The Friends We Keep (Mischief Bay) (22 page)

Don’t judge, she told herself. There was no win in that. Eric and she were really different people. At one time she’d wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. If she thought he was a dick now, what did that say about her taste?

“Hi,” she said as he walked into the house. “How’s it going?”

“Good, and you?”

“Great.”

They looked at each other. Silence stretched between them. There was genuinely nothing to say, she thought with some regret. They’d been married, had made a child together. Even so, it was as if Eric was someone she’d only known a little bit, a long time ago.

“I’ll go get Tyler,” she finally said. “I’ll be running errands while you’re gone, but I’ll have my cell with me if you need anything.”

“Thanks.”

She’d barely made it through Whole Foods when her phone rang. She put the last recyclable tote in the back of her car, as she answered.

“Hello?”

“Hey, we’re done with lunch and he wants to go home. You around?”

Nicole wanted to stomp her foot. It had been what? An hour? This was Mischief Bay. In summer! There were dozens of things to do. The Long Beach aquarium wasn’t that far away. There was a kid’s art exhibit at the POP and a farmer’s market in Santa Monica. And that was what she could remember off the top of her head. Imagine if she really tried.

But this wasn’t about her, and Eric obviously hadn’t thought about what he would do with his son so he was ready to avoid his responsibility once again.

“I’ll be home in less than ten minutes,” she said. “I’ll meet you there.”

“Thanks.”

She’d barely pulled into the driveway when Eric drove up next to her. Tyler jumped out of the front seat and hurried over to her.

“Hi, Mom. We went to McDonald’s. I had a hamburger.”

“Good for you.” She smiled and held out her keys. “Want to open the front door by yourself?”

“Uh-huh.”

He took the keys and let himself in. She’d thought he might come back out to say goodbye to his dad, but no such luck. Eric got out of his car and walked over to her.

“He’s growing,” he said.

“He is.”

Eric shoved his hands into his front jeans pocket and drew in a breath. “I want to talk to you about something.”

Relief poured through her. “I’m so glad you said that. This situation is impossible. Eric, Tyler needs you. You’re his dad. But he hardly ever sees you and I worry you’ll become less and less important to him. You can’t get back this time in his life. He’s still young enough to want to hang out with his parents. I don’t know when that’s going to change, but I know it will and then what? You’ll want to be friends and he won’t be interested.”

She paused to draw in a breath. “I want you to have a good relationship with your son and I’m willing to make changes to the parenting plan if that will help. But if you want to keep things the way they are, I guess that’s okay, too. Just know you can’t keep disappointing him. You have to show up when you say.”

Eric’s gaze was steady. “I didn’t mean Tyler. I had something else to discuss.”

What could possibly matter more than their kid, she thought, both irritated and disappointed. “Okay. What?”

He reached into the backseat of his car and pulled out a large shiny blue envelope. “Two tickets to the premiere of my movie
Disaster Road
. I’d like you to come.”

She couldn’t have been more surprised if he’d held out a snake. “Why would you want me there?” she blurted.

“You were a big part of what happened to me.” He smiled. “I know I wasn’t the best husband, especially once I started working on the screenplay. But even though you didn’t approve, you supported me and I’m grateful.” He shook the envelope. “Please come. The movie’s going to be rated R, so you shouldn’t bring Tyler, but maybe a friend.”

She took the tickets. “Thank you, and um, congratulations. You must be excited.”

“I am. So I’ll see you there?”

“Uh-huh.”

Tickets to Eric’s premiere. Who would have thought? And while she was happy for him, she couldn’t help thinking he should be more worried about his son than his upcoming movie. But if he had been, there never would have been a problem, would there?

Chapter Twenty-One

While Andrew always helped the mornings he was home, he also had a way of adding to the chaos. Or maybe that was just her temper talking, Gabby thought as she got the twins seated for breakfast. Either way, she found herself oddly grateful her husband was out of town.

“Guess what we’re going to do after camp,” she said as she portioned out eggs and bacon.

The twins both looked at her, wide-eyed and hopeful. “What, Mommy?” Kennedy asked.

Kenzie’s brows rose as her mouth opened in a perfect O. “I know,” she breathed happily. “I know. I know, Mommy. I know.” She clapped her hands together. “We’re going to get new school clothes.”

Makayla, sitting across from them, shot Gabby a fearful glance. “Are we?”

“I thought we’d make our first pass at it. School starts in two weeks. I have no idea how that happened, but it did, so we’re going to have to get ready.” She felt her eyes begin to water. “My little girls, growing up so fast.”

“We want dresses,” Kenzie, the fashion princess, said firmly. “And new T-shirts and sweaters.”

Kennedy turned her attention to her breakfast, obviously uninterested in her upcoming makeover. “Mommy, did you tell the teacher we know all our letters?”

“I did and that you’re starting to read. She was very impressed.”

“Hair ribbons,” Kenzie added. “With sparkles.”

Gabby smiled at Makayla. “You have to respect that she knows what she wants.”

“Sparkles for sure.”

“Would you rather do your shopping another day?” Gabby asked Makayla, thinking with the pregnancy progressing, buying clothes could be complicated.

Relief relaxed her expression. “Yes, please.”

“Then that’s what we’ll do. You and I will go out when your dad’s back in town. We’ll take care of the twins this afternoon. I’m picking them up right at one, which means you at one-fifteen. Is that okay?”

The teen nodded. “I can leave camp early. We’re wrapping things up anyway.”

“Great. Then we’ll all go to the mall and when we’re done shopping, we’ll have dinner at Red Robin.”

The twins both cheered.

Gabby knew that with the incentive of a favorite place, the twins would make their choices more quickly. Or rather Kenzie would. Kennedy tended to go along with whatever her twin suggested on the fashion front.

By the time they got home, everyone would be exhausted. She could sit the girls down in front of a movie while she figured out what had to be washed before it could be worn. She’d already sorted through their clothes to figure out what was school-worthy and what would only be for play. There was also the pile to donate that the girls had outgrown.

For a second she felt a flash of guilt about wanting to give it away. Makayla’s baby...

She shook her head. While she didn’t agree with Andrew’s plan, that didn’t mean it wasn’t going to happen. The man had a way of being persuasive. She was determined not to stay home with Makayla’s baby, but how long could she hold out? She was starting to miss him. Miss
them
. For the greater good...

But what about her? What about what she wanted? Plus, what kind of a message was she sending to her own daughters if she caved? All of which was a lot to think of before she’d finished her first cup of coffee.

“All right, everyone,” she told the kids. “Enough chitchat. Eat. You have to get to camp.”

The twins finished their breakfasts, then raced upstairs to brush their teeth. Makayla went with them to supervise while Gabby packed lunches. The teen came back down a few minutes later.

“They’re putting on their shoes,” she said as she leaned against the counter. “About the shopping...”

Gabby finished loading the dishwasher and waited.

“Thanks for taking me on my own. I don’t really want to get anything new, but I do need a few things.”

Which was not anything like the teen who worried about every item in her wardrobe.

Gabby turned to her. “What’s your biggest concern?”

Makayla flushed. “That everyone is going to know I’m pregnant. I’m showing.” She pulled her T-shirt tight across her belly. There was a small bump. “They’re going to say stuff.”

Kids could be brutal, Gabby thought, especially teenage girls. “Have you told anyone?”

“Not yet.” Makayla dropped her arms to her side and looked away. “I don’t want to.”

“Your friends don’t know?”

“No.”

“Oh, honey, you have to tell them. At least a couple you can trust. You need the support. Friends can make all the difference.”

Makayla looked back, tears in her eyes. “What am I going to say? I’m fifteen and pregnant and my boyfriend dumped me?” She started to cry.

Gabby crossed to her and held her tight. “I know this sucks,” she murmured, “but it will get better.”

“How?”

“I have no idea, but what I do know is nothing stays the same. This is a low, so there’s going to be a high. I promise.”

As she spoke, she hoped she wasn’t lying. That things
would
get better. For all of them, but most especially for Makayla.

* * *

Hayley poured iced tea for her friend. “Thanks for coming by. I’m going crazy staying home like this. Steven made me take off until Labor Day.”

