The General and the Horse-Lord (20 page)

“I’ve got you pinned down. I can do anything I want to you.”

“Like what?”

“Hmmm, let me think.” His hand was moving down John’s belly, sliding, long fingers wrapping around him. “While I’m thinking, maybe I’ll just take a taste.”

“Good. That’s a classic. Like Old Faithful.” John put his hands behind his head and stared at the ceiling. He needed to think. He could tell Gabriel was smiling, felt his warm breath on his thigh, in and out, sweet, warm breath from the nose of the man he loved. John shook his head, checked the corners of the ceiling for cobwebs.
You are such a fool.
Then he thought he should tell Gabriel. “I am such a fool over you.”

What was he going to do? It would be stupid to wait for the IG to approach him. By that time, decisions would have been made and pigheaded IG lawyers wouldn’t back down, not once they’d taken a stand. So he would need to do some recon, just to get the lay of the land. And no way was Gabriel getting within a hundred miles of this one. If somebody needed to throw themselves off a cliff, John was going to make damn sure it was him. Gabriel had given enough.

“You’re not really into this, are you?”

“Just thinking.” He reached down, ran his fingers through Gabriel’s hair. A year into retirement, and John suddenly felt like he’d been living in a giant protective army bubble, where nothing could hurt him, and he hadn’t even realized it. Now he was out in the world, just another Joe Schmoe, and his importance to the big scheme of the world was less than that of the barista who had a coffee stand in the courtyard of the Pentagon. That was okay, there was a time for glory and a time to step down, but protecting himself from lawyers? Who could have imagined this? No, never in a million years had he considered this eventuality. He’d lived clean and worked hard and never crossed a line, never, not once, except for Gabriel. And that had never felt to him like a line he was crossing. It had felt like pure, sweet oxygen, when he’d been underwater for a couple of minutes too long. Lawyers were for the lazy scumbags who tried to slide the consequences of their weak characters under the radar. He realized he had his fingers in the hair of a lawyer who was breathing on his thigh, gave Gabriel a silent apology.

Gabriel scooted back to the head of the bed, pulled the sheet up over both of them. He squished his pillow around until it felt right, and then he settled in, stared at the side of John’s head. John looked at him. “What?”

“Maybe we should talk about whatever it is you’re thinking, General.”

John shook his head. “Don’t worry. I’ve got this one.”

“I don’t think so. You’re not the Lone Ranger, and I sure as shit am not Tonto.”

John lifted his head, stared at the man lying on the next pillow. “Excuse me?”

“I’ve always let you lead.”

“Yes, well, I was the senior officer.”

“Notice I used the past tense. You can still lead, John. You’re smarter than me and more experienced and I trust you absolutely. I’ve had a whole lifetime of following your lead, and I don’t know if I want to change now. But I’m the only attorney in this bed, and this is a legal matter that involves my wife and me. You’ve been caught up in it, but there is nothing here for you to handle. I’ll take care of this.”

“So I should just shut up and take my blowjob like a good boy, let you handle everything?”

“That would be fine with me.”

“Are you really suggesting I should just stay at home, write some papers, watch the basil grow? Wait to be arrested, court-martialed, and stripped of my life’s work?” John felt as close to speechless as he had ever been. “You….” He didn’t know what to say, other than to put his hands over his face and scream.

“Nobody’s going to arrest you. Don’t you trust me to handle this? People pay me to do this for a living, remember? You think I’m going to let them get within ten miles of you?”

“Why do you say this has nothing to do with me? Did not your wife just name me as an adulterer? In a public, legal document? And, of course, Gabriel, she was right. We can’t ignore the fact that she was correct. I did commit adultery. So did you. I mean, no one could argue the point that Martha has a legitimate grievance.”

“‘Women do most delight in revenge
.
’ That was on my last fortune cookie at Ho Ho’s. I’ll argue the legitimacy of Martha’s grievance at a later time. For now, let’s get back to this one critical point. You don’t trust me to protect you. Why not? Your back has been mine to watch since 1986, and now suddenly I’m not up to the task? Don’t you know I would give my life to protect you? That I would give everything I have, everything I am, to protect you and keep you safe?”

