Authors: L.M. Trio
“It is now,” I whisper.
***
I feel Luke stir as I barely open my eye to see the light shining through the window. He kisses me below the ear, moving closer and molding his body to mine. Usually we love this time of morning, waking up together, but not this morning. I don’t want to face him. There’s a good chance I won’t be able to hold back if he questions me about last night. I lie still, keeping my eyes tightly shut, not giving in to the tingling sensation I’m feeling from his kisses along the back of my neck. Thankfully, I’m saved by the ringing of his phone. He jumps out of bed and goes into the other room.
***
(Luke)
“Yo, what’s up?” I whisper to Mikey, curious as to why he’s calling so early.
“I need to talk to you. Can we get breakfast?”
“Yeah, sure. What’s up? Everything okay?” I can tell something isn’t right in his voice, he sounds winded.
“That’s what I want to talk to you about. I’m on my way. I’ll be there in a few minutes.”
I jump in the shower in the main bath, trying to figure out what is going on. I throw on a pair of jeans and t-shirt and re-enter the spare room. JJ is still sleeping. I lean down and kiss her cheek. She stirs a little, but doesn’t open her eyes.
“I’ll be back in a little bit,” I whisper.
“Where are you going so early?” she asks sleepily.
“Mikey called. I hope everything’s okay. He wants to talk. It’s got me worried, it’s not like him.”
“Well, just be there for him,” she says lazily.
“JJ, what do you know? What’s goin’ on?” I ask, realizing how quickly she rushed out last night. “Last night you rushed off ‘cause De needed to talk and this morning, Mikey just happens to call me, asking to talk. Is that a coincidence?” She doesn’t answer. I walk around to her side of the bed to face her. Her eyes are closed. “And stop pretending you’re asleep.”
“I am sleeping. I’m tired,” she answers with her eyes tightly shut.
Once again, we are interrupted. This time it’s Mikey’s fist pounding on the door, sounding as if he’s about to knock it down.
“I love you,” she calls out guiltily as I leave the room.
“Love you, too. We’ll talk later,” I say, knowing something isn’t right.
I answer the door to Mikey’s pounding fist as he nervously paces the porch. It’s unusually cold outside, but he’s sweating.
“Yo, dude, relax,” I whisper, opening the door to let him in.
“Nah, I don’t want to come in. You ready?”
“Yeah, let me grab a jacket.” Mikey continues to pace while I grab my hoodie out of the closet. I’ve only seen Mikey like this one other time and that was when I was in trouble. His nervousness is making me uptight.
I jump on my bike and follow him as we head towards the beach. We pull into a parking space across the street from a coffee shop and Mikey walks quickly in its direction. I have to jog a bit to keep up with his quick pace. He orders a coffee at the counter and asks me what I want.
“Coffee, bagel and cream cheese,” I say to the girl behind the counter. Mikey pays her and heads out the door while I wait for her to hand me my bag and then I follow him.
“Yo, man, what’s goin’ on? You’re making me nuts,” I say as we cross the street and walk along the path near the beach.
“I fucked up.”
“It can’t be that bad. It’s not like you killed someone, right?” I ask nervously, trying to crack a joke.
“Lora Rae’s pregnant.”
“Shit. Is it yours?” I stop in my tracks.
“I don’t know. She says it is.” We both start walking, using the same fast pace Mikey was using before.
“Okay, first we’ll find out for sure. How long has she known?”
“She said she found out a few days ago. I don’t know what to believe. She flew in yesterday. I was supposed to meet her last night. I was planning on making it clear to her once and for all that it is over. I’ve been trying to end things with her for a while and she knows that. I didn’t show up when I was supposed to, she called and that’s when she told me.”
“Yo, dude. Don’t panic. Maybe it’s not yours. You said she was wild.”
“Yeah, you know how I am about that shit, I don’t take chances, but there was one time when it broke. She said it was no big deal, she takes care of that stuff, too, and to be honest, in the heat of it, it sounded good enough to me. I never gave it another thought.”
We walk in silence for a minute, both contemplating the situation.
“What if it is?” Mikey asks quietly.
“Then, you’ll deal with it. You’ll be there for your kid no matter what.”
“I know. It’s scary, ya know? I don’t know her that well. I do know she likes to party. God knows what she’ll do while she’s pregnant. She’s not someone I’d want to be the mother of my kid.”
“I know. It sucks, but don’t get ahead of yourself.”
Again there’s silence between us as we continue to walk the path.
“There’s more,” Mikey confesses.
“What twins?” I ask with a nervous grin. Mikey doesn’t smile. I somehow get the feeling that this is more troubling to him than the fact that Lora Rae is pregnant.
“I don’t know how to tell you.”
“Dude, don’t do this to me.” I tense up, watching Mikey once again begin to quicken his pace.
“Ah… This sucks.” Mikey sighs, stalling. Nervously tossing his half empty cup into a nearby trash can. “It’s about De.” I stop dead, forcing him to stop as well.
“What about her?” I ask, afraid to hear what he has to say.
***
(Mikey)
My heart is pounding against my chest as I stare Luke in the eyes for about ten seconds before answering while he stares back, waiting for my answer.
“I’m in love with her,” I blurt out while looking down at the ground.
“No, you’re not
.” Luke states firmly, staring me down.
“I wish I wasn’t, but I am and she knows it. I told her last night,” I say, answering his firm gaze with my own. I wait for Luke to say something, anything, but he doesn’t, which forces me to keep talking. “That’s why I blew off Lora Rae. De was at the condo when I got back from Boston last night. I wasn’t expecting her to be there, we ended up in a deep conversation and that’s when I told her how I felt about her.”
“You can’t. She’s like your sister.”
