The Forest Ranger's Child (14 page)

“Now I know your secret,” she said.

He felt a bit out of sorts to be caught giving a treat to the horse. “Try it sometime. Pretty soon, I’ll have these horses coming right over to me hoping I’ll give them one.”

“I’m sure you’ll make good friends with every horse on the place.”

I hope so, he thought to himself. But what he really wanted was to be friends—good friends—with Lily. Maybe even more than friends. But training horses had taught him the most important lesson of all: patience.

* * *

Monday morning, Nate drove down Main Street in town, heading back to the office after meeting with a local rancher. He wanted to complete a watershed study before he drove out to Emerald Ranch to work with the horses that afternoon. As he passed the bank, a flash of red caught his eye. Lily wearing a red sweater came out of the pawn shop, walking fast as she hurried toward her father’s truck parked in front. She didn’t notice Nate as he drove by. He almost honked the horn to draw her attention but thought better of it. What was she doing in the pawn shop?

He drove two more blocks before he made a U-turn and returned to the store. Parking his truck in the back, he went in through the side entrance.

A little bell tinkled overhead as he opened the door. Carl Jutledge looked up from the front cash register. Window cases lined the room, filled with an odd assortment of jewelry, guns and coins. The air smelled musty, the lighting dim. The whole place had a sleazy feel about it.

“Morning, Ranger. What can I do for you?” Carl grinned, showing yellowed teeth.

“A young woman was just in here.” Nate felt a bit uncomfortable inquiring about Lily’s personal business, but he had to know what she’d been doing.

“Yeah, so?”

“What did she want?”

Carl’s eyes narrowed. “She ain’t stolen nothing from you, has she?”

“Of course not. I’d just like to know what she wanted.”

Carl showed a worried smile. “The way I see it, it ain’t none of your business.”

Nate leaned his elbow on the counter, trying to appear casual as he held a twenty-dollar bill between his fingers. “You’re right, but I might be able to make it worth your while.”

Carl’s small eyes wavered between the greenery and Nate’s stoic expression. “In that case, she sold me this. It’s a rare beauty.”

Carl reached for a cloth-lined dish and placed it on the counter. Nate sucked in a slow breath when he saw the size of the sparkling gem displayed in a band of white gold and set off by numerous smaller diamonds. The ring Lily always wore around her neck. Her mother’s engagement ring, with a sizable rock that must be worth a tidy sum.

Nate reached to pick it up. “May I?”

“Sure! It’s quality, I can tell you.”

“How many carats is it?”

“Three and I’ve confirmed ownership. She had the papers and everything. This diamond’s certified. Excellent color and clarity. A real beauty. Worth a small fortune.”

Nate gave a low whistle. “Why did she sell the ring to you?”

Carl shrugged. “Said she needed the money. You interested?”

A dark feeling settled in Nate’s chest. He’d heard a few things around town about Hank’s overdue bills. And from the looks of their hay supply, Nate figured Hank was low on funds. Without asking, Nate realized Lily had pawned her ring so she could help take care of the ranch. But this was her mother’s ring. Nate didn’t believe Lily would pawn it unless she was utterly desperate for cash.

“Did she say where she got the ring from?” Nate asked.

A totally fake, sad look filled Carl’s eyes. Nate knew it was all for show, just to make a sale. “She said it was her momma’s ring. Her daddy gave it to her the day her momma died. She hated to part with it, but she figured her mom would understand.”

Nate bit back a harsh breath. Lily had sold a priceless heirloom from her mother to keep the ranch safe. Once again, Nate couldn’t help admiring Lily. She’d selflessly put aside her own needs to take care of her dad. And all Nate wanted was to make Lily smile.

* * *

That evening, Nate was working with one of the colts at Emerald Ranch when Bill Stokely and his son rode up on horses. Herding approximately twenty red and black Angus cows in front of them, the two men waved.