John reached out, ran his hands down the angry, hurt lines of Gabriel’s face. Gabriel closed his eyes, settled back into his pillow, and sighed. “Yes, I know what you would do for me. What you have always done for me.” John started to speak, then stopped, lay back down, and stared at the ceiling again. “I’ve been a fool, and it’s a miracle you’ve put up with me for all these years. The waiting, and the secrets. You gave up everything for this, for us, everything that mattered to you.” He reached for Gabriel’s hand, twined their fingers together. “Martha lost her family. You may lose that much, or more. But what have I given up? Where’s my cost? Maybe there’s a price for me to pay. I don’t want you to have to give any more. It’s my turn, don’t you think?”

“No, I don’t. That’s ridiculous. You don’t have to earn a place in my life. What, you think there’s an entry fee? So much suffering is required to earn the right to love? It’s not like that, John. It’s just… totally fucking random. There is no reason to it, okay? Don’t try and organize this into one of your outlines.”

“Will you let me shake a few trees? See if I can get the old boys’ network to gather some intel?”

Gabriel looked at him for a long moment. “Yeah, okay. That’s probably the best way to proceed. Find out the mood, who’s going to be making the decisions. Then we go in there and blow them out of the water.”

“Agreed. I should see them before they decide to lay charges. Kim would be upset if I got arrested.”

“Kim would be upset? I’ll burn down the fucking brig. And no one is going to lay charges. I will have the ACLU boys standing before a bank of microphones, giving a press conference, before those dickheads finish printing out their charges. And you meant we, right? You said I would see them. You meant we would see them. Or I can put on my uniform and turn myself in first thing in the morning, and take care of this myself.”

“I meant we. Always, Gabriel. We are a we. We aren’t you and I anymore.”

“Okay, good. As long as we’re clear about that. Because I never want to have this conversation with you again. Ever.”

“Would we have to play the gay card?”

Gabriel sighed. “John, we’re gay. You know that, right?”

J
OHN
heard Kim in the kitchen making coffee, so he had time to pull the quilt up over them before he burst through the door. “So, Uncles! About time we had a counsel of war, don’t you think?” He passed out coffee cups and settled himself, cross-legged, on the end of the bed. He nodded toward John. “I know you’re King Arthur and I’m one of the knights, I think I want to be Lancelot, by the way, but even the knights have to have a briefing every once in a while. Just so they don’t accidently stumble into the middle of an active op and screw things up.” Gabriel blinked at him, took a sip of coffee. He looked sleepy, but John wasn’t fooled. Pilots were up and in attack mode with zero warm-up.

“You heard from Billy?”

“He stayed with his dad at the Holiday Inn down by the airport. He sounded pretty small and sad. I’ll tell you what I think. I think all you dads need to….” He stopped, the words drying up like a tiny stream in the heat of summer. “Okay! Never mind what I think. So what’s happening?”

“About what?”

Kim frowned at him. “What is happening in your campaign to get Brian Walker fired?”

“Oh, that’s done. Dean Fox had a letter of resignation for him yesterday. Or was it the day before?” He looked at Gabriel, but just got a gleam out of dark eyes and a grin. “And I believe the good dean also resigned yesterday.”

“Who, George? Over this?”

“Over his recognized failure of leadership.”

“So it’s all done? You’re finished?”

“Not quite.”

Now Kim waited, arms folded across his chest, and John drank his coffee, waiting him out. Gabriel nudged him. “I would like to give Kim a briefing about what’s happening with our family.”

John looked at him in surprise. “Okay, if you think so.”

“I think maybe Juan knew… he’s been put in a bad position, regardless, and I want Kim to know what’s going on.” He held out his empty coffee cup. “I better get a refill before we start.”

Kim collected coffee cups, went back into the kitchen. John leaned over, kissed Gabriel good morning. They were both sitting up against the headboard by the time Kim came back. He settled on the end of the bed again. “I think gay men should always do their problem solving naked and in bed.”

John and Gabriel exchanged looks at this, and John sighed. “Must we have…?”

“Sorry, sorry! Just trying to lighten the mood. I get the feeling I’m not going to like whatever is coming.”

Gabriel set down his coffee mug. “There are two situations that have dovetailed. Your uncle and I have been trying to figure out why Brian Walker has been protected by the university when they have known for some time he was abusive and having relationships with students. We uncovered information suggesting his father, Prentiss Walker, who is a member of the board of supervisors for the university system in New Mexico, has been protecting him through the university president, Simon Wainright. The report your uncle wrote regarding this matter went to a number of people who are on different sides of a political line up in Santa Fe. Walker, senior, has been threatened by the presence of this well-documented report, by his son’s erratic and increasingly dangerous behavior, and by political rivals in the governor’s office, who also have access to the report.

“Prentiss Walker has done two things. He has sent Brian into hiding, so he could not be arrested or fired, and I suspect is arranging some sort of rehab or medical admission, so he will be legally protected from action. The second thing he did….” He hesitated, and John could hear the strain in his voice. “He looked for a way to attack your uncle. Both distract him and attack his credibility. And the way he did that was he sent an attorney to Martha, and that attorney took a deposition regarding your uncle and my long-term affair, which was in violation of a number of statutes of the UCMJ, the Uniform Code of Military Justice. This deposition has been turned over to the inspector general, and if he follows usual procedures, their office will complete an investigation and then decide if they want to proceed to either court martial or administrative action against him. Against both of us.”

“What sort of administrative action?”

“Reduction in rank, forfeiture of pension, fines.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Kim had jumped off the bed, was pacing around the room, his hands bunched in his hair like he was going to snatch a handful by the root.

“Kiddo.” His old nickname stopped Kim in his tracks, and he turned into his Uncle John’s arms, tears spilling from his eyes. “You didn’t think war was easy, did you?”

“I thought I was in grad school. When did that turn into a war?”

“I’m sorry, Kim.” John stroked his dark hair. “You don’t worry about it, honey. Let me and Gabriel handle everything. It will all be okay, I promise.”

Kim pulled out of his arms. “I’m not a baby anymore! You have to let me help. I can’t just go back to taking pictures….”

“That’s exactly what you can do, and you will do. Kim, what I need is for everyone to do what they do best. Whatever you and Billy are planning for Ho Ho’s? You make it outstanding. Make it mean something. It’s a week Friday? Son, you understand we always need someone to lead the healing after the war has ended. That’s your role. That’s what I’m counting on you to do. You figure out a way to start us healing again. And I will take care of the rest of this mess.”

Kim wiped the tears off his face with the back of his hand. “Okay. I can do that. You know, that sounds so corny, if anyone else but you had said it, I would think I was being played. But you really mean it, don’t you?”

“Yes, I do.”

After he left, Gabriel picked up his cup and took a thoughtful sip. “Nobody can play him like you can. You’re King Arthur and Kim is Lancelot, so who the hell am I? You better not say Guinevere.”

“You’re the faithful consigliere. Always at my side.”

“Ah. Okay, I’m good with that.”

Kim stuck his head back in the door five minutes later. “Nobody asked me, but I bet I know where Brian is. He’s got a boat down at Elephant Butte Lake. It’s his favorite ‘get out of town with the boys’ toy.”

Gabriel studied him. “No instructions not to approach? No lectures about dogs in this fight?”

Kim shook his head, and his face looked tougher than John had ever seen it. “He crossed a line when he attacked Billy. He crossed another one when his father attacked my family. Enough is fucking enough. You can punch me in the mouth, but he made a mistake when he went after my uncles, and my friend.” Kim hesitated. “I just called Billy’s dad, told him where to find Brian. I didn’t want you to have to do that. Billy’s coming over and we’re going to work on the show while… while the warriors go to war.”

Chapter 16