The Girl by the Thames (22 page)
Read The Girl by the Thames Online
Authors: Peter Boland
A small, frosted glass window in the wall to her left slid open. Beyond it sat a small efficient-looking woman in a tiny office, crammed full of paperwork.
“Can I help you?” she asked. Tanya approached her at a cautious walking pace. “Can I help you?” the woman said again.
“Er, I’m not sure. I want to do a course,” Tanya said.
“Okay, what sort of course?”
Tanya couldn’t think and looked at her shoes. “I don’t know.”
“Perfectly fine,” said the lady. “If you head up the stairs, first room on the right marked Admissions, there’s an advisor who can help you choose something.”
“Really?”
“Oh, yes. He’ll help you make the right decision. Just head on up the stairs. I’ll call him and say that you’re on your way.”
“Thank you,” Tanya said, backing away from the woman. “Just up here?” she asked.
“Yes, just up the stairs. Good luck.”
Tanya smiled and climbed the generous concrete steps to the next floor. So far, so good. The room was easy to find and just as she opened the door another girl came out with her mother talking excitedly. She was clutching a handful of glossy brochures.
“Oh, excuse me,” said the girl. Tanya stepped back to let the two of them through. They smiled their thanks and disappeared into the hallway.
The room was large and cluttered with piles of literature. A middle-aged man with glasses perched on the end of his nose and thinning hair beckoned Tanya over. She sat down in front of his desk which was equally untidy. She smiled nervously at him.
“What course?” he said.
“Sorry?”
“What course are you interested in?” he replied, turning away from her while he tapped something into his computer.
“Er, I don’t know…”
“Oh, another one who doesn’t know.”
Tanya’s smiled disappeared. “I was told I could get help about courses and stuff.”
“Well, yes, but you need to give me something to work with. What do you want to do?”
“I don’t know. Something.”
“Something? What are your interests?”
“I’d like to work with whales, if I could. You know, in the wild.”
The way he looked at Tanya made her feel like he didn’t believe her, or like she was winding him up. She felt small and naive.
“Really, I do.” Tanya said, trying to sound as genuine as she could.
“Very well. Then you’d probably be best to go for a degree in Marine Biology. I’m afraid we don’t do that here. However, if you tell me your A-level results I could look on the computer and find universities where it’s offered. So what A-level grades did you get?”
“Er, I haven’t got A-levels.”
“Oh, okay, well, not to worry. But you’ll need A-levels before you can do a degree. You can do those here. Let me see which A-level subjects you’ll need for Marine Biology.”
Tanya nodded nervously while he rapidly clicked and pushed the mouse around the desk. She swallowed so hard it was audible.
“Ah, here we are. Generally, most universities are looking for A or B passes in Biology, Mathematics and Chemistry, but obviously this varies from place to place. Would you like me to see if we have any vacancies on those courses?”
Tanya gulped and nodded. The man started punching information in the computer. Her head swam and she wanted to leave this place. She didn’t belong here but she really wanted to do something with her life. Tanya clenched her jaws and forced herself to stay put.
“Good, here we are. Now before I take your name and details, tell me what passes you got in your GCSEs.”
Tanya didn’t reply. She smiled with one side of her mouth and tried to think of a bullshit answer, but none came. The man stared at her awaiting a reply. Eventually she spoke in a quiet voice:
“I don’t have any GCSEs.”
“No GCSEs,” he said, rather too loudly for Tanya’s liking. Her cheeks went hot. He sighed and took off his glasses, folded them and used them to point at her. “My dear, you can’t do A-levels without GCSEs.”
“Why not?”
“Well, you have to reach a certain standard of education before you can move onto further education, and once you’ve achieved that, you can move on to higher education i.e. university, and without that you can’t do Marine Biology.”
“So, I can’t work with whales then?”
“She wants to work with whales,” he said quietly to himself. “My girl, you need to go back to school and get your GCSEs first, which will allow you to do A-levels. But I doubt if you’d reach A-level standard if you failed your GCSEs.”
