The Girl Who Wrote in Silk (14 page)

Was
it
inevitable?

No. Of course not. Her dad had no business putting these doubts in her head.

And then she remembered the pink toilets. He’d probably known exactly what he was doing when he changed the order, and she sure as hell no longer believed he had been trying to help. He’d only been throwing up roadblocks to make her back down on her own. And when she didn’t, it pissed him off enough to up his game.

She loved her father, but this ruthless business side of him was more than she could take.

Without another word to Lacey, Inara stormed back inside and headed straight for her cell phone, intending to call her father and give him a piece of her mind.

But before the call connected she stopped and clicked her phone off.

No, over the phone would have no effect on him. She needed to meet with him in person, like the business professional she was, and force him to see her vision. If he didn’t come to believe in this project as much as she did, he would withdraw his funding and leave her without any options.

On her way to pack a bag, she glanced at the black storage boxes on the kitchen table. Inside one of them was the embroidered sleeve with a sad tale that had something to do with her family. If only she knew what.

This would also be the perfect time to dig further into what might have happened on the
Prince
of
the
Pacific
. Yes, earlier than expected, she was headed for Seattle.

Thursday, March 4, 1886

Port Townsend, Washington Territory

“She was family?” Joseph’s voice cut into her thoughts.

Mei Lien nodded, knowing to whom he referred, though she kept her eyes on the water. “My grandmother.”

“What happened, Mei Lien? Will you tell me?”

She knew he wasn’t asking about what happened to Grandmother, but to all of them. And, though she thought of refusing him, the words started spilling out like they’d been pent up behind a dam.

“It was early,” she began. “So early the sun had not yet risen when I was awakened by the sound of shouting. I wasn’t concerned since such noises were common at night, what with the saloons and brothels just a block away.”

She closed her eyes as the memories washed over her and described what happened for Joseph as best as she could. “I knew they were there to drive us out just like they’d done to the Chinese people in Tacoma last November.”

“My sister wrote to me about what happened in Tacoma,” Joseph said, startling Mei Lien. He had his legs stretched out in front of him and was leaning on one arm. The pose appeared casual but the fist resting on his lap was clenched. “She lives there. Such a nasty business that was, what with the beatings and everything burned to ashes.”

Mei Lien drew her legs up, rested her chin on her knees, and watched water drip from a branch as she talked. “Because we’d heard stories from people driven out of Tacoma, we knew to be scared that morning. But we weren’t as scared as we should have been.”

She continued the story, telling him everything that had happened that morning and leaving nothing out. Occasionally Joseph would set his hand on hers for comfort, or grumble in disgust at the things he heard, but she didn’t stop. Now that she was telling him, she couldn’t stop until he knew everything.

“What was the name of the ship?” Joseph interrupted.

She’d never forget the name; it was so burned into her memory. “The
Prince
of
the
Pacific
. Why?”

Joseph’s face reddened until he was nearly purple. His chest rose and fell rapidly, and then, all at once, he was on his feet in front of her. “The
Prince
of
the
Pacific
is Campbell’s ship. No wonder you’re afraid of him.” Suddenly he grabbed her and pulled her up and against his chest, where she could hear his heart pounding. “Oh, Mei Lien.” He drew in a long, slow breath, and then quietly he asked, “What did that bastard do to you?”

She didn’t answer right away, so overcome was she at the sensation of being held against his body, safely wrapped in his arms.

“Mei Lien?”

Taking a deep breath, she stepped away from him to think clearly and finish her story. Back on the ground with her legs curled to the side, she continued—and this time Joseph didn’t interrupt until the story was finished. “And then I woke up in your cabin.”

“I wish you would have thrown him overboard.”

Mei Lien blinked. She’d been so caught up in her story that she hadn’t noticed Joseph pacing in front of her, fury coming from him so ferociously that she imagined she could see it fill the space under their tree with red heat. “Joseph?”

He stopped to face her with his fists clenched at his sides. “I can’t believe I’ve lived all these years next door to a man capable of such cruelty. Mei Lien, you must believe me. If I had known what he would do, I would have stopped him. I should have stopped him.”

She got to her feet again and grabbed his hands, holding tight. “You did not know, Joseph. I don’t blame you.”

He blew out a breath and freed one hand to cup it behind her head, bringing her forehead gently against his own. “I’m sorry, Mei Lien. So sorry.”

She closed her eyes and let herself enjoy the feeling of Joseph holding her, caring for her.

Joseph didn’t speak for a long time, though the emotions flitting across his face told her he was reviewing all she’d just told him. When he did speak, the tightly controlled anger in his voice made the hair on the back of her neck stand up. “He has to pay for what he’s done.”

