re booked to play a middle school dance. See ya.”

I stared at the phone. A gig? Like a piano recital in disguise, only this time I’d have Rafe glaring at me instead of my piano teacher looming over me.

This completely sucked. What had I gotten myself into?

But I couldn’t help but grin. Yes, there might be some major suckitude going on, but my life had suddenly become interesting. Crazy and insane, and I had no idea how it was going to turn out, but I was excited to find out.

* * *

At five minutes before six on Friday, Erin’s mom pulled up in front of Mueller-Fordham to drop me off for band practice. Band practice! How much better did that sound than piano lessons? I was moving up in the world, for sure.

Erin’s mom had taken the four of us to the mall to shop for new bikinis for the pool party on Saturday, which I was now attending since I didn’t have a recital. I was so excited, but nervous too. It wasn’t as if things had gone well with Les on Thursday, and now I was going to have to find a way to be interesting for an entire afternoon? While wearing a bikini!

I’d never had a bikini before. Now I did. Black. Completely sexy. I felt naked with it on and there was no way I was going to wear it at the pool party in front of boys. I was so keeping my shirt on over it.

I’d bought it anyway, because, well, I had to. Like I wasn’t going to buy it when Val, Delilah and Erin had all bought bikinis. Though I had to admit, I was kind of excited about it. I really was.

I’d been so pumped to spend the afternoon with my friends, but in actuality, it had been kind of miserable. Nothing like discovering you’re the only one still wearing a stretchy, white junior bra to make you feel like a dork. My friends had all gone to Victoria Secret over the summer and bought real bras.

Nice of them to tell me before I’d yanked off my shirt in the dressing room and they all started cracking up. Even my belly button ring hadn’t been enough to save me.

But that was over now, because Erin’s mom had bought me a new bra that had padding
and
lace, plus I was about to head into band practice with my fake boyfriend. Band practice! A tattooed drummer! Keyboard! I mean, really, how cool was that? And I was even wearing clothes I liked: a pair of ripped jeans that were way too tight for any proper pianist, and a strappy tank that was cut so low that Crusty would probably call it obscene. I loved it! For the first time in ages, I was actually looking forward to getting out of the car and into the music school.

Of course, that might have something to do with the fact I was about to go play with Rafe. You think? Maybe we would have our own private jam session like we had last time, when we’d totally connected with our music.

“Can we come in with you?” Val asked. “I want to meet Rafe.”

Oh… yeah, that would be a good idea. Not. “No.” I hugged my shopping bag to my chest as I recalled that Rafe was still not completely in the Lily fan club at the moment. My excitement faded, drained away by the memory of how angry he’d been at me for forcing him into using me as their keyboard player. After my humiliation of this afternoon, I was so not up for dealing with Rafe’s hostility. Wasn’t the first day of my Crusty-free existence supposed to be perfect?

“Why can’t we meet him?” Val nudged me, her dark brown curls tumbling wildly over her shoulder. “Does Rafe even exist? Who wants to bet that Lily’s going to her piano lesson, same as usual today?”

Erin’s mom looked back at us, her sunglasses perched on top of her head. “Val. Knock it off.”

I grinned, and she winked at me. I love Erin’s mom. She’s way cooler than mine. She was always wearing jeans and a tee shirt, her hair half-up in a ponytail. She was totally casual, but always looked gorgeous and fun. She was relaxed, and I always felt better hanging out with her.

Delilah opened the door and got out of the car. “I agree with Val. I don’t think Rafe exists. If Lily was really dating some hottie, she wouldn’t still be wearing junior bras. Let’s go see if this fictitious drummer really exists. I bet his name is Albert, he’s twelve and he plays the oboe, right, Lil?”

“No, you’re wrong!” I scrambled out and grabbed her wrist as she started walking into the music school. “Hey! Don’t go in.”

Val hurried out of the car and joined us on the sidewalk. “’Fess up, Lily. You’ve been lying to us since school started.”

My heart started to hammer and I swallowed. Oh, man, I was going to get busted right now, wasn’t I? Just when things were finally starting to come together!

“Get back in the car, girls,” Erin’s mom said, impatiently, shooting me a sympathetic look which made me realize that she also thought I was lying, and she was trying to save me from being exposed. “I have a hair appointment in twenty-minutes and I need to hustle.”

Erin immediately climbed out of the car and stood next to me. “I believe Lily.”

Relief washed over me and I smiled at Erin. Apparently I still had one real friend who was willing to believe it was at least a possibility that I really had a life.

“And she’ll take us in there and prove it, and then you two will look like fools,” she finished.

Or not.

Erin tucked her arm through mine and beamed at me. “Let’s go, Lily.”

Before I could come up with an excuse, Rafe peeled into the parking lot in his black jeep. The engine was roaring, and music blasted from his speakers with a pulsing beat that made my whole body thud. Rafe was wearing sunglasses, a denim jacket and his hair was all messed up from the wind. My heart started to race. This was the guy who had my phone number and gave me rides home? Wow. I was way cooler than I’d realized.

Val sucked in her breath as he swung down from the Jeep. “Who is
he
?”

Please don’t let him notice me.
If he came over and yelled at me for wrecking his relationship with his actual girlfriend while I was standing with my friends, my life would be over. Forever.

“Complete hottie,” Erin agreed, fluffing her hair so it looked even blonder with the sun’s rays glinting off it. “I’m in love.”

“Me, too.” Delilah tucked one of her many tiny braids behind her ear and straightened her macramé necklace. “Do I look okay?”

I grinned at how they were drooling over him. Yep, that was my guy they wanted. Well, he was kind of my guy… “kind of” being the operative phrase…

Rafe looked over. Of course he would. There were four girls standing on the sidewalk right in front of the school. Like he wouldn’t notice. He scanned the group, and I felt my cheeks heat up as his gaze landed on me. His mouth tightened ever so slightly, and I knew he was still mad. Crud!

I had to bail before he got to us and exposed me in front of my friends. But where would I go? And if I took off, everyone would know I’d been lying all along.

There was only one option. If it didn’t work, I was so dead.

I yanked my arm out of Erin’s and ran across the parking lot toward Rafe to intercept him before he could get within earshot of my friends. His eyes widened when he saw me running toward him, and he raised his arms like he was going to fend me off.

I launched myself at him. My body slammed into his with a thud and I threw my arms around his neck. “Rafe!” I said it loud enough for my friends to hear.

He grunted from the impact and grabbed me around the waist to keep me from knocking us both over. My heart thudded down to my toes as his arms wrapped around me. I could feel his body against mine, solid muscle and raw strength. Wow.

Rafe set me back down, his hands still on my hips to keep me from knocking him over. His face was wary and he looked like he was afraid I’d gone insane. “What was that about?”