The Fragile Fall (31 page)

For what I had planned, I felt like it was only right to talk to Liv. I knew she still worried a great deal about Will, especially since he got out of the hospital. She texted him frequently when he was out and was stricter with his curfew. I decided to be upfront with her. I didn’t want to cause any trouble.

“I’m not so sure about this, Ryanne. I’m not very comfortable with it,” Liv said, looking into her coffee cup like it held the answers.

“I know it’s not typical, but it’ll be fine.” I had found a really nice cabin that I could afford with the tips I had saved up and I wanted to go with Will. Alone. Though Will would be eighteen and we didn’t need Liv’s permission, I wanted it.

“He’s been through a lot and I’m not sure if this is a good idea. I’m worried it’ll put too much pressure on both of you and I don’t want his anxiety to cause him to do anything drastic.”

“He’ll be fine, Liv. I’ll be there with him and he’s a lot better. He hasn’t cut since that night. He knows he can talk to me or Jax or even you. Plus, he can call his therapist if it gets too much to handle.” As much as I loved Liv and knew her heart was in the right place, I was sick of her treating Will like he would break at the first sign of stress. He was a lot stronger than she gave him credit for. “And I’m not expecting anything to happen between us.”

“I wasn’t born yesterday. I know what happens when a couple is alone, especially like that. I’m not stupid.” She looked at me sternly.

“I’m simply stating it doesn’t have to happen.”

“I’m simply stating that you are an idiot if you think it won’t.”

I sighed, unsure of what to say. I couldn’t promise her that Will and I wouldn’t take things further, but I wasn’t expecting anything to happen. “I’m not sure what to say, Liv.”

“I’m not sure what to say either. I know his parents would never let something like this happen. Hell, they wouldn’t have let him be friends with you and Jax, let alone go away for a whole weekend to a cabin with a girl. I’m not in love with the idea, but I trust you and Will.”

“No matter what happens, we’ll be safe. I promise.”

She leveled me with her eyes. “Please just keep an eye on him. If it looks like he’s getting overwhelmed, please don’t let him suffer.”

“I would never let him suffer, Liv. I promise I’ll keep an eye on him and make sure he’s okay.”

“As long as we’re on the same page, I’m fine with the cabin. I just want you to be careful, period. Take condoms up with you, even if you aren’t going to. I want you to be prepared.” I nodded. “I’m not crazy about the idea, but you’ll both be adults and there’s nothing I can do to stop you. I’ll just have to trust you.”

“Thank you, Liv. We won’t let you down.”

“Good.”

Now that I had Liv’s approval, I could make the rest of the plans.

I had a small break between classes, so I met Court for coffee.

“Look at you,” she said. “I haven’t seen you in forever.”

“Court, it’s only been a few days.”

“Yeah, but you’re never around anymore.” She sipped her coffee. “How’s the jail bait?”

“He’s not jail bait. He’ll be eighteen tomorrow.”

“Have any plans for it?”

I toyed with the coffee stick, afraid of what she’d say. She liked Will and was supportive of our relationship, but she liked to tease me about the fact that Will was under eighteen. I knew what going away with him looked like, but I didn’t care. I wanted to have time with Will without worrying about my dad, Jax, or Aunt Liv. I also wanted to take a weekend that would be sad and full of reminders of a terrible tragedy and turn it into something positive. At least that was my hope.

“Yesterday we had a little surprise party for him at his aunt’s house,” I said, hesitantly. “And I rented a cabin for us this weekend.”

“Sounds like a grand weekend you have planned.” She grinned. “Planning on deflowering the jail bait?”

“For fuck’s sake, Courtney. Would you drop it?”

“God, I’m just joking around.” She smiled. “What plans do you have for the weekend?”

“Other than being able to hang out with him without my dad or Jax or his aunt hanging over our shoulders? Not much. I don’t really care if we watch movies or go out and freeze our asses off in the snow. It doesn’t matter to me.”

“You have it bad, girlfriend.”

I smiled and looked down at my coffee. I did have it bad.
Really bad.
“I do. I really, really do.”

“You think Will’s the real deal.”

My smile widened. “Yeah, I think he is.”

“That’s really good, Ryanne. He’s good for you.”

“I think so too.”

“You seem grounded, happy.” She leaned forward and put her hand on mine. “I’m happy for you, Ry. I really, really am. He’s a good one. I love you.”

My cheeks hurt from how hard I was smiling. “I love you too.”

We spent the rest of lunch chatting about our lives and how she was doing in classes and the new guy she had been dating. It felt good to hang out with Courtney, but all too soon my break was over and I had to go to my next class.

I was running late so I texted Will and told him to pack a bag and be ready to go. I had to pick up the keys to the cabin, and the guy at the rental center had talked forever about leaving it in the condition it was in when we arrived. After reassuring him at least a hundred times, he let me leave and I rushed to Will’s. When I pulled up, I went inside and saw Liv. She gave me a weird look before disappearing upstairs. I heard her talking to Will. A few minutes later, he came downstairs with a duffel bag thrown over his shoulder.

“Ready to go?” I asked, pushing away from the counter.

“Sure.” He followed me outside and threw his bag into the trunk next to mine. When we were seated in the car, he was nervous. “Are you going to tell me what’s going on? Or why Aunt Liv cried when she said goodbye to me? And why I needed to pack a bag?”

“You’ll see.” I grinned, then frowned. He looked really upset. “What’s wrong?”

“Today is just a tough day for me.” He looked out the window. “Lots of memories. Bad ones.”

“I’m sorry.” I reached over and grabbed his hand, squeezing it. “I have a special weekend planned for us.” I hoped I could distract him and make the bad ones easier to deal with by adding good ones.

