The Friends We Keep (Mischief Bay) (17 page)

“Thanks, Hayley.” Steven leaned against the door frame of her office.

He was tall and nice-looking, a lot like his dad. Last year, when Steven had stepped in to take over the company, they’d all wondered how it was going to go. But John had trained his son well, as had Pam. Steven was a fair boss, honest and understanding without being a pushover. From her point of view, the pay was good, the hours completely reasonable and whenever she’d needed time off, he’d worked with her.

She thought about mentioning the trip to Switzerland, but honestly didn’t have the energy. With Rob still gone, there wasn’t much reason to think about getting pregnant. She didn’t want a child on her own—she wanted them to be a family.

But they hadn’t spoken since their meeting at the coffee shop. She’d wanted to call, but didn’t know what to say. She knew that until she was willing to tell him she’d let go of her dream, he wasn’t coming back.

She returned her attention to her boss. “You’ll need the notes on the contract,” she told him. “Let me grab them.”

She rose so she could cross to the file room just off her office. She knew she made it to upright, but wasn’t completely sure she got past that before the room started spinning.

How strange, she thought, more confused and intrigued than scared. This wasn’t like when she stood up too fast and got light-headed. It was completely different. Almost a kind of slow motion. As if everything were turning and turning, like the carousel at the park. She’d always liked the carousel. The white horses, especially, with pink ribbons and—

Something hot and wet dripped down her legs. The sensation surprised her. She glanced down and saw her jeans were stained. She touched her hand to her thigh and then looked at her fingers. Blood, she thought with surprise. That was strange. So very strange.

“Hayley!”

The frantic voice came from far away. Steven, she thought as she crumpled to the ground. He sounded worried. She needed to tell him she was going to be all—

Chapter Sixteen

Gabby carefully pulled up the zipper of the black Akris pants she’d bought. They were ridiculously expensive—even on sale—but so gorgeous, she’d been unable to resist. They were also a size smaller than she’d been this time last month which made buying them with her shiny gift card even more exciting.

“Yay, me,” she whispered as she looked at her reflection in the mirror. She still had a ways to go, but considering everything going on in her life, she was doing great.

Andrew strolled into the walk-in closet. Normally he would have been long at work, but he had a flight out later that morning and had decided to not go into the office first.

With the kids off at camp already, they’d had a rare couple of hours to sip coffee and talk about their upcoming week. Now he looked at her as she turned in front of the mirror.

“Very sexy,” he said.

She grinned. “They’re black pants, honey. That means they can’t be sexy.”

“They are, on you.”

“Sweet man.” She studied her reflection again. “Only four more weeks. I can’t believe it. Four weeks from tomorrow I’ll be walking into my new office. It’s going to be exciting.”

She shimmied out of the pants and carefully hung them back on the hanger, then pulled on her jeans. Andrew watched her. His dark eyes filled with something awfully close to sympathy. Or was it regret?

“What?” she asked.

“I’m sorry.”

“About?”

He put his arms around her. “All you’re giving up. I’m glad you’re excited about work. You need to enjoy it as long as you can. You know if there was another way, we’d find it. Gabby, you can’t know how much I appreciate this and how bad I feel.”

She pulled out of his embrace. Their closet was spacious, with plenty of light and lots of storage space, but right this second, it felt small and stifling. Maybe it was the apprehension tightening her chest.

She moved into the bathroom and faced him. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

He tilted his head. “Your job.”

“Yes. I start in four weeks.”

“I’m saying I feel badly that you’re so excited about going back to work when you’ll only be there a few months. I appreciate everything you’re giving up for the family and I’ll do my best to make it up to you in any way I can.”

Heat burned through her. She knew she was way too young for her first hot flash, but even as the thought formed, she was suddenly cold. Nothing made sense—certainly not Andrew.

“Why will I only be working a few months?”

His look of genuine confusion matched her own. “Because you’ll be staying home with Makayla’s baby, after it’s born.”

Gabby reached blindly for the counter behind her. Stay home? Stay
home
? “No, I won’t. Why would you think that? I’m not staying home. Even if I didn’t want to go back to work, which I do, by the way, Makayla is going to give up her baby for adoption.”

Andrew shook his head. “She’s not. She’s keeping the baby. I don’t understand. We’ve talked about this more than once. Even if she and Boyd don’t stay together, she’s going to keep the baby. She’ll need our help.”

“No.” She couldn’t breathe. Panic threatened. A to-the-bone fear that made her tremble. “No, that’s not what we discussed. We talked about her and Boyd being too young. That they were both too young to deal with a baby. You said it and I said it.”

