The Ghost and the Darkness Volume 1 (The Fallocaust Series Book 2) (52 page)

Was this why he was so insane?

Would I end up like him?

Of course I would.

I was him.

I climbed up the black tree, its bark bone-dry and shredding underneath my feet, like in my previous life when I used to watch Killian sleep. I climbed to a thick branch and perched, watching the ghostly white kreigers wander around the road and alleyways of the city, a parking lot and a large street away. They were haunting pale figures, their unaware movements like worms swaying back and forth. For the most part they were still, soaking up the moonlight with their heads raised like they were basking in the sun. Sometime they got into fights, other times they rushed over when one of them found a radrat or something new inside the buildings, but for the most part they covered the ground and surfaces like a splattering of white paint.

My mouth moved to the cigarette I had lit, my mind deep in itself churning over the question that had been my friend for months now.

How did I end up here?

Though now I said it differently, the tone of my inner voice was starting to become condescending, accusing me of taking risks I didn’t need to take, and putting Killian in needless danger, all for a rebellion I didn’t start.

I had never wanted to be king of the greywastes or Elish’s weapon, or Greyson and Leo’s for that matter. All my life my desire was to keep to myself, do my job and not be bothered… put in some random killing to satisfy that need inside of me and I was fine.

I was fine, Reno was fine, and Killian was fine.

This wasn’t my fight and what had brought me to this city, to this tree, was that I had wanted to avenge Greyson and Leo’s deaths… but when it all simmered down and I saw the residue that remained, the fact of the matter is… they all fucking started it.

I sighed, feeling angry at myself. I flicked the cigarette away and lit another one.

They didn’t start it; King Silas started it when he decided to be a tyrant. I had heard those stories from Jade, what King Silas did to the chimeras’ lovers; how he controlled them and tortured them when he felt threatened. Silas started it by becoming the insane lunatic in the first place. Elish was just the first one to snap.

This was for the greater good…

But as that echoed in my head, sometimes in Leo’s voice, Greyson’s or Elish’s… I found myself pushing their words away and gritted my teeth.

Because I wasn’t good.

I am not good.

I am the Reaper.

All I care about is Killian, he is the only one that makes the warmth come to my veins, that makes my insides stir. Only him and no one else; I protect him, it’s my job to protect him.

I am immortal and he isn’t.

Fucking hell, I am no hero. I’m the opposite. I’d bomb Skyfall if it ever got into my hands, I’d force them into the greywastes so they could feel what it was like to live in this monotone hell.

I blew out the smoke, not realizing I had kept it inside of my lungs longer than necessary. When I did I sighed and leaned against the black papery trunk of the tree.

If I am immortal, Elish is, Perish is, and Silas is… maybe this can wait. This can wait until… Killian is gone. I can spend every waking moment of my life making him happy with the time we have, and when he dies… then I can do it.

Time is now a road we no longer walk; we walk our own solemn road above the others, with a bird’s-eye view of their lives from birth to death. We are nothing but deities in the sky watching them live and die as we continue our bleak journey.

That was my life now… Killian would only be within my reach for a short period of time.

Well… if Elish has been planting this seed for over twenty years, I can plant my own, take control of my own life and do what I think is best.

And what I think is best, is being with Killian where he won’t be hurt. He is my responsibility and the love of my life. Silas will be there in sixty years like he has been the last two hundred and a half. Hell… when he dies I’ll be insane from grief anyways, all the more fire in my blood to kill King Silas.

Sorry Elish… this is just how it has to be.

“I’m coming up, I need air too,” a voice that still held shreds of youth called from below me.

The pet will find its master. Jade the cicaro always has to tag along, well, it was better him than Perish or Killian. I still didn’t want to see Killian and I might strangle Perish right now if I saw him. The pet knew when to be quiet; a few years with Elish had taught him to mind his manners.

I had to talk to him about something anyways.

So I shifted over on my branch and watched him skillfully climb the tree like he was half cat. Though that was explained when I saw he was wearing those steel murder claws on his fingers. Never go out unarmed I guess.

The cicaro looked up at our hazy grey moon and lit a blue-embered cigarette before tucking one behind my ear. The sapphire ember bathed his opal face in a cold glow, one that made his eyes appear green.

He was already looking older being in the greywastes, his face was covered in black stubble now and his once perfectly manicured eyebrows were back to their natural state. Even his clothes smelled like dust even though we had only been gone from the lab for a day.

I enjoyed my last fleeting moments of silence; enjoyed the crisp night and the foggy stars in the sky; even enjoyed the kreigers crawl along the walls and the street. But I had to get this off my chest; I had to be free of this burden before I went back into that library.

I dashed the cigarette, watching the ashes rain down into oblivion and took in a long breath.

“Tomorrow we’re going back to the lab, I’m leaving you and Perish there… and I’m taking Killian and leaving,” I said simply but firmly.

I saw the movement as his neck snapped towards me, to his credit he didn’t flip out, there was no hiding the shock in his heartbeat though. It gave a nervous thrust before his pulse started to rise.

He looked back towards the buildings and swallowed hard. “He’ll be at more risk in the greywastes. Silas won’t stop looking for you.”

“We’re going far from here… past the greyrifts, past the Legion’s power… I can survive on my own.” I wonder if Leo ever wanted to do this with me and Greyson. Run away from Aras with the people he loved, to escape that insane king. Greyson would’ve never allowed it though; I was his hope, a hope for a better world.

I am no martyr though; they started this, not me.

“Into the plaguelands? They’re called the plaguelands for a reason… anything past the greyrifts is just blight, disease, worse mutations and lethal radiation…” Jade stopped when he saw the dangerous look cross my face. He switched gears in that moment and said in a silent tone. “He’s got the best chance staying with us, being protected by me and Perish, Elish… everyone. You two won’t survive long in the greywastes and what life would that be anyways? Without a block to go home to… you’ve got nothing.”