Nate paused, letting the horse beneath him catch his breath for a moment. Lily walked out to greet the Stokelys, then waddled over to the gate, opened it wide and let Bill herd the cows into the pasture. Hank stood in the middle of the yard, his mouth hanging open in surprise. Obviously he hadn’t known anything about this.

“Well, I’ll be.” Nate chuckled beneath his breath. Somehow, Lily must have made a deal with Bill. Pawning her mother’s ring wouldn’t pay for this many cows. So how had she convinced Bill to give her the beefs?

Nate stepped off the colt and tied the animal to the fence, which would let the horse get used to standing at a tie. Nate then sauntered out into the yard to chat. What he really wanted was information.

“What’s going on?” Nate asked Hank.

The two men stood beside the railing of the fence, watching Bill move the cattle farther into the pasture. In one mass, the beefs moved away and then immediately went about grazing on the rich feed.

“I have no idea.” Hank leaned his arms against the top rail of the fence.

Lily soon joined them, securing the latch on the gate while Bill ensured the cattle were okay.

“You want to tell me what this is all about?” Hank asked his daughter.

Lily lifted one booted foot up to rest on the bottom rail of the fence. She didn’t look at her father, but gazed at the cows. “I made a deal with Bill.”

“What kind of deal?”

“He’s agreed to let us use his cows for training our cutting horses. In exchange, we’ll board the cows here at our place for free.”

“What?” The word burst from Hank’s mouth like a nuclear explosion.

Lily faced her father, her hands clenched by her sides. Her expression looked tight as a bowstring, her eyes narrowed with ferocity. Nate braced himself for the coming storm. He wanted to intercede, but figured this was between Lily and her father.

“Now, Dad, don’t you say one more word about it. We don’t have any money to buy cows, but we need them. This pasture is sitting idle. That small herd of cattle isn’t going to do any damage to our field. It’s a good deal and we need this. So just leave it alone.”

Hank blustered like a charging bull, but what could he say? Lily was right. She’d done what she had to do. But from the surprised expression on Hank’s face, Nate got the impression that Lily didn’t often stand up to her dad with this much conviction. She’d put her foot down and Nate was curious to see if Hank let her have her way.

“And you might as well know,” she continued in a gentler voice, “I’ve paid off what you owe and bought another load of hay from Bill. He’ll be delivering it tomorrow.” She glanced at Nate. “I’ll pay what we owe you for the oats just as soon as we sell one of the horses.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Nate smiled, enjoying her spunk and integrity. What a woman!

An exasperated breath whooshed from Hank’s lungs. “But how did you pay for it?”

“That’s not your worry. It’s taken care of and we should have enough feed to get by for a few months until we can harvest our own hay.” She glanced at Nate. “Can I depend on you to help?”

“Of course, but I’ll do everything. You’ll stay in the house,” Nate said, realizing she was smart, too. In fact, he liked everything about this woman. She knew what needed to be done and went about tackling it in spite of gargantuan odds against her.

“Thank you.” She nodded, holding her chin slightly higher. In her eyes, he saw a twinge of fear and a whole lot of courage. This little woman was a scrapper. Gentle and practical on the outside, yet made of cold, hard steel on the inside.

Hank’s face reddened, and he opened his mouth and closed it several times, as if he wanted to argue. But he didn’t. How could you argue with intelligent logic?

Finally, Hank turned and leaned against the railing again. Nate had to cock his head to hear his next words. “Well, Bill got the better deal.”

Nate hid a smile, but he didn’t laugh out loud. And that’s when he realized he loved her. It struck him like lightning. He’d been wondering about his feelings since the moment he met her, but refused to believe in love at first sight. But now, he couldn’t fight it. He loved her. More than his own life.

