The Girl Before Eve (33 page)

Enough was enough.

Solemnly, she dressed in her favourite jeans and sweater. Applied a little makeup and did her best to tame her wild brunette curls. With a sigh, she climbed into the car and headed for Adam’s house. The bare chested man opened the door before she had a chance to knock.

She stifled a gasp. His body never ceased to affect her. “Someone’s eager.” She tried to smile.

“Oh God, Lil, thank goodness you’re here. I’m a wreck!” He panted as he stepped by to let her in. “I’ve tried on five different shirts and three different pairs of trousers.” He ran his hand through his luscious, thick dark hair.

Her chest ached.

She forced a smile. “Good grief, you’re such a girl, Adders.”

“I am…I am, aren’t I? Oh shit, Lil. She could be
the one
and I’m acting like a teenage fucking girl.” He paced the room.

The one?
“Look just calm down, okay? So she’s perfect…but so are you.” Lily bit her lip.

“Huh? Oh yeah, I’m perfect alright. I’m sweating like a pig, I have emotional baggage, and I crumble under pressure.
Perfect!
” He threw his hands up, clearly exasperated.

Sighing and rolling her eyes as she always did, she went over to the wardrobe door where all the shirts were waiting like washing hung untidily out to dry.

“This is your third date, Adders. You haven’t put her off yet, so there’s no reason you will now. Right, where are you going?”

“I’m taking her to Bella Roma. It’s quite a nice place but not exactly posh as such.” Lily had only been once with a date. It
was
rather lovely. She remembered the owner was a sweet Italian man called Arlo.

“Okay. You won’t need a tie and you can wear jeans. These are the ones that make your backside look…I mean…erm…that…erm…these are the best ones.” Stumbling over her words as her cheeks heated at her almost-slip-up, she held them out to him.

He scrunched his face and then shook his head. “Okay…okay…shirt?” He ragged his joggers off and stood there in just his boxers. She tried to avert her eyes. But God, he really
was
perfect. In every possible way. She gulped as she felt the sting in her eyes. She would have to tell him soon. Tell him that she could no longer do this. He was on his own. He had overcome his grief with her help, but he had to go it alone now. She bit the inside of her lip. “Lil? You okay?” She glanced up at the beautiful, half naked man who now looked very concerned and just nodded, unable to form words.

She breathed in a long, calming breath. “Right…shirt. Well, personally I’ve always liked the pale blue one with the button down collar. It’s…you look…it makes you look…a little less repugnant.” She teased in the way she always had but didn’t really feel the joke.

“Gee thanks, Lil. With friends like you…” He grabbed the shirt and slipped it on his muscular torso. His sculpted back muscles flexing as he moved. She swallowed hard again and turned away.

“Okay…will I do?” He turned around on the spot in his bedroom. She couldn’t help but smile. He looked stunning. This Emily woman would fall for him tonight, if she hadn’t already, and that would be it. The end. Taking a deep breath she stood before him and put her hands on his arms.

“Adders, she would be crazy not to fall head over heels in love with you right then and there.” Her voice was almost a whisper. He locked his gaze on hers and unreadable emotions flashed across his face. She dropped her arms still looking into his eyes, willing him to see the truth. But instead he shook his head as if to rid himself of some confusion or something.

He cleared his throat and said, “Awww, thanks, Lil. You’re such a…wonderful friend.”

She bit down harder on the inside of her lip. “And don’t you forget it.” Repeating her well-used phrase, she punched him lightly on the arm. She went back over to the bed and sat down.

He paced again. “I’m scared shitless though. Tonight might be…you know…
the
night.” He chewed on his thumb. “She’s made it very clear that she wants me. But…it’s been so long, you know?”

Her heart sank. The last shred of hope left her body. Once he made love to Emily that was it. No going back. She wouldn’t let him go and who could blame her.

Finding a little courage from somewhere, Lily took a deep breath. “Look, Adders…I need to tell you something… I may struggle to get the words out, so just let me speak, okay?”

He sat beside her, a look of concern on his face once again. “Sure…anything…what’s up, Lil? Are you…are you alright?”