He continued staring out his window so I couldn’t see his face. “I’m not sure how much fun I’ll be, Ry.”

“You don’t need to be anything other than you. I only wanted to plan something special for you.”

He finally turned and looked at me with a smile, though it didn’t reach his eyes. “Thanks.” He turned back to the window.

“Do you still want to know where we’re going?”

“If you feel like telling me.”

My heart broke and my hopes floundered. I had known this would be a hard for him, but I probably hadn’t thought it through enough. This wasn’t the anniversary of something insignificant, it was the anniversary of his parents dying. I feared Liv was right and that this was going to put too much pressure on him when he was already upset.

“I rented us a cabin for the weekend so we could spend time together. Just the two of us.”

He looked over at me, eyes wide. “Really? How’d you pull that off?”

“Well, I rented a cabin and made all the necessary arrangements. I wanted to spend some time with you alone. I knew this would be a hard weekend for you, and I wanted to do something that would maybe make it a little easier.”

Pulling my hand over to him, he kissed it. “Thanks, Ry. That’s really sweet of you.”

“And just so you know, I’m not expecting anything to happen this weekend.”

He turned and smirked at me. “So you just want to sit around in a cabin all weekend? Staring at the walls?”

“No.” I sighed, hating how awkward this was. “I meant sexually. I don’t want you to add that pressure to yourself.”

The smirk fell off his face and he turned back to the window. I fought the urge to cry. No matter what I said or did, it seemed to be the wrong thing. The last thing I wanted to do was upset him, but I kept messing up. I drove for a while, wanting to turn around and go back home. Anything had to be better than this. I was taking a bad day and turning it awkward.

“I’m sorry.” I pulled my hand away from him.

“About what?” Turning toward me again, he grabbed my hand and rested them on his leg.

“I don’t know. I just keep making you upset and I don’t mean to. I didn’t want to upset you, I just wanted to make this weekend a little easier for you. If you don’t want to go, I can turn around and we can forget the whole thing.”

“No, I don’t want to do that. I hadn’t even thought about, you know, sex when you mentioned the cabin. I want to spend the weekend with you.”

“Okay.”

We rode in silence until we pulled up to the small log cabin. A small porch with a swing made of logs was outside, making it feel welcoming. We climbed out of the car and Will grabbed the bags from the trunk. I got the keys out of my pocket and went to unlock the door.

The inside of the cabin was beautiful and much bigger than I’d expected. There was a fireplace with stone going the whole way to the ceiling, and a wooden stairway that led to a loft, which was the bedroom. The kitchen had stainless steel appliances, though it still felt rustic. The main floor was open, the only door leading to a bathroom. The rest was open and added to the spacious feeling.

“Is this okay?” I asked, softly, afraid that I had misjudged the whole thing and made a huge mistake by planning this weekend.

He dropped the bags on the ground and pulled me to him, kissing me softly. “It’s perfect. I’m happy I get to spend a whole weekend with you.”

I melted into him, relieved that he wasn’t upset with me. “I’m glad.” I relaxed in his embrace for a few minutes, loving the feeling of him wrapped around me, not having to worry that Jax would walk in and feel awkward or that Dad would come in and glare at Will. “I have some groceries in the car, I should go get them.”

“No, you stay here. I’ll bring them in.” He kissed my forehead and went to grab the few bags I had outside. I took our duffle bags up to the bedroom, then went back downstairs and sat on the couch.

I sat there feeling awkward, and doubting my plans for the weekend, when Will came back in. I helped him unload and put away the groceries, then we sat on the couch and looked at the beautiful fireplace. I rubbed my hands up and down my arms, wishing I could warm myself and take away this ridiculously awkward feeling.

“Are you cold?” Will asked.

“A little.”

“I’ll go grab some wood and make a fire.”

“That sounds perfect.” I smiled at him. He leaned over and kissed me before going back outside.

Once the fire was built and roaring in the fireplace, we curled up on the couch together, watching the flames dance. The longer we sat, the more I felt him relax and I was relieved. I wanted this to be a good weekend for him. His stomach growled, causing me to laugh.

“Hungry?” I asked.

“I guess so.” He looked at his watch. “It
is
after eight.”

“I’ll go fix us something.” I stood and Will followed me. When we got in the kitchen, he grabbed me around the waist and pulled me back against him, kissing my neck and making me shudder.

“I’ll help you.”

As we made dinner, the remaining tension and sadness seemed to leave Will. He laughed and talked while helping me make a small dinner. We ate in front of the fire, then stretched out on the couch after we finished. Will was on his back and I laid on top of him, his arms wrapped around me. It was the most content I had ever felt. I closed my eyes and snuggled closer to him.

“This is really nice,” he said, then kissed the top of my head. “Thanks for this. I think it’s perfect.”

“I’m glad you think so.” I rested my chin on his chest, looking up at him. The light from the fire created shadows that danced across his face as he smiled down at me and ran his fingers through my hair. My heart filled with so much love for him that it felt like it was going to burst.

“I love you.”

The words came out before I could think through them, but as soon as they were out, it felt right. His eyes warmed and a smile lit up his face.

“I love you, too.”

He pulled me up his chest and brought our lips together. The kiss was slow and lazy as we thoroughly enjoyed each other. His hands traveled down my sides and he sat up, wrapping my legs around his waist. He moved us down to the rug in front of the fire, then slowly undressed me, feathering kisses over every new inch of skin that he exposed until the only thing left on was my pink lace panties. The heat from the fire warmed me, though the way Will’s eyes devoured me sent a chill through me. He brushed his fingers over my face.