Frustrated I threw my cigarette down but I didn’t let myself show any more emotion. The cig bounced over the grey rocks, sending a shower of sparks into the darkness like fireworks… before, like my hope, they died in the night.

“He’s crazy because everyone he loved died.” I took the cigarette from behind my ear and lit it. “Killian, as Perish said, is going to die in sixty years, why am I risking losing him? The chimeras involved in this are immortal, they can wait. Once Killian is gone, after he’s lived a decent life… I’ll do it, but not before that.” I swallowed a well of guilt inside of me, and tried to convince myself I was the Reaper, but right now I was just Killian’s guardian. “I… I should’ve left him in Donnely. Perish was right, he would’ve been safe there, forever. What do I offer him? A big chance of getting tortured, raped, and murdered by Asher. He’s already done two of those things to him.”

“That’s just the life he has… Elish would’ve have chosen him if he didn’t think he was strong enough to handle it.” Jade’s tone still remained calm and level. “And you wouldn’t be with him if he wasn’t the kid he is now. He’d scream at you if he heard the shit coming out of your mouth. Fucking everyone thinks that kid’s weak, but he can be a little python when he wants. He ruined that radscorprion… just no one fucking gives him the chance to prove himself.”

My thoughts only darkened and I spoke my realization out loud through a breath of smoke. “Yeah, the mortal keeps putting himself in danger and not hiding behind me now, I know. Look, Jade, I didn’t tell you to argue. It’s how it’s going to be. Tell Elish to find me in sixty years and we’ll go and kill Silas. You would’ve unraveled Perish’s mind by then. We’ll pick this up then… but I’m not risking Killian’s life for something we both never signed up for.” I shifted off of the tree, and let myself fall. I landed on the ground with a thunk and started to make my way back to the half lifted piece of metal.

“Silas will kill him, Reaver, and if you don’t have someone on the inside, someone like Elish, keeping Silas away… he will find him, not just you, Reaver… him.” The frosted silence of the night brought goose flesh to my skin, though nothing was colder than the words he had next.

“Whether you like it or not Reaver, you were born for a purpose. A purpose that Greyson, Lycos, and Elish decided for you, only Elish is left now. If you decide to make my master’s efforts be in vain, I can’t predict how Elish will react.”

I stopped in my tracks before I slowly turned around. “Are you fucking threatening me?”

There was a sound of his boots landed behind me, scraping against the grey ash and rock. I saw his yellow eyes flash like that of a wild animals as they reflected against my night vision. A chimera in front of me and a chimera looking back.

“Elish has been planning this for years with your fathers; he has risked a lot for this. Like it or not Reaver, Silas is coming for you and Killian. You can either fight it, and have Elish as an ally, or run from it with your tail between your legs, and have Elish right with Silas hunting you. My master is not a man of compromise, and you must not know chimeras well if you think he would let you go that easily.”

My back stiffened and I felt a burn in my throat, though as I took a step towards him the cicaro only flinched for a moment, before gathering the balls he must’ve gotten back from Elish.

“I do what I want. I am not his pet, I am not his weapon. My life is my own,” I growled.

The pet kept his gaze with me. “Only greywasters are free, and you are no greywaster. You’re a chimera; you are Silas’s clone and now Elish’s ally. Whether you bear your teeth at it or not Reaver,
Silas is coming
. Silas-is-coming, Reaver. Why the fuck are you planning on running from him? The Reaver I remember doesn’t run from anything.”

I felt like a fucking kettle boiling over, though all I could do to escape this frustrating helplessness sweeping over me was grinding my teeth and clenching my fists. Inside though I just wanted to break the kid’s jaw for even daring to keep his gaze with mine.

“I am not running, I’m protecting Killian,” I said coldly.

“Then protect him and stay with Elish… my master is a genius, a god of strategy… Elish will not fail; do you think he would have me here if he didn’t believe you would protect us? He has faith in you and I do too, and Killian and Perish. If you run off with him now, you’ll be on the run forever, always in fear. If we kill Silas…”

If I kill Silas…

“It will all be over.” The words felt bitter on my tongue because they made sense and I didn’t like that. I didn’t want to find reason in his words; I wanted to protect my boyfriend in the only way I knew how: sheltering him from anything bad that was happening.

But now… danger was my own shadow and no matter how far I ran, it was always behind me, that was the facts.

My heart harbored a painful ache, one that poisoned my brain and twisted my thoughts and feelings. Where was my logic? It was pulling me in so many different directions. A part of me had to protect the immediate threat but the other side of me… the flame in my chest that maturity seemed to feed, told me the looming threat was greater.

What was best for him? Not me, not Elish, not Skyfall… what was best for Killian?

Because it had always been about him, since the day I killed his parents I had claimed him as my own.

It was all what was best for him.

“I never had a choice did I?” I whispered more to myself than Jade, and as I turned around I saw the cautious relief on Jade’s face.

“None of us did,” he answered soberly. “From Elish the oldest, to the younger ones, none of us have ever had a choice, Reaver.”

I walked past him, and held out my left arm to receive another cigarette when suddenly… there was a scream.

Not just a scream…

“DAD!?” the voice shrieked… though this wasn’t Caligula, this voice hadn’t fully matured yet. The voice belonged to a teenager and a young one at that.

Jade and I both whirled around and looked past the parking lot to see a much different scene, one that had changed in only several seconds.

The kreigers were now moving. All of them crawling out of the black gaping windows and shifting their boney bodies down the brick to reach the ground. The ones already wandering around were making their way to an off-the-wall street; beelining towards the noise like the cry was its own homing device, much like they had done when they had heard us.