“I’m…yes I’m fine…it’s just that… I can’t do this anymore…this…this—” Adam’s phone interrupted them.

He glanced at the caller ID. “Oh God, it’s Emily. What if she’s cancelling? I should take this.” He looked apologetic but Lily just smiled and nodded. “Hey, Emily…how are you?... Yes…ahuh… oh right…that’s fine…no problems… I’m looking forward to seeing you again, too.” Lily stood. Feeling that the moment had passed, she walked toward the door. “One sec, Emily… Lily? Lily where’re you going?”

She turned and smiled at him as breezily as she could. “Don’t worry…we’ll talk later. Have fun tonight…and…good luck, eh? Let’s hope she’s
the one
.” She turned and walked down the stairs as she heard Adam continue his enthusiastic conversation.

By the time she reached the car, Lily’s tears were relentless and she felt like someone had reached in and pulled out the very heart of her. Well, what was left of it anyway. There had been no closure like she’d hoped. But she had to make her own now. She
had
to let go. Finally. He would
never
love her back. Not in that way. Not in the way he had loved Eve. Not that she wanted to replace her friend in his affections. No, she just wanted him to love her in a way that wasn’t
just
friendship. She took a deep breath and opened the car door. She wiped the tears from her eyes and stood for a moment with her head hung down, trying to compose her emotions and willing herself not to look back. She
couldn’t
look back. She would just get into the car and go home, drawing a line under everything. He would get the message eventually.

♥♥♥

Adam finished his call to Emily. The plans had changed. She had asked if she could meet him at the restaurant instead. That was fine. He was ready now, thanks to Lily.
Oh God Lil, she had wanted to talk!
He rushed to the window and looked down into the street. Lily stood by her car looking at the ground and leaning on the open door. Her shoulders were shuddering. What was she laughing at? She wiped her eyes. No, she wasn’t laughing. She was crying about something. He was about to go after her when without looking back she climbed into her car and drove away.

Lily never cried. Well not often. She was a tough cookie. Checking his watch, he realised he would have to set off and wouldn’t have a chance to speak to her until probably tomorrow. After all, he would no doubt be back too late tonight if he came home at all.

He sat on his bed to pull his suede boots on. The conversation played over in his mind along with the images of her face. Her expression had been…lost…resigned even. But about what? It didn’t make any sense.
What
could she not do anymore? Visit and help him pick out clothes? She’d always done that. Boost his confidence? She’d always done that. Help him find a woman to share his life with? It had been her idea…

He thought back through what had been said again, trying to decipher the clues, if there were any.
She sounds perfect…but so are you…she would be crazy not to fall in love with you right then and there…
He remembered back to other conversations they had shared. The look on her face when he had told her he was getting married to Eve; the way she always came running no matter what; that moment all those years ago when they had been playing tennis as teenagers. That had always stuck in his mind. He swallowed hard and rubbed his hands over his face.

Running his hands through his hair, he grabbed his jacket and keys and made his way down to the car.

Chapter Thirty-Nine

All I Want Is You
(U2)

Emily was waiting outside the restaurant when he arrived. She smiled widely as he approached her. She really was attractive. Shoulder length blonde hair, green eyes, and a very nice figure. She was wearing a fitted black dress and grey jacket.
Very sophisticated.

Adam kissed her on the cheek as they greeted each other. “It’s good to see you again, Emily.”

“Lovely to see you too, Adam. Although, it only feels like yesterday with all the phone calls.” There had been several after each date since Diane, head of Science, had passed Emily’s number on to him. “I don’t know about you but I’m starving.” She giggled.

“Me too…I could eat a horse.”

Smiling and leaning into him, Emily whispered. “Um…I don’t think they serve it here, but I know they do a very good steak.”

He held the door open for her. “Awww…that’ll have to do then.” He chuckled.

The Maître d’ showed them to a table for two by the window, and as soon as they were seated. a waiter brought a wine menu over and handed it to Adam.

“Any preferences?” he asked as he began to peruse the list of reds, whites, and roses available.

“Not really. You choose.”’

“Well I’m driving, so I’ll be sticking to soft drinks…you choose.”

