THE GIFT (5 page)

The entire time he was present, Amanda would find herself jittery and a little less focused than usual. He had an effect on her like no one had since those high school days when she had been moony eyed at Dan. As always, any thoughts of her lost love made her feel a pang of sorrow that she suspected would never go away. However, she had held onto her love for him for too long and it was time to move on. He would always be in her heart, but there was room there now for someone else and she often wondered if that person was Jagger Remington, though it was entirely obvious that he was way out of her league.

It always amused her somehow to see him tapping away at his laptop for hours in her shop. He would sit there in his very expensive business suit and work away, often scowling at the screen in front of him and sometimes looking at her when he thought she wasn’t paying him any mind. It was maddening to have him so close and not be able to just sit and talk with him, though she hadn’t forgotten how odd the conversation had felt the first time. Perhaps it was just that she felt so self-conscious around him, but it hadn’t gone well from what she could tell.

Still, when his intense blue eyes were focused on her, she felt like a giddy school girl again. It was like having a crush on her teacher, except she had an inkling that it might not be so one sided as that. There was a reason why he came here so often. She might be inexperienced in the game of love, but she knew when a man was interested and Jagger definitely showed signs of it. It made her wonder why he never made a move on her. Perhaps he had his reasons, but she found herself anticipating that one day soon, he would do something to show her that he was interested.

“Amanda, the gentleman in the suit has asked to see the owner,” one of the servers told her as he breezed behind the counter to take dishes to be washed by kitchen staff. Amanda looked up at him for a moment and then over toward Jagger, the only man wearing a suit among the afternoon crowd. He was looking directly at her and smiled broadly when she looked his way. She stepped out from the counter where she had been changing out pastries and walked over to his table.

“Can I help you, sir?” she asked, mocking formality with him.

“Yes ma’am, you can. As you are aware, I come to this coffee shop pretty much daily and it has come to my attention that you have the best coffee near Central Park,” he told her.

“Why, thank you. We do what we can,” she replied, smiling at him and wondering where he was going with this. When he continued to just sit and smile at her, she raised an eyebrow in his direction. “Was that it?”

“Yes, that was it,” he replied, still smiling.

“Okay. Well, thank you for your patronage. I will get back to work making great coffee,” she replied, feeling disappointed and not really sure why. She began to step away from the table, but he caught her by the arm and stopped her.

“I really just wanted you to come over here,” he confided, searching her face for a reaction. Amanda tried to hide how it made her feel, suddenly unsure about this man and his somewhat odd ways. Her heart raced at the thought that he had finally at least taken a small step toward being more than just another customer in her coffee shop. She decided to go for it.

“It’s always a pleasure to have you at the shop,” she replied. The words themselves were innocuous, but the way she leaned in and locked eyes with his put a whole new meaning behind the words. Even with her darkened glasses, surely he could see the true meaning behind her comment. His smile said that he did. He merely nodded and let go of her hand, leaving behind an unexpected ache that had bolted through her nerve endings as his fingers touched her skin. By the time she reached the counter on the other side of the shop, she turned to find that he had packed up and gone, leaving her missing him in some strange little way she couldn’t deny.

Several days later, Amanda looked up to see Jagger through the large glass windows. She beamed as she caught sight of him as he hadn’t been in that day as he usually was. Today was the first day with her new contacts and she had been excited about how good they looked. Although her normal eye color was a very pale blue, she had gone with some special lenses that filtered out some of the light that often hurt her eyes. They gave her the appearance of having big, golden brown eyes. It was different, but she liked it and it covered up the weird looking dots where stitches had been.

It was hard to believe that a whole year had passed since her surgery. The doctor had only removed the stitches a couple of weeks ago and pronounced her a complete success. Of course, he cautioned, as always, proper care for her new vision and warned her that there was always a chance that the new corneas could play out in ten or twenty years, sending her back into the darkness while she awaited a new transplant. Amanda chose not to dwell on it, pouring herself into the shop and making travel plans in coordination with when her parents could watch over the shop. It became important for her to see as much of the world as possible now, just in case it disappeared again one day.

Her father had also helped her find a great little apartment not far from the shop. It was an old building, but in a safe area of up and coming lofts and luxury complexes. The one bedroom walk up was exactly what she needed with her busy schedule of working at the shop, taking some night culinary classes and getting in travel where she could. There wasn’t a lot of space, but there was enough for her to feel cozy in.