Mei Lien would not argue, nor would she fight a losing battle. “It is done. Let it go.”

“Campbell and all the men responsible should be brought to justice.”

“No, you mustn’t say a word to anyone.” Mei Lien forced her limbs to move until she faced him squarely. “No one will believe you. We don’t have proof Grandmother was thrown overboard. They’d say she jumped as I did, but didn’t have the strength to survive.”

Joseph cocked his head to the side. “Could that be what actually happened?”

Mei Lien understood he still held hope that his friend wasn’t completely guilty of all this cruelty. “No,” she answered him, forcing her voice to remain even. “Grandmother had bound feet and couldn’t walk. She was incapable of climbing over the ship’s railing. Someone would have had to lift her over it.”

“Forgive me, but could your father have done it?”

The thought shocked Mei Lien into silence. She supposed Father could have lifted his own mother and pushed her to her death in an attempt to save her as he’d done to Mei Lien. It was possible.

But no, it wasn’t likely. Father knew how weak Grandmother was and how cold the waters were. He had known as surely as Mei Lien that Grandmother would not have been able to swim to shore. If he’d pushed her over the side, it was to save her from an even crueler end at the hands of the white men, and in that case, the blame still lay with the white men. With Campbell.

She didn’t want to talk about Grandmother’s death anymore. It made her feel cold and sick inside, and right now they had other things to worry about. She started to wrap up the remains of their lunch. “We’d best hurry if I’m to find a job and a place to live by nightfall.”

Joseph nodded absently as he helped her. When everything was packed away, he didn’t start heading back to town as she expected. Instead he turned to her, his hand gentle on her upper arm. “Mei Lien,” he said now, his chin set stubbornly. “Let me protect you. I’ll keep you safe.”

“How would you do that, Joseph?”

“You’ll be safe if you’re my wife.” His thumb stroked her shoulder. “We should marry.”

Thursday, March 4, 1886

Port Townsend, Washington Territory

Marry.

The word was so unexpected that Mei Lien had to repeat it over and over in her mind before she understood him. “Marry?” She shook her head. “Don’t be
shă
, foolish, Joseph. That’s impossible. Come, we must go.”

She stepped past him, intending to lead him back to town, when he grabbed her arm.

“I’m serious, Mei Lien.” He had a challenging light in his eyes. “I know I’m not the kind of man you expected to marry. I don’t have the right religion or customs, and I don’t know all your words, but I can protect you and keep you safe. I can give you a good life.”

He was serious. He really thought they should wed. She shifted the satchel on her shoulder and managed to shrug off his hold and move past him this time. “I can’t let you do that, Joseph. You have a good life on your island, and soon you’ll find your Christian bride to start a family with. You don’t need me, nor do you really want me.”

“You’re wrong.” His voice held a command but his words were what made her stop walking, though she kept her back to him. “I do need you and want you, Mei Lien.”

Now she spun around. “What for?”

He remained where she’d left him under the dripping boughs of the tree, his hands hanging limply at his sides. “In these last weeks that we’ve been sharing my cabin, I’ve come to long for the sound of your voice when I return home at night. My body craves the feel of yours next to mine as we work in the fields. I find myself wondering if your skin is really as soft as I remember it from the night I undressed you after pulling you from the water. When I think of my children, I picture them with your black hair and brown eyes.”

She’d had no idea he felt this way. She’d been certain she was the only one to feel something when they were together. For what seemed like several minutes all she could do was stare at him. His words seemed to shock him as much as they did her because his face flamed into a color she’d never before seen on a man. He kept his gaze locked on her, but the way he fidgeted with his hat in his hands revealed his true unease.

“What about the good white woman who would be by your side in the community?” she finally managed, resisting the pull of his words. “What happens if you meet her someday but are stuck with me?”

He stepped to her then, out in the open, and took both her hands in his own. His forgotten hat dropped to the muddy ground. “I can’t imagine any white woman more beautiful or more perfect for me than you already are. I don’t want some woman I don’t even know. I want you. Will you marry me, Mei Lien?”

“What about people who will shun you once they know you’re married to me? You’ll be laughed at. You won’t become a town council member and certainly not mayor.” The way he’d described those jobs to her had told her how important they were to him.

Surely she had him convinced to forget the idea now.

But he shook his head. “I don’t care what anyone thinks. After spending these weeks with you, I’ve come to see people and situations differently. A civic life isn’t so grand when the people I’m serving climb over others to serve themselves. You are all I need.”

When she didn’t respond, he squeezed her hands. “What do you say?”

She tried to tug her hands away but he wouldn’t let her. Frustrated, she said the only thing left she could say to stop them both from making this mistake. “But, Joseph, I don’t love you.”

