The Gift (23 page)

One month after the
Rolling Stone
article came out, Abbie and Jerry released Maggie’s album to coincide with the
cover story in
Bluegrass Unlimited
. They published a glowing review of
the “Light in the Darkness” album, and Maggie’s album was selling well.  But
Abbie and Jerry noticed an interesting phenomenon. Maggie’s album was selling
well among country fans and even among some of the blues fans that had bought
the Bayou Blasters album. But some of the traditional bluegrass fans had been
put off by the publicity in
Rolling Stone
and they didn’t like the
progressive sound of Maggie’s band. Maggie even encountered some hostility when
she was interviewed on some of the bluegrass radio shows. She felt discouraged
by this, but Zak told her not to worry about it. It was important that she play
the kind of music that she liked and hopefully the rest of the bluegrass world
would come around eventually.

It turned out to be good advice. The sales of Maggie’s
album built slowly, but after a couple months they were more than respectable.
The country radio stations put her duet with Tucker Travis, “Truck Stop Girl”,
into heavy rotation and that motivated a lot of country fans to buy her record.
After the publicity from
Rolling Stone
faded a little, the bluegrass
stations started taking the album more seriously too. They were getting a lot
of requests to play cuts from the album, especially the songs that Maggie had
written, “Light in the Darkness” and “No One Would Have Known”.

Maggie started hearing from some of the other
progressive bluegrass artists who told her how much they liked her album. She
was especially gratified by this, it meant a lot to her to be accepted by the
musicians that she revered.

Abbie and Jerry responded to this by making sure Maggie
and her band were booked at the bluegrass festivals like Merlefest and Grey
Falcon that featured the more progressive bands. They started getting a lot of
interest in the band among the festival organizers who recognized them as a
hot, emerging band. The organizers weren’t put off by the publicity from the
Rolling
Stone
article, they welcomed the controversy and thought that the attention
might pull in some of the younger music fans. Maggie’s band was seen as being
young and hip, and was rapidly becoming the darling of college audiences, a
demographic that spent a lot of money buying records.

Abbie and Jerry started getting requests to book
Maggie’s band at venues in a lot of college towns. Maggie was especially
excited when the band was booked to play at Sanders Theater in Cambridge,
Massachusetts because that was a theater where she had seen a lot of her
favorite bands when she was in college. The theater was beautiful, it almost
looked like a church inside with its wooden pews and stained glass windows, and
the acoustics were superb.

The sales of the Bayou Blasters’ album “Blast Off!” were
on track to becoming the best-selling blues album in the history of Abbie and
Jerry’s company. But the sales of Maggie’s album kept building until it
surpassed the sales of Zak’s album. Because her album appealed to fans beyond
the traditional bluegrass audience, Maggie’s album was poised to become the
best-selling album in the history of bluegrass music.

Of course all this success came at a cost. The summer
went by in a blur of one-night stands. Zak and Maggie felt like they were
constantly on the road, going to either Bayou Blasters gigs or bluegrass gigs.
It was exhausting and stressful, and put a strain on their relationship. It was
especially difficult traveling with two young children. Maggie didn’t like
being apart from Gabriel and Isabel for too long, so they traveled with them on
the bus. Maggie had hired a girl from her college to help with the child care,
but the children were so young that she felt that they needed their mother most
of the time. Occasionally the children would stay with Zak’s mother or Maggie’s
parents for a few days. Maggie and Zak looked forward to having a brief respite
from their parental responsibilities but that didn’t occur too often.

After two months of touring, Maggie and Zak decided that
the children would be better off staying at home. The babies were getting very
cranky because of the irregular hours on the road and seemed to be constantly
sick with some virus or another. Maggie stayed home with them during the Bayou
Blasters gigs and Zak stayed home when Maggie and her band played the bluegrass
festivals.

Maggie found it difficult being separated from Zak and
her children. She started having severe sleep problems which only got worse
over time. Justin and Spencer started to worry about her especially when her
insomnia started to affect her performances. Maggie was occasionally forgetting
words to songs, even the ones that she had written.

