The Girl Before Eve (32 page)

The older lady who had held Lily’s hand hugged her tight, and Lily’s eyes welled with moisture once again. “See, sweetie, we made it…we made it.” Lily clung onto her and sobbed into her striped T-shirt, which was adorned with gold shimmering images of anchors and shells. Pulling away, the lady wiped Lily’s tears with her calloused thumbs. She had kind eyes and pinky-red hair. The fake rinsed colour that old ladies seemed to favour. “I’m Maud, by the way.”

“Thank you so much for everything, Maud. I can’t tell you what it meant to me to not feel alone through the night…I’m Lily.”

“Well, Lily, if you need a hug anytime soon, you be sure to come find me.” She patted Lily’s shoulder and turned back to fold her blanket.

♥♥♥

Several people made their way toward the outside of the hotel. Lily followed behind, scanning the area for any sign of Kyle or Mack.

The scene outside still resembled a war zone. Fallen trees, broken glass, crushed cars, and shattered windows were all that could be seen for many hundreds of metres. Paramedics and other people wearing bright fluorescent coats picked through piles of debris.

Lily’s next sight would remain etched on her brain for all eternity. She rounded the corner and saw a row of bodies with blankets covering all the way from just above their feet right up and over their faces. Her hand came to her mouth and her stomach lurched as nausea washed over her. People really were
dead
? She felt the colour drain from her cheeks.

Walking toward the macabre scene and shaking like a leaf, her breath caught and a convulsive sob burst forth from her chest. Poking out of one of the blankets was a tattooed left hand.

Kyle.

She screamed and trembled as tears over-spilled her eyes and she dropped to her knees. “No! Kyle…no. Oh please no.”

One of the paramedics dashed over to her and placed his arm around her shoulders. “Miss, you shouldn’t be out here. Come on, let’s get you back inside…come on now.” He helped her to her feet and walked her back into the restaurant as her legs shook and she wretched, her empty stomach aching with the spasms. After placing her in a chair, someone, she didn’t see who, handed her a steaming mug of tea. She could smell the sugar.

Someone squatted beside her. “Lily.” She lifted her head and looked into Mack’s distraught face. “Oh God, Lily, Kyle’s dead.” He sobbed.

Lily nodded. “I know…I can’t believe this has happened.” Tears escaped from her eyes once again. He removed the hot drink from her grasp, placed it down on a nearby table, and enveloped her in his arms. They both clung to each other and succumbed to their mutual grief.

Chapter Thirty-Seven

If I Lost You
(Travis Tritt)

August 2011

Lily arrived back in the UK four days after the devastating hurricane had almost taken her life and had succeeded in taking her friend’s. Adam picked her up from the airport and clung to her in the arrivals lounge whilst she sobbed into his chest. Her relief was immense. He held her up as her legs weakened, then grabbed her suitcase and helped her to his car. Once they were both seated, she glanced over to him. His head was back and his eyes were closed.

He gulped and opened his red-rimmed eyes. “I thought I’d lost you, Lil,” he croaked as he reached over and squeezed her hand. “I don’t know what I would’ve done.”

She forced a smile as she squeezed his hand back. “Shhh, it’s okay. I’m here. You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

“You’re so important to me, Lil. You do know that, don’t you? I can’t lose you, too. I can’t.”

“Stop it or you’ll make me cry again.” She sniffed.

“No, I mean it. I hope you know how much you mean to me… What your
friendship
means to me.” His eyes were intense as they bored into her. She desperately searched for something hidden in there. A tiny shred of hope that maybe something good would come of all this. That he had realised he loved her.

He inhaled deeply. “You’re my family, Lil…you’re my family. Me and you against the world.” Her heart sank.
Family
. “I’m so glad you’re back and that you’re okay.” Squeezing her hand one last time, he smiled and then turned to start the engine.

Once she was deposited back in her own home, he rushed around making tea and taking her case upstairs. He eventually worked off his nervous energy and sat at the opposite end of the sofa, holding his steaming mug.

She cleared her throat. “So…what have you been up to while I’ve been away?”

He scratched his chin. “Erm…well I went on a date but I don’t think it went too well.”

She frowned. “A date? Really? Who with? I thought you were giving up on the dating sites.”

