The Girls They Left Behind (62 page)

‘I know. It just seems so strange, us out here, safe, and everyone we know in danger. I’m just wondering whether I did the right thing, joining the Land Army.’

‘Of course you did. You like it. You’re good at it.’

‘That’s not the most important thing,’ Betty said. ‘The most important thing is helping the country. Liking things and being good at them are things for peacetime.’

‘And war too,’ Erica said staunchly. ‘Look, Betty, I’ve learn’I a lot since I came out here. Remember what I was like to start with, insisting on my own room, saying I wouldn’t stay where there was a CO?’

Betty smiled and nodded. ‘Yvonne and me thought you were a proper toffee-nosed little squirt.’

‘Well, so I was,’ Erica said. ‘And I was worse after Geoff was killed. But since then, well, I’ve thought about things a lot.’ She bit her lip and looked down at a small, newborn lamb which had come up to the gate to stare at them inquisitively.

‘Geoff used to tell me off, you know. About the way I treated Dennis. He said everyone had a right to their opinions and Dennis wasn’t a coward. I wouldn’t listen to him, I didn’t want to listen to him, but now I know it’s true. There’s not many men would go and do what Dennis is doing.’

‘I wish he wouldn’t,’ Betty said. ‘He’s not a coward, but I am. I’m imagining him getting blown up all the time. I just don’t see how he’ll get through alive. I just can’t believe he will.’

Her voice broke and Erica moved to lay a small, roughened hand on her sleeve. Her own voice was ragged as she answered.

‘I know how you feel, Betty. I really do. Every day, I thought of Geoff going up in his plane and never coming back. And one day, that’s just what happened.’ She paused, gathering strength to continue. ‘Maybe it will be the same with Dennis.

But there’s nothing we can do about it, Betty. We just have to take whatever we can, and make the best of it. We just have to love them while they’re here.’

The newborn lamb called to its mates and they came over in a small, bleating throng. They pressed against the gate, gazing up at the two girls. Betty reached down a hand to scratch the top of a hard woolly head and the lamb jumped, startled.

‘I suppose you’re right,’ she said. ‘I know you’re right. But it’s so hard, Erica. The waiting - being brave - just getting through the days. It’s so hard.’

‘I know,’ the blonde girl said, and she moved a little closer and put her arm round Betty’s shoulders. ‘I know … But we can do it, Betty. We’re all stronger than we thought. And Dennis is still alive, and let’s hope he’ll stay that way.’ She paused, then added, ‘At least you do have hope.’

Yes, Betty thought, I do have hope. I can hope that Dennis will survive. I can hope that the war will soon be over. I can hope that Olive and Derek will be able to be together and have a family, and that Colin will come home one day. And I can hope that Erica will find someone else to love, even though she’ll never forget Geoff.

She turned from the gate and felt the telegram crinkle in her pocket. She had parted from Graham before he had died, recognising that their love had never been more than a brief infatuation, that in other times would have fizzled out with no hurt feelings on either side. But he would always have a special place, deep in the comer of her heart, for he had been the first boy to kiss her, to tell her that he loved her, and the first for whom she had felt a tremor of emotion. Despite their arguments, there had been a sweetness about it that she could not forget.

And had no reason to forget. For her love for Dennis was of a different kind, an enduring kind. And as Erica said, she

could have hope. She could love him while he was here.

That was all that any of them could do - the girls who were left behind.