Even as she said the words, she recognized the absurdity of someone like her saying them. If she was still in Seattle, she would be facing an arranged marriage with the concept of love not considered. Did she even know how love would feel?

His mouth twisted. “That’s all right. Maybe someday you will.”

“You don’t love me either.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure if I were you.”

Suddenly his lips were on hers. At first she felt detached, as if she was watching from a distance. But then the softness of his lips, the warmth of his breath against her cheek, the pull of his hands on her shoulders narrowed her attention until all she knew was Joseph. His lips tasted salty, like the ham he’d eaten, but underneath was a taste she could not identify. As she opened her mouth and tilted her head to better fit his, she realized the flavor was Joseph. Simply Joseph. And she wanted more. Craved more.

His lips moved to her cheek and over to her neck. She closed her eyes and let her head fall back, completely forgetting they were standing in an open field where anyone could see them. Something hot and wet slid up her neck to her earlobe, and she gasped at the delicious tremors it set off in her body. Never had she known that a tongue could be used for such a purpose.

“Now try to tell me we wouldn’t be good together,” Joseph whispered into her ear between kisses.

She immediately grasped the challenge and promise in his words and felt her body respond with a flood of warmth that pooled low in her stomach. She needed to think. She stepped back to put distance between them and realized she was shaking, though she wasn’t cold.

Joseph’s lips looked swollen and his eyes were half-closed, as if he’d just woken from a long night of sleep. She put her fingertips to her own lips to see if they were just as swollen. They were.

Slowly a lazy smile spread across his face and shot straight into her knees, weakening them. The sensation was entirely uncomfortable but she liked it.

She wanted to say yes, wanted to wrap the safety he represented around her and never emerge from it. She wanted him to kiss her again.

With shaking breath she let her gaze wander down his body and wondered how it would feel to let him touch her as a husband touches a wife. She’d heard about these things when she was a boy among men in Seattle.

Joseph’s large, calloused palms should feel rough against her skin, but they were warm and gentle. He reminded her of Father in that way. They were both caring men who deeply loved family. And marriage or not, she and Joseph were already family.

But he was so big. Bigger than Father. Bigger than Yeung Lum, or any Chinese man she’d known. Surely he would hurt her.

Then again, maybe not. She’d seen him cradle a wild rabbit in his arms, then set it free when they could have eaten it for dinner. She’d felt his gentleness in the way he’d stood behind her with his hands wrapped around each of hers, teaching her how to hold the hoe when working the fields. Just now he’d held her so gently she’d felt cherished. He may be big, but he would not hurt her. He wasn’t like the other white men.

As Joseph stared back at her with his kind green eyes, the redness of his lips paling as he patiently awaited her answer, she thought about his cabin and property, the place across the meadow where he’d already started building a proper house, as he called it. It was nothing but a frame right now, but he worked on it every spare minute he found, and by the end of summer he planned to move in. She could move in with him and live in a house grander than any place she’d ever lived. She could see herself in that house, cooking Joseph’s dinner in the kitchen that filled the entire back of the first floor. She saw herself tending the garden that would grow in the plot outside the back door. She could even see herself helping with the farm animals in the barn or going with him when he caught fish from the sound or hunted deer on the mountain behind the farm.

Perhaps more surprising, she could see herself on the porch next to Joseph as they grew old. She could see herself lying beside him under his bed quilt. Their children would have his patience and her spirit. His green eyes and her black hair.

They would have a good life. Joseph was right in that, she knew. But would she ever grow to love him? She might come close, but she’d felt that part of herself shrivel up and die the moment she’d seen Grandmother’s body on the beach. She’d loved only two people in her life, Father and Grandmother, and having them ripped from her tore away the part of herself that had been attached to them. She wasn’t sure there was enough left inside her that was capable of love. Her heart had been ground under the boot heel of that white devil Campbell. She gasped. “Campbell!”

“Where?” Joseph pulled her to him, his arm wrapping protectively around her back as his gaze searched the field around them.

“No, he’s not here.” She stepped out of his hold. “I…I just remembered that he lives near you. Once he knows I’m there, he’ll want to kill me because I know what he did. I would spend every day of my life hiding from him and wondering when he’ll strike next. I’ll never feel safe.”

“I’ll be there. I’ll keep you safe.”

She shook her head and wrapped her arms around herself. “You can’t. You can’t be by my side every minute of every day. You have fields and orchards to tend, supplies to purchase, crops to sell. Mail to deliver.”

“Campbell stays in Seattle most of the time. He’s on the island only a few days every couple months. Besides, on the steamship he thought you were a boy, right?”

Mei Lien nodded slowly.

“Well then,” Joseph continued. “I’ll take you back to the island as a woman, my bride from Port Townsend. No one will ever connect you to Campbell’s boat.”