“Yeah…yeah I have. I met her through Diane at work. She’s a friend of a friend.”

“Oh? What’s she like?” She feigned interest.

He huffed. “She’s really pretty, Lil. Blonde hair, green eyes, slim. She’s called Emily. She’s…really nice. I’m supposed to be seeing her again.”

She snorted. “Can’t have been that bad if she’s agreed to see you again.”

He pursed his lips and his forehead creased. “I suppose not.”

She leaned forward. “What made you feel it wasn’t a success last time?”

“I was…a little distracted.” He dropped his gaze.

“How come?”

“Well, you’d gone to Florida and the hurricane had hit. I couldn’t rest. I was really out of my mind with worry. I explained, and she said we should call the night off early so I could get home and wait for news. She offered to come with me, but I didn’t think it was fair, so we agreed to see each other tomorrow instead.”

“Oh…tomorrow? Well, that’s…promising then. You’ll be fine.” She did her best to encourage him.

“Yeah…yeah, probably. Just wasn’t that sure.”

“Look, I’m here and I’m fine. Normal services can now resume. Your wardrobe assistant is back.” She held up her hands and smiled breezily, but inside her stomach was knotted.

A stunning grin appeared on his face. “Lily, you’re the best.”

“And don’t you forget it.”

♥♥♥

Lily had yet another restless, nightmare-filled night following her arrival back in Scotland. Adam texted regularly, but she had assured him she was completely fine and that he shouldn’t worry.

It was the morning after his second date with Emily. Lily had showered and decided to make the most of the compassionate leave that had been thrust upon her by her superiors. She had spent a little time pottering in the garden and then had been to the local newsagents to buy the Sunday papers. After brewing a fresh pot of coffee, she had the newspapers spread across the kitchen table and was reading all about the further devastation caused by the hurricane in the south of the United States as it had continued to move on wreaking havoc whenever and wherever it hit land.

She paused when she heard
Bring Me to Life
by Evanescence on the radio. The song stirred emotions inside her and sent shivers down her spine as she absorbed the lyrics. The powerful love story told within the song was something she’d hoped would have happened to her and Adam. She longed for him to feel that way about her. To have his eyes opened in that way. When she felt her eyes stinging, she reached over and turned the radio off.

The doorbell rang, snapping her back to reality. She could see the tall shape through the glass panel and in daylight it was obvious who it was.

“Adders, to what do I owe this unexpected displeasure?” she teased as she opened the door.

He huffed. “Sod you, then. Last time I bring you a bloody cream cake.” He turned to walk away.

“Adders, I was kidding!” she shouted after him, feeling panicked.

He turned back to her with a wide grin on his face. He pointed at her. “Haaaa! Got you!”

“Shit head.”

“Oh shut up and get the kettle on.” He flicked her head as he walked past her.

“So mature, Adders, so mature.” She made her way through to the kitchen and washed out the cafetiére.

“So…do you want to hear about my date?” he asked enthusiastically.

Nope…not in the slightest
.
Can’t think of anything worse at the moment.
“Sure…how’d it go?”

“Weeeell, I’m seeing her again.”

She turned to face him and put a smile on her face. “Great…see…oh ye of little faith.”

He ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah, yeah it’s great. We had a lot to talk about, you know? No awkward silences. She flirted with me a lot and kept touching my leg… I think…I think she really
wants
me, Lil.”

Placing two mugs of freshly brewed coffee on the table, she said, “Why do you sound so surprised?”

He pursed his lips. “Oh, I don’t know. I think it’s been so long since I’ve fancied a woman it’s all a bit bizarre.”

Fiddling with the edge of the newspaper, she asked, “So…you do fancy her, eh?”

He laughed. “Lil, there’s nothing to
not
fancy. She’s sexy, she’s intelligent, and she laughs at my jokes.”

She snorted. “Well then I’d ditch her immediately. Finding your jokes funny is a good reason to avoid her, I’d say.” He threw a dishtowel at her. It landed on her head and he burst out laughing, almost falling backward off his chair. She pursed her lip. “Funny man.” She tried her best not to laugh.

