The GOD Box (6 page)

Gabe learned more about Jonathan from reading biographies then he did working with him, in all honesty.
Reading biographies, interviews, and dissertations taught him that Jonathan had long wondered about the sustainability of life and if it was worth it if there were unhappy memories. He had researched how to transform memories in the cloning process, which would encourage positive responses toward others and influence the satisfaction they felt with their life. Jonathan worked for years with memory. True, he came up with the fail safe process for cloning, and even speeding it up, but that seemed to mean little to him unless he could change memory with it.

Jonathan would never tell
all the research to Gabe himself, because he was too busy with his formulas. Therefore, by his own in-depth research, Gabe uncovered the long process Jonathan had been through. Basically, Jonathan thought there had to be a drug that could instil happiness in the mind in a more successful way than anti-depressants. He started work with chemicals in the brain, beginning with dopamine as a base and administering them in small quantities. It had worked but wasn’t lasting – the brain couldn’t conform to it. That was when he started working with memory; with the plug that it would help veterans overcome post-traumatic stress by altering their memories.

The withdrawals from that drug put people in psych wards.
Jonathan was inconsolable when the results came back. When that lab report reached the public they went wild with accusations about ethics and wanting to create new laws to monitor this use of medicine.

That was when Jonathan started becoming uncontrollable and angry
, apparently. Gabe never knew him to be otherwise. His breakdown had happened a few months before they met. For a few months they worked together… or, Jonathan tried to teach him, and would sometimes listen to ideas that weren’t his own.

Their collaborative theories and
Jonathan’s cloaked propositions were presented in a conference in Montana where Gabe was still teaching. A professor came up to them afterward and instead of suggesting something about God as they anticipated and as others had done before, he merely mentioned an analogy called The Promised Land as it relates to the human experience in general. He said that the creator of the Promised Land understands the end from the beginning and leads the people through the wilderness until they find it. This sparked the idea for what became their culminating project. Yes, Gabe realized the religious context of the idea, but that was far from the point.

Luckily
, the next few months were bearable because Jonathan’s inner hulk was subdued by the prospects of this next project. They were preparing people to start the world over again… or the Adam and Eves. He vied to have his memory altering research re-instituted. That was not an option. So he tried to come up with other ways of conditioning the subjects to have them maintain the tolerance of the twenty-second century, but rid of the world’s self-destructive social and economic habits.

Unfortunately
, however, they had little control over the project. The same man who suggested the analogy got them in contact with some private agency who’d been working on the same idea for a while. They had already recruited for the world’s most renowned religious leaders, politicians, psychologists, and philosophers to discuss how to prepare the next world for success. They were under strict secrecy, unable to leave the premises until the project was underway.

That was a joke
.  How did they ever imagine so many people from different backgrounds could agree? To be so politically correct was to be indecisive.

…

Gabe abruptly severed the memories in order to appease the situation he was now in and started to explain soberly while he massaged his fingers to his head.

“Look. You need to come to terms with the fact that you know next to nothing. Your arrogance will blind you. Don’t judge us! You do not know why we did what we did. I was a professor at a University for thirty years toying with ideas and playing games with history and all it taught me.
I’ve studied every idea of purpose there ever was, in every culture. Everything led us to the desire of self-sufficiency and happiness. People just want to be happy. That happiness comes from doing what you want, when you want, without fear of other people getting in your way. That is natural and equal.” The explanation came out with more fear and more venom than anticipated.

O
vercoming the guilt of destroying an entire nation (even if it was on the verge of it’s own destruction) takes a little more than a little exaggerated reasoning to get over. That being said, there wasn’t even enough time to think about why you have to think about it, after a while a person just became excellently and deceitfully persuasive. In hindsight, Gabe thought, perhaps that was a little unfortunate.

“If people
aren’t happy, what’s the point?” Gabe concluded.