She hadn’t thought of that. But, still… “Campbell and others like him will hate me on sight for no other reason than because I look different. The fact that he won’t know I was on his ship doesn’t protect me from him.”

She saw the knowledge in Joseph’s eyes as he realized the truth of her words. To save him the trouble of retracting his proposal, she changed the subject. “I’m hoping to find a position as a houseboy,” she said as she started across the field toward the nearest house without waiting to see if he followed. “Or maybe a cook would be better. Something that will let me hide for the most part in one room.”

His hand on her arm stopped her from marching away. When she spun back to look at him, she saw his brow had become furrowed.

“I’ll protect you from Campbell and anyone else who wants to cause you harm.” His voice hitched, causing him to pause and press his lips together before continuing. “I promise I’ll keep you safe. Just please, say you’ll be my wife.”

She could say that look of vulnerability did it, or the way he nearly begged her, or even her lack of options. But she knew the real reason she gave in was because of the fire he’d ignited in her body. She yearned to know where it led, and she knew only Joseph could show her. She’d never felt so alive and so full of power—a sensation quite foreign to her but entirely welcome.

Suddenly shy, she looked down at the dirt. “Yes. I’ll marry you.”

Joseph’s finger lifted her chin so they were standing face-to-face. In that moment the world around her came into focus, as if they were subjects of one of the photographs she’d seen propped in the window of the Occidental Hotel in Seattle. The rest of the world felt frozen in time and only the two of them were present, captured in a scene that would forever be imprinted on her mind.

Joseph’s smile started slowly and spread across his face until it seemed to light him up from inside. It started an answering glow inside herself, and she felt her own smile widen as Joseph picked her up and swung her around with a whoop. In that moment she forgot all that had happened to lead her here. She closed her eyes and thrilled at the sensation of being held.

When Joseph set her back on her feet, he landed a kiss on her lips again that ended as quickly as it started. Then, stopping only long enough to gather up their belongings, he nearly dragged her back to town.

It took more than an hour to settle the details. Joseph paid the Baron to help them find a wedding officiant—a Tacoma ship’s captain waiting for his cargo to be off-loaded who had no qualms about marrying a white man and a Chinese woman, for the right price—as well as a plain gold band from the Baron’s store and a dress and shoes for Mei Lien.

She’d tried to refuse the dress since she preferred to wear trousers and a jacket, but Joseph reminded her she needed to dress like a woman to keep Campbell from recognizing her. And then he’d laid his palm against her cheek and told her she deserved to look and feel beautiful on her wedding day. Even though this dress wasn’t her idea of beauty, she’d accepted the garment and allowed herself to be whisked away to prepare for the ceremony two doors down from the Baron’s store. No reputable hotel or private home would allow Mei Lien entrance, but the Baron found reluctant help at the brothel.

Even now, standing before a full-length mirror in one of the upstairs bedrooms, with her hair done up in a feminine bun and wearing layers of petticoats and the starched black silk dress with a bustle at the back, she still did not feel beautiful. She felt ridiculous wearing this clothing with the linen undergarments and tight whalebone corset. Never in her life had she worn anything like this, and she never wanted to again if it meant feeling this confined and exposed all at once. How did a woman do a day’s work all trussed up like this?

“I don’t see why we should be fussing over one such as her.”

Mei Lien darted a look at the complaining prostitute lounging on the bed that took up most of the space in the small room. She was a harsh-looking woman with red, stringy hair and too much rouge on cheeks that sagged with age. A green silk robe hung loosely off one shoulder that was covered with freckles.

“Hush, Pearl. Because we’re getting paid to and that’s all the reason we need.” The younger woman, who’d said her name was Sapphire, stood behind Mei Lien, carefully fastening the row of tiny buttons along her spine. She met Mei Lien’s gaze in the mirror and smiled, revealing a missing front tooth. “Don’t pay her no mind. She’s just jealous.”

“Jealous of a smelly Chink?” With a sound of disgust, Pearl bounced to her feet and disappeared through the bedroom door.

“There. All done.” Sapphire stepped back and planted her hands on her hips. Then she tilted her head sideways. “Maybe we should powder your skin so it’s not so dark.”

Mei Lien ignored the woman as she stared at herself in the mirror and saw the effect the dress had on her figure. She crossed her arms over her body as a shield. Was she really expected to go out in public where people, where Joseph, would see her…her breasts sticking out from her chest like this? She might as well be naked for how noticeable the two bumps on her front appeared. And her waist! It looked unnaturally small, which made her chest appear that much bigger. Sapphire had even said something about how Mei Lien’s husband would be able to fit his hands completely around her waist, which was a ridiculous notion.