With her mother’s help, she had decorated it well and was completely in love with it. Best of all, it cut her walk to the shop by a third. The only thing that seemed to be missing from her life was love, as she just wasn’t ready to date yet. She had thought she might go out with the handsome Jagger Remington at some point, but all of these months had passed and they had achieved no more than a friendly repartee.

She had been disappointed when he hadn’t come in so she could show off her new look, but it now seemed like she would get that chance, after all. Everyone had already left for the day except her and she was closing up shop, but she would get him whatever he wanted. She watched as he pulled at the door, only to find it locked and rushed over to open it for him, letting him in and locking it behind him.

He stumbled a bit as he turned toward her. A hint of uneasiness shot through here as she realized that he had been drinking, quite a bit from the look of him and his inability to stand with any steadiness was suddenly apparent.

“Whoa there, now. Let’s get you seated somewhere,” she said, letting him lean on her shoulder as they ambled over to a nearby coach and eased him down on it. Pulling her arm free of his, she looked down on him lying there, wondering what was going on with him. She was caught off guard once again when he suddenly pulled her to him and kissed her passionately.

A jolt of fear mixed with excitement ran through her body as she struggled to pull herself free. She had longed for him to kiss her so many times, but not like this, not in a state where he wouldn’t remember it tomorrow. She managed to loosen his grip on her, pushing him back toward the couch as she regained her footing and stood looking down at him.

“Cassandra. I love you so much, Cassandra. I’m so sorry,” he mumbled. Then he closed his eyes, passing out there on the coffee shop sofa. Amanda was stunned. All this time she had thought he was really into her and it turned out he was hung up on whatever he had to apologize for with some other woman. She felt hurt, even though she knew she had no right to be.

They had never been anything but cordial unless you counted this drunken kiss. She sighed and went to the back to retrieve a blanket she kept in her office for when she was feeling chilled and brought it out to cover him up.

She let him sleep it off for a bit, reading in her office while he snoozed. When she finally heard him moving around, she returned to the front of the shop to find him sitting sideways on the sofa and looking confused about how and why he had gotten here. When she approached, he smiled weakly at her, still quite inebriated but seemingly glad to see her.

“It looks like someone overindulged a wee bit this evening,” she said as he continued to stare at her through bloodshot eyes. “I’ll call a cab to get you home safely.” She knew from previous conversations that he lived nearby and that she could just walk him home, but it was getting too late to be out on the streets, especially with him in his current condition.

“Thank you,” he responded, offering nothing more in the way of explanation. Amanda knew it was none of her business. She thought that it seemed very much unlike the man she had come to know, but she had to realize that she really didn’t know him all that well. Perhaps this was the real him and the other man that visited her shop was the one that she had only thought she was getting to know. As the cab pulled up to the curb, he turned to her, his eyes looking incredibly sad, “Will you please ride with me? You don’t have to stay, just ride with me.”

Amanda found it hard to say no as she climbed into the cab beside him and he gave the man his address. She realized it was only about seven blocks away, but she still felt better about putting him in a cab for the trip. She would just get the cab to backtrack and drop her off at her apartment rather than walk at this late hour.

During the cab ride home, she noticed that he kept looking over at her and then looking back at the floor. She assumed he was feeling ashamed and so pretended not to notice. Only moments later, they had arrived at his building. They said a brief goodbye as he paid for the rest of the cab ride to her place and headed into the expensive looking brownstone in which he lived. Amanda realized once again how close to one another they lived as the cab dropped her off only moments later. It explained why she was always seeing him in the park. He lived not much farther from it than she did.

She fell asleep with him still on her mind. The confusion of the kiss intermingled with his proclamations of love for another woman echoing in her head. Had he mistook her for the other woman in his drunken state? Who was Cassandra? Was she someone who had broken his heart and sent him skidding into a bottle of booze? Amanda was now filled with even more curiosity about the man she had become so enamored of. Tonight had made her second guess whether he was someone she should ever get involved with, but there was no denying that he fascinated her somehow.

She was surprised when he stepped into the shop the next morning looking none the worse for wear. He wore a simple dark blue polo that only served to make his gorgeous blue eyes even more sensational and a pair of khakis. It was a far cry from the suits he used to wear to the shop, but she had found that after coming here a while, he had begun to dress far more casually on most days. There were still days when he would arrive in a full blown suit, but she suspected that was only if he had to meet with clients somewhere. Amanda stepped to the back when he came in, not wanting to embarrass him about last night, but she found herself being summoned to the front at his request.

