The Fighter Pilot's Baby: A BWWM Military Pregnancy Romance (5 page)

On her second lap
around the living room, Bianca heard the roar of an engine as it
pulled into her driveway. Resisting the need to peek through the
blinds again, Bianca waited, her hands clasped, in the center of the
room. She didn’t want to seem too eager, but she really missed
him those three days they hadn’t spoken and seeing him when she
had this awful news to convey was more than she could take. A glimpse
at her appearance in the mirror over her fireplace made her cringe.
She really looked frazzled. A few deep breaths seemed to ease some of
her tension just as the doorbell rang. Shaking the anxiety from her
hands, Bianca made her way to the door slowly. She couldn’t let
him see how shaken she was. With another deep breath she tugged the
door open. Bianca almost groaned at how good Alex looked. His dirty
blond hair was disheveled as if he just rolled out of bed, or was
running his hands through his hair excessively. His five o’clock
shadow didn’t make him look sloppy, but sexy, and Bianca ached
to rub her cheek against his to feel the burn of the stubble. His sky
blue eyes looked hungry with desire and it took all of Bianca’s
nerve not to yank him inside by the belt loops and devour him.

Bianca backed up as
he muscled his way into the house, the look in his eye made her want
to steer clear of him but her body had other ideas. Alex’s eyes
never left hers as he moved around her and into the living room.
Bianca’s stomach clenched, deep inside, as Alex devoured her
with his eyes that were darkened with lust. He sat down on the couch
and crossed his leg over his knee; his large boots were unlaced and
screamed of a hasty departure from home. The reason for him coming
slammed back to Bianca and broke the trance his stormy blue eyes held
her under. Shaking her head to clear the fog of arousal, she moved
toward him, perching on the arm of the sofa a good distance away from
him. Alex noticed her retreat and hurt momentarily flashed across his
face before it was replaced with a hard look. The desire of moments
earlier was gone. That was when Bianca realized why he thought he was
here. Panic raced through her at the thought. Maybe he would be more
receptive to what she had to say if he wasn’t willing to lose
her either.

“I, um,”
Bianca started, the anxiety she managed to choke back before he
entered the house returning.

“Just say it
already,” Alex snapped, his light blue eyes clouded with anger.

This was going all
wrong. Steeling herself for his reaction, Bianca just blurted it out.
“I saw my doctor today and she told me I’m going into
early menopause. This means I may not be able to have children. I’m
sorry I avoided your text but I wasn’t quite ready to tell
anyone yet because I was still digesting it myself.”

Alex’s face
went from a hard mask of anger to one of sympathy. The way he looked
at her made her want to cry and for a moment she thought she may
prefer his anger instead. She hated to be vulnerable around anyone.

“I’m
sorry Bianca, I…” Alex muttered, a look of chagrin
crossing his face.

Bianca waved it off
as if it was nothing, “It’s okay, it’s not like you
knew what I was going to say. After last weekend, I don’t blame
you.” She responded, moving closer to him on the couch.

They sat that way
for a little while, neither of them saying anything. Alex captured
her hand in his and drew small circles around the top of it with his
thumb. The motion was oddly comforting. Bianca wanted to say
something, but felt like she should wait for his response to her
revelation first. She was surprised he didn’t have more
questions, unless he was just waiting to ask them until he made more
sense of it in his head. The feeling was mutual. She had several
hours to digest the information and still she couldn’t believe
it. Her certainty about what she should do was wavering back and
forth, especially since Alex showed up.

Finally Alex spoke,
his jaw set with determination, “So what did the doctor tell
you were your options?” He asked, his eyes suddenly clear and
taking charge. Bianca liked this side of him, although she felt like
she could take care of herself, especially since she had been doing
it for years.

Taking a deep breath
she began, telling him everything the doctor said and all of her
options. Tears threatened to spill as she finished, and Bianca
swallowed a large lump that had formed in her throat. She did enough
crying, now was time for action. Another deep breath and the lump
dissolved, and Bianca knew what she had to do even if it was
difficult.