A full, joyful feeling filled his chest to overflowing. He loved this woman for the adversity she continued to face head-on and the levelheaded way she tackled her problems. He loved her for loving her father. For stepping forward and doing what had to be done. Her gentle, yet insistent, way of handling Hank’s blustering temper. The way she served him nutritious meals and quietly went behind his back to take care of the ranch when he was too sick to deal with it on his own. And what’s more, Nate wanted her for his own. The thought of always watching this woman from afar, yet never being able to show her how much he loved her, made his heart sink into despair. Somehow, he had to gentle and win her trust.

She might not ever be able to love any man again, but he had to try. Loving Lily was simple, but convincing her to marry him might not be so easy.

Chapter Thirteen

T
he truck rattled across the Bailey bridge as Dad drove them into town. Dressed in a loose-fitting flower-print dress and toeless high heels, Lily closed her eyes until they passed over the river. She hadn’t yet overcome her fear from the flood and closing her eyes made it easier to bear.

As they transferred from dirt road to pavement, she turned her head and studied the red brick church from afar. She’d been home for weeks now, but finally agreed to attend church with Dad. They’d arrive for Sunday services in a matter of minutes and the tension headache she’d been fighting all morning pounded against her temples.

No doubt she knew most of the people in the congregation. What if they started asking her questions about her past? What if they wouldn’t accept her? The loose dress was meant to hide her pregnancy, but it did little good. People would naturally ask about her absentee husband. The last thing she wanted was for folks to know she’d unknowingly had an affair with a married man. Nate hadn’t revealed her secret, which had earned him a little more of her trust.

In Lily’s book, Tommy had committed adultery. And she had unwittingly participated. She’d repented her transgressions and abandoned her old lifestyle, but she didn’t feel forgiven. Maybe she never would.

“Dad, I’d rather not tell everyone I’m not married,” she said.

He tossed her a frown, his blunt fingers gripping the steering wheel. He looked handsome in a western suit and turquoise bolo tie. “And just how do you propose we keep it a secret? Word has already spread through town. With your small frame, it’s easy to tell you’re very pregnant. If they haven’t already heard, folks are bound to ask where your husband is. And then it’ll come out that you don’t have one.”

“It’s no one’s business.”

“That might be true, but you’re gonna have to live your life. I never taught you to hide, darlin’. If you make a mistake, you make it right and move on.”

His terse voice did nothing to ease her misgivings. In fact, just the opposite. How could she ever make this right? She didn’t want to fling her pregnancy in everyone’s face. If Dad still couldn’t accept and forgive her, how would everyone at church do so?

How could God ever forgive her?

“I’m not hiding, Dad. I’m working on the Rodeo Committee and trying to help you with the ranch. I’m trying to make this right. What more do you want from me?”

His face reddened with anger and his low voice rumbled. “Nothing. I don’t want one thing from you, girl. I never did.”

Tears pricked the backs of her eyes. She turned away so he wouldn’t see. And when he pulled into the church parking lot, he got out and turned to look at her.

“Well, are you coming in or not?” he growled.

She couldn’t answer. Her throat felt like sandpaper and she swallowed back a croak of sorrow.

Dad released a giant huff of irritation, then slammed the truck door and stomped up the sidewalk. Lily sat there in the hot truck, sweat trickling down her back. Dad had taken the keys with him, so she couldn’t leave and come back later to pick him up.

People gathered at the front entrance, waving and chatting. Louise Gillum, a thin woman with dark graying hair and a penchant for gossip, intercepted Dad at the door. Even though Lily couldn’t hear their conversation, she could see their expressions. Dad pointed at the truck and Louise looked that way, her eyes filled with pity.

Dad went inside, and Louise clasped the arm of another woman Lily didn’t recognize. Louise gestured toward Lily and tossed a disgusted glare her way.

Great! Lily couldn’t go inside. She contemplated taking a long walk but feared who she might run into. She was stuck out here. But sitting inside the truck on a hot day wouldn’t do her and the baby any good, either. What should she—

A tap on the window made her snap her head around. Nate stood there wearing a dark suit, white shirt and red tie. Freshly shaved, he’d combed his short hair back. With his high cheekbones and square chin, he looked like a model who had just stepped off the cover of
GQ
magazine.

