The Fold (22 page)

Apa and Andy came rushing over from the far
playground near the parking lot, with Sam right behind them.

“Yuh-boh,” Apa said, “is everything all right?”

Uhmma nodded tightly and then glanced at Gomo, who was standing off to the side, clutching her purse, immobile and mute, while her eyes darted from family member to family member.

Sam walked up and stood near Gina, who glanced at him with a grateful smile. Mrs. Lee, when she noticed her friends and daughter gathered together, stopped conversing with the pastor’s wife and walked over to them. The entire family gathered together in a tight circle around Helen. Joyce could feel Helen’s body trembling next to her, so she reached out and took Helen’s hand. All around them the congregation continued to ripple with whispers while they stood silently in the eye of the storm. Helen kept her head up, refusing to let anyone see her upset. Joyce glanced over at a small circle of people standing on the lawn laughing especially loud. Lisa Yim and her friends. Joyce found herself longing for a dart to aim at Lisa’s chest. Andy caught her gaze and narrowed his eyes at Lisa.

“Let us go,” Uhmma said quietly and began to move forward. The group followed her lead and headed for the
stairs that led down to the parking lot. Gomo stepped forward and joined the family, gesturing to her friends to follow. The older ladies fell into step behind Gomo. Some people called out their good-byes as the family slowly exited the courtyard. Others reached out and shook Apa’s hand or bowed to Gomo and the elder ladies.

John and his father were standing off to the side watching everything unfold with puzzled looks on their faces. It had definitely been a while since they had experienced a Sunday at the Korean church. As Joyce passed John, she peeked over at him and caught his eyes. John raised two fingers in a peace sign and winked.

This time, Joyce winked back.

Just as everyone was heading down the steps, Andy broke from the group, running quickly across the lawn. He did a commando tumble-roll move and then aimed his squirt gun right at Lisa Yim. He fired off two rounds of some syrupy substance that clung and slowly dripped down the front of her dress. Bull’s-eye.

Lisa stared down at her chest and began to scream. Andy took off running and joined the family again.

“What’s in there?” Joyce asked, half hoping he wouldn’t tell her, since she had almost been sprayed by the same stuff just the other day.

“I
crushed all my shark liver extract pills and loaded them into my gun,” Andy said. “I was saving it for Tom Koh, but he was sick today.”

“You are so gross,” Joyce said with a grin. “Good aim.”

Andy pointed at himself. “And Uhmma thought those video games would just rot my brain.”

joyce
sat in Dr. Reiner’s outpatient operating room, the crinkle of her paper gown as loud as the boom of her heartbeat in her ears. This was it. The final moment before she would enter her cocoon to emerge as a gorgeous new butterfly. Joyce worried the front of her gown as she waited for Dr. Reiner to enter. To keep her mind off the imminent procedure, she tried to imagine what Gina was doing right then. Probably shopping for a new dress to wear to the opening of Sam’s show the next day. Joyce stared up at the lights and started counting all the fixtures. Gina was out there having fun while Joyce sat here waiting to get cut up. The thought of sitting around at home the next few days, woozy on painkillers, did not seem very glamorous.

Joyce swung her legs and took deep breaths through her mouth to quell the nausea that arose instantly at the thought of all that pain. She tried to imagine what Helen was doing. Packing. Helen was probably getting all her books and clothes together to move into the dorms. Joyce smiled at the thought of Helen’s face glowing with anticipation. For the first time, Helen was going to have a life of her own. It had been a long time since Joyce remembered seeing her sister so happy. And for the first time in her whole life, Joyce was going to have her own room.

Darn! Joyce punched the padded bed she was sitting on. She was going to miss out on the shopping sprees Gomo had promised to help decorate Helen’s and Joyce’s new rooms. She knew Gomo would take her after she was well enough to go out, but shopping with Helen and Gomo would have been much more enjoyable. Argh!

It would only be a few weeks of recuperation, but even that time seemed endless compared to all that Joyce would be missing and had missed while she had been so preoccupied with the way she looked. The longer she sat there waiting, the more it felt like life was moving forward without her. Joyce bit her lower lip. And what if John called? How was she going to explain why she couldn’t
see him for a while? He would show up at church and she wouldn’t be there to talk to him. But Lisa Yim would be there for sure. Joyce stared pinching the fat above her knees. That Lisa Yim would use every trick she knew to get John.

Joyce sighed. What was taking so long? She jumped off the bed and started to pace. What was she doing here waiting anyway? Was this what she really wanted? She had believed the folds would make her more attractive and confident, but it was feeling more and more like an obstacle to all the things that she really wanted to be doing. Who was this girl, woman, young adult sitting here waiting to change? Did this define her? And if she didn’t really know herself, know what was true to her, then how could she begin to permanently change her face? Would she regret it later? Joyce didn’t know. And that was a problem.

Joyce stood up and grabbed the back of her gown to keep her butt covered up and stepped out into the hall.

“Excuse me,” she called out. “Excuse me.”

Gomo and Uhmma were looking at magazines when Joyce walked out into the waiting room, dressed in her regular clothes.

Uhmma stood up and rushed to her side. “Did something go wrong, Joyce?”

Gomo dropped her magazine on the coffee table. “She could not do it.”

Joyce shook her head. “I don’t want my eyes to look any different. I don’t care about getting a san-gah-pu-rhee. I thought it was what I wanted to help me look better and feel good about myself, but I’m tired of being obsessed with how I look. I’m okay with being just me. And I have a lot of other things I want to do this summer.”

Uhmma nodded.

Gomo stepped forward. “Would you like me to reschedule Dr. Rie-ne-or? Maybe this is not the best time for you.”

Joyce bowed to Gomo and said, “Gam-sah-ham-nee-da, Gomo. I appreciate your offer, but this is who I am.” Joyce looked down at herself. “I might not be the prettiest or the smartest or even know what I want to be someday, but I do know what’s important to me right now.” Joyce paused, nervously glancing at Uhmma before asking Gomo a question. “I have a request, Gomo. Instead of paying for me to get my eyes done, can you use the money to help Gina get clear braces for her teeth instead?”

Gomo tilted her head in confusion. “You want me to help Gina with her braces?”

Uhmma’s eyes softened as she studied her younger daughter’s face.

Joyce nodded. “It would make Gina’s year.”

Gomo thought it over. “I see no problem with that.”

Uhmma smiled at Joyce. “Mrs. Lee will be very happy for the help.”

Gomo reached out and patted Joyce’s shoulders. “You are just like me. Such a big heart.”

Joyce grinned. It wasn’t so bad to be like Michael, after all. Besides, if Joyce ever wanted the folds back in her eyes, she had some glue that Dr. Reiner had happily provided for her. Joyce reached behind her and patted the bump in her back pocket. Who knew when she might need a shot of adventure? There was no harm in having a little fun.