The Glass Knot-mmf (23 page)

The
tears wouldn’t stop. On and on they came. My nose joined in, leaking the same
way my eyes were. I’d been such a fool to get involved with the Kendals. They
loved each other. I was just an extra, a bit of fun, an experiment.

A
pet.

A
fresh wave of shuddering sobs attacked me. Oh, my God, how could I have let
this happen?

Would
I ever recover? It didn’t feel like it.

Bang.
Bang. Bang.

Through
the sound of my own noisy wailing, I heard a familiar voice.

“Open
this damn door, Laura, before I have to break it down.”

I
froze.

Shit.
It’s Josh.

“I
know you’re in there, so open this door. I’ve knocked down doors twice as
strong as this with one shoulder barge.”

I
jumped up and ran into the small hallway.

“Go
away,” I shouted. “Don’t you get it? I don’t want to see you. That’s why I’m here
and not at the cottage.” I sniffed loudly then wiped my flushed, wet face with
my palms.

“Laura,
just open the door, we need to talk about this.” Nick’s voice.

God,
he’s here too.

“There’s
nothing to talk about. I’ll pay you the money back when I can, and the car,
well, the car can be returned to the garage, or wherever you bought it from.
I’m sure you’ll get a full refund.”

“Laura,
that’s not going to happen. Now come on, stop all this silliness,” Nick said.

My
vision blurred as angry red dots swam in front of my puffy eyes. “Silliness, is
that what you think this is? Me just being a silly little girl and not doing
what I’m told.”

“No,
of course not,” Josh’s voice again. “But talking through the door
is
silly, and we’re not leaving until you hear us out.”

The
handle gave an ominous rattle, as though he was testing the wood for strength.

With
a sharp, angry movement, I reached forward and flicked the latch, then turned
and walked away, toward the window in my living room.

What
choice did I have when two dogmatic, pig-headed, self-righteous men were intent
on getting into my flat any way they could?

I
sensed them stepping in. It was as though their presence changed the electrons
in the moldy air. Knowing they were close sent my traitorous body on high alert,
memories of the night before flooding back. Sweaty, naked limbs tangled
together, the smells, the sounds, the euphoric highs they’d lifted me to.

Folding
my arms, I stared at the hazy London skyline and pushed those thoughts from my
mind. That was the past now, so I concentrated on the gray roofs and sooty
chimney pots. There were no major landmarks to be seen from this part of the
city. The feral pigeons didn’t count unless they were in Trafalgar Square.

“Laura,
what is that…smell?” Nick asked from behind me.

My
fingers dug into my biceps as I tensed. “Damp, upstairs had a flood and it ran
down, into my place.”

“When?”
Nick asked.

“When
I was in Marbella.”

“And
they haven’t fixed it yet?” Josh asked.

“No,
not yet.” I pursed my lips and turned to face them. “I’m sure they will,
though.”

They
stood shoulder-to-shoulder by the living room doorway, looking impossibly big
in my small flat and beside my small furniture. Each wore an expression of grim
determination.

“You
can’t be expected to live in these conditions. Even the walls look wet,” Nick
said incredulously as he reached out and ran his index finger down the wall to
his right. “Fuck, they are.”

“It’s
not ideal no, but I’m working on it.”

“How?”

I
frowned. “I’ve written them a stinking letter.”

“Jesus,
they need more than that. We’ve got to get a solicitor on the case. Get
something official sent out to really shake them up and—”

“What
about your insurance?” Josh asked, looking around, his gaze settling on the
picture of himself above my TV.

I
shrugged. “I forgot to renew it.”

Nick
shoved his hand over his short hair. “Bloody hell.”

“But
it doesn’t matter to you two. Go back to the cottage, live your happy ever
after. You don’t need me complicating your lives with my messy finances and
damp flat.” I flicked my hand toward the door. “Go. Now.”

Josh
shook his head and stepped up to me. When he spoke his voice was soft. “Who
says we don’t need you? I thought we proved last night that we did.”

Looking
into his devastatingly sexy eyes, I willed myself not to fall into his arms. It
would be so easy to give in.

“Okay,
so the flat needs sorting,” he said, “but come and stay with us while we do
it.”

It
was all I could do not to stamp my foot. Why were they being so damn obstinate?
“That is exactly my point,” I shouted. “It’s not
your
problem to sort
out. It’s mine, don’t you get it? This is my flat, my mess to deal with. The
same as my credit cards were my problem and so is my beaten-up old car.”

Josh
placed his hands on my shoulders, stubbornly ignoring me when I tried to shrug
him off. “Shh, calm down.”

“No,
don’t tell me to calm down. You can’t just claim me, take me in and make
everything perfect.”

Nick
came and stood alongside us. He tucked a messy strand of my hair behind my ear.
“Why not?”

Tears
pricked my eyes again, but I refused to wail and sob in front of them.

“Why
not, Laura?” Josh repeated.

“Because
don’t you know,” I said, pushing at Josh’s chest but succeeding only in causing
him to tighten his grip on me. “That nothing is ever perfect, nothing lasts.
And where will I be when you don’t want me anymore and I can’t repay you?”

And
how will I recover from having my heart broken by
two
men?

“Baby,
what gives you the impression there will ever be a time when we don’t want
you?” Josh asked, shaking his head in confusion. “I thought we proved how much
we want and need you.”

“Well,
I don’t need you to…” I cried as tears burst their banks and streamed down my
cheeks. “I don’t want you to…” I could hardly talk for the series of violent
sobs that burst up from my lungs. “I…I don’t need you to bail me out with money
or, or…”

Suddenly
I was up against Josh’s chest. His arms were around me and so were Nick’s.

