The Feminine Mystique (61 page)

READING GROUP GUIDE

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

“[T]he image by which modern American women live also leave[s] something out…. This image—created by the women’s magazines, by advertisements, television, movies, novels, columns and books, by experts on marriage and the family, child psychology, sexual adjustment and by the popularizers of sociology and psychoanalysis—shapes women’s lives today and mirrors their dreams.” Betty Friedan first published these words in 1963 when the media’s picture of a woman as wife and mother was certainly leaving something out. What has changed from the image of thirty years ago and what has not? What is today’s image leaving out?


“The feminine mystique says that the highest value and the only commitment for women is the fulfillment of their own femininity…. But however special and different, [this feminity] is in no way inferior to the nature of man; it may even in certain respects be superior.” Does the idea that women’s differences give them a kind of superiority—or at least a certain advantage—have any currency today? In what ways do you see it expressed? Do you think it holds any truth?


Betty Friedan writes: “I never knew a woman, when I was growing up, who used her mind, played her own part in the world, and also loved, and had children.” Discuss how the tension between work and family operates for women today. Are the expectations of men and women different in this regard? Have expectations changed? Do the scars of the feminine mystique play a role in this issue today?


Friedan argues that women were choosing marriage in order to avoid their fears about establishing their own identity and handling the fear and uncertainty that come with being alone. Do you agree with her assessment? Do you agree with the causes she cites: Margaret Mead, Freud and sex-directed education, the aftermath of World War II? Do women today marry for the same reasons?


Are immaturity and dependency words that are still associated with femininity? What are the qualities that the word “woman” connotes today? Discuss the possible origins of these connotations.


In many of her interviews with housewives, Betty Friedan found that the overwhelming sentiment was: “I feel empty—as if I don’t exist.” However, as the author continues, her interviews reveal that these unhappy women are not trying to improve their situations. What is the cause of their anguish? Is society forcing women to be unhappy? To what extent are these women responsible for their own situations?


“Perhaps it is only a sick society, unwilling to face its own problems and unable to conceive of goals and purposes equal to the ability and knowledge of its members, that chooses to