“Yeah, well, she loved the shirt you picked out. I’ve never liked stripes. That’s why it still had the tags on, but she commented on it straight away. Said I looked very handsome.”

“Ha! The woman is clearly delusional. She thinks you’re handsome
and
laughs at your jokes. Poor, poor woman.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Yeah, well, just you wait until I get my own back.”

Her heart skipped a beat and her mouth dropped open. “Meaning what?” she asked, narrowing her eyes at him.

“Funnily enough I have access to the Internet and photos of you, too. I could always return the favour and set
you
up on a dating site, so be very,
very
careful, Lil.”

She threw the dishtowel back at him. “Don’t you bloody dare. It’s different for me.” Heat rose in her cheeks and she suddenly felt flustered.

He chuckled for a few moments. “Seriously though, Lil, you should date. In fact, remember Doug Jenkins from our Science Department?”

She pursed her lips. “Yesss?” she said cautiously.

“Weeeell, he always asks after you. He’s asked me for your number before, but I never gave him it because you were always overseas when he asked. Now you’re back for a while, you should go out. He’s a really nice guy. And I’m told he’s considered quite attractive.”

She scrunched her face up. “He’s…alright. But he’s not my type, Adders.”

He looked frustrated. “Why won’t you allow yourself to be happy, Lily? And who the hell
is
your type? Does the thing even exist? Or is he some kind of mythical fucking creature? Coz I’ll be damned if I can tell!”

Feeling insulted by his comment she folded her arms over her chest, the heat rising in her cheeks again. “That’s a lot of questions, Adders. Not really necessary. And of course he exists…somewhere…but I’m not going to dive into a relationship with someone I don’t fancy just because I’m lonely.” She folded her arms over her chest.

“And what? You think that’s what I’m doing?” Anger flashed across his features and his cheeks coloured.

She sighed. “Of course not, you pratt. I didn’t say that, did I? I just want to find my
own
man. When
I’m
ready.”

“Oh? But you couldn’t leave
me
to do that?”

“What? Find your own man?” She stifled a giggle.

He pulled a face at her. “Funny. Come on, Lil. Why were you so hell bent on setting me up when you won’t accept the same help? You’ve pretty much just admitted that you’re lonely. So what’s the problem?”

“For fuck’s sake, it’s like the Spanish Inquisition. Can we just change the subject?” she snapped.

After an uncomfortable silence, he asked. “So do I tell Doug
no
then?”

“You do.”

Chapter Thirty-Eight

I Can’t Make You Love Me
(Bonnie Raitt)

September 2011

Being back in the UK was a strain. This permanent change did not sit well with Lily. Okay, so she was a little traumatised from the situation she had found herself in while she was in Florida, but what do they say? You have to get straight back on the horse. Unfortunately, that horse had been allocated a new rider. Her bosses just didn’t feel she could cope with being out there again. Who were
they
to make such a life changing decision for her without consultation?

The only marginally good thing was that she got to spend more time with Adam. Sadly, that was a double-edged sword that might just finish her off better than the hurricane’s attempts. She was tired of setting him up and helping him get ready for dates, emotionally drained in fact. Surely, he was capable of finding his own woman? She had started this whole thing off with the best intentions, but as always, her intentions had backfired.

This latest woman, however, was a tad different. She was, to all intents and purposes,
perfect
for him. Blonde (just his type), pretty (from the photo on his phone that he had shown her), intelligent (ran a business training school), and slim. This was his
third
date with her. Yes.
Third.
He was, as ever, nervous as hell, he told her on the phone. He had begged Lily to come over and help him get ready. Tonight, it was the last thing she wanted to do. He was a grown man for goodness sake.

She finished off the last dregs of her cold coffee and climbed into the shower. Having been for a jog to try and clear her head, the last thing she needed was to go around to Adam’s stinking and give him yet another reason not to love her. No, this was it. This was the last time. She was thirty-one years old.

Time to let go.

She let the hot water cascade over her body and face as the tears came. She had spent so much of her life in love with this man. This wonderful, protective, handsome, sensitive, caring man. But she had to let go now. She had suffered in silence for far too long. Never having the right opportunity to tell him how she felt. Not that it would make any difference. She would always be Lil—the best friend. Family. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride.