The Geek and His Artist (17 page)

Mr. Bennet gave an overexaggerated sigh. “Fine, if you insist.” He winked at Simon again. “Just remember, Simon, it’s never a bad idea to kiss his ass.” He nodded, and Jimmy’s cheeks got even redder.

Amy laughed.

“Shut up, not you too,” he grumbled at his sister.

“I already went through this. Dirk’s too used to them. Now I get to laugh at you.”

Jimmy’s eyes narrowed and she just laughed louder.

“You used to laugh and torment me something awful when they did it to me. Turnabout,
little
brother,” she said.

That sent Simon into a fit of laughter.

“Hey, a little support, here,” Jimmy muttered.

Simon got control of himself, leaned in, and kissed Jimmy on the cheek. “Sorry.”

“See? He’s already learning. Kissing ass isn’t that hard to do. It can even be—”

“Dad, please!” At the desperation in Jimmy’s voice, Simon reached over and touched Jimmy’s hand, and Jimmy turned his so their fingers threaded. “This is why you don’t meet the family so soon,” he muttered, and Simon couldn’t help it—he laughed.

“Joseph!” Jimmy’s mom chided. “Really! We’ll embarrass him later. I know exactly where the baby pictures are. At least let the boy eat!”

Jimmy’s face was turning an alarming shade of red. “I’m going to just die and be done with it. Just… let me die.”

Amy wasn’t helping, too busy trying not to choke on her food while she laughed.

Simon, though amused, felt it only fair to defend his boyfriend. He leaned in and murmured in Jimmy’s ear, “Then I wouldn’t have you. No dying.” He sat up and smiled at the Bennets. “I’m sure he was really cute, but we should be nice to him. We’re still learning this dating thing.”

Jimmy’s parents exchanged knowing looks that Simon didn’t understand. “So, Simon, what are you planning after high school?”

“I’m hoping to go for a fine arts degree. There are a couple of colleges here that have decent art scholarships. My art teacher, Mr. Steel, is helping me with those.”

“Oh, that’s right! Jimmy said you draw! Do you work with any other media?” Jimmy’s mom dumped a big spoon of the couscous on Simon’s plate before sending it back.

“Not… not really. I like to paint, but I only really do it at school, and that’s usually the projects that are assigned.” Simon left out that he hadn’t had art supplies at home since before high school. The last paint set he’d had got washed down the sink as punishment. The easel his mother had bought him in eighth grade had been turned into a weapon.

“Did you know Jimmy is going for teaching?” Jimmy’s dad asked.

Simon smiled and nodded, looking over at his boyfriend. “He’ll be good at it.”

Jimmy blushed. “I don’t know.”

Simon looked back at Jimmy’s dad. “In two hours of tutoring, I went from not understanding a thing about trig, to understanding nearly two months of stuff.”

Jimmy’s dad grinned. “Sounds like our Jimmy.”

“So, uh, Mom… how’s your work?” Jimmy asked, sounding a little strangled. Simon squeezed Jimmy’s hand and watched as Jimmy took a deep breath. The color finally started to fade a little.

Jimmy’s parents left him alone after that. They talked about school and college plans. They asked about favorites—subjects, food, music, movies, and books. He learned that Jimmy’s mom worked from home most of the time as some sort of computer guru, and his dad taught college classes in computers. Amy told stories of the kids she met and some of the funny things they did, and talked about Dirk’s job as an electrician. They laughed and joked, telling him some of the less-embarrassing stories of Jimmy’s childhood.

By the time peach pie had been served, Simon struggled to eat around the lump in his throat. He wanted this family badly. He wanted to know what it would be like to not be afraid of flying objects or shouted insults when he woke up in the morning. He wanted to know what it would be like to know he’d never miss a meal in punishment. He wanted the laughter, the acceptance. The love.

He just didn’t know if he could take that step. How? Did he just not go back? He thought of the sketchbooks he had hidden in his room so The Bastard wouldn’t shred them. He thought of the few pieces of clothing he had—his other jeans, his comic book T-shirts. He didn’t have a lot, but he didn’t really want to just walk away from it either.

Jimmy’s mom hadn’t said anything about him staying again. Maybe they’d changed their minds? Maybe he’d been right and it’d been for that one night, not for good?

The pie on his plate started to blur, and Simon forced himself take a breath, then a bite, willing the thoughts away. He’d been handling this for years; he could make it a few months more. He was being ridiculous and he knew it. They liked him, he could see that, and sometime, hopefully after he graduated, he could spend more time with them.

That thought helped calm him down a little more. He firmly shut the door on the little voice that wanted him to ask why they didn’t want him now, and focused instead on the rest of his pie.

Jimmy and Amy cleared the table and put the leftovers away as Simon and Dirk loaded the dishwasher. When Jimmy finished, he took over for Dirk, and Simon was grateful to be alone with Jimmy for a few minutes.

“They love you,” Jimmy said, drying a platter that was too big for the dishwasher.

“They like me,” Simon corrected. “They don’t know me enough—”

“My family loves you,” Jimmy said again. “Mom already thinks of you as her son. When Amy brought her boyfriends home, she didn’t treat them like she treats you. I’m a little embarrassed to admit, she asked me if I was planning to propose.”

Simon spun, splashing dish suds on them, to stare at Jimmy. “Are you… what… I mean, really?”

“You have to remember they got married out of high school. Amy and Dirk love each other very much, and it looks like they’re going to last a really long time. Mom figures you and I will too.”

Simon swallowed and turned back to the sink, rinsed the saucepan, and set it in the rack to dry. He had no idea what to say. “I like them,” Simon whispered. “Your family is amazing.”

“Do you want to be part of it?” Jimmy asked.

Simon’s stomach dropped out.
Was he? Did he?
Even Simon’s own thoughts couldn’t form. “I… what?”

Jimmy set down the saucepan he’d picked up to dry, wiped his hands on the kitchen towel, and took Simon’s. “Mom wanted me to ask you again to stay.”

Oh God. He’d just been thinking they didn’t want him. He’d just gotten himself back to being okay with the idea of going back to The Bastard’s.

But… could he leave? He still couldn’t figure that out. What if Jimmy was hurt? What if The Bastard did something to him?

Jimmy had spent the better part of the week touching Simon every minute of the time they were together. He’d been protective, and Simon was smart enough to figure out that the bruises had really bothered Jimmy. He knew how
he’d
feel if he saw them on Jimmy. He couldn’t let that happen.

“Baby?”

Simon pulled himself back to Jimmy. “Uh… I… I don’t know,” he whispered miserably.

What if they found him? What would The Bastard do to him when they took him back this time?

“I… I don’t know. Jimmy, I… what if… but… I….” He started babbling, panic sinking in.

“Shhh! Shh, it’s okay, baby, it’s okay,” Jimmy murmured, pulling him close and wrapping both arms tightly while still avoiding his bruises. “It’s okay. Shh.”

Simon struggled for breath, his vision narrowing, darkening around the edges. He fisted his hands in the
got precious?
hoodie, holding on to the only solid thing in his world.

Jimmy rocked him a little, arms firm around him. “Breathe, baby. Take slow, deep breaths.”

Simon tried, but he was shaking at the same time.

“Baby, look at me,” Jimmy said, voice firm, putting a finger under Simon’s chin and tilting his face up. Simon met his gaze and Jimmy cupped a cheek. “It’s okay. Breathe with me.” He started to slowly inhale, and Simon, eyes focused on Jimmy’s, did it with him. And finally the air filled his lungs.

It took several more of those before his vision cleared and his heart slowed.

And mortification set it.

He’d just fallen apart on his boyfriend, in his boyfriend’s house, with his boyfriend’s family in the next room. Did they see? What would they think?

What did Jimmy think?

But he was looking at Jimmy still, and there was no anger, no disgust, no anything but concern and care on his gorgeous boyfriend’s face. “I’m sorry,” Simon whispered, swallowing and trying for more volume.

“You don’t have to be sorry, it’s okay. I didn’t mean to make you panic.”

“I’ve… I’ve never panicked like that before,” Simon mumbled. “I don’t know why.”

“I think I do, but don’t worry right now. Let’s go sit down.”

“But the dishes—”

“Can wait a bit. Amy and Dirk will finish them. Come on.”

He guided Simon through the empty dining room and into the living room. Amy and Dirk sat on the loveseat, and Jimmy’s dad took up one end of the couch. Simon sat at the other end, and as soon as Jimmy took the spot next to him, he was pulled into Jimmy’s arms. Jimmy dropped a kiss on his head, and Simon didn’t hear anything, but a few seconds later, Amy nodded several times and she and Dirk got up.

God, he was a mess. Simon stared at Jimmy’s jean-clad knee, not really seeing it. He
did
know what caused the panic, but he didn’t want to tell Jimmy that. He didn’t want to admit the fear. He was already so screwed up that Jimmy felt the need to protect and take care of him.

And now he’d added a panic attack on top of that.

If Jimmy didn’t take him back to The Bastard’s and run fast the other way, Simon would be very surprised. And seriously question Jimmy’s sanity at the same time.

He didn’t know how long they sat there, Jimmy rubbing his arm and holding him, but Jimmy’s mom and dad stepped up in front of them. “Amy and Dirk want to go to the Waterfront for a movie. Do you guys want to go?”

Simon forced himself to sit up and smile.

“Nah,” Jimmy said and Simon was surprised by the easy tone of voice. “Are you kidding? We get the house to ourselves for a few hours?”

Simon’s cheeks reddened when Jimmy’s mom gave a knowing smile. “Good point. Don’t make too much of a mess, and lock up when you take Simon back.”

“I know, Mom,” Jimmy said, and the exasperated tone of voice was so
normal
, it lifted Simon’s spirits a little more.

She laughed and waved a hand, and then they went to the front door.

“Bye, Simon!” Amy called from the doorway. “I hope to see you again really soon. I graduate this spring, so we’ll be back here in Pittsburgh then.”

Simon found himself smiling for real. “I hope to see you too.”

Amy beamed at that, then grabbed her coat. Simon returned Dirk’s wave, and after a bit more chaos as they finished getting coats and scarves and hats, they were gone.

“I didn’t expect this,” Jimmy murmured in Simon’s ear, and there was
no way
Simon could mistake the tone of voice. It shot straight to Simon’s groin, and he sucked in a breath.

Jimmy turned Simon’s head, misinterpreting the gasp. “You don’t have to, I’m—”

Simon didn’t let him finish. He turned, pushing Jimmy back onto the couch, and sealed his lips over his boyfriend’s. Jimmy moaned into the kiss, and that only fueled Simon’s need. He didn’t quite understand it, but he
needed
Jimmy, needed to feel, needed to be as close as he could get. He didn’t know if it was an aftereffect of the panic attack or what, but he crushed Jimmy into the couch, the kiss hard, sloppy, and needy.

Jimmy wrapped his arms around Simon, and they ground their cocks together. He thrilled at the knowledge that Jimmy obviously wanted him too, and when Jimmy’s hands cupped his ass, he broke the kiss to let out the groan that bubbled up. Jimmy immediately started kissing Simon’s neck, dragging even more sounds from him.

Jimmy pulled back a moment later. “Get up, baby,” he said, letting go.

Simon, lost in the feel of Jimmy, blinked down at him. Did he do something wrong? Did he want to stop? Simon realized just how much he’d attacked Jimmy, and his face burned as he stood up. “I’m sorry, I—”

“No, no!” Jimmy grabbed his hand. “I just want to get on the couch all the way,” Jimmy said and sat up. He shifted back, pulling his hoodie off while he did so, and tossed it onto the coffee table, all while kicking his shoes off, then held his arms out.

Simon considered him briefly, and when he was sure Jimmy really wasn’t upset, he shrugged his flannel shirt off and dropped it next to Jimmy’s hoodie, then bent to untie and take off his Converse before crawling back onto the couch. “I’m sorry, I panicked.”

“It’s okay, baby. Don’t
ever
think that I don’t want you. I’m never going to kiss you like that, touch you like that, if I don’t mean it.” Jimmy ran his fingers over Simon’s cheek, then cupped it in his palm.

Simon met Jimmy’s gorgeous brown eyes and nodded. “Okay.”

“Good. Now, I believe we were….” He caught Simon’s lips in another kiss, and Simon consciously let go of the last bit of panic and sank into Jimmy, focusing on the feel of him all along his body. They touched everywhere, and Simon felt the safety, the warmth, envelop him once again.

Simon spent an amazing, lazy time kissing and being kissed. Just that, their lips and tongues learning what little bit they hadn’t yet. Jimmy ran his hands up and down Simon’s back under his shirt, and the skin-to-skin contact made Simon wish he was a cat just so he could purr. He realized the low, near-constant moans he let out were damned close, but Jimmy seemed to like them, so he couldn’t get embarrassed over them.

He didn’t know what sparked it, what changed, but one minute they were kissing lazily, and the next, hunger—sharp and hot—took over. Simon ground down into Jimmy, and Jimmy’s previously soft hands gripped his ass and pulled him tighter still. Their sounds changed too, the moans turning louder, sounding more like grunts and cries.