“Oh, come on, one glass won’t hurt…or are you trying to get me drunk?” A sultry smile played on her lips.

His jaw clenched. “I don’t drink and drive…at all…ever.”

She gulped and her cheeks coloured. “Oh gosh, of course…I’m so sorry.”

He closed his eyes and gathered himself. Opening them, he smiled. “No, it’s…it’s fine. What should I order?”

Her cheeks were crimson as she replied, “Pinot Noir?”

“Sure thing.”

He waved over the waiter and ordered the wine. Nodding his head, the Italian gentleman commented that it was an excellent choice and made off to fulfil the request.

After a few quiet minutes, Emily said, “Gosh everything sounds so delicious, Adam. What do you like the sound of?”

He was staring out the window, totally distracted by a woman with long, dark curly hair as she walked past with her head down, rummaging in her bag. She lifted her head just as she was parallel with the window. “Sorry? Oh erm… I think I’ll have the steak.” He stared blankly down at his menu, not really paying attention to the text.

“Are you having a starter? Maybe we could share one?” Emily asked

He snapped his head up. “Erm…sharing…yes…so what do you fancy?”

Looking at him from under her lashes, she smiled. “Other than you?” she asked seductively.

“Sorry? Oh…yes…ahem.” He felt the heat rise in his cheeks. The waiter came to take their orders. When he had left them alone again, Adam cleared his throat. “So what have you been up to since I saw you last?” He took a sip of his sparkling water.

“Working mainly. I signed a big contract this week so this is a bit of a celebration for me. I like getting what I want.” She kept her eyes locked on his.

He peered at her over his water glass. “And what is it that you want next, Emily?”

“I think maybe you know the answer to that.” Her voice was a breathy whisper.

He curled one side of his mouth up, keeping his eyes focused on her. “Oh, I don’t know. Tell me anyway.”

Leaning forward and touching his hand, she answered, “You.”

♥♥♥

Looking at the clock through the fog of her tears, Lily realised it was almost one a.m. She had cried non-stop since arriving home from Adam’s. Letting go was so very hard. She had put her CD of
Adam songs
into the player and allowed herself to look back through all her old photo albums, telling herself this was the last time. They would go into storage tomorrow with some of her other belongings. They would remain there indefinitely. Then she would say goodbye to Jedburgh and head off to London. The offer of the news anchor’s position had been a shock. She hadn’t told Adam. Not yet. But she would take the job. She had to. She needed distance again. Things were always easier with distance. Not easy. But
easier
.

Her heart ached as she looked back through the box of wonderful memories. The difficult memories, too, like Adam’s wedding. He had adored Eve so very much. But who wouldn’t? She was a beautiful person. Lily was sure that deep down Eve knew about her feelings for Adam. There had been many knowing looks over the years. But Eve had never treated her differently. She had never gloated or shunned her. She had included her in their lives as if she knew how much being apart from Adam would hurt her. Eve knew she was no threat because Adam worshipped his wife. They’d had the kind of love that everyone aspires to. That
Lily
aspired to.

Eve was cruelly ripped from Adam, too young, by the idiot who thought driving whilst under the influence of alcohol was acceptable and safe. Lily would never forgive that foolish man who had caused her best friend so much pain and heartache. But now was the time to just admit defeat. She was young enough to meet a nice man and have children. Surely, she could love someone else now? Surely?

Just as the melancholia of U2’s
All I Want Is You
washed over her and overtook her senses, she gathered all the photos back up into the box and closed the lid on her memories for the very last time. Wiping her eyes once more, she switched off the lamp and took her wine glass and empty bottle into the kitchen, letting the song resonate through her. The CD would have to go, too.

Suddenly, there was banging on the front door that made her jump. She pulled her robe tightly around her and gingerly walked to the front door to see if she could tell who it was. Stopping a few steps away, she squinted to try to make out the tall figure. The rain was coming down in torrents, which made the obscured glass panel in the centre even more opaque.

“Hello? Who is it?” she shouted as calmly as she could.

“Lil, it’s me, Adam.” He sounded out of breath.

“Adam? What the hell? It’s gone midnight.” She began to walk toward the door again.