“Nice boss.”

“I think he’s more traumatized than nice, to be honest.”

Gabby raised her hands, palm up. “Can you seriously blame him? Don’t take this wrong, but you almost died. That would traumatize anyone.”

They were sitting at the small table in Hayley’s kitchen. The day was warm and sunny, so she had the slider open. Later the breeze would pick up but right now it felt like summer. Exactly what Hayley needed.

There were times when she was so cold, she was afraid she would never be warm again. Telling herself that her condition had nothing to do with body temperature and everything to do with what had happened to her didn’t help. She’d taken to wearing socks to bed and adding an extra blanket, but she was chilled to the bone. She wondered how much of that had to do with the fact that she was still sleeping alone.

“Just to be clear,” Gabby said with a smile. “You’re complaining about being given too much time off. Huh. I wonder who else would be sympathetic about that?”

Hayley laughed. “Point taken. I’ll stop whining.”

“You’re not whining at all. We’ve all worried about you. Maybe you could look at Steven’s actions through that filter.”

“I’ll try. It’s just—I’m ready to be back at work. I need things to do.”

“You’ve been doing a lot here. The new paint looks great. And the yard is coming along.”

“Thanks.” Hayley had signed up for a half-day class at the local nursery. Based on that, she’d come up with some simple ways to perk up the front yard. Rob had done the heavy digging over the weekend and she’d spent the past couple of days planting.

“I’m feeling better,” she admitted. “Physically stronger.” Not so much in her heart, but no one wanted to hear about that. “So what’s new with you?”

Gabby made a face. “Nothing. Andrew and I are still fighting. Well, not fighting exactly, but not talking very much.”

Hayley rested her elbows on the table and leaned forward. “He’s still insisting you stay home with Makayla’s baby?”

“Yup.”

Hayley couldn’t believe it. That was too much to ask. It was one thing if Gabby’s great goal in life was to be a stay-at-home mom, but she’d been dying to get back to work for a couple of years now.

“You can’t get him to listen?”

“Apparently not. I’ve tried to reason with him and we’re not making any progress. The last time we discussed all this, he said he was disappointed in me.” Gabby turned away. “Those were his exact words. I don’t get it. Why don’t I matter?”

“You do matter, Gabby. You have to see that. He loves you. He’s trapped between you and his daughter. I know which side he should come down on, but he has to figure that out for himself.”

“He’s so damned stubborn.” Gabby sipped her tea. “Did I tell you Boyd’s gone?”

“What? No. Poor Makayla.”

Gabby told her how the boy had simply disappeared. Hayley listened intently, wincing when she heard about the text message.

“That’s crappy. Who does that?”

“A sixteen-year-old boy,” Gabby said. “I feel horrible for her. It’s just one more pile of shit on this road. Next up, we talk to Candace. Like that will go well.” She leaned back in the chair. “I’m a horrible person because I keep hoping that she’ll give up the baby for adoption.”

“That doesn’t make you horrible,” Hayley said automatically, even as she emotionally distanced herself from the conversation. She could talk about this, she told herself, as long as she didn’t think about it too much.

“It would solve a lot of problems. There are hundreds of wonderful couples who desperately want a—” She slapped her hand over her mouth. “Oh, God. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“No, I’m sorry. Talk about insensitive. For a second, I forgot.”

Hayley allowed herself a slight smile. “Amazingly enough, I don’t expect you to spend every second of every day thinking about me.”

“But I’m your friend. I
should
be thinking about you.”

“And you do. Gabby, it’s fine. I know the prevailing wisdom on adoption.”

“But you don’t want to go that route.”

“I can’t.”

“I thought your parents were good people.”

“They were,” Hayley said slowly. “It’s not about goodness. It’s about...”

“Morgan?” Gabby asked. “You know she’s having a cow with you gone, right? When I was there last week, she was completely insane. There’s not enough help and the place wasn’t set up at all. We had to open bags of cut-up vegetables ourselves and go find the spices.”

Hayley thought about the three messages her sister had left on her phone. “We’re not speaking. She got a little difficult the last time she was here and Rob threw her out.” Hayley wasn’t sure how she felt about how he’d reacted. She must approve because she hadn’t tried to get in touch with her sister since. She had to admit, a Morgan-free world was very peaceful.