A handsome heartbreaker.

He gave her an inviting smile and for a fraction of a moment, she thought she’d never been so happy to see someone in all her life.

She opened the door just a crack. “Yes?”

“What’re you doing sitting here all alone in this heat?”

Cynicism threaded through her like a spiderweb and she shivered. “I…I’m not feeling well.”

Okay, that was partly true, but mostly an excuse to hide.

“Where’s your dad?” he asked.

“Inside.”

Nate’s brow furrowed as he thought this over. “I take it he’s still not too accepting of your circumstance.”

How did he always seem to read between the lines and make deductions with such clarity?

“Actually, I think it’s me he doesn’t want to accept.”

“I find that hard to believe. You’re his daughter.”

“I think he resents me because I’m not…”

“Because you’re not married.”

She nodded, feeling miserable.

“One wrong choice doesn’t need to ruin your life.”

“But this was a doozy.”

“Christ took even that burden onto himself. Because of what He did, we can all be forgiven by simply repenting.”

A harsh laugh slipped from her throat. She believed what he said, yet couldn’t accept it for herself. “I wish it were that simple. I haven’t made just one wrong choice but a whole bevy of them.”

He leaned his hip against the side of the truck. “That’s the miracle of forgiveness. In return for repenting and trying to do better each time, the Lord forgets what we’ve done wrong. The Atonement isn’t just for me and other people, Lil. It’s also for you.”

She folded her arms, trembling in spite of the heat. “I still don’t want to get married. Not ever.”

He curled his long fingers around the edge of the door. “That’s reasonable, all things considered. Knowing about Tommy, I can’t say I blame you.”

His understanding manner put her slightly at ease.

“But what about the other side of the coin?” he asked.

She lifted her brows in question. “What other side?”

“All the good men out there who’re looking for a woman to love. Someone to build a life with. Someone who adores them in return.”

She snorted. “I’m not sure such men exist.”

“Oh, believe me, they’re out there. They’re closer than you might think. You just need to know where to look.”

She didn’t pretend not to understand. He’d made it clear that he was interested in her. With Nate, she didn’t have to play any games. Quite refreshing, considering all the lies and drama she’d gotten from Tommy.

He pulled the door wide open and reached to take her hand. “You know, sitting here in this heat won’t help you feel better. Come inside and go to church with me. No one else matters.”

Lily hesitated, staring at the top button of his suit coat. Oh, she was tempted by his offer. She wanted to be closer to God and realized church services could help with that. To work out her own salvation in spite of judgmental creatures who fluttered around the church waiting to focus on other people’s problems. So tempted to trust this man and let him protect and defend her. Yet she didn’t dare. She’d trusted before, and look where that had gotten her. No place she wanted to be.

“Come on. I won’t let anyone hurt you. You’ll be with me,” he urged in a gentle tone.

With him. For one nanosecond, she envisioned what being with Nathan Coates might mean. Having a real, legitimate life with this man, she could almost pretend she didn’t have a little problem growing inside her to deal with. If they didn’t discuss the baby, it would go away. As long as Lily remained strong and calm on the outside, everything would be fine. Maybe Lily could feel normal again.

But she knew better. Fear and disparagement coiled through every fiber of her being. Putting her on constant edge. Stealing any form of happiness she might find. She only knew one thing: She was so, so very sorry for what she’d done. She wanted God’s forgiveness. And she wanted to do what was right for the innocent little girl she would soon give birth to.

“If people see you with me, they’ll start more gossip. They’ll think you’re a bad man for hanging out with a bad woman like me.”

“Nonsense. People might talk, but I just don’t care about those people. There’s nothing to be afraid of. Everything’s gonna be all right,” Nate said.