“They
are
too young. That’s why she needs our help. Gabby, this isn’t hard to grasp. Why are you acting like this?”

“Me? This isn’t about me. I never said I would stay home with her child.”

“You have to. Honey, I don’t get it. We talked about this. We both agreed that we wanted life to get back to normal.”

“Right—
after
the adoption.”

“No, with the baby. Makayla can’t do it herself. I love my daughter, but we both knew she’s nowhere near prepared to be a mother. She’s only fifteen. She has to have the chance to be a kid. She needs to be going to school, preparing for college and her future.”

“So she gets to have a life, but I’m supposed to give up mine? She gets to have the baby and walk away without any consequences, but I’m supposed to give up everything to take care of it?” Her voice tightened.

“I don’t understand your reaction. We talked about this so many times before we had the twins. That a child needs a parent at home during the first five years of life.”

“A parent. That would be Makayla or Boyd. Not me. I’m not the parent.”

“But she can’t do it. You have to see that.”

No, she didn’t, she thought, wondering how he could sound so calm. As if she were the irrational one. Nothing about this was right. Or fair. Or reasonable.

“So I’m the point of sacrifice,” she said, trying to keep from sounding shrill. “I give up everything while she goes on as if none of this ever happened? How is that right?”

“Of course she’ll have responsibilities,” he said, his voice annoyingly soothing.

“Will she? Really? Because you don’t even make her do her own laundry. She has virtually no chores in this house. None. She lives here full-time and we treat her like an honored guest. Now you’re telling me that I’m expected to raise her baby? To give up my career, everything I’ve been waiting to get back to, so she can go off and have a good rest of her childhood?”

Her voice rose with each word until she was shrieking. Andrew’s phone chirped.

They stared at each other. She was breathing as if she’d just run a mile and he still looked more confused than upset.

“Obviously we have to talk about this more,” he said as he pulled his phone out of his shirt pocket. “My car is here. I have to go.”

She nodded. Right. Because he had a business trip and life went on.

She wanted to throw something at him. Like a shoe. Or a building. What on earth had he been thinking? No way she was giving up her life for Makayla’s baby. A baby that would be adopted soon enough.

He crossed to her. “I’ll call you tonight,” he said and kissed her cheek.

She nodded without speaking.

He walked toward the bedroom, then paused and turned back to her. “Are we all right?”

She nodded. They weren’t, but what was the point in saying that now? He had to leave. Better that things be reasonably pleasant. They would talk again when he got home. There was time for her to get him to understand that there was absolutely no way on this planet she was giving up her career to take care of Makayla’s baby. Not now, not ever.

* * *

Hayley was aware of movement around her long before she opened her eyes. There was an annoying steady beeping, along with low conversation and the occasional sensation of warmth. Drugs, she thought hazily. Someone was giving her drugs.

She surrendered to them as much as she could. A voice—no, that was too strong—a feeling told her not to wake up until she had to. That surfacing, having to face whatever had happened, would be bad. So she didn’t stir, didn’t open her eyes until finally she couldn’t keep them closed anymore.

The room was unfamiliar, as was the bed. She closed her eyes, then opened them again as pain settled on her. The kind of pain that could only be dulled, not deadened.

She inhaled slowly. She was breathing on her own. That was good. She moved her arm, then winced as she realized there was an IV attached. The beeping was her heartbeat.

“How are you feeling?”

The voice was familiar, but not the one she wanted to hear. She turned and saw Dr. Pearce standing beside her bed, watching her with an awkward combination of relief and concern.

“Sore.”

“You’re on an IV for the pain. Can you push the button yourself or do you want me to?”

“I can do it.”

Hayley found the button and pressed it. Relief was almost instant. Drugs, she thought hazily. She’d never done them as a kid, but they were magical.

“Do you know where you are?”

“The hospital.”

“Do you remember what happened?”

Hayley fought against the swirling sensation she recalled. The blood. There’d been so much blood.

“I made a mess at work on the floor.”

Dr. Pearce smiled. “I think they’ll be okay with that.”

Hayley nodded slightly. “You’re right. Steven’s good that way.”

The doctor’s smile faded. “Hayley, you were hemorrhaging. I’m sorry. I wish there had been something else I could do to save you from—”

“Stop,” Hayley whispered. “Don’t say it.”

Not that the words would make it any more or less real. She already knew the truth. Could feel it in the tightness in her insides, the pain from the incisions. She simply didn’t want it spoken out loud.

“If there’d been another way...”

“I know.” Hayley felt tears on her cheeks, although she wasn’t aware of crying. It was done. There was no going back now. She was done. Totally and completely done. She closed her eyes.

“How close did I come to dying?”

