The Friends We Keep (Mischief Bay) (19 page)

“Will she be expected to come home directly after school to care for the baby? Will she have to give up after-school activities or time with her friends?”

The frown deepened. “You’re angry.”

“You’re just now getting that?” She sucked in a breath. “Please answer the question.”

“I don’t know why you’re insisting on making this baby a punishment for her.”

Gabby stood and crossed to the bookshelves, then turned back to face him. Tears burned but she refused to let them fall.

“I’m not,” she said quietly. “I’m really not trying to punish her, Andrew. But I’m also trying not to punish myself. Makayla made choices. There need to be consequences for her. From what you’re suggesting, the only consequences are mine. That hardly seems fair.”

“The baby will be a part of our family. We’ll all pitch in. I’ll help when I’m home. Makayla will help when she—”

There it was. The truth unfettered by anything pretty. Bold and ugly and real.

Gabby turned on her heel and walked out of the room. She couldn’t do it. Couldn’t have the rational fight. Not right now. Not about this.

Andrew stepped into the hallway. “Gabby? What’s wrong?”

“You said it. You finally said it. I knew, of course. How could I not?”

“I honest to God have no idea what you’re talking about.”

She stopped and turned back toward him. As she gazed into the eyes of the man she would have sworn she loved more than anyone in the world, she wondered if their marriage would survive this.

While the chasm wasn’t as obvious as an affair or a gambling problem, it was still building a wall between them. Not what he wanted her to do as much as his inability to truly grasp his part in the problem.

“You said Makayla would help,” she said softly. “It’s not Makayla’s baby and I’m helping her. It’s the other way around. As far as you’re concerned, she’ll give birth, then go back to living her life. Nothing will change for her but everything will change for me. That’s wrong, Andrew. Worse, you can’t see it. That’s what I can’t get over. You not being able to see it at all.”

Chapter Eighteen

Nicole was as ready as she could be. The house was clean, the grill prepped, the food in the refrigerator. She’d gone with steaks because they were easy, along with her tarragon green bean salad that everyone seemed to like. She’d asked her friend Shannon to recommend a nice but not too insanely priced red wine and in case Jairus preferred beer, she had a six-pack of that. She’d stayed up late making brownies the night before.

Maybe she had been punishing herself for the failure of her marriage or maybe she was just emotionally stunted for not having dated before this, but she had to say living with those flaws was a whole lot easier than dealing with the painful writhing of her stomach and the steady hum of nerves through the rest of her body.

How did people do this? Date? Not worry and appear calm? Were they all faking it or was she a freak?

Questions that weren’t going to get an answer, she reminded herself, before heading back to Tyler’s room. Her own issues were one thing, but she also needed to make sure he was okay.

She found him sitting cross-legged on his bed, his Brad the Dragon books spread out around him. He looked up at her and smiled.

“I’m so excited!”

“Me, too,” she admitted as she settled next to him. “Jairus is really nice.”

“Uh-huh.”

“You know he’s busy with his book tour.”

In fact he’d been gone for a couple of weeks and was just now back in LA. She knew because he’d phoned her a couple of times from different cities. The conversations had been relatively short and casual, but still. He’d called her. That had to mean something.

The problem was she didn’t know what that could be, nor did she know what she wanted it to mean. None of which was what she wanted to talk to her son about.

“Jairus is a friend,” she said carefully. “A guy friend, like Adam or Rob.”

“I know.” Tyler’s brown gaze never left her face.

She wanted to say more, like
we’re not dating
, only didn’t saying that sort of hint at the possibility? Sometimes parenting was hard.

“I’m glad he’s coming over,” Tyler added. “Maybe he’ll tell us about his next Brad the Dragon book.”

“That would be amazing.”

She kissed the top of his head and left him to his books, then spent the next ten minutes pacing her living room and telling herself she didn’t actually care how the afternoon went. She wasn’t really interested in Jairus. He was just a guy who wrote books her kid liked. Nothing more. But the lie sounded feeble, even to her.

Jairus arrived right on time. Nicole answered his knock and found the handsome man standing on her front porch. He had flowers in one hand, a small plastic blue briefcase in the other.

She’d said casual and he’d taken her at her word. His well-worn jeans hugged his narrow hips and long legs and his polo shirt emphasized his broad shoulders. It was a very nice combination.

“Hi,” he said with a smile. “Thanks for having me over.”

“Thanks for coming.”

He handed her the flowers—a large bouquet of mixed blooms—then kissed her cheek. “This,” he said, holding up the plastic case, “is for Tyler.”

“Should I be nervous about what’s inside?”

“Not even a little.”

Tyler came running out of his bedroom.

“Jairus! You’re here.” The boy flung himself at him and wrapped both arms around his waist. “I’ve been waiting and waiting.”