*****

Alex listened
patiently as Bianca explained her situation. If she waited too long
she wouldn’t be able to have children, but if she wanted a
child now she would need a sperm donor. Or she could freeze her eggs.
It all made his head spin. The strength with which she dealt with
this whole thing amazed him. On several occasions while she
reiterated the doctor’s words she had looked as if she was
going to cry, only to clear her throat and sound composed again. Alex
wanted to be the shoulder for her to cry on but he wasn’t sure
what she wanted him to do. Did she want him to step back so she could
fulfill her dream of motherhood? Alex had come over here with the
intentions of telling Bianca he wanted to be with her and he wasn’t
going to let her run from him. All of this threw a wrench in his
plans.

Literally scratching
his head with no idea how to proceed, Alex watched Bianca as she
paused, the look of unshed tears appearing in her eyes again. He
wanted to reach for her, to pull her into his chest and never let her
go. He wanted to tell her it would all be okay. But he didn’t
know that for sure. A fleeting thought struck him but he pushed it
away. It was a crazy idea and he wasn’t sure she would accept
it. They had just met, they barely knew one another. Shaking his head
to rid himself of the crazy idea, Alex watched Bianca. She appeared
to be lost in thought. Hopefully her thoughts included him and a
future for them. Although Alex doubted that with her current
situation there would be room for him in her life any longer.

*****

Bianca
watched Alex,
what was he thinking?
Mustering the courage to speak, Bianca cleared her throat again,
another large lump dissipating.

“I think we
need to talk about a few things,” Bianca stated, sitting up
straighter so that she wouldn’t lose her nerve.

A
look of hurt passed across Alex’s face and she almost lost her
nerve. She had to end things if she wanted to proceed with her plans
to have a child. While talking with Alex her options became clearer.
Initially the sperm donor idea seemed ludicrous, but after hearing it
again she realized it was her only shot at utilizing the time she had
left to become a mother. This way she could finish her teaching
degree and then have a baby. There would be no ambiguity about the
future or if she would be able to have a baby in a few years when she
finally met someone. Even if Alex was
the
one
they were so far from the ‘starting
a family’ portion of their relationship that the risk wasn’t
one she was willing to take. Alex would understand if he really
wanted her to be happy.

“I really like
you, Alex, but if I’m going to be able to carry out my dream of
becoming a mother, we can’t pursue this relationship.”
Bianca finished quickly, spitting the words out as if they had a vile
taste.

The wounded look
passed across Alex’s face again before he spoke, “I wish
it didn’t have to be this way, Bianca. I’ll be honest and
say I’ve never felt this way about anyone else before. I had
hoped we could have something real.”

He looked away from
her and Bianca’s heart ached. For a moment she almost took it
back, almost gave up the need to be a mother; a need that she had
since before she knew what it was to have children. No, she couldn’t.
As callous as it sounded, she knew there would be other men.

She shook her head
with resolve, but her voice came out a degree shakier than before, “I
can’t, Alex. I had hoped you’d understand. We’ve
just met and it could be years before we would be ready to have our
own children. I don’t have years.” Bianca sighed, the
pain of loss in her chest weighing her down. How could she feel loss
for a relationship she didn’t even have?

The anger and
sadness that clouded Alex’s handsome face vanished at her
words. Something she said must have got through to him. He must
finally understand.

“Well, there
is one more option that we didn’t consider, you know.”
Alex smiled at Bianca as if they were harboring some sort of inside
joke.

Bianca frowned with
confusion, “I’m not sure what you’re getting at. I
told you all of my options. Not one of them is conducive to us having
a relationship at this point.” She claimed with sadness.

Alex shook his head,
the smirk firm on his face, “Isn’t it obvious, Bianca?”

