The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex (82 page)

In the early nineties, CPLC’s video production arm was one of many adult companies hit with an obscenity indictment during sting operations by the Justice Department. As CPLC’s general manager, Susan was held personally liable and convicted of interstate distribution of obscene materials. She and the CPLC management team decided to disband the company and sell off its video arm. Susan purchased the name of CPLC’s novelty line, Swedish Erotica, and launched her own toy company in 1994.

After years in the industry, Susan knew the niche she wanted to target: “When I visited adult stores, I saw that they were only geared to men. And I talked to women who said they didn’t want to walk into adult stores even though they were interested in the products. I felt that if changes were made, people would come.” From the very beginning, she had a vision of how California Exotic Novelties could stand out from the pack: “My concept was that we should come out with higher-quality items and better packaging. I was sure that couples and women would be more interested if toys weren’t marketed just to men. Most people just laughed: They said, ‘the consumer doesn’t care; they’re not going to pay for higher quality.’”

It turns out, of course, that the consumer
did
care. California Exotic’s rise has coincided with the explosive growth of the adult toy industry. When Susan started out at CPLC, videos ruled the shelves at typical adult stores, and novelties made up only about 10 percent of their inventory. The market has broadened in recent years, as lingerie stores, specialty shops, and countless websites have all added adult products. Although Susan modestly attributes her success to luck and timing, it has probably had more to do with her drive, business acumen, and willingness to take risks. And she never gives up on what she knows to be a good idea: Susan championed the development of remote-controlled vibrators and rechargeable battery vibrators, despite considerable start-up expense. Cal Exotics gets product ideas from consumers, from retailers, and at trade shows—if they hear the same request from enough different people, they’ll work to create a prototype.

A lot has changed since Susan started out in the industry, not least of which is attitudes toward her profession. Always candid about the work she does, she’s noticed that people respond much more favorably now than in the past: “When I meet people at parties, I tell them that I manufacture adult novelties. Years ago, they would clam up or change the subject. Now most people are just fascinated and they want to know where they can get a catalog or the latest toy!”

Check out Cal Exotics online at
www.calexotics.com
.

CHAPTER
19

Safer Sex

“Safer sex” is the term used to describe sexual activities that minimize the risk of spreading sexually transmitted diseases. This chapter may seem redundant since many of the activities you’ve read about so far qualify as safer sex. Masturbating, playing with sex toys, massage, sharing fantasies, and erotica are all safe and creative ways to enjoy sex. One of our motivations in writing this book was to illustrate the dozens of ways one can enjoy sex without engaging in high-risk activities. In chapters where we describe somewhat risky activities, we’ve incorporated easy ways to practice them safely.

Nonetheless, we would be remiss in omitting basic information about sexually transmitted diseases, since the more information you have, the better able you are to make decisions regarding your own sexual health. What’s more, we jump at the opportunity to get excited about safer-sex accessories. Too often they are treated purely as a necessary evil—weapons and armor in the war on disease, rather than as sex toys, deserving the same enthusiasm we lavish on vibrators and dildos.

The definition of safer sex can be expanded to include another area that directly impacts our sexual health: contraception. Although we consider birth control an important responsibility in a sexually active person’s life, we have chosen not to enumerate the many forms of contraception in this chapter. There are entire books and websites devoted to this subject alone; most treat the issue with the attention, thoroughness, and respect it deserves. Keep in mind as you read, however, that condoms are a reliable method of contraception when used correctly.

Just the Facts, Ma’am

Sexually Transmitted Diseases or STDs

One in five people in the United States has been infected with a sexually transmitted disease (STD) at some time in his or her life. There are over fifty known diseases that can be transmitted through sexual activity; chlamydia, gonorrhea, genital warts, genital herpes, hepatitis B, syphilis, and AIDS are among the most common. Itching, nausea, painful urination, vaginal discharge, fatigue, skin changes, rashes, and sores on or near the genitals can be signs or symptoms of an STD, and you should visit your doctor or a health center immediately if you suspect you may have contracted one.

If you’re sexually active, it’s a good idea to get tested regularly for STDs. Chlamydia, for example, is the most common STD in the United States largely because up to 40 percent of men and 85 percent of women show no symptoms when they contract the infection. Although chlamydia is easily treated with antibiotics, if a woman’s infection remains untreated, it can lead to Pelvic Inflammatory Disease, possibly resulting in infertility or ectopic pregnancies. Women who have been treated for chlamydia should get rescreened within a few months because of the high rate of reinfection.

If you’re diagnosed with an STD, your doctor will give you specific guidelines for treatment. STDs are either bacterial or viral. Bacterial infections, such as gonorrhea, chlamydia, and syphilis, can be treated with antibiotics. Viral infections like hepatitis, HIV, genital warts, and herpes aren’t necessarily curable. If you haven’t been vaccinated for hepatitis B and become infected, your initial infection can be treated with gamma globulin, but the disease may remain in your system and you may remain a carrier. Both herpes and HIV infection are incurable at this time, though antivirals can suppress the severity of herpes outbreaks, and ongoing breakthroughs in the treatment of HIV/AIDS are increasing the chances of long-term survival for HIV-positive individuals.

An estimated 80 percent of the population has been exposed to genital warts. These warts are caused by the human papillomavirus (HPV) and can be transmitted by skin-to-skin contact. There are up to a hundred different strains of HPV, which cause warts all over the body, and about twenty of these strains cause genital warts. External genital warts can be removed via lasers or freezing, but this does not eliminate the virus. Most strains of genital warts are harmless, though certain strains produce cancerous cell changes that result in cervical or anal cancer. Not only can you have the virus and show no symptoms, but the strains of HPV that cause cervical or anal cancer aren’t visible to the naked eye. The best protection against cancer-causing genital warts is for women to have regular vaginal pap smears. With rates of anal cancer on the rise in the gay community, doctors are recommending regular anal pap smears as well.

