The Golden Braid (38 page)

Gerek's heart was a hard knot inside his chest. He wanted to tell Rapunzel that he loved her, but how could he? She was the daughter of a duke. She should marry a wealthy nobleman who could give her all the things she had been denied. She wouldn't want a knight who owned no home or property, whose own father had abused him, murdered his mother, then killed himself.

There was no reason to tell her he loved her. She would not believe him now, would think he was still being mercenary, as he had been when he'd plotted to marry Lady Lankouwen.

“We are only about an hour from Hagenheim now,” he told her.

Even though she seemed angry with him, she must have become too exhausted to stay upright because she had laid her head against his chest.

His tunic felt damp. Was she crying? His knotted heart twisted inside him.

She suddenly sat up and leaned away, glaring at him. “Why do you not wish to marry Lady Lankouwen?” She hurled the words at him. “I thought she was what you wanted.”

“It no longer matters.”

She crossed her arms, her face angled away from him. She was sitting rather precariously, so he said, “If Donner gets startled by something in the dark, you will fall. You need to hold on.”

Instead of putting an arm around his waist, she held on to the saddle pommel.

He had sacrificed for two months, riding in all kinds of weather, riding halfway across the Holy Roman Empire searching for her. If not for him, she would still be locked in that ancient tower.

Not that he minded. It was worth it to know that he had rescued her, even if she wasn't grateful. But she was grateful. Or she had been. Everything had changed when she told him she was Duke Wilhelm and Lady Rose's daughter. She must have expected him to react differently. But how could he tell her that she had shattered his plans with those words, making it impossible for him to make her his wife?

Let her be angry with him. Knowing she hated him would make it easier when Duke Wilhelm married her off to a duke or margrave or earl.

It was just before curfew by the time they arrived, so dark Gerek could barely make out the town wall.

“I want you to know that I am very pleased that you will have a family now, Rapunzel. I am truly glad for you. It is wonderful news.” His chest ached, even though he meant what he said. “Will you tell the news to Lady Rose and Duke Wilhelm right away?”

“I don't know.”

“Lady Margaretha is getting married to Lord Colin. I heard it
when I came through here a week or so ago. The wedding should be very soon.”

“I shall wait until after the wedding, then. I don't want to take away from Lady Margaretha's joyous day.”

Her words sounded reasonable, but the way she said them proved that she was still angry.

“You should go to the wedding.”

“I won't be invited.”

“Then you should go with me.” He said the words before he had time to think about them. But it would be a shame if she didn't go, since she was Margaretha's sister.

Finally, she looked back at him. “Are you sure you want me to go with you?”

“Yes, I am sure. I shall escort you.”

They were entering the castle gate, and when the two guards spotted them, they cheered. Other guards and knights saw them as they moved toward the castle and also cheered, running forward to praise Gerek and to welcome Rapunzel back.

Lady Margaretha's wedding was to be in three days. Rapunzel would only have to keep her secret a little longer. She had discussed with Frau Adelheit her plan not to tell Duke Wilhelm and Lady Rose until after Margaretha's wedding, and she approved. In order to get the knights to go search for Rapunzel, Frau Adelheit had actually told some of them that Rapunzel was from a noble family and not a maidservant at all, and if they were to find her, Duke Wilhelm would reward them. They probably were still wondering if the story was true.

Rapunzel and the rest of the servants at Hagenheim Castle were caught up in the excitement and all the work required for
Lady Margaretha's wedding and the ensuing feast and celebration. So Rapunzel was surprised when Lady Rose summoned her to her chamber the morning before the wedding.

Lady Rose was sitting in a chair by the window, reading. When Rapunzel came in, she stood and held out her hands to her.

Her heart leapt. Had someone told her?

“You poor dear girl,” Lady Rose said, embracing her. “I am overjoyed to have you back and so sorry your mother kidnapped you! How wonderful that Sir Gerek found you.”

Rapunzel smiled back at her.

“Are you well? Are you unhurt?”

“I am well. My mother”—she had to swallow the lump in her throat to go on—“did not hurt me, beyond forcing me to drink a sleeping potion. She knows a lot about herbs and berries.”

“She may not have hurt you physically,” Lady Rose said softly, “but what she did to you must have hurt you a great deal.” She held Rapunzel's hand.

Rapunzel took a deep breath. “I know that the way she treated me is not normal, and it's not the way a mother should treat her child.” She didn't look Lady Rose in the eye. The compassion in her face made Rapunzel's throat ache with holding back the tears.

“No, it is not. I'm so sorry she did that to you.” Lady Rose hugged her again, and this time Rapunzel put her head on the woman's shoulder, as she was slightly taller than Lady Rose, and tried not to think.

“If you want to talk about it, you can talk to me.”

“I am very well.” Rapunzel lifted her head and pulled away slightly. “I know you have your daughter's wedding tomorrow. You should not be thinking about me now.”

“Oh, do not worry about the wedding.” She smiled. “Margaretha is spending nearly every minute with Colin. I have plenty of time to talk with you. Come, sit down.”

They sat on the bench by the window, and Lady Rose kept hold of her hand.

“Tell me what happened.”

Rapunzel took a deep breath. “My mother locked me in an abandoned tower. When Sir Gerek found me, Gothel was away, so he helped me down.”

“Were you overjoyed to see Sir Gerek?”

“Oh yes, of course. I was glad. Very glad.” Her throat ached again at the thought of Sir Gerek's strange behavior the last day of their journey. Had she truly expected him to want to marry her? How foolish she was.

“Duke Wilhelm is planning to reward him in some way for saving you.”

“That is very good.” Sir Gerek had been so kind and friendly, even loving, when he found her. Remembering that made the tears come, and this time she could not hold them back.