They didn’t say anything… probably because they didn’t know. Wheels were turning though; they were asking themselves questions. Deep, potentially evil, satisfaction came from watching them turn their world sideways. Still, i
t hadn’t stuck, not the way Gabe needed it to.

“Death is usually not the way we get there.” Dane said charismatically.

“But a fresh start can be. Look, you yourselves were just talking about politics and the inability to change the masses…”

“You know, May, he’s got a point, we never thought the real answer to the government’s problems were solved by
killing
the masses” … it was almost funny…

“Take the people out of it, okay, take them out, its research. If it doesn’t work, start over, start from scratch.”

May chastised them, “That ironically sounds nothing like freedom.”

Gabe realized this was probably why they should have brought some kind of footage and a computer. What he would give for clips of the news on the internet, not that they would have had the internet, but they could have saved something from it at least.

And, considering this, he thought he’d had this realization before, during the second cloning partially, but the third in particular. They, too, were hard to convince, too quick to judge, wanting help to conquer, not to learn. It was really a mess. Without noticing his behavior, Gabe was now furrow-browed with his arms crossed, staring at the ground.

Jonathan was babbling
something about how they should look at their own society and be glad because they were free and Dane interrupted,

“
Yea, one, I’m not so sure that’s true. Two, whatever the reasoning, it wasn’t your choice.”

“Whose choic
e was it then?” Jonathan asked, abruptly ceasing his continuous flow of word vomit. Gabe looked at him, too obviously concerned that Jonathan was fishing for something.

“The individuals”
Dane concluded.

Both Gabe and Jonathan were relieved. The answer given was as good as nothing.
At least, it wasn’t what they were most afraid of hearing.

Jonathan clearly wanted to spit a retort, but Gabe jumped in before he could start,

“We don’t expect you’ll ever quite understand. But, now’s the time to kill us if you want and we’ll be found in a couple more centuries to come back again and by then enough damage will probably be done that we’ll have some other use to these people and your posterity.” It was bitter as it came out.

Anxiety was welling up in each corner of this very lopsided square they
were set up in. They felt like the last pieces of the chess board.

May and Dane
didn’t quite know what to make of that potentially kind, though accusatory comment.

“Why would we kill you?” Dane asked.

Gabe and Jonathan didn’t answer, knowing that the couple would think about it, and figure it out soon enough. If things were working in this nation, there would be nothing to worry about. The couple wouldn’t have to fear another restart; wouldn’t have to find remains of other cities and asked lots of questions… they would know the history. But, there was the threat that if it wasn’t going well, everything and everyone they knew might disappear. Life was at the scientist’s disposal for all they knew. So, now they could make their choice: risk losing everything, or see what Gabe and Jonathan had to offer. Gabe realized that any normal human being would be empathetic after going through the same ordeal – losing everything… but he wasn’t.

In Gabe’s
uncharacteristically hopeful imagination they were thinking something like this:. Maybe, they weren’t really murderers at heart, and maybe they really did want the success of the world, maybe life as an expendable tool accomplished greater purposes than force feeding people good choices.

But
, it disgusted them, as it would any normal human being. Gabe wouldn’t have actually put any money on suspicions of what they were thinking right now. When people didn’t have much experience, it was hard to make completely false assumptions that someone’s character was more pure than it appeared. Truth was a little too obvious to the innocent.

In all honesty
Gabe would say it was sickly carnal, too, and yet he did it. What did that say about his intentions?

Regrettably f
or May and Dane, killing them would do nothing. Soon they would realize that. Gabe watched the way their minds mulled over the facts. Dragging them along was safer than allowing them to wander and poison the next vulnerable soul. They knew this. Gabe was desperate that their desire to learn would trump their other options. He was not so eager to die, today. It was ironic how he feared death when it was always coupled with rebirth.

Gabe tried to imagine how they were feeling: i
n the light hearted curiosity this day began with for them, now the world was on their shoulders… or everything they knew about in the world.