Nicole held in a sigh. So much for convincing her son the visit wasn’t anything special. Jairus was his hero—or at least the author of his favorite character—which was probably the same thing.

“I’ve been waiting, too,” Jairus said as he hugged the boy. “I brought you something.”

Tyler stepped back and smiled shyly. “What is it?”

“Come see.” Jairus pointed to the kitchen table. “May I?”

She nodded, not sure what to expect. Jairus helped Tyler into his seat, then moved another chair close and took it for himself. He set the case on the table and opened it.

Inside the lid were slots filled with pencils, crayons and markers in an array of colors. The rest of the case was filled with pads of paper. Jairus took one out and put it in front of Tyler.

“How would you like to learn how to draw Brad?”

Tyler stared at him, his eyes huge, his lips parted. “For real?” he breathed.

“For real. It’s not hard. You start with a basic shape.”

Jairus pulled out two pencils. They were both black. He handed one to Tyler. It was only then that Nicole noticed they were chubbier than normal—just right for Tyler’s small hand.

Jairus took a pad of paper for himself and showed the boy how to make the basic shape of the dragon. “I like to start with four circles,” he explained. “One that will be his head and three for his body. Like this.”

He demonstrated. Tyler drew similar circles on his paper.

“Great. We’ll add his tail later. Let’s start with his head. You’ll want to add eyes and ears, like this.”

Fifteen minutes later, Tyler had a pretty decent Brad the Dragon. He bounced to his feet and ran over to her. “Mommy, Mommy, look! Did you see what I drew?”

“It’s fantastic. Can we put it on the refrigerator?”

Other drawings covered the white surface. Usually there was a discussion about what should be moved where and what would be sacrificed to make room. This time, Tyler raced to the refrigerator and began pulling down all his drawings. He placed the one of Brad right in the center, then turned to Jairus.

“Can we do it again?”

“We sure can. While you practice, I’m going to show you how to do the steps again. I’ll draw Brad in stages. That way you won’t forget.”

Nicole felt the carefully constructed wall around her heart crumble to dust. How was she supposed to resist a guy who was so good to her son? Who was inherently patient and kind with children?

They sat back at the table. Tyler’s brow furrowed as he concentrated on getting the circles exactly right.

“Is this how you learned to draw Brad?” he asked, his gaze glued to his paper.

“Uh-huh. I got a book on how to draw cartoons at the library and practiced a lot. I wanted to draw for my sister.”

Tyler turned to him. “You have a sister?”

“I did. She’s gone now.”

Tyler nodded knowingly. “Like my dad.”

Nicole stood by the counter. Now she took a step toward Tyler, then stopped herself. She knew that Jairus meant his sister had died, while Tyler meant... She paused, not sure what her son thought about his father. Eric was never here.

She told herself this wasn’t the time for that conversation, but she would be sure to have it later. When she and Tyler were alone. While she didn’t want her son missing his father, she hated that Tyler had no relationship with him. Eric had started out as a good father, but since he’d decided to write his damned screenplay, all that had changed.

Jairus and Tyler continued drawing for about half an hour. She retreated to the living room to read and give them space to just hang out.

“I’m going to talk to your mom,” Jairus said gently. “But I’ll be just in the other room if you have any questions.”

“Okay.”

Jairus got up and approached her. “I hope that was okay,” he said in a low voice.

“Are you kidding? In his world, this is the best day ever.”

Jairus flashed her a slow, sexy smile. The kind movie stars made famous. In person, it did funny things to her insides. She suddenly remembered how long it had been since a man had held her. Really held her. She and Eric hadn’t been intimate the last year of their marriage. Which meant she was practically a reborn virgin.

Sex was not happening, she told herself firmly. At least not for a very long time. She had a child to worry about. Not to mention her own still-confused feelings. Besides which, Jairus wasn’t asking.

But maybe he would, a voice in her head whispered. And if he did, maybe, just maybe a girl could say yes.

* * *

Two hours later, Tyler was still drawing. He’d moved on to the fat markers and had figured out the best shades of red to create his beloved dragon. Jairus stood by the barbecue, steaks ready to go on the grill. He had a beer while she’d poured herself a glass of wine.

“I could do a mural,” he said as he eyed the cooking meat. “In his bedroom.”

Nicole glanced toward the house. “For real? Like a Brad the Dragon mural?”

He laughed. “I’m more comfortable with him than say one of the Peanuts characters, so yeah. It would be Brad. If you don’t like the idea, just tell me.”

“Are you kidding? Tyler would love it.”

“It’d be drawing on the walls. Some people might have a problem with that.”

“I can live with it. When he’s too old for Brad, we can paint over it.”

Jairus placed a hand to his chest. “The cold practical streak of a nonbeliever.”

She grinned. “You don’t want your kids getting too old for Brad?”

“Never.”

“You could continue the series through high school.”