I’m very concerned about STDs and HIV not for myself but for my daughter, who is 12. I did catch herpes and venereal warts having unprotected sex in my twenties. I have had many long talks with my child about the topic, and even when she was only 9. I showed her a condom and told her why she must always use one.

HIV/AIDS

WHAT IS IT? AIDS stands for Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome. The “acquired” means that the HIV virus must be transmitted to you somehow; “immunodeficiency” refers to the virus attacking your immune system. The HIV virus destroys your immune system’s ability to combat disease. The person who dies from AIDS actually succumbs to an opportunistic infection (such as pneumocystis or Kaposi’s sarcoma) that a healthy individual’s immune system would fight off.

TRANSMISSION: The virus known as HIV (Human Immunodeficiency Virus) is transmitted when an infected individual’s bodily fluids—most commonly blood and semen—enter another person’s bloodstream via open cuts or mucous membranes. Unprotected (no condom) penis-vagina and penis-anus intercourse are the most common methods of transmission. Sharing blood, such as when intravenous drug-users share needles, is another common method of transmission. The virus cannot be transmitted by mosquitoes (or other insects), a handshake, toilet seats, clothes, phones, food handlers, or sneezing. HIV is only present in high enough concentrations to be transmissible in blood, semen, vaginal secretions, and breast milk. While it’s present in trace quantities in sweat, saliva, urine, or tears, there’s no evidence that it can be transmitted via these fluids. Although studies have yet to be done on HIV levels in female ejaculate, it seems likely that female ejaculate is a low-risk fluid.

GETTING TESTED: You can take a blood test at any medical facility and at many free clinics that will indicate whether you have been exposed to the HIV virus. Currently there is only one FDAAPPROVED home test (called Home Access), which is available at drugstores. It comes with instructions and tools for you to take a blood sample and return it to a central lab. You can call a few days later to hear the results. The home test is anonymous and convenient, and the results are delivered to you by phone counselors. You may prefer, however, to take an HIV test at a clinic where counselors will be on hand to advise you should the results come back positive.

Basic Safer-Sex Guidelines

• Viruses and bacteria cannot pass through latex.

• Use condoms every time you have either vaginal or anal intercourse. You may want to use unlubricated (or try flavored) ones for oral sex as well.

• Put condoms on sex toys used by more than one person for any type of penetration or on toys that go from anus to vagina.

• Use dental dams or a cut-open condom or glove as a barrier during oral-vaginal or oral-anal sex.

• Use only water-based lubricants with latex (including condoms, gloves, dams, cots, and diaphragms). Never use oil or petroleum-based products with latex.

• Never reuse latex.

If you’ve had unprotected sex, you should be aware of the so-called “window period.” This period is the amount of time your immune system takes to produce HIV-antibodies in response to infection. While healthy individuals usually develop antibodies within two to twelve weeks after infection, it can take as long as six months to develop levels of HIV antibodies that will be detectable in a blood test. Therefore, you should either postpone your HIV test until six months after the incident of unprotected sex, or repeat the test then to make sure previous testing hasn’t produced a false negative result. False positive test results are also not uncommon, so if you test positive once, your doctor or clinician will administer a second, more sophisticated blood test to confirm your HIV status. While there’s no cure for AIDS at this time, an HIV-positive diagnosis is
not
an automatic death sentence. An ever-widening range of treatments can keep the virus in check and significantly extend life expectancy.

A Word About Latex Accessories

Introducing latex barriers—condoms, gloves, dams, cots—into your sex play is the easiest and most effective way to minimize the risk of transmitting bodily fluids or of otherwise coming into contact with the viruses and bacteria that cause sexually transmitted diseases. These supplies are inexpensive, reliable, and easy to find. Between 2 and 4 percent of the population, however, is allergic to latex. We’ll discuss the alternatives—polyurethane or lambskin condoms, nitrile gloves, and plastic coverings like Saran Wrap—later in this chapter.

We know that whatever barrier you choose, with a little practice, you’ll be snapping on the gloves and lubing up those condoms as if you’d been doing it all your life. You can find latex condoms, cots, and gloves in pharmacies, medical or dental supply houses, and sex boutiques. You’re more likely to find dental dams at dental supply houses or sex boutiques than at the local drugstore.

When I lost two close friends to hepatitis C and AIDS, I realized how real the safesex issue was. Since then, I’ve helped my friends understand it, and have become the “condom/lube/dental dam/latex glove bank” for them. I haven’t done this at all begrudgingly, since I might well save their lives.

A Word about STDs, Lubes, and Latex

As you’ll recall from our Lubrication chapter, we think lubes are an essential ingredient in all your sexual encounters, and they are certainly indispensable when it comes to safer sex as well. Recent studies have revealed some interesting relationships between certain lubes and STDs.

First the bad news. Nonoxynol-9, a spermicidal ingredient commonly added to many condoms and lubes because it has been shown to kill viruses in a laboratory setting, has proven to irritate mucous membranes to such an extent that it can cause vaginal or rectal lesions, thereby creating greater opportunity for infection. The Centers for Disease Control now officially discourages the use of products with nonoxynol-9. It is gradually disappearing from condoms and lubes, but you would do well to check any listing of ingredients.

On the bright side, a recent study revealed that out of twenty-two lubes tested, three (of which Astroglide is the most popular) contain unique compounds that were 99 percent effective in killing HIV in a laboratory setting. Further field tests are being done, and we certainly aren’t suggesting that you consider Astroglide a tool for preventing HIV transmission. Obviously, you should not forgo the use of condoms and other latex barriers. But this study does provide one more excellent argument for using lube!