It would have been nice if the foliage was sympathetic toward
any of them. But it stood still, straight, calm, and dead quiet. Perhaps it didn’t know who to be sympathetic toward. To the young pair who could only comprehend a mere hundredth of the fear felt by millions of people, guilt of the researchers, and their own options of what to do. Or, to the two scientists who were the unhappiest of all.

Next came tight ropes, bruises, small spaces and meeting more people with an identity crisis; people who live in a misguided paradigm. They think they have a prerogative to use what they think they’ve learned to create a vis
ion of the future. These were Jonathan’s least favorite people. Each one with their own ideas; refusing formulas. He dared them to try to fix the world. He wanted to see them fail.

Gabe was furious and walked off somewhere
to cool down. Jonathan had an energy crash after his eager explanations and remained in a depressive stupor.

The trees seemed too
far apart from what he remembered, but they never seemed to dwindle in quantity, and there were at least ten different species Gabe could name so far. The floor was littered with decaying fruit and the remains of thick vines that had long since lost their strength. Then there were even what looked like bones crunching below his feet instead of being quieted in the cushion of the leaves. These observances irritated him more. He walked about thirty yards from May and Dane and screamed at the top of his lungs. This didn’t arouse Jonathan who was used to this habit of Gabe’s, and was now muttering to himself, but it made May and Dane perk up. Gabe was spiraling downward in self-pity and the enormous variety of emotions today were making him mentally incapable of forcing them out with reasoning.

Was it better to willfully die, and choose this
hell, and know you chose it, than be a victim? Did they have any idea what it was like to die – over and over and over again? To have built up your whole life to understand human nature and fail every time you tried to make it make sense? To not have answers despite thousands of years of knowledge? Is that not also a type of hell – worthlessness despite your best efforts?

Someone was walking up to him who he didn’t recognize.
Startled, Gabe tripped backward against a tree trunk. It was alarming how close the man had gotten without Gabe hearing him. Gabe blamed it on his emotional distractions, because it seemed so unlikely that a man so large could have been quiet enough to avoid being seen or heard. Gabe’s abrupt motion was painful when his head smacked the trunk and crunched a leaf behind him.

“Who are you?” The stranger asked. His appearance was intimidating
, but Gabe couldn’t quite figure out why. Perhaps it was that he was so… serious, so obviously secretive and introverted just by his facial expression. He stood up straight, seemed healthy, but looked so angry. With such a deep voice as he had, Gabe was sure the others could hear at least a mumbling just in case this turned for the worse. Who could this possibly be? A friend? Was the settlement so close that other strangers would wander here? Gabe replied, all of his emotions obvious in his face,

“Gabe.”

Unimpressed the stranger spoke again,

“Have you seen two others?”

“Yeah, over there.” And he pointed. The burly man walked past him. Shortly following, another, very thin figure, came from the same direction.

“Hi” he said perkily, “who are you?”

“Gabe” he said more confidently than the previous time with the large, frightening man.

“Listen, Gabe, there’s two crazies walking around this
jungle who ran away in the middle of the night, a man and woman that respond to the name of May and Dane, and they usually respond simultaneously. You seen ‘em?” He said this with exaggerated warning in his voice, but, as he did so, started backing off the act, realizing the oddness of the situation. The boy looked down to Gabe’s shoes with a weird wince. When he looked back up, for the sake of the situation, he cracked a smile.

Gabe must have looked confused because this skinny kid then
hit his arm as if to solidify he was joking. His hair was shorter, but looked like he’d cut it himself without a mirror. Insecure, and sort of goofy looking, too, but in a way that you couldn’t really dislike him. Gabe automatically labeled him as his favorite, and the one he could trust.

Thinking this was strange and wondering how
many more there were, Gabe decided to walk back with him. All of his emotions were hinged with these new incomers. The first stranger was standing across from May and Dane in conversation. Jonathan was now attentive to them, listening in as much as if he were in the conversation. He had a look of contempt. They were merely explaining the physical situation from what Gabe could gather. The large one seemed aggravated that they had ventured away without them and was chastising them. This fourth party stayed back and waited for a break in the conversation before asking what was up. Dane gave uninformative answers to both newcomers, but it was decided they should head back to camp.

