The Final Score (6 page)

Mikey gives us an update on his promotion to the Triple A Durham Bulls. I sincerely can’t help
being happy for him. It’s the one thing I’m honest about. There is no jealously where baseball is concerned. There is nothing I want more than to see him succeed. He’s worked hard for it, he earned it. I respect him for that. No one knows more than me how much time is dedicated to get to where he is.

“Yo
, bud, ya want to go hit some balls down at the field?” he asks.

“Yeah sure, give me sec. I got to check in
,” I answer, picking up my cell to put the call in that I’m heading out. I have permission to leave my home as long as I stay in a specific radius of the house.

We grab our bags and a bucket of balls just like old times and head down to the field. I practice my pitching, while Mikey catches. Instantly, we get back to our usual rhythm as if no time has passed between us.

“Yo, man, you are throwin’ some heat. You haven’t missed a beat. Your fastballs gotta be clockin’ bout 96-98. Your power breakin’ ball is devastating. You still got all that nasty stuff goin’ on.”

“Thanks
, man. It feels good, I guess,” I say with a bit of hesitance. Being on the field with Mikey, practicing like we used to, makes me forget all of my issues. Things just seem to click and it gets my adrenaline kicked up in full gear.

“Let me try hittin’ a few
,” he says excitedly, grabbing his bat from the bag.

I pitch while he swings away. “You’re hittin them!” I holler out, watching as one soars across the sky, finally landing somewhere in the football field.

“Yeah, well, that’s ‘cause I know you. I know what you’re gonna throw, and… I’m strugglin’ right now. I’m telling you, man, seriously, there isn’t anyone throwin’ what you’re throwin’ out there. I’ve faced a lot of guys over the last couple years. You’ve got it all over them.”

The compliment makes me smile, the first real smile in a long time. We continue to take turns, hitting, catching, and throwing the ball around
; taking and offering advice to each other just like old times. When the sun begins to set, we finally realize how much time has passed.

“Yo, I better get back. I turn into a pumpkin if I’m not home by a certain time
,” I tease, hating that we have to end our fun.

“Then we better get goin’
,” Mikey agrees as he tosses the loose balls into the bucket.

As we walk the familiar route back to our house, Mikey mentions something about his stopover in Florida, which in turn, sends me back to
what’s now becoming my normal crappy self. For some reason, the good times don’t last for long.

“Why did you say you had to stopover in Florida
, again?” I question in my Mr. Hyde voice.

Mikey looks at me in a funny way, the tone of my voice catch
ing him off guard. I’m sure he’s wondering what brought on the sudden mood change.

“I hadn’t been home since April and I had to check on a few things
,” he says casually, shrugging his shoulders.

“I’ll bet
.
Check on a few things
,” I reply sarcastically with a cynical laugh.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He laughs, shrugging off my sarcasm.

“Check on a few things or check on
someone
?” I ask, not bothering to hide my sudden aggression towards him.

“Luke
, if you want to ask me somethin’, go ahead. What’s on your mind?” He stands in front of me, blocking me from moving forward, forcing me to stop while he stares me in the eyes.

“Are you fuckin’ her?!” I blurt out angrily, glaring back.

“What? Who?” Mikey asks defensively, momentarily looking confused.

“You know who
. Don’t fuck with me, be honest!” I shout as we stand at the end of the street. My anger gets the best of me as we stand face-to-face. I know I crossed the line as soon as the words spill from my mouth.

“I’m not even goin’ to answer that. Just because you’ve been living with a bunch of fuckin’ animals the last couple of years, doesn’t give you the right to treat everyone like shit. If you even have to ask me that
, then fuck you! Honestly, I’m sick of your bullshit! Everyone’s been walkin’ on eggshells around you since you’ve been home. You’ve got your mom and your sister’s stomachs in knots; they don’t know what the hell to say to you, always afraid to upset you! Stop feelin’ fuckin’ sorry for yourself and get on with your life! You’re fuckin’ twenty-one-years-old. You still have your whole life ahead of you!” he shouts, pointing his finger in my face, bumping my shoulder as he storms past me.

I lean back against the blue Ford pick-up at the end of our street
and lower my head. I’m already regretting what I’ve implied. We’ve never argued like that before. I stay awhile longer, embarrassed to face everyone at home. When I finally get the nerve to go inside, my mom is in the kitchen, standing by the door.

“What happened?”
she asks nervously.

“Nothing
,” I answer, hanging my head low as I head for the steps, taking two at a time. I lay on my bed, feeling like a complete jerk-off as I mull over the last couple of months in my head.

What is wrong with me? He’s right. I’ve barely talked with anyone since I’ve been home
. I mean, really talk. It’s all been superficial bullshit. Anytime anyone tries to ask anything of importance, I clam up and head to my room.

After awhile I make my way downstairs, wanting to apologize. “Where’d Mikey go?” I ask my mom sheepishly while she pretends to be immersed in a re-run of
CSI
on TV.

“He went for a walk with Deanna
,” she replies.

***

(Mikey)

As we stroll along the water, there is a slight breeze rolling off the ocean, cooling the air just a bit as Deanna tries to keep up with my brisk strides. The steam coming from my body has nothing to do with the heat.

“Can you believe that shit?” I ask, referring to Luke’s accusation.

“Why would he say that? What is wrong with him?”
she asks with her voice full of angst as she keeps a slight jog to keep up with me.

“He’s fuckin’ nuts! That’s what’s wrong with him. He’s lost it
,” I answer, full of hostility.

“God
, Mikey, don’t say that,” She chastises, fearing it may be true. “What can we do? I don’t even know what to say to him anymore.”

I hear her voice quiver and I glance down at her beautiful
, chestnut, misted eyes. My heart softens when I see her face, and I stop in my tracks to pull her into my arms, holding her tightly. I know it frightens her, thinking we’ll never have the same Luke we know back again. It kills me watching her be this upset. I want to take all of that away from her.

“He’s gonna be fine
,” I say, holding her close while rubbing her back. “Maybe it’s a good thing he got that off his chest. At least he showed some type of emotion. It’s better than him walkin’ around acting as if he doesn’t give a shit about anything,” I offer, trying to reassure her.

I wrap her small, soft hand in mine
and she holds onto it tightly. We begin to walk again, this time at a more relaxed pace.

“You know what? I think you’re right. What should we do?”
she asks diligently after thinking it over for a few minutes.

“Nothing. Let him work through it. We can only just be there for him when he’s ready to talk
,” I answer, happy to hear her enthusiasm.

“Are you two going to be alright?”
she asks, looking up at me curiously.

“DeDe
, c’mon. Do you really think I’d let somethin’ like that come between us? Big deal, he flipped out. It’s about time. He’s usually so damn low-key. I’m over it already.” I give her a wink and a smile.

I can sense her body calming itself down as she interlocks her arm with mine and holds on tightly
while we make our way back to the house. There is nothing that I wouldn’t do to make things better for her. I want her to always be able to depend on me. Nothing brings me more pleasure than seeing her smile. It’s been that way for me for as long as I can remember.

Maria is having a cup of coffee when we burst through the kitchen door
, laughing hysterically and trying to catch our breath. We’re always competing. I gave her a good head start before we raced the rest of the way home. Just as she is about to reach for the door, thinking she has beat me, I push her aside and take the lead. As much as I love making her smile, I equally love when she pretends to be pissed at me.

“So much for gallantry
,” Maria laughs, mumbling to herself.

It makes her happy to see us laughing. She knew something went down between me and Luke earlier. The last thing she needs is for her boys to be arguing. I know she thinks of me in that way.

“Is everything okay?” she asks, looking at me curiously.

“Yep, everything is going to be great. I promise
,” I assure her, giving her a peck on the cheek, hoping to ease some of her tension.

Deanna and I continue the bantering as we head to the rec room to watch a movie. It feels good to be home and spend a couple of days together. I’ve missed this
. I’ve missed her. Just as we finally agree on a movie, Luke appears, standing in the doorway.

“Hey, can I talk to you for a second?”
he asks meekly, looking at me.

“Yeah, sure
,” I reply, springing up from the couch and handing De the remote.

I follow him out to the garage
where Luke closes the door behind us to give us some privacy and takes a seat on the weight bench.

“Look
, I don’t know what is wrong with me. I’m sorry. I was way,
way
out of line. I shouldn’t have talked to you like that,” he says with sincerity. “And if you are with her, I have no business saying anything about it,” he adds, looking down at the carpet, unable to face me.

“No problem, I understand
,” I answer sympathetically. “Let me be clear… ” I say, making sure I have his full attention. He looks up at me. “
Nothing
is going on between us
now… or
in the past.
You should know that. We are friends. That’s it,” I state firmly. “I can’t believe you would think somethin’ like that. I never know how to handle that subject with you. Do you want to know about her? Do you
not
want to know about her? It drives De and I crazy. Trust me, I feel on edge about that subject, too. I know that you know I see her often. You can ask me anything, I’ll be up front.”

Luke rises from the weight bench and starts pacing the room like a caged rat. He runs his hands through his hair. I know he is struggling with moving forward, but I want him to get past it. I take his place on the weight bench and straddle my legs over the side while I patiently wait for him to gather his thoughts.

***

(Luke)

This is it. This is what I’ve been waiting to hear for two years. It’s now or never. I pace the floor, trying to rid the lump from my throat so that I can get the words to move past it.

“I still love her
,” I blurt out, glancing timidly in his direction. Mikey sits quietly and gives me his full attention. He lets me continue, letting me say what I have needed to say. “I want to know about her; how she’s doin’, what she’s been up to, has she moved on, does she ever ask about me?” I figure I might as well put it all out there at once. My heart is jumping out of my chest. At this moment, I literally feel as if I’m having a heart attack as I stare at him waiting for a response.

“Finally
,” Mikey says dramatically, throwing his arms up in relief, shooting me a smile. I would have laughed if I wasn’t so damn nervous, anticipating his answer. “Since she’s moved to Florida, she keeps really busy with school, work, painting, work, volunteering, and work.” He laughs, shaking his head, referring to the amount of time she spends working. “She’s moved on as far as those types of things go. If you’re asking if she’s involved with anyone, the answer is,
not yet.
I think there is someone who is interested, but she has yet to act on it. They’re friendly. It took her a long time to get to this point. I’m not goin’ to lie to you… you messed her up for a while.” I shake my head knowingly, hanging on his every word. “I don’t mention you to her, neither does DeDe. You both made it clear you wanted it to be that way. De and I felt if either of you asked, we would tell you what you wanted to know. De told her you’ve been out since April. She asked how you were and nothing more.” Mikey isn’t trying to hurt me, he’s being honest, which is what I expect. “You have to understand, it was hard… ya know? The way you left things with her.”

“I know
,” I answer, full of sorrow. “It’s okay, go on.”

“Basically, De and I act the same way with her as we do with you. I guess it’s our way of trying to be a friend to both of you. You never ask for details and neither does she.”

Fair enough
, I think to myself, considering how things went down between us. “Thanks, man, I appreciate you bein’ honest. Does she look the same?”