How she longed to believe him. He seemed to see right through her, into the deepest part of her soul. Right to the heart of all her insecurities.

“I don’t want your pity,” she said.

“And you won’t get any from me. That’s why I think you should get out of this truck and come into church with me.” In spite of his words, his soothing voice was lulling her senses. Encouraging her to toughen up.

She took a deep, cleansing breath before hardening her jaw. “I’m not afraid.”

“Of course you’re not. Neither am I.”

To prove it, she took his hand and slid out of the truck. His strong fingers tightened around hers, steadying her, giving her support.

A fluttering of emotion settled in her stomach. The baby gave a hard kick, as if she approved.

Nate paused, standing near enough that she caught the subtle scent of his spicy cologne. He gave a low whistle. “Wow, you look beautiful today.”

A shiver of happiness swept over her. “Thank you, but I feel big as a Mack truck.”

He chuckled, looking down at her tummy. “No one expects you to be skinny while you’re carrying a baby, Lily. It wouldn’t be healthy. You’re doing just what you need to do right now. And you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met.”

He cupped her cheek with his hand, his rough calluses rubbing lightly against her skin. She counted to two before she turned away. His words lightened her heart and gave her the courage to go inside, but a strange fluttering filled her chest that had nothing to do with her pregnancy.

As they walked up the sidewalk, Lily tried to tell herself she was only drawn to this man’s generosity, nothing more. The same way a stray cat is drawn to a sheltering home. It couldn’t be more than that. Not for a woman like her.

“I’ll be out to the ranch right after church,” he said. “I can take care of the evening feeding of the horses.”

“But it’s the Sabbath.” She didn’t look at him, hyperconscious of his tall body close beside her.

“The animals need to be fed and watered even on the Sabbath.”

They reached the front door. Everyone had gone inside. The meeting would begin soon. The soft chords of organ music reached her ears. A sick feeling of panic caused her stomach to churn. Prickles of alarm dotted her flesh. She pulled back, but Nate kept a gentle hold on her arm.

Reaching past her with one hand, he opened the door and whispered against her ear. “It’s gonna be fine. You’re not alone. You’ve got me and God with you.”

How she hoped and prayed he was right.

He drew her inside, smiling down into her eyes. All she could see was his handsome face. As if they were the only two people in the world. Forgetting her father and the congregation inside who may or may not be happy to see her.

They stepped inside the chapel and slid into a back pew as the music stopped, the meeting just beginning. In spite of their late arrival, several people noticed them sitting close together. Heads turned their way. Only Myra and Bill Stokely smiled at her. That was something. But Lily heard the whispers and saw the nudges. The censure in people’s eyes. No doubt sitting with Nate would set off a bevy of conjecture and gossip. She didn’t want to ruin this good man’s reputation.

She shifted nervously in her seat. “I shouldn’t have come inside. I don’t belong here.”

He patted her hand. “Sure you do. This is the Lord’s house. And He welcomes everyone. Even you and me.”

Lily watched with morbid amusement as news of her presence spread like wildfire through the crowd.

She caught sight of Dad sitting on the front row. All alone. He had his head bowed, looking just as forlorn as she felt. The urge to go and join him almost overwhelmed her. She hated the thought of his sitting alone in church. Yet she was too much of a coward to walk up the middle aisle where everyone would see her. Not today anyway.

Baby steps here. She needed time to adjust. To gain strength and confidence in God’s forgiveness. And to forgive herself, too.

Instead, she closed her eyes for several minutes, forcing herself to concentrate on the sermon rather than the people surrounding her. She’d made it through the front door. Surely it would get easier from here.

“You okay?” Nate asked after a moment.

She nodded her head but didn’t open her eyes.

He tightened his fingers around hers and she realized he still held her hand. She almost pulled away, but couldn’t bring herself to do so right now. Besides the Lord, Nate seemed her only lifeline at this point. And if she let go, she might drown in a sea of self-pity and doubt.