“Close enough. You lost a lot of blood.”

There hadn’t been a decision to make. She understood that. At least in her head. Her heart was different. Her heart screamed out at the unfairness of it all. Her heart sobbed and cried and began building walls that would never be scaled.

“I’m going to let Rob know you’re awake.”

Hayley opened her eyes. “He’s here?”

“Of course. He just went to get more coffee. Steven called him after he called 911. Rob got here within a few minutes of the ambulance.” Dr. Pearce squeezed her hand. “It’s been nearly forty-eight hours. We were all starting to wonder when you’d wake up. Let me go get him.” Dr. Pearce left the room.

Rob was here. Hayley hung on to the thought, then forced herself to fight the drugs and stay awake until she saw him walk into her room.

“You look awful,” she told him, her voice scratchy.

There were dark circles under his eyes and two days’ growth on his jaw. His clothes were wrinkled and his glasses dirty.

“Hayley.”

He breathed her name, then lowered the railing on the side without the IV and slid onto the narrow bed until he was stretched out next to her. He touched her hair, her cheeks, then wiped away her tears.

“You nearly died,” he told her. “You nearly bled out. They wouldn’t let me see you. You nearly died.”

She heard the fear in his voice. The accusation. Because she’d done this to herself. To them. From his point of view, she should have given up. Should have stopped fighting.

She was so happy to see him and at the same time, she knew it didn’t matter. Irony. Now that she’d had the hysterectomy, he would come back. They would be together. But without a baby, she wasn’t going to be whole ever again. She wasn’t going to be who she was. He would love her and she would be gone.

She knew she wasn’t making sense. It was the drugs and maybe what she’d been through. Regardless, she knew the truth. There was a hole inside her. An emptiness that would never be filled.

She pushed those thoughts away and focused on the man next to her.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I shouldn’t have left. I didn’t know what else to do. How else to get your attention.”

“It’s okay.” There was no point in him suffering, too.

“Everyone’s been by,” he told her. “All your friends. Steven and Pam and half the people from work. They all gave blood.” He raised his head. “You had a transfusion. Did Dr. Pearce tell you?”

She shook her head. “Is Steven mad about the carpet?”

“No. He’s happy you’re okay.”

It hurt to talk. She was tired. So very tired. She felt her eyes closing.

Rob got off the bed and replaced the railing, then pulled up a chair. “Go to sleep, Hayley. I’ll be right here. They want you to stay another night. I’ve already moved back home. I’ll be there to take care of you.”

She nodded because there was nothing left to say. He was back in her life. He loved her and he was back. Too bad it was all for nothing. It was too late. For both of them.

* * *

Let’s Do Tea was quintessentially cute. The building had once been a private home, built in the 1920s. The architecture lent itself to charming retail and Let’s Do Tea took advantage of that. The main floor held the grocery store side of the business, offering everything edible and British from ginger beer to scones. There was also a take-out counter. A restaurant filled the upstairs. The menu was on a spectrum from ploughman’s lunches to high tea.

Nicole saw Gabby had already been seated and waved as she made her way to the table. Gabby rose and they briefly hugged.

“I’m a mess,” Nicole admitted as she took a seat. “Which is really sad because none of this is happening to me.”

“It was scary,” Gabby told her. “Rob was terrified when he called. I haven’t heard all the details, but it sounds like they weren’t sure Hayley was going to pull through.”

“I know.” Nicole shuddered. “Pam said that Steven couldn’t believe how much blood there was. He thought she was going to die right there on the floor of the office. Poor guy. Apparently he’s still in shock. But she pulled through. Did you give blood?”

Gabby nodded. “I’m O negative, so they love me. The universal donor. Rob said she’ll be coming home today. I’m going to wait a bit before visiting.”

“Me, too. I don’t want to tire her. I just wish there was something concrete I could do. You know—babysit, pet sit, regrout her bathroom.”

Gabby smiled. “Regrouting isn’t a traditional get-well gift, but it should be.”

Nicole picked up her menu, then put it down. While Gabby was saying all the right things, something was off. There was a tension in her voice, a strained set to her shoulders.

“Are you okay?”

Their server chose that moment to walk over to their table. “Good afternoon, ladies,” the plump British woman said with a welcoming smile. “Do you know what you’ll be having?”

“Every carb you offer,” Gabby said, then sighed. “Or the high tea lunch. Coronation chicken sandwiches, please.”

Nicole hesitated a second. She generally ordered the salad, but something told her that sugar and gluten were going to be required today. “The same for me.”

They passed over their menus. Their server promised to bring the tea right away, then left. Nicole leaned toward Gabby.

“Tell me.”