One night when they were staying at yet another Holiday
Inn, Justin woke up in the middle of the night to hear Maggie crying out in her
sleep. He knocked on the door for a few minutes and she finally answered it
looking shaky and upset. He could tell that she was in the throes of a panic
attack.

“What’s the matter, sweetheart?” he asked.

Maggie threw her arms around him and sobbed on his
chest.

“I woke up and I didn’t have any idea where I was. I
didn’t know where Zak and the babies were. I didn’t know where you and Spencer
were.”

Justin put his arms around her and held her closely.

“It’s o.k. Maggie. We’re in Pennsylvania. Spencer and I
are right next door. Zak and the babies are home in Louisiana.”

Maggie continued to cry.

“Justin, please don’t leave me alone. I feel so
frightened.”

“It’s o.k., honey. I’ll stay here with you until you go
to sleep.”

 Justin led Maggie back over to the bed and lay down
beside her. He held her and stroked her hair. She started to relax and her
breathing slowed down, but as he tried to leave, she woke up and became upset
again. Finally, he told her that he would stay with her until the morning.

Maggie woke the next morning with Justin’s arms around
her. It took her a minute to remember how he had ended up in her bed. He woke
up a minute or two later, and asked her how she was doing.

“I’m fine now,” she said. “I’m sorry, I don’t know
what’s going on with me. I keep waking up in the middle of the night and I
never know where I am. It makes me feel incredibly panicky, especially because
I’m alone.”

“How long has this been going on for, Maggie?”

“Every night for a couple of weeks. I’ve started to
dread going to sleep.”

“You know Maggie, I’m always right next door. You can
always come and get me.”

“I know Justin, but I can’t always remember that when I
wake up in the middle of the night.”

Justin thought for a minute and suggested “Why don’t we
get adjoining rooms. You can leave the door open, and then if you have a
problem I will hear you and I can come and help you.”

Maggie started to cry. “I’m sorry to be a bother.”

“It’s o.k. Maggie,” Justin said. “We only have a couple
more weeks to go. We’ll get through this.”

Maggie hugged Justin and thanked him. She felt relieved
that she wouldn’t have to go through another night waking up completely
disoriented.

Later that day when they were checking into the next
hotel in New Jersey, Justin whispered to the hotel clerk that he and Maggie
wanted adjoining rooms that had a door between them. Spencer overheard him, but
didn’t say anything. After they took their luggage and instruments up to their
rooms, Spencer knocked on Maggie’s door. Maggie let him into her room and he
noticed that the door that went into Justin’s room was open. He glanced at it
and asked Maggie what was going on.

“I’ve been waking up every night feeling disoriented and
scared, Spencer. I’ve been having horrible panic attacks. Justin said I could
keep the door open so he could hear me if I have a problem.”

“I guess I could understand that,” he said. “We never
spend more than one night in any place. That was nice of Justin to volunteer to
help you. I’d be happy to help too, if you need me.”

“Thank you Spencer. You and Justin are such good friends
to me. I think I’m going to be happy once this tour is over and I can spend
every night in my bed at home. I miss Zak and the babies.”

Maggie started to cry a little. Spencer put his arms
around her and gave her a hug.

“Try to relax, Maggie. The tour will be over soon. I
know it’s stressful to travel like this for weeks on end. Next year, we should
make sure there are more breaks in the schedule.”

Justin heard Spencer talking to Maggie and he came into
the room. Justin and Spencer exchanged worried glances. Maggie seemed to be in
a fragile state of mind and she needed someone to take care of her. Since Zak
couldn’t be there, they would have to help her out for the next few weeks.

That night after the gig, Justin ordered room service so
that he and Maggie could have a late dinner and some wine before they went to
bed. Maggie did seem to fall asleep more easily this time, but she woke up
again at 3 am not knowing where she was. Justin heard her and came into her
room to comfort her. He put his arms around her and held her until she fell
asleep again. He didn’t want to disturb her by getting up and going back to his
bed, so he just stayed there and fell asleep with Maggie in his arms. The next
morning, he woke up and watched her while she slept. She looked so peaceful and
so beautiful. He knew that they couldn’t do this for too long, he would start
having feelings for Maggie that he couldn’t control.