“I thought about it, but Brad dating? That would be too weird even for me.” His humor faded. “I missed you while I was on tour.”

The unexpected words caused her to flush. “Um, I’m sure you were too busy to even think about me.”

He studied her. “Is it that you don’t believe what I’m saying, or you do believe but it makes you uncomfortable?”

“Both.”

“Because?”

She sipped her wine. “Eric’s not dead.”

“Excuse me?”

“Eric. Tyler’s dad. You mentioned your sister was gone and Tyler said that was like his dad. Eric doesn’t see him. It’s frustrating. I can’t figure out what’s wrong. It’s not like he’s running around with a bunch of women. I’m not even sure he dates. But he’s always busy with his industry stuff. Meetings. Writing. Whatever. It’s as if Tyler doesn’t matter to him anymore.”

“Maybe he fell in love with Hollywood,” Jairus offered, then put the steaks on the grill. “People do. It can be consuming.”

“You ever tempted?”

“No. I write a cartoon character for kids. Not exactly fast-lane material. I’ve had books optioned, but there’s never been a serious move to make a movie. Which is fine. It’s not my thing. I like what I do, but I enjoy hanging out with my fans more. The kids are great.”

She thought about the special event she and Tyler had been invited to. “You do a lot for disadvantaged children.”

He raised one shoulder. “It’s not that big a deal. I’m not uncomfortable around kids who are different. It’s not like they can will themselves to be like everyone else. So we have to adjust.”

It was the “have to” part of the sentence that spoke to her the most. Jairus didn’t have to. He could write his books, go to signings, then spend his buckets of money, all without getting involved. He chose to make his work be about more.

“Back to me missing you,” he said.

She winced. “I thought I’d distracted you enough that you’d forget what we were talking about.”

“That might have worked if the subject had been less interesting. How many guys have you dated since the divorce?”

Not a happy question. “Um, counting you?”

“Sure.”

She looked at him.

He raised his eyebrows. “So I’m your first. Okay, then. I’m going to have to be gentle and go slow.”

“Very funny.”

“I’m not joking, Nicole. Divorce isn’t easy. I want to tell you that my ex is a hundred percent responsible for what went wrong in our marriage, but she’s not. She gets maybe sixty percent. I still have skin in the game. The same with you and Eric. He walked out, but how much of that is you?”

He held up the spatula. “I’m asking rhetorically, by the way. I don’t expect an answer to that.”

“Good, because I don’t always have one. I know I was wrong about a lot of things.” She glanced at her house, then back at him. “When he left, he only took a few boxes. It’s not that he was leaving me everything else, it’s that I owned the house before he and I met and I think, after we were married, I never really thought of the house as ours. That’s wrong. So when he left, there was almost nothing of his. He didn’t leave a mark on anything.”

She still remembered what it had been like when he’d packed up to go. She’d asked when he was returning to get the rest of his things. He’d looked at her and told her he had it all. That the house had never been his.

“Eric left the marriage a long time before it was over,” she continued. “I blame him for a lot of what went wrong, but I’m guilty, too. I was willing to let him walk away. I didn’t fight. I want to tell you that I didn’t think there was anything worth saving, but now, looking back, I wonder if it was because I didn’t care anymore. I’d never let him in so it wasn’t a shock when he was gone.”

Jairus studied her. “Good,” he said, surprising her.

“What’s good about it?”

“You didn’t take the easy explanation. You dug deep for the truth. That’s admirable.”

“I’m not the hero here.”

“No, but you’re not the villain, either.” His gaze locked with hers. “I missed you while I was gone,” he repeated.

She held on to her glass of wine and told herself it was okay. She could take a single step into the abyss that was dating. She could be brave. If she fell, well, she’d survived tough times before. She would survive this.

“I missed you, too.”

He smiled. “Was that so hard?”

“It was, but I’ll survive.”

* * *

Late Sunday afternoon, Gabby sat across from her husband in their backyard and wondered why it had to be like this. Why couldn’t one of them be sick, or there be a financial crisis? That would be easier. They would have an external enemy to fight together. But this separation of expectations was impossible. She didn’t know how to make him understand.

Part of her thought he was being obtuse on purpose. Because for him to see her side, he would have to acknowledge the complete unfairness of what he asked and expected. His position was indefensible, at least from where she stood. But Andrew was nothing if not fair. To survive the argument, he would have to say that purple was green and then defend that statement to the death. Or at least until they’d figured out what they were going to do about Makayla and her baby.

The afternoon was warm and sunny. The twins played on their swings in the shade of the trees on the edge of the backyard. Boomer sniffed his way through the plants by the fence, while Jasmine groomed in the sun and glared at the birds overhead. Makayla was with her mom. For the moment, there was peace. But there was also what felt like a thousand-mile-wide chasm between herself and her husband.