May
raised an eyebrow and walked past all of them, giving Gabe a warning look. She rubbed her face and her tired eyes and pressed forward. Dane requested that they follow them to camp. They all continued. To their left, the mountain disappeared and their surroundings became oldish green and mulch colored rainforest on all sides. Then, after several hours of walking, the reddish-brown cliff seemed to jut up again, alarmingly, making a smooth bowl shape around a little man-made clearing.

Beyond the rock there was still no sign of the end of the jungle. They were all casually entering and tending to a few camp duties; getting water, eating fruit that was laid out, shuffling belongings. Hopefully their casual behavior meant that nothing was as bad as it seemed. At some point they sat and waited for more information.

The good news was that they were cooperating and communicating. The bad news was that because they were cooperating and communicating, Gabe and Jonathan were more responsible for returning the favor. They were bound by hopeful coordinating instead of bound as prisoners. For the first time in a long time, their consciousness was holding them accountable to actually help these people if it were possible. Gabe felt that way, at least. It was debatable whether Jonathan actually had a conscious.

Maybe, just maybe they could keep it this way.

For what resources they had it was well set up, probably, with attention to do the right things. But coming from twenty-second century camping, this was considered less prepared than “roughing it”. Their camp was made by a large rock, which was warming with the sun and radiating heat.

Dane struck
his pose leaning against a tree nearest the group, but in the shadows. May sat on a rock near the two boys. Jonathan and Gabe chose to stay back in the shadows with Dane. Gabe didn’t feel intimidated by their stiffness, just pissed off. Samson and Miek didn’t seem to mind the heat.

They both had dark
er skin that seemed more naturally prone to this kind of climate. Miek looked almost Middle Eastern, yet the bright color of his eyes and the boyish, beardless face threw off the image. Samson was likely Caucasian, yet the dark skin was too dark for any English/Irish descent. Gabe was tempted to say he was part Brazilian. It was difficult to tell heritage anymore with the blending of cultures. They had to blend after such a failure the first time.

With the reminder of his position of control,
Gabe was regaining his cunning, and authoritative attitude. None of them knew how many times in the past they did this, how commonplace it was for them to see frightened and curious faces deliberating their fates, and the game they had to play. The kids were the pawns. If they felt like they were in control, more power to the scientists. There was strength to Gabe in knowing that he had a thousand plus years more knowledge than all of them combined.

A few minutes of this self-convincing made him almost feel ready for the conversation.  That was good, too, because the others were already ready.

May sat and pointed to them, “This is Gabe and Jonathan… Say hi.” She prompted dryly.

The skinny boy said, “nope, already did that, they only get one friendly greeting. That’s the rule.
” May shrugged. Then it was quiet.

Jonathan made an indiscernible
noise. Gabe knew what it was for: he hated silence. But it stayed quiet for a while. Gabe wondered, were they in a meeting….? Were they going to conduct it, tell them when to speak?

Dane came into view and sat down by the big, warming rock. He said with a little more optimism than before, “Will you please tell us in greater detail what you are doin
g here, and where you came from?” Welcoming their words with an open hand and then crossing it over his knees.

It was time…
they got lucky before, back in the jungle, but this time… this was it. Gabe thought with a small sense of doom. Death is on its way. He stared at the ground through his thick glasses, then sighed, then looked up at Jonathan. Gabe changed his mind… he wasn’t ready to talk.

Another big problem for Gabe and Jonathan was that
it was impossible to know what they already knew.

Jonathan started, giving the same succinct explanation as before, we’re scientists…. Blah blah.
What was the point? When he finished the sentence it was quiet again. The skinny boy had caught Gabe’s attention because of the way he was sitting and staring thoughtfully. He had a refreshing intellectual innocence, and his eyes always looked cheerfully considerate. The goofy smile from earlier wasn’t always there, but also seemed like it wasn’t ever quite absent either. Gabe called him skinny, but a better word would be narrow. All of the others were thin… but they had some broadness about them.