“Tell me you’re not going back,” Gabby pleaded.

Not go back to Supper’s in the Bag? She’d never considered otherwise. She had to help—Morgan was her only family.

Yet as the question sat unanswered, raw truth formed. They no longer needed the money. Even more important, she’d never much liked the job and working for Morgan was a nightmare. Her sister was bossy and demanding and...

“Oh my God,” Hayley breathed. “I don’t want to go back.”

“Victory!” Gabby toasted her with her iced tea glass. “Good for you.”

Was it good? Hayley turned the undefined sensation in her chest over a couple of times. Relief, she thought carefully. Maybe a little freedom with a giddiness chaser? She could sleep in on the weekends, like a regular person. Use her free time to discover a hobby or two she liked. There were possibilities.

But as soon as she thought about how joyful that all would be, the sadness returned, nearly crushing her with its weight. She felt the heaviness against her shoulders and thighs and it was suddenly hard to breathe.

Gabby grabbed her hand. “I saw that,” she whispered. “Oh, Hayley, how can I help?”

“You can’t. I have to work through this on my own.”

“No, you don’t. Your friends love you. Rob loves you. You’re not alone.”

Hayley knew that was true and also that it didn’t make a difference. “You don’t understand.”

“Then help me get it. Why do you have to have your own biological child? Is it the DNA thing? You want to pass on who you are? Is it having a true biological connection? Someone who comes from you because you don’t know who you are and if you have a baby, you’ll have that link?”

“You’ve thought about this a lot,” she said, surprised at Gabby’s insights.

“Of course I have. You’re my friend. I want you to be happy.”

Happy. That sounded nice. Not possible, but nice.

“My adoption was completely closed,” Hayley said slowly. “I’ve left my information with several registries, but it’s obvious my biological parents don’t want to get in touch with me. I’m sure there are ways to hunt them down, but why? So that’s some of it.”

“Is Morgan part of it, too?”

“Yes. She’s so—”

“Bitchy? Mean? Selfish?” Gabby drew in a breath. “Sorry, I interrupted.”

Hayley managed a slight smile. “Yes, but it was a good one. She’s difficult. It’s all about her, all the time. I’m starting to wonder if it’s always been that way.”

“Of course it has. She was born bitchy. If you’re still thinking about your parents acting differently with her, it’s because they had to. All that attitude and selfishness in a seven-year-old?” Gabby shuddered. “Talk about a nightmare. You were the good kid. Trust me on that. They didn’t love her more. They loved her differently.”

Hayley knew Gabby was exaggerating, but there was also truth in what she was saying. If she accepted the premise that her parents loved her just as much, then needing a child of her own was...foolish. And she wanted to believe, wanted to know that she could love an adopted child just as much.

Of course if she couldn’t have children of her own, did it matter? Whatever love she could give would stand on its own—uncompared to... To what? Real love? But that was stupid. She loved Rob completely, even though he wasn’t a biological part of her.

“I’m so confused,” she admitted. “About everything.” She smiled. “You’re a good friend. That, I know for sure.”

“No, I’m an average friend. A good friend wouldn’t whine so much.”

“You don’t whine. You have a lot going on. Makayla, her pregnancy, Andrew being annoying.”

Gabby laughed. “There is that.” Her smile faded. “About Makayla’s baby,” she began.

“No,” Hayley told her. “I couldn’t. Even if I were to adopt, it’s too close. Does that make sense? Makayla would be right there, as would you and Andrew.”

“I get it,” Gabby told her. “It’s taking open adoption a step too far. For what it’s worth, you’d be my first choice.”

Another healing block filled in a bit of the hole in her heart. Hayley reached out and squeezed Gabby hand. “It’s worth a lot.”

* * *

Gabby had only been at Candace’s town house once before. The three-story home was as coolly elegant as the woman herself. White walls, pale hardwood floors, white and ivory furnishings with the odd splash of deep orange as an accent color. There was a view of the ocean and plenty of open space. No toys, no pet hair, nothing to say that a real person actually lived here.