“But she’s not my sister, she’s yours. Trust me, I’ve been fighting this battle for a long time. I told myself the same thing over and over. I couldn’t even admit it to myself, let alone her… and now you.”
“You shouldn’t have said anything to her while you were still involved with Lora Rae.”
“I didn’t think I was involved with Lora Rae.”
“See Mikey, that’s the thing, you do this shit all the time. You don’t consider anyone else’s feelings. You’re into a new girl every time I turn around. You always have been and now you’re dragging my sister into this shit.”
I can see the regret on Luke’s face once he says it. I don’t blame him, I deserve it. I feel the same way. It’s his sister and he’s protective of her. Hell, so am I.
“You’re right. I’m sorry, but please don’t tell me how I feel about your sister. You know I’d never treat her with anything except respect and love. You should at least know that about me, without me having to say it.” I look at him long and hard before continuing, “It doesn’t matter anyway. She knows about Lora Rae. I already told her I wouldn’t let her be involved with this shit. It was over between us before it ever got started… So, you don’t have to worry about me dragging your sister into this. I put it to rest.”
“Look. I didn’t mean what I said. I know you would never hurt her. Shit, you’ve been there for her more than me the last few years. God knows I was wrapped up in my own problems long enough while you picked up the pieces for everyone,” he says, softening his tone. “What did she have to say about it?”
“I think she’s hurt, but she’ll get over it. It’s not like we had this big love affair going on or anything. I mean, Lora Rae called literally like five minutes after I told her how I felt. It wasn’t even long enough for either one of us to process it.”
***
(Luke)
“Does she feel the same way?” I know the answer before I even ask the question. Thinking back, the signs were there all along. They’ve always had a special bond between them.
“It doesn’t matter now.”
“I think it does.”
“She said she’s in love with me, too.” Mikey looks me straight in the eyes. I see the pain in my friend’s face. “Like I said, it doesn’t matter now,” he repeats.
“I know my sister and if she feels the same way
, it matters
.”
“Yeah, well, I won’t involve her in this. It may get ugly. I made it clear to De we will never be more than friends.”
“Wow. Déjà vu. I tried that before, remember? You see how that worked out. If there’s one thing I learned it’s that if two people love each other, then one of them doesn’t get to tell the other how they should or should not feel. I think you may have said something like that to me at one point, not so long ago.” I look at him slyly, reminding him of a conversation we had a couple of years ago pertaining to me and JJ.
“That was different. You and JJ were already in deep back then when all of that went down. De and I haven’t even started anything.”
I didn’t say anything, yet I think he gets the point of what I’m trying to tell him. By this time, we’ve done a full circle and reached the parking lot where our bikes are parked.
“Mikey?”
“Yeah?”
“It’ll work out. Maybe Lora Rae is lying.”
“Maybe.”
“Thanks for telling me all of it. I know it wasn’t easy for you to admit that to me.”
“You have no idea.”
“I’m guessing JJ knows?”
“Yeah, she knows… way before I did.”
I laugh, remembering all of the hints she’s dropped about them over the years.
Chapter 24
(Deanna)
I fly home for a few days following Lora Rae’s big news. I need my mom. She loves Mikey like a son. I want to discuss the situation with her and get her advice.
“Sweetie, he’s been in love with you for as long as I can remember, but right now, he needs his space. Give him a chance to figure things out. There is no doubt how he feels about you, but this is no way to begin a relationship. It wouldn’t be fair to either one of you right now,” my mom says as we cuddle on the couch, sipping our morning coffee.
“It’s going to hurt watching her have his baby, but I don’t want to give him up because of it either. He pushed me away. He thinks by letting me go that he is sparing me from being involved in this mess.”
“It’s a trait that he and your brother share. They push the people they love away because they think they are protecting them. You think he would have learned his lesson by watching what Luke went through. Be patient Deanna. Like I said, give him his space. Give him time to work this out. He will do the right thing by you and his baby.”
“Mom,
if it is his baby
. He’s not even sure.”
“That’s what I’m saying, be patient. Give him a chance to find out exactly what he is dealing with. I have faith that he knows what he’s doing. Go back and focus on your school work and friends.”
“How do I act around him?”
“The same way you always have.”
***
Once back in Tampa, I try taking my mom’s advice and
try
to act as normal as possible around him, but he’s making it awkward. Every time we’re in the same place at the same time, he tenses up and leaves the room. He’s barely said anything to me since I’ve been back. It’s frustrating and upsetting. The one thing I’m most afraid of is losing the friendship we share.
About a week after I’m back, Lora Rae is spotted leaving a famous celebrity ob-gyn office. The tabloids jump all over the story and rumors of her pregnancy spread along with speculations of who the father is.
JJ tells me Lora Rae called him and asked him to fly out to LA to be with her because she’s worried about tarnishing her reputation. Sure she is. It was already reported that they had broken up. She’s hoping to do some damage control… I’ll bet, I think sarcastically.
***
(Mikey)
Feeling obligated, I decide to go, figuring it will be a good opportunity to keep an eye on her. If she is carrying my baby, I feel I have the right to know if she stopped her partying ways. I want to be sure she is taking care of herself properly.
As soon as we are spotted together, the speculation is pointed at me. As much as Lora Rae protests to me that she is upset that the information leaked out to the media, I can’t seem to shake the feeling that she is enjoying the attention. Her publicist refuses to confirm or deny the rumor.
While here, I don’t dare give her an ounce of false hope thinking there may be a chance for us. I try talking with her about getting a prenatal paternity test, but she refuses. She says there may be a chance it can harm the baby and she doesn’t want to take the chance. I have to respect her wishes. She has every right to refuse if that’s how she feels about it, but once the baby is born, I
will
force the issue.