Spencer knocked on their door around 9. When Justin answered
the door, he asked how Maggie was doing. Justin said that she had a much better
night. Maggie came to the door and hugged them both.

“Thanks guys for taking care of me. I feel a lot better
now that I’ve gotten some sleep.”

They noticed that Maggie’s performance was a lot better
that night. She didn’t forget any words and her mandolin breaks were more
inspiring. Jim and Carole told her that she looked a lot more rested and they
were glad that she was getting over her insomnia problem.

Justin and Spencer kept the secret of the solution to
Maggie’s sleep problems. It became routine for Justin to quietly ask for
adjoining rooms for him and Maggie. Frequently the hotel clerks would give him
a look as though they knew what was going on, but they never said anything.
After a few nights, Maggie and Justin didn’t even bother with sleeping in
separate beds, Justin would just join Maggie in her room and hold her until
they both fell asleep. If she woke up during the night, he would whisper in her
ear that they were in a hotel in such and such city, and then she would go
right back to sleep.

As the tour went on, the band members noticed that
Maggie relied on Justin more and more. She was tired of having to be strong
without Zak there to help her, so she began relinquishing control to Justin.
One night, Maggie woke up feeling more disoriented than she had in weeks. She
and Justin had drunk more wine than usual with their dinner and they were both
a little intoxicated. Justin heard her stir and reached over for Maggie to pull
her close to him. He was groggy and next thing he knew he was kissing her on
the lips. She moved even closer to him and he could feel every curve of her
warm body pressed up against him. Maggie started kissing him back and then he
couldn’t control himself any longer. He had known for a while that this was
getting to be a dangerous situation, he wanted her more and more every night.
He couldn’t bear to turn her away when she needed him. Her soft moans told him
that she needed him in a different way tonight and he couldn’t help but
respond. He pushed her nightgown up until it was around her waist and then
grabbed her by her wrists. He heard her gasp as he moved on top of her. He
kissed her until she parted her legs so that he could enter her. Even as he
made love to her, Justin knew that he and Maggie could never let this happen
again. He loved her and couldn’t bear to ruin her life. He knew that she would
never be happy without Zak.

The next morning, Justin woke up early and lay awake
thinking. After Maggie got up and went into the bathroom to take her shower,
Justin decided to call Zak.

“Zak, it’s Justin. Spencer and I are getting worried
about Maggie. She’s so stressed out from touring that she can’t sleep. Is there
any way, you can come join us for a couple of days? We think that she needs
you.”

Zak knew Justin well enough to know that he wouldn’t be
making this phone call unless there was a serious problem.

“I’ll ask my mother if she can take the kids for a few
days. I’ll try to fly and meet you at the next major city on your tour.”

“Thanks, Zak. I’m sure Maggie will be happy to know
you’re coming.”

When Maggie got out of the shower, Justin told her that
he had called Zak and that he would be coming to stay with her for a few days.
Maggie gave him a hug and thanked him. Later over breakfast, Justin told the
rest of the band that Zak would be joining them. Everyone was pleased for
Maggie. Spencer exchanged a look with Justin. Justin looked back innocently but
Spencer guessed that something had happened to precipitate Zak’s sudden visit.
Later that afternoon, after they checked into the next hotel on the tour,
Spencer noticed that Justin didn’t whisper his usual instructions about where
Maggie’s room should be located. Maggie and Justin were acting somewhat distant
from each other, so Spencer guessed that his suspicions were probably correct.
He hoped for Maggie’s sake that Zak would remain with them long enough to
finish out the tour. Then everyone could go home and return to their normal
lives.

Zak traveled with the band for the next week and then
went home again to take care of the children. The band was almost done with the
tour. They had two gigs left, the concert at Sanders Theater in Cambridge, Massachusetts on Friday night and the Grey Falcon Bluegrass Festival in New York State the next day. Although everyone liked performing, the constant traveling was
getting old, and they were all looking forward to going home and being with
their families for the next couple months.