“What is wrong, my dear?”

“Nothing.” She wiped at the tears, but they just kept coming.

Lady Rose handed her a cloth. “There, there. You can tell me about it. It will make you feel better.”

She buried her face in the cloth. Her heart ached as if it would burst. She had to relieve it somehow. “I love him.”

“You love Sir Gerek?”

“Yes. So horribly.”

“Love is not horrible.”

“But he doesn't love me. I thought perhaps he did, but . . . he doesn't want me. And I don't know how to live if he doesn't love me back.”

Lady Rose gathered her in her arms and she sobbed on Lady Rose's shoulder. She couldn't seem to stop herself. She should not have told Lady Rose all of this. How foolish and weak to love him when he didn't love her! Had she fulfilled Gothel's prophecy about
her by falling in love with a man who ultimately didn't want her? Was she just like Gothel? And now she was wetting Lady Rose's shoulder with her tears.

When her sobs subsided and she was able to wipe her face with the cloth, Lady Rose let her pull away, and she looked her in the eye. “Listen to me. You deserve to be loved. And someday I pray that you will get married and your husband will love you. But in the meantime, your heavenly Father loves you more than any man on earth could love you. Do you believe that?”

“Yes, but . . . God can't put his arms around me and . . . and tell me he loves me.”

“God is putting his arms around you at this very moment.” Lady Rose's arms held Rapunzel tight. “He is telling you he loves you now.”

What did she mean? Rapunzel sighed.

“Let me tell you a story.” Lady Rose pulled away and allowed Rapunzel to sit back against the chair beside hers. “When I was very young, I wanted to get married to someone who would cherish me and make me feel loved. When I married Duke Wilhelm, my dream had come true. He loved me and he cherished me. But deep in my heart, I still did not feel satisfied. And when my husband had to go on journeys, to do the things that a ruling duke must do for the sake of his people and his region, I would feel sad and lonely and disappointed. I would have that same desperate feeling I had when I was a girl, longing for someone who would love me.

“And then, when my little girl Elsebeth died, I thought my heart was broken and would never mend. But I realized that my husband was also devastated and heartbroken. Only God could heal our pain. And if I loved my husband as I said I did, then I needed to comfort him. That is when I began to understand that he was only a man—a very good man who loved me, but a man nevertheless. He was not God. So I stopped trying to make him the god of my life, expecting
him to bring me healing, and started expecting perfect love and satisfaction from God alone.

“So, you see, a man can love you, but only imperfectly. It is God alone who can be God.”

Rapunzel nodded, even though she didn't understand how God could give her healing from Gerek not loving her.

“Can you tell me exactly what happened between you and Sir Gerek?”

Rapunzel inhaled a shaky breath and began from the beginning, telling what had passed between her and Sir Gerek from the first day they had met. When she came to the part about being alone with him for the journey back to Hagenheim, she said, “But on the final day, his manner toward me changed. I still don't understand it.” It must have had something to do with her secret, but she wasn't ready to tell Lady Rose about that.

“He did not take advantage of you in any way when you were alone, did he?”

“No, no. He never even kissed me.” The tears started to come back again, but she blinked them away. “He just doesn't want me.”

Lady Rose was quiet for a few moments. Then she said, “I have known Sir Gerek since he was a boy. You might not realize it at first, but he is very thoughtful. He thinks a long time before he makes a decision. Because of the way his father was, he has a fear of being impulsive and of falling in love.”

She paused, placing her hand on Rapunzel's shoulder, then said, “Here is my old Psalter. I want you to have it.” She reached into a box by her chair and handed her a leather-bound book. “I want you to read it, and every place that speaks of God's love, I want you to believe that it is talking about you. In Psalm 18, when David writes, ‘He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters,' I want you to know that this is about you. God saved
you from that tower prison because he loved you. Just like the psalmist, I want you to say, ‘I trust in His unfailing love.' ”

Rapunzel nodded, holding the book lovingly between her palms.

Lady Rose embraced her again. “I am very glad you talked with me today. I shall want to hear how you are feeling in a day or two.”

“Yes.” Rapunzel embraced her mother. “In a day or two, I shall tell you how I am feeling.” And much more.

Chapter Thirty-Four

The wedding day arrived, and Lady Rose sent
Rapunzel a dress—a red silk cotehardie—to wear to the wedding. It was bright and shimmery and the most beautiful thing she had ever worn. And when Sir Gerek sent a maidservant to tell her he was ready to escort her to the wedding, she took a deep breath and thanked God she could face Sir Gerek wearing something beautiful.

He had that pained look on his face again. She remembered what Lady Rose had said. If Rapunzel truly loved Sir Gerek, then she should realize he was a man and think about what he might be feeling.

He offered her his arm, and she placed her hand on it. “Thank you for escorting me to the wedding. It is very kind of you.”

He looked surprised. “I think it is important for you to be here. I hope you will tell Lady Rose your news very soon after the wedding.”

“I will.”

They made their way to the front of the castle to wait for the joyful couple to emerge and lead the way to the Hagenheim
Dom.
The Hagenheim Cathedral had been the site for Valten's wedding almost two years before, as the other servants had explained to her, but Gabe had married his wife, Sophie, in Hohendorf three years before. He, his wife, and his two children had arrived a week ago for his sister Margaretha's wedding.

How odd it was to know that Valten and Gabe were her brothers, and to see her sisters, Margaretha, Kirstyn, and Adela, as well as her other brothers, Stefan and Wolfgang, and the little Toby, whom Lady Rose and Duke Wilhelm had recently adopted into their family. None of them had any idea that she, Rapunzel, was their lost sister, Elsebeth.