“Amanda, your favorite customer wants to see you,” Todd, her new employee, told her. He had only been here for a couple of weeks and had already picked up on the notable sexual tension between this mysterious man and his boss. “I think you should just molest him on one of the sofas and get it over with, honey. That is one incredibly delicious looking man.”

“Stop that,” Amanda laughed as she stepped through the double doors and walked over to Jagger’s usual corner with a fresh cup of coffee, sitting down in the chair beside his and sitting her drink on the table in front of them. She had purchased the large wingback chairs at an estate auction. They were comfortable and gave the shop a cozy, eclectic feel.

“Good morning, Amanda,” he said softly. He smiled, showing off his dimples.

“Good morning, Jagger,” she responded, making no mention of the prior evening’s events.

“You don’t have on your Roy Orbison glasses this morning. I like the new look. I can see your eyes now. They are a beautiful golden brown color,” he told her. She started to tell them that they were really blue and the contacts were brown, but decided just to accept the compliment and continue on with their conversation.

“Thank you. I appreciate it,” she said, smiling back at him confidently. The contacts were already having a positive effect on her in that she didn’t feel like the creepy blind girl hiding her Frankenstein eyes from the world. With the contacts, she was just a stereotypical brown eyed girl. Jagger had just confirmed that she was pulling off her new look quite nicely. She knew she would somehow miss the days when people fawned over the contrast between her pale eye color and her dark locks, but it was a small price to pay for normalcy.

“Listen, I’m really sorry last night. I don’t remember much between leaving the bar and the cab ride home, so I hope I wasn’t a huge pain in the ass,” she told her.

“No, no...You were just fine,” she lied. She was dying to ask about Cassandra, but decided to play it cool and not behave like a jealous rival for his affections.

“You are a very bad liar, Amanda,” he laughed.

“It’s no big deal, Jagger. I’m just glad you came here so I could help you get home in one piece,” she said.

“It was a bad night, the anniversary of the death of a friend. I’m afraid that I was trying to drown my sorrows in a bottle and I’m sorry that I dragged you into it,” he told her.

“Don’t worry about it, Jagger. I understand and there is no need to apologize to me. We’re just fine here and I’m sorry about your friend,” she said, reaching over to pat him gently on the hand. How odd it was that the anniversary of his loss coincided with her gain and she wondered for a brief moment if it was possible that one thing was connected to the other, but then dismissed it as just being too bizarre.

Well, I feel bad, just the same. Let me make it up to you. How about I take you out for a world class dinner on Saturday night? We will go anywhere you want to go,” he told her.

“Wow, that’s nice of you and I’d love to. I’ll let you pick the restaurant though. I’m hopelessly challenged when it comes to picking out where I want to eat,” she told him with a little laugh. Her heart raced with excitement as she considered how fantastic having dinner with him was going to be.

“It will be my pleasure,” he replied with a slow smile that melted her to the core.

“Okay, well I have to get back to work. I close up shop at six on Saturdays,” she told him. She didn’t want to leave, but thought she might seem too eager if she stayed. There was still the matter of Cassandra that lingered on her mind. Was she the friend? Or was it just pain intermingling one loss with another?

“I’ll be here when you are done on Saturday,” he replied.

“Sounds good,” she told him as she stood and walked back to the front counter. She wondered if he was watching her walk away and when she turned to glance back, she realized that he was. A vivid flush turned her face pink as she hastily looked away and busied herself with whatever she could find to avoid staring at him while he drank the rest of his coffee and worked on his laptop.

“Somebody is flustered,” Todd whispered as he moved in beside her to replace some pastries in the display case.

“Somebody is going to get fired if he doesn’t hush,” she laughed.

“Ooooh, girlfriend is feisty too. I love it,” he replied as he headed off to the kitchen with the now empty baking tray balanced haphazardly on one hand. Amanda couldn’t help but smile as she continued to work behind the counter. After a while, Jagger tossed her a little wave and left the shop. She waved back and watched as he disappeared from beyond the shop window to wherever he went when he was not there. It occurred to her that she didn’t even have a clue what he did for a living, though she assumed it was professional judging from the suits and his tether to the computer.