“Well…
” he began, “first, I want to know where you’re getting your drugs. Second, we could just kill you.”

It surprised Gabe that the threat came from the most buoyant of them.

Dane and May frowned similarly; considering the uninformed, but intelligent thought. Dane spoke up,

“But… they’re not entirely craz
y. This is the answer we have been looking for. And, also, it doesn’t
really
matter if we kill them. Somehow they’ve come back to life, several times, so it’s easy to realize the possibility that they will do it again.”

“Sure wish
we
knew what we were looking for.” Miek added, but didn’t dampen his spirits as he said it. Apparently May and Dane had been keeping secrets. Gabe took note of that.
That
was a potentially useful situation which Gabe could use against them.

Dane
didn’t explain his statement, but maybe there was some kind of unknown rule in the group that you don’t ask for extra explanations… or maybe you just don’t mess with Dane or he will do something that will hinder your ability to walk for the rest of your life… Gabe and Jonathan squinted and looked at each other. In the last five hours Dane and May hadn’t found it important to suggest that they found an answer to anything. While it was suspected, because they had to know about the cave somehow, Gabe was worrying that the discovery might have been a little unintentional.

Gabe was eager to know what started their curiosity
and was even more distraught now that Dane gave no explanation.
Why was all of this expected to these strangers? Clearly this group was a little more prepared than they thought. Gabe was trying to convince himself to talk, but Jonathan beat him to the punch – and didn’t even ask about how they knew.
Figures.

“I was born 2065
in a place called the United States of America. The country had only been around for a couple hundred years… which for you might be a lot, but there were other nations in other places that were around for thousands of years…”

“… really? This is fascinating.” The skinny boy said, sitting criss-cross applesauce, elbow in knee, chin on hand.  “Were they really united??”

Jonathan was befuddled and a little irritated, “do you know this already?”

“No. He just loves
history. Please continue.” Dane instructed. His voice was dull as he said it, but Gabe realized that Dane was probably just feeling protective and was anticipating, however slightly, what all of this would lead to; the weight he was about to bear.

Jonathan soldiered on,

“Well, America, when it was founded, was deemed a free country. People had been in other countries and felt oppressed, so they wanted a place where they could believe-” Gabe cringed. But, Jonathan continued, “-what they wanted.”

Gabe decided no more facial expressions. That’s worse than bad word choice, probably. They’re smart enough to pick up on those things. They didn’t say anything or ask for further explanation so Jonathan continued with hardly a breath.

“A couple hundred years later, there were some unseen consequences. Now, it didn’t take hundreds of years, but it just got continually worse. People had ideas of how things should be run and they would try to push them on other people. Those other people didn’t like it and went and had their own ideas that they should be free from the pushy people. The pushy people felt they were losing their rights to be pushy. The non-pushy people came up with this idea of tolerance, which moderated the pushiness and the anti-pushiness, but in actuality totally negated any of their ideas at all.” He stopped for breath and the silence was long enough that a voice said,

“… I think we follow you…
but you’re a bit vague…” The charismatic sarcasm made it clear that Dane was speaking.

Jonathan looked like he almost forgot people were listening.

“I don’t care.”

Gabe shrugged as Jonathan
continued and mouthed to them kindly, ‘He does care.’ and then added, like a sweet, considerate wife, ‘but he’ll never admit it.’

Miek was the only one that laug
hed.

T
he rest just looked at Miek as Jonathan (oblivious) pushed on, “SO… since it didn’t actually mean anything at all and people were really only free within the realm of other people like them, the air began to get very stuffy. Some ideas were unallowable in one place, and in the other place were demanding tolerance. Those who didn’t want mere tolerance weren’t tolerated. And so, people were no longer free. Not only that, they weren’t happy either.”