He stood pulling
Bianca into his arms. With a movement so quick, Bianca had little
time to react, Alex met her mouth with his, his tongue pushing at the
entrance to her lips. Passion enveloped Bianca, but besides that she
didn’t understand what Alex was saying. All thought escaped
her, however, when Alex delved deeper with his kiss, entwining his
tongue with hers. He stroked her tongue with a motion that mimicked
sex and Bianca groaned into his mouth. Their conversation from
moments ago seemed frivolous, as heat spread from Bianca’s core
through her whole body. Her pussy pulsed with need, moisture escaping
the swollen lips and wetting her lace thong panties. She vaguely
remembered an important conversation, but all she felt now was lust.
Bianca threaded her arms around Alex’s neck and plunged her
hands into his soft, shaggy hair, tugging him closer to her. Another
groan of pleasure escaped her mouth as Alex’s hands encircled
her waist and pulled her flush against his body. The hard length of
him pressed against her stomach through his jeans and the feel of it
increased her arousal. There was a nagging feeling in the back of her
mind that she should stop, that this wasn’t what should happen
right now. That’s right, she had other plans. Baby plans. But
this felt so right. Their whole conversation from before flooded back
and Bianca pulled away from Alex with a sigh of resignation.

Shit!

“I-I can’t,”
She muttered, disentangling herself from his embrace.

“But don’t
you see, Bianca? We can. That’s what I was trying to tell you.”
Alex smiled stepping closer to her again. Bridging the gap that she
had just created between them; both physically and emotionally. His
hands gripped her waist as he stared deep into her eyes.

Bianca gasped as the
realization of what he was saying just occurred to her. He was asking
her to carry his baby.

Bianca looked at
Alex; she wasn’t sure what to make of his revelation. For the
fiftieth time she thought about how they were practically strangers.
And he wanted to have a baby with her!

“We can’t.
We shouldn’t.” She mumbled, pulling away from him.

Bianca began to pace
around the room again, her mind racing. The part that scared her the
most was that she was actually considering his offer. No, it was
crazy. Wasn’t it?

“Bianca,”
Alex interrupted her frenzied thoughts. He sidled up behind her and
wrapped his arms around her waist.

Bianca’s heart
fluttered, her stomach was a riot of butterflies. She wanted to tell
him no. That she had a plan. Other plans. This didn’t make
sense. But, he was making it so difficult. His large hands spanned
her size six waist and she yearned to lean back into him, to be
enveloped by his scent; leather, soap and male. The heat from his
large body behind her seared her back and Bianca’s emotions
were in turmoil. Shaking her head to clear her raging hormones,
Bianca spun from his grip.

“No, this
isn’t a good idea,” She asserted, walking across the
room, away from his touch. If he touched her again she might give in.

“Give me one
good reason why?” Alex asked. His gaze was intense as he stared
her down from across the room. Those blue eyes of his turned stormy
and she knew he was getting frustrated.

“We’ve
just met. How do I know this will work? What if we spend more time
together, and I’m already pregnant and we find out we don’t
like each other? Or we have nothing in common?” Bianca wrung
her hands with anxiety as she spoke.

“You have to
admit there’s a connection between us, Bianca. I told you I’ve
never felt this way about anyone else. I doubt in a few weeks, or
even months, that I wouldn’t like you.” Alex stalked
toward her and Bianca backed up nervously, jumping when the backs of
her legs hit the couch.

Bianca sat, since
she was already almost on top of the couch anyway. He was right on
one account. Bianca also never felt this way about anyone else,
especially not in such a short time. But what if she was wrong? Her
instincts with men were skewed because of her mother’s track
record with men. Bianca stood again, unable to stay still. She caught
a look of hope, fleeting as it was, pass across Alex’s face.
Could it be that he wanted a child of his own too? A thought occurred
to her, seconds before she voiced yet another decline to his offer.
She was going to go with a sperm donor anyway. That was the choice
she made this evening after much thought. It would be a faceless man
who would have no claim to her child except to bring them to life.
Why not give her son or daughter a father. A real father. Even if it
didn’t work out she was sure Alex was honorable enough to
remain in the child’s life. Wouldn’t that be better than
raising a child alone?

Nodding her head as
she approached him, a final decision made, Bianca conceded, “Okay.
Let’s do it.”