“Shh,
don’t cry, baby,” Nick murmured. “We’re sorry, okay? We would never have done
any of this if we thought it would cause you one second of pain. We just want
to make you feel good, we want you to be happy.”

Happy?
I haven’t been so miserable in years.

Josh,
or maybe it was Nick, ran his hand down my back. I sucked in air, the familiar
fresh scent of Josh filled my stuffy nose. “But I can’t pay you back, probably
not for years,” I said, dropping my face into my hands and screwing my eyes up
tight.

“We
don’t want you to pay back the money. Don’t you see, we just want
you
,”
Josh whispered onto the top of my head. “This is how it is when you’re
together, in a relationship, you help each other out. The same way Nick did me
when I joined the fire service. He supported me financially those first few
years while the pay was crap. Kept a roof over my head and food on the table.”

“But
that’s different, you were married.”

Suddenly
I was spun in Josh’s arms. Opening my bleary eyes, I looked up at Nick.

“So
we’ll get married too,” he said, his mouth a sharp, straight line of resolve.
“We are three now, and whatever we have to do to make you feel like you’re part
of us, that you belong with us, then that’s what we’ll do.”

“But…?”

“I
haven’t figured out the details yet.” He glanced at Josh.

“But
it’s a bloody good idea,” Josh said with equal firmness. “We want you, Laura
Makay, not just for a night, not just for a weekend. We want you forever. We
want you to be Laura Kendal.”

There
was long, heavy silence as their words settled in my soul.

“If,
of course, you’ll have us,” Nick said. He had a worried glint in his eye and
although he tried to smile his mouth only twitched.

I
reached up and touched his face. “Nick, I…?” Was I hearing right? Did they
really want me for all of time, not just as a passing phase?

“Do
you love us?” Nick asked, a slight tremor in his voice.

I
swallowed another sob as my heart ballooned to bursting point. My legs were
weak, my body exhausted. But being surrounded by strong male muscle, listening
to wonderful promises about the future, our future, suddenly made me feel
strong and full of hope.

“Laura,”
Josh said worriedly. “We both love you so much. Yes, it’s been a whirlwind and
it’s not exactly conventional. But what we feel is so strong and so true that
if you don’t say you’ll be ours then there’ll be a gaping hole in our lives
that we’ll never be able to fill.”

Reaching
up, I cupped his jawline. It was smooth and warm. His eyes held the same scared
glint Nick’s did.

“You
both made me so angry,” I said quietly. “I might be completely disorganized
when it comes to my finances and the business isn’t doing so well, but I have
my pride.”

Josh
tugged at his bottom lip and nodded slightly.

“And
you can’t go messing with someone else’s bank account or telling them what to
drive,” I went on.

“The
car is a safety issue, I—” Josh argued.

I
pressed my finger against his lips. “What I’m trying to say is, if you both
promise to ask me before you make grand generous gestures or big decisions then…”
I paused and shook my head, words piling up in my mouth. I didn’t know what to
do with the words; they were so big and the emotions that went with them
threatened to swamp me. I just let them out. “I…I love you both,” I said
quickly, “I can’t imagine not being with you. What we have is so special. Whatever
it takes, marriage, I don’t know. I just want to be where you both are,
I—”

Josh’s
swift, excited kiss stopped my tumbling statements. His tongue delved into my
mouth, and he squeezed me close. Nick’s tongue was also there, probing,
exploring.

We
squeezed one another tight. The feel of two broad backs beneath my palms and
two sets of hands on my body was sublime.
The
kiss turned three-way, the guys kissing me and each other. Me sharing my
attentions between them. It was so sexy, so erotic, and infused with such a
heady soup of happy emotions I could almost have believed I was flying.

I
rode in the back of the Subaru with Nick as Josh negotiated our way out of
London. The trunk held the majority of my clothes, all my work equipment and a box
of other essentials—paperwork and personal photographs.

Nick
held me close, his arms wound around me. Occasionally he dropped a kiss onto my
hair or my cheek and smiled softly.

After
such upset and anger I was tired. Tired but happy, floating on my own personal
high. My stomach was light and my heart wallowed in contentment.

When
we arrived at Barn View, Nick headed toward his office. “I’m going to make a
call to my solicitor if it’s all right with you, Laura?.”

Josh
put down a box of my photography equipment in the hallway. “The flat?”

“Yep.”
Nick looked at me.

So
did Josh.

“Yes,”
I nodded. “That would be great, thanks.”

He
gave a sharp nod and I watched his long, lean body stride into the paneled
office. I missed his arms around me.

“I
think I’ll take a shower,” I said, feeling the need to rid the damp, stale
smell of my old home off my body. “If you don’t mind?”

Josh
shifted my hair and bared my neck. Dropped a feather light kiss below my ear. “Go
ahead, sweetie,” he said in a low, raspy voice. “I might even join you in a
minute.” He winked and headed off to retrieve my last box from the car.

With
my neck tingling, I climbed the stairs I’d raced down earlier that day. The sun
was setting and the stairway was strewn with shadows. It felt right to be
climbing them, like I was home, where I belonged.

I
held my face up to the hot water, let it beat down on my tender eyelids, still
delicate from my exhaustive sobbing. The scent of lemon swirled in the steamy
air, the shower gel reminding me of Josh’s scent.

“Room
for us in here?”

Turning,
I opened my eyes.

Josh
and Nick were both stepping into the huge glass cubicle. Both gloriously naked.
Both gloriously hard.

My
mouth watered as I gazed hungrily at their beautiful bodies. Josh so broad and
golden skinned, his smooth muscles bulging. Nick, a fraction taller, just as
wide-shouldered but leaner, hairier and with a tenser, more deliberate way of
moving.