The Fragile Fall (27 page)

I opened my eyes and saw Will above me. I was cradled in his arms as he carried me up the stairs. He glanced down and smiled. “Hey, sleepyhead.”

“Hey. I missed the movie.”

“Yeah, you didn’t even make it twenty minutes.” He carried me into my room and laid me down on my bed and pulled the covers up to my chin.

“You should have woken me up. I wanted to see that one.”

“We can watch it another day. You looked way too cute to wake up.”

“You’re sweet.”

“You’re gorgeous. It seems we’re even.” He grinned. “You should go back to sleep.”

“I don’t want you to leave.” I grabbed his hand and pulled him closer to me.

“Scoot over. I’ll lie down with you a few moments, but then I really do have to go.” I moved closer to the wall and Will climbed in bed next to me, making sure he stayed above the covers. Pulling his arm under my head, I rested my head on it and snuggled closer to his chest. “If Aunt Liv finds out about this, she’ll kill me.”

Will’s arm was around my waist and his leg was thrown over mine. “Then we’ll make sure she never finds out.” Lying in his arms was so comforting. He kissed my forehead and I tipped my face up to catch his lips, kissing him slowly for a few minutes before sighing and tucking my head under his chin.

“This is nice.”

“This is heaven,” he said. “Go to sleep, sweet girl.” I smiled and pressed myself closer to him, falling asleep with a smile.

Falling asleep with Will.

Will

I
WOKE
UP
SLOWLY
,
BLINKING
. I didn’t recognize the purple walls and I had no idea where I was. Looking down, I saw Ryanne still asleep curled around me. Her head rested on my chest and half of her body was draped over mine. I ran my fingers through her hair, content, and it took a few moments to realize I needed to leave before Aunt Liv found out I hadn’t come home last night. I wasn’t sure what her reaction would be if she found out and I didn’t really want to find out.

I slowly pulled my arm out from underneath Ryanne so I didn’t wake her up. She made a noise and rolled over. I climbed from the bed, then kissed her forehead and crept from the room. As I pulled her door shut slowly, Jax slapped me on the back.

“Late night?” he said, smirking.

“After I carried her to bed, she begged me to stay. I didn’t mean to fall asleep.” I hated that I sounded defensive, but I was afraid of his reaction.

“I’m jealous, man. She would kill me if I ever stayed over a girls’ house. I guess now I can give her a hard time about this.”

“Nothing happened, Jax.”

“Oh, I know. Doesn’t mean I can’t give her a hard time.” He walked down the hall to the bathroom. “You better get home. I’m sure Liv is wondering where you are.” Jax laughed as he walked by me and my heart sank, worried about Aunt Liv’s reaction.

“I’m going.” I ran down the stairs and went home. I tried to sneak into the house, but Aunt Liv was waiting at the kitchen table. As soon as she saw me, she ran up to me and hugged me.

“Oh, my God. I’m so glad you’re okay. I’ve been going out of my mind all night!” She grabbed my face and studied it, looking for something, though I wasn’t sure what. “Are you okay? Did you have a bad night? Did something trigger you?”

“No, I’m fine. I was over Jax and Ryanne’s and the movie ran a little late. I ended up falling asleep.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m perfectly fine, Aunt Liv. I promise. I’m sorry I worried you.”

She collapsed into my arms and clung to me. “I had horrible visions of you bleeding out in a ditch somewhere. I was so afraid that something happened to you.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know, honey, but please text me next time. Even if it’s just that you are going to be out a little later, let me know.”

“I promise.”

She let me go. “Okay. Now that you’re home, I guess I can get ready for work. I’ve been calling and texting you all night. I was ready to form a search party.”

Wondering why my phone didn’t wake me up, I pulled it from my pocket and saw that the battery had died. “I’m sorry, Aunt Liv. My phone died.”

“It’s okay. Enough with the apologies, just don’t let it happen again, okay?”

“I won’t.”

I went upstairs and flopped down in my beanbag chair, not sure what to do now. The bed had been cramped last night, but it had been the best sleep I’d ever had, so now I was completely awake. I was still amazed at the way everything had worked out. When I told Ry about what happened the night my parents died, I’d expected her to blame me for them being gone. I thought she would call me a murderer and want nothing else to do with me, but she surprised me by being amazing and understanding.

Having Ryanne react the way she did had helped me so much. It was going to be a struggle to fully forgive myself, especially since my parents were never coming back, but I felt like I was taking several steps forward. While I still felt guilt, I was slowly letting it go. Ryanne had given me the gift of acceptance and I was so thankful. She now knew everything about me and was fine with who I was and the mistakes I’d made.

I couldn’t ask for anything more.

When I went back to therapy, we talked about Ryanne’s reaction and Dr. Thomas was happy I finally told someone. She said I was holding onto the secret and it brought about a sense of shame. Without the shame, I would be able to heal and grow even more than I already had. I felt like I had finally been able to break the surface and inhale fresh air for the first time since the night of the accident and I felt like I owed it to Ryanne.

Everything I felt for her had intensified. I wanted her before, but I needed her now.

I would do anything to keep her.

Ryanne: I missed you when I woke up, but I slept really well last night.

Will: I slept really well, too. Especially since I only left a little while ago.

Ryanne: You stayed all night???

Will: Yeah, I fell asleep.

Ryanne: Now I’m sad that I missed you when I woke up :(

Will: Do you work today? We could hang out if you don’t.

Ryanne: I work today. Actually, I work all next week.

Will: What about Valentine’s Day?

Ryanne: I work, but I could see if I can switch shifts if you want.

Will: Try to. We’ll hang out.

Ryanne: Okay. I can’t wait to see you again.

Will: See you later, sweet girl.

Ryanne: :)

I finished getting ready so I could go pick up Ryanne for our Valentine’s Day date. She couldn’t get actual Valentine’s Day off, so we were hanging out the next day instead.

Grabbing my keys, I went to Aunt Liv’s car and drove it over to their driveway next door. Butterflies had taken up residence in my stomach and my heart pounded, not sure how she’d feel about what I had planned. Before I rang the doorbell, I took a deep breath, trying to collect myself. I cleared my throat and rang the doorbell. After a few seconds, Jax opened the door with a smirk on his face and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Hello there, Will,” he said. “What can I help you with?”

“I’m here for Ry. You should know this since we talked about it yesterday. You don’t need to act like this.”

“I’m not acting any way. If you’re here to pick up my sister, you will be treated just like any other guy. You aren’t my best friend tonight, you are a dick who’s trying to stick it in my sister.”

Right then, I kind of wanted to punch him. I knew he was playing the protective brother role, but I didn’t think he’d have to play it for me since he was my friend. “I don’t want to stick it in your sister.”

He rolled his eyes like he didn’t believe me. “What time will you have her back?”

“What time does she need to be back?”

“How the fuck should I know? She’s an adult. Have her back when she wants to be.” He grinned, knowing he was making this uncomfortable for me and enjoying every second.

Ryanne came up behind Jax and shoved passed him. “Stop giving him a hard time, Jax.” She kissed me on the cheek. “See you later,” she called over her shoulder.

“Sorry about that. He thinks since we’re dating now that he can be a jerk to you,” she said as she climbed into the car.

“It’s not a big deal. I understand. He doesn’t want me to be a jerk to you.”

She laughed. “Yeah, you could say that.”

I leaned over the console and kissed her. It had been a few days since we had seen each other because of our crazy schedules, and I got carried away in the feel of her lips on mine and the way her hair felt wrapped around my fingers. Pounding on the hood of the car caused us to jerk away from each other. Jax stood in front of the car with his arms across his chest and a giant smirk on his face. I put the car in reverse and backed out. Before we drove away, Jax waved.

“He can be such an ass,” Ry said.

“He cares about you and he likes to be a jerk, so the two combined make him like a mega jerk.”

She laughed uncontrollably for a few minutes. “Mega jerk, I like it.”

I grabbed her hand and held it as we drove, listening to her tell me about her week. We had texted a lot throughout the week, but it was different being able to hear her voice and touch her. I pulled into the parking lot of our first stop. An ice skating rink.

“Have you ever been ice skating before?” I asked her.

“Once or twice, but I suck.” She chewed her lip, and I could tell she was nervous, so I pulled her over to me and captured her lips with mine. After I thought she was sufficiently distracted, I pulled away.

“It’s a good thing you are here with an excellent ice skater then.”

“You ice skate?” She lifted an eyebrow, smiling in disbelief.

“My mom loved ice skating when she was young, so we went every chance we got during the winter. I haven’t been skating since…” my voice trailed off and I looked out the windshield. I hadn’t been ice skating since two days before she died. She had pushed my school schedule around and we went skating in the morning as soon as my dad left for work. We had been so busy that winter that we hadn’t been able to go out much and she said she missed it. She said the beauty of homeschooling was we could decide when I did my work and since I was already ahead of schedule, she didn’t see a problem with taking a few hours and getting out of the house. It was the last good memory I had with her. She had skated around the rink, laughing and smiling—a different person as soon as she was on the ice, so relaxed and fun loving. I missed her.

Ryanne squeezed my hand and drew my attention back to her. “Are you sure you’re up for this?”

I held the side of her face. “If I want to move forward with my life, I have to stop avoiding things that’ll hurt.” I brought her hand up to my lips and kissed her knuckles. “And if I’m facing this, I want it to be with you. Ice skating has always been something special to me and I wanted to share it with you.” Her eyes softened and she smiled at me.

“Then this is perfect. Let’s go.”

We climbed out of the car and made out way over to the skate rental, then Ry almost fell over as soon as we touched the ice. I moved so I was beside her and held her hips to help her move. Laughing, she put her hands out to the side and I skated both of us around the rink.