His words were sandpaper against Tanya’s skin. The blood in her body rushed to her head. She could feel it throbbing beneath her skull. Humiliation swiftly turned to rage.
“I didn’t fail my GSCEs,” she said standing up slowly and leaning over the desk, “I was expelled. Know why?”
His eyes widened and he leant back in his chair so he was out of range of Tanya’s fists which were now planted on the desk.
“I stabbed a teacher because he disrespected me, just like you’re doing now.”
She hadn’t really attacked a teacher. Tanya and Lena both got expelled for being drunk. She just wanted to shit him up and it worked. He looked terrified.
“Take your courses and shove ‘em up your ass.” Tanya turned and stamped out, slamming the door behind her. It wasn’t so much that she felt humiliated by the condescending prick, it was because she wanted to better herself but the way was closed. It was always closed for people like her, and she’d been stupid enough to believe it’d be open. This was all her making and there was no-one else to blame, which made it worse. The future now looked clear. She’d end up like her dad, a useless scrounging drunken bum. No wonder her mum had wanted to get away.
Tanya didn’t know whether to cry or start a fight with someone as she came down the stairs towards the entrance. She tried not to catch the eye of the lady on reception. Luckily she was busy with someone else. As Tanya pushed the door open to leave she nearly knocked over a boy coming the other way. She mumbled sorry and pushed past him.
“Tanya?” he said. “What are you doing here?”
She spun around, not recognising his voice. He clearly knew her, judging by the happy grin on his face. It soon vanished when he saw the mask of hatred Tanya wore.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
He was tall with a kind face and intelligent eyes. He was definitely familiar, but Tanya couldn’t place where she knew him.
“It’s me. Martin. I bought you and your friend some drink one night, from the all-night garage.”
After several seconds, her mind clicked and the memory of that booze-soaked night came back to her. Tanya managed a brief miniature smile. “Oh, yes, I remember. You all right?”
“Yeah, good. Still here, studying away. What about you, are you enrolling?”
“Not a chance. I’m too dumb.”
“Really? I doubt it. What did they say?”
“You don’t want to hear.” Tanya turned to walk away. She wasn’t in the mood to recount her ritual humiliation at the hands of some nerdy old teacher.
“Wait, I do.”
“It’s not important. Education doesn’t happen for people like me. See you around.” Tanya stepped out onto the pavement and walked up the high street feeling sorry for herself. A few seconds later Martin was walking beside her.
“What do you mean
it doesn’t happen for people like you
?” he asked, but Tanya kept walking.
“It’s fine,” she said.
He continued to follow, badgering her with different questions until finally Tanya had enough. She stopped abruptly and he nearly crashed into the back of her. She turned to face him. “Look will you fuck off and leave me alone.”
Martin looked shocked and hurt. “Gosh, I’m sorry, I just thought I might be able to help, that’s all.”
“You can’t help me, okay. I’m a thick bitch from a council estate with no GSCEs, and no A-levels and no future. Tanya stormed off, shouting behind her. “Why are people always trying to help me? Is it cos you feel sorry for me or something?”
Martin ran after her. “I don’t feel sorry for you and you’re not thick.”
“Oh yes I am. Y’know why? Because I was stupid enough to think I could do something apart from working in a supermarket.”
“What would you like to do?”
“I’m not telling you. I’ve already been made to look a fool.”
“Tell me.”
“Piss off.”
“Why won’t you tell me?”
“Piss. Off.” Tanya spat out the words with acid venom. Martin flinched as each one hit him like a bullet. He took a step back.
“Are you scared of what I’ll think?”
“Scared. I’m not scared.”
“Well then, tell me.”
Tanya looked Martin in the eye, gauging if he was going to make fun of her, or if he just wanted to get off with her. He didn’t seem the type who’d be very good at either.
“I want to work with whales.”
“And what did they say?”
“That I needed to do a degree in Marine Biology and that I need A-levels and GCSEs, and I haven’t got either, so it ain’t going to happen.”
“That’s not true.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, if you want to work with whales why don’t you just do it. Volunteer for a charity, get some experience that way.”
“That’s bullshit. They’d make me fill in forms and that.”
“Well, just lie. I’ve got a mate who works on an archaeological dig as a volunteer. He knows nothing about archeology. He just fancied having a go. Most of the time these places are happy for the extra help.”
“Get lost.”
“It’s true. Have a go. Blag your way in. You’re pretty good at blagging booze. I bet you could blag a job no problem.”
“Yeah, but that’s booze,” said Tanya, kicking at a hard glob of chewing gum stuck to the pavement. She was making excuses and deep down she knew he was right. Tanya could bulldoze through any obstacle if she put her mind to it. She’d got past police, gangs and riots to get that humpback out to sea. Could she use it to get a job as a volunteer? It never crossed her mind before. Probably because she’d never wanted to work before. And the idea of working for free was from another planet.
“Thing is Tanya, you don’t always need education to get what you want. In college they’re just going to give you a load of books to read. There’s nothing stopping you from reading them yourself. Get them out of the library, and there’s tons of stuff online. Research, papers – it’s there and it’s free. Get clued up, then you’ll know what you’re talking about. If you really want it, you can make it happen. It might take a while, that’s all.”
No words found their way out of Tanya’s mouth. Her mind seemed to be rearranging and shifting. New pathways in her brain were firing, making her dizzy with excitement. It was like looking at herself from another angle, like those people who have out of body experiences. The idea was immense. Could Tanya use all that resourcefulness she thought was only good for getting beer, for something useful? Why not. She literally had nothing to lose.
Martin took a deep breath, taking her silence as a sort of rebuff. “Okay, I’ve talked too much, I better go,” he said. “Nice seeing you again. Hope you get it sorted.”
He bumbled off down the road, hands in pockets making his shoulders hunch over as if he were cold.
“Martin,” Tanya called after him. “Can we talk some more, you know, about that stuff you were saying?”
“Er, yeah, sure.”
“I mean, if you’ve got the time.”
“Yeah, course, I’m a student, remember. Do you fancy a beer?”
“Actually, could we get coffee? I’m trying to cut down.”
“Sure, I’d love a coffee,” he said, coming back.
“One condition,” Tanya replied. “I’m paying this time.”
Inspired by a true story.
In 2006, a whale really did swim up the Thames, past Big Ben and the Houses of Parliament, all the way up to Chelsea. It wasn’t a humpback, but a northern bottlenose whale. I was both fascinated and horrified to see this majestic creature struggling in the filthy water of our capital city, while the public just stared at it like it was some sort of freak show. The poor thing looked hopelessly lost and out of place. Volunteers struggled day and night to keep the whale calm and alive. Eventually they lifted the whale onto a barge in an attempt to transport it back out to sea. Sadly, the whale never made it and passed away during the journey.
A note from me, the author.
I’m an independent author. That means I get up at 6am to write for an hour before getting my kids up and taking them to school. Then I go to my day job. When I come home, I play with my kids, put them to bed and start writing again. The next day, I repeat the whole process all over again. Independent authors don’t have it easy. We have day jobs to keep down and kids to bring up. But when someone posts a review online, it makes it all worthwhile. If you enjoyed The Girl by the Thames, I would be hugely grateful if you told others about it by posting a review. Thank you in advance.
Get in touch at:
facebook.com/TheGirlbytheThames
People I need to thank.
Firstly, a massive thanks to Markus Enderle at the Whalesong Project who patiently answered all my dumb questions about humpback whales, and gave me the idea for using female whalesong to lure the young whale out to sea – yes, this is a real technique. I’d also like to say thanks to my wife Sha whose judgement, writing advice and help with editing is always invaluable. And a big thanks to Simon Tucker for his amazing cover design.
Other